Kris.. I did do the
suboxone thing but in retrospect not sure if it was the right thing. This is the second time I've quit. First some background.
I started taking
percocet almost 3 years ago in Jan of 03 when I broke my wrist. This accident coincided with my dad having a stroke. I was given a prescription when I broke the wrist, but found that they helped with the emotional pain as well. I worked with a guy who had a condition which enabled him to get an almost endless supply of percocet. I started buying them from him.
I started to abuse them but kept it somewhat under control.. maybe 2-3 perc 10s during the week and 4-5 per day on the weekends. One day I was just tired of taking them.. my boyfriend hated that I was on them and I was just over it. So I just quit. Cold turkey.. went thru a week of almost zero sleep, flu like symptoms, etc. I finally went to my doctor, told her what was up... She gave me some
ambien to help me sleep and suggested I see a counselor. I did NOT see a counselor and I stayed clean very easily for 4 months. Then one day I just picked up a pill (had kept a couple around kind of like a security blanket) and never looked back. Over the past year and 1/2 (up until about 2 months ago) I was taking them regularly.. .earlier and earlier in the day.. some days on weekends would just wake up and start taking them. Anywhere between 8-15 percocet 10s per day. I was paying for these out of pocket...$8.00 per pill so it was getting expensive. There were times I could not reach my source and the panic I had when my supply was low was horrible! I was making stupid mistakes at work...where I pride myself on being a perfectionist. I found this board... met some supportive people... it took me a while to quit.. .kept using excuses.. always next week...when I'm ready ..etc... finally just set a day, called the sub doctor and here I am.
Quitting is difficult but not impossible. There are days I miss them and would love to take "just one." I know though, that would just lead me down the same old road. The sub is ok. I think if you are really ready to quit.. .REALLY ready...and are at a relatively low level of use, it is best to go cold turkey and just suffer thru it for a week and be done with it. Again, it sucks but no different than having the flu. I didn't miss any work when I was going cold turkey. If there is any question as to your desire to quit...if you are not mentally ready... the suboxone helps with the mental addiction ...the cravings... but I hear that the withdrawal from suboxone can be as bad if not worse than the pain pills...it's kind of a transitional drug.....and it is valuable for the right people. I was scared this time around that my percocet dosage was too high to go cold turkey and this seemed like an easy fix. I have had some side effects from the suboxone...if you want I can go into that but suffice it to say I have had some miserable moments. I can't for sure say it is related to the sub... maybe it is more the absense of the percocet, ..it's difficult to say.
Anyway, if you are close to your parents, please tell them. Having the support of family like I said would be REALLY beneficial to your recovery. If you are only 23 please do not let this addiction wreck your life. Trust me ... it will only get worse. Even if you think you have a handle on it now, there will come a day when you do not. I wish you all the best in this. I really hope you are able to get an appointment with a sub doctor if that is how you choose to go. Have you ever tried going cold turkey? Also you said you were taking 18-20 per day.. what were the mg on the pills?.
how to talk to a doctor about my addiction 
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