I have been a long time advocate for HIV issues, then in January of 1999, I was officially diagnosed with the virus. I was still in my twenties and life would be forever changed. Many people ask me how this could happen. I am very open to questions asked, as it is surprising how one may be impacted by the answer to one specific question, more than the entire educational material available. The fact is I was in a relationship, when we first started dating we had discussed HIV and it's impact on couples, specifically the impact on gay men. After some time I decided we should both go and get tested for HIV and have a full STD screening before the relationship became sexual. We both went to the office and had blood drawn, swabs and all the other things that come along with a full STD screening. Two weeks later we returned to the office for our results. I went in first, while my partner waited in the lobby and was informed I had tested negative. My partner then went in for his results. He came out and as we left the office I shared my results with him. He told me his results had also come back negative.
When we started engaging in a sexual relationship, I figured since we both were negative for HIV and STDS that protection was not necessary. Nearly a year later I became quite ill and went to the doctor. The doctor told me based on my symptoms he would like to run an HIV test just to be sure. I told him I was in a monogamous relationship, but agreed to have the test anyway. This time I tested positive. I was devastated and went home and told my partner. Immediately everything about the relationship changed. It was not long before he left me. I later discovered that he had been cheating on me. He had become ill at one point with many flu like symptoms, I at this time also discovered; the doctor had run another HIV test and this time he was positive. He never told me, and as a result of these actions, on both of our parts I contracted the virus.
Since that time I have fully devoted my life to spreading the message of Prevention and Education. I share my story as to how I actually had worked in the HIV field before I tested positive and yet it still happened to me. Through my personal story I have had the incredible honor of reaching many. I inform everyone that this virus does not discriminate based on age, sex, race, nationality, sexual orientation, economical class, or as in my case relationship status. If you are not trying to have a baby there is no reason not to wear a condom, even if in a relationship. Everyday hundreds of people learn their partner cheated on them, potentially putting them at risk. It is not about trust it is about your life. If you are having sex get tested every year.
Life has not been easy, I catch just about everything that goes around, and do experience frequent infections. The "magic pills" keep my health up but I still have to live with the many side effects. This year alone I lost 6 friends to HIV/AIDS. Yet I live with hope, because life is worth living. We all must take responsibility for our actions, and we all must pay for our mistakes. It is only our duty to turn the negative into something positive in our lives. Things could always be much worse. Live healthy, be healthy and be aware.
Aaron Gould
National HIV Educator
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