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HELP~!! Oxycotin & Percocet Use by My Teenage Son
  1. #1
    2pack is offline New Member
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    Default HELP~!! Oxycotin & Percocet Use by My Teenage Son

    Hi,

    I found out today that my teenage son has been using Oxycotin & Percocet. He says he has been using them for about 8 or 9 months. I know that in December of 2004 he went to the doctor and his weight was 210 pounds. Today, he weighs 150 pounds. Yes, he has lost 60 pounds~!! He is nearly 6 foot tall but.........

    He is VERY irritable and sometimes has trouble with his stomach hurting, diarrhea, stomach cramping, throwing up, etc. Mostly ALL of these symptoms happen in the morning time.

    He says he uses Percocet more often. He says he has only tried the Oxycotin about 10 times and the rest has been Percocet. He told me he paid $20 for the Oxycotin and $5 for the Percocet (each pill). He also told me I was really worried for nothing. I was a teenager once too. I remember how well I could say what I knew my parents wanted to hear.

    He and one of his older brothers got in a fist fight this morning and his brother told this. After that, my teenager admitted what he was doing. My teenager talked really disrespectful to my Mother and myself. That is the reason his 23 year old brother jumped on him. They have always been very close. I ask my 23 year old why he did not tell me sooner, was he waiting for the funeral to tell me. Now the whole family is ripped apart.

    My teenager says it is not a problem and that he just uses the pain pills once in awhile. His older brother told me I was crazy if I believed him.

    I know that he smokes marijuana and cigarettes but does NOT drink alcohol.

    I found this forum while searching the internet about these drugs. I feel like I have been slapped in the face. I don't know what to do or where to turn.

    He told me tonight that he would not take anymore pills at all. Can he go "cold turkey" like that~?? Is he just feeding me a line of bull~??

    I would appreciate any and all help you can offer to our family.

    Thanks in advance,


  2. #2
    morticia is offline Member
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    hi sorry to hear about your son i have a teen also. There is hope i was on pain meds for 2 years straight and i went off cold turkey and detoxed at home. one thing is that your son may have to be ready to quit. It sounds too me that your son is addicted too percocet and it seems too be interfering with daily life.

    My advice is too appoach him slowly and gently because you dont want too push him away. Everyone told me that i needed too stop but I just got tired of hearing it so it made me do it more. Finally I hit rock bottem.

    You also might want to consider rehab where he can detox with support groups and meds.

    There is hope dont give up. If he is ready too quit then he will and it can be done cold turkey. If your interested read my thread on "feature drugs" 5 days clean so far...." you are in my thoughs good luck.

    luv n hugs
    Morticia[:I]

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    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Do whatever it takes to get him clean.He's aleady addicted if he's had withdrawls.Oxycodone (percocet) is very mind altering and mimics a >>>>>> buzz.He really should be put into a rehab were he can be treated professionaly.At his young age he should recover well,this drug has caused so many problems with the teens it's scary.So do whatever it takes before he takes the road of no return.Good luck and your a good mom.....Dave

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hi again,

    Thank you for your replies and information. My older son still tells me that my teenager has a bigger problem with popping pills than my teenager is admitting.

    They both work on the farm with my parents. They are suppose to be at work at 8:00 AM but the teenager is always late by at least an hour. He is a grouch in the mornings when I am calling him.

    At least twice per month he wakes up with the stomach ache, diarrhea, throwing up, cramps, etc. I just don't know what to make of it.

    I have been thinking he had cancer or ulcers or some other terrible stomach problem. Now I am sure it is and has been the pills all along.

    My teenager swears he will never take another pill. What are your feelings about me purchasing a "urine test" at our local drug store and get a pee sample from him~?? How long does the PERCOCET stay in your system~??

    Thanks again,
    Kim

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    he is probley very addicted and doesnt want you to know perc can stay in your system for 3-5 days i think so you could try after that i am addicted to perc so i know it is very hard to get off trhem please make him go to rehab and get help before it turns into somthing bad like i have and others plese help him even if he doesnt want to help himself
    quote:Originally posted by 2pack

    Hi again,

    Thank you for your replies and information. My older son still tells me that my teenager has a bigger problem with popping pills than my teenager is admitting.

    They both work on the farm with my parents. They are suppose to be at work at 8:00 AM but the teenager is always late by at least an hour. He is a grouch in the mornings when I am calling him.

    At least twice per month he wakes up with the stomach ache, diarrhea, throwing up, cramps, etc. I just don't know what to make of it.

    I have been thinking he had cancer or ulcers or some other terrible stomach problem. Now I am sure it is and has been the pills all along.

    My teenager swears he will never take another pill. What are your feelings about me purchasing a "urine test" at our local drug store and get a pee sample from him~?? How long does the PERCOCET stay in your system~??

    Thanks again,
    Kim

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    BSGjunkie is offline Member
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    quote:Originally posted by 2pack

    Hi again,

    Thank you for your replies and information. My older son still tells me that my teenager has a bigger problem with popping pills than my teenager is admitting.

    They both work on the farm with my parents. They are suppose to be at work at 8:00 AM but the teenager is always late by at least an hour. He is a grouch in the mornings when I am calling him.

    At least twice per month he wakes up with the stomach ache, diarrhea, throwing up, cramps, etc. I just don't know what to make of it.

    I have been thinking he had cancer or ulcers or some other terrible stomach problem. Now I am sure it is and has been the pills all along.

    My teenager swears he will never take another pill. What are your feelings about me purchasing a "urine test" at our local drug store and get a pee sample from him~?? How long does the PERCOCET stay in your system~??

    Thanks again,
    Kim
    His morning sickness sounds like the first stages of withdrawl. The mood swings are also classic symptoms of users.

    Don't let the name Percocet fool you - it contains the same ingredient as oxycotin - Oxycodone. Oxycotin is just a time release pill that lasts 8-10 hours while Percocet is the instant release form. Percocet is actually worse for your body then Oxycotin as it contains acetaminophen which tears up the kidney and liver with long term abuse. Either way, it sounds like your son is addicted to Oxycodone - one of the strongest and most addictive painkillers out there.

    Take it from an addict - its not easy to quit, especially if you dont want to. While it may be hard to do, compassion and understanding is really the best approach. Let you son know you're there for him, that you love him, and know that its going to be a uphill battle. Also know that he will lie, cheat, and steal to keep up his addiction. When I was in the peak of my addiction I did things that make me feel sick today. I stole pills and money from my loved ones just to keep my addiction going. I lied to everyone, and always found a way to keep up my habits. I didn't realize what I had become until it was too late. It took a close family friend, who is a doctor, to set me straight. He noticed some signs and sat me down alone to let me knoe he knew what was going on. He offered his help, and I didn't want to take it at first. Luckly I started to think straight and decided I needed to quit... I'm still fighting the addiction to this day. For the first 8 or 9 months, there wasnt a day that went by where I didn't at least think about a handful of pills. There were many days where I constructed plans on how to get some. It was tough - I don't wish it upon anyone.

    I would highly suggest you sit down with your son - look him in the face - and just tell him you love him. Then in a very compassionate manor tell him you want to help. I suggest clearing your schedule for a few days and travel a few hours away and spend a few nights just the two of you. Let him detox in a hotel room while you're there to take care of him. He'll get extreme flue like symptoms and they should last 3 or 4 days, with the worst being the 2nd and 3rd. Some Imodium should help with a lot of the symptoms, and clonidine (which you'll need an Rx for) will help as well. Make sure he has lots of liquids. Warm baths help with the body aches.

    If you decide not to help him through the WD, and you don't see these symptoms, he either hasn't quit, or his addiction was only minor.

    When you speak with him about it, just let him know you've researched it so you know where he's coming from. Tell him you want to understand his pain and know how you can help. Tell him you found this site and maybe give him the link to this thread. There are many people like himself here, including me. Many of us use this as a replacement for NA meetings. He'll probably relate to many of the stories on here and he'll probably have an easier time being honest with others that can understand the realities of an addict.

    When it was time for me to quit, I would of given anything to have someone I could trust and I knew loved me for who I was, by my side to help me through it. Its a hard time. You think about all the bad things you've done, and how much easier it was to deal with everythingg when you were high.

    Just be there for him. You have every right to be disappointed in him, but try not to be mad, just help him get through it instead. This will take time. Don't expect this to go away in a matter of weeks. He'll need help for years. Once and addicted, always an addict.

    Junkie

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hello again,

    First let me say that my heart goes out to each and every one of you that has been in this position or still in this position. I know that you are on this board to help yourself in a lot of ways, but let me say THANK YOU on behalf of the many, many others that you help along the way~!! May the Lord bless you and keep you and help you continue on your path of recovery~!! You really are wonderful people for taking the time to help strangers.........

    Now for a Mom's QUESTIONS:

    ~Can my teenager be a once in awhile user who has lost 60 pounds over the last year with the stomach pains/cramps, diarrhea, throwing up, etc. and NOT be addicted (yes he WAS over-weight)~??

    ~Can he have these stomach problems because the medication has ruined his stomach and NOT withdrawal symptoms~?? He has these "symptoms" every few weeks..........

    ~Can an 18 year old who is smarter than the rest of the world (you remember how smart you thought you were at this age), stop "cold turkey" on his own IF he wants to~??

    Thank you all again,

    Kim

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    BSGjunkie is offline Member
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    quote:Originally posted by 2pack

    Hello again,

    First let me say that my heart goes out to each and every one of you that has been in this position or still in this position. I know that you are on this board to help yourself in a lot of ways, but let me say THANK YOU on behalf of the many, many others that you help along the way~!! May the Lord bless you and keep you and help you continue on your path of recovery~!! You really are wonderful people for taking the time to help strangers.........

    Now for a Mom's QUESTIONS:

    ~Can my teenager be a once in awhile user who has lost 60 pounds over the last year with the stomach pains/cramps, diarrhea, throwing up, etc. and NOT be addicted (yes he WAS over-weight)~??

    ~Can he have these stomach problems because the medication has ruined his stomach and NOT withdrawal symptoms~?? He has these "symptoms" every few weeks..........

    ~Can an 18 year old who is smarter than the rest of the world (you remember how smart you thought you were at this age), stop "cold turkey" on his own IF he wants to~??

    Thank you all again,

    Kim
    Kim,

    While I'm glad to help, its really me being selfish and doing it for my own good. Stories like yours help me remember why I want to be and stay clean. This really is my NA.

    Of course it could just be your son having stomache problems and getting himself in shape - but I doubt it. The drugs will chew up his kidney and liver. Over use wouldn't cause him to have the 'morning sickness'. Opiates can cause nausea and vomiting, but it wouldn't explain the morning sickness either as it happens a few hours after you take opiates and I doubt your son gets up at 5 or 6 AM to take some pills then gets back in bed.

    Since he has admitted to using opiates, the only logical explaination is that those morning problems are caused from his body coming down off the opiates.

    I do remember what it was like to be 18 and know everything. I was invincible! If your son wants to quit, he can. My worry is, he probably doesn't understand what he's doing, and quiting probably sounds more like a hassel that he know he 'should do' - not wants to do.

    I highly recommend that you take him away for a few days. This will give you a good judge on where he's at. Pack his bags for him so he doesn't have the oppurtunity to hide some oxy's in his bag. If you take him away, and he starts to go through WD's in the second or thrid day, you'll not only see how addicted he is, but also start the process for him. If he doesn't, then he's probably quit. Getting him out of the house, and away from his friends and sources is very important. Addicts are good at what they do and what they do is lie and cheat to get high. If he's been able to keep this from you for 8 or 9 months, he wont have any problem doing so for a few more.

    If you get your son started on the right path, I can promise two things. He will thank you, but he will also struggle staying clean. One of the hardest things is trying to fight the urge to use again. You start to convince yourself that since you've been clean you can use for a few days, and have the power to quit. People that have gone through the WDs dont want to ever do it again, yet time after time, they some how find their way back to that situation.

    So in short. Could your son just have stomache problems? Of course. Could he quit if he wanted to? Of course.... BUT both are highly unlikely.

    This will be an on going battle! Gather up a bunch of love, because you will get frustrated with him, and the love for your son will be the only thing that gets your guys through it.

    Junkie

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    When I was a teenager myself (I'm 44 now), I had this poem in the form of a poster with some wild colors hanging in my bedroom. I have NEVER forgotten it. I searched and found it on the internet. I wanted to share it with you. I finally understand the actual meaning. Here goes:

    ***************

    The Drug Addict's Marriage Creed

    (She found him there on the floor,
    his lifeless hand covering the poem....)

    So now little man, you've grown tired of grass
    L. S. D., goofballs, cocaine and hash,
    And someone pretending to be a true friend
    Said, "I'll introduce you to Miss >>>>>>."

    Well, honey, before you start fooling with me
    Just let me inform you of how it will be
    For I will seduce you and make you my slave.
    I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves.

    You think you could never become a disgrace
    And end up addicted to poppy seed waste.
    So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon;
    You'll take me into your arms very soon.

    And once I have entered deep down in your veins
    The craving will nearly drive you insane.
    You'll need lots of money (as you have been told)
    For, darling, I'm much more expensive than gold.

    You'll swindle your mother; and just for a buck
    You'll turn into something vile and corrupt.
    You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm
    And feel contentment when I'm in your arm.

    The day when you realize the monster you've grown,
    You'll solemnly promise to leave me alone
    If you think that you've got the mystical knack,
    Then, sweetie, just try getting me off of your back.

    The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots,
    The jangling nerves screaming for just one more shot.
    The chills and cold sweat, the withdrawal pains
    Can only be saved by my little white grains.

    There's no other way, and there's no need to look,
    For deep down inside, you will know you are hooked.
    You desperately run to the pusher and then
    You'll welcome me back to your arm once again.

    And when you return (just as I foretold)
    I know you will give me your body and soul.
    You'll give me your morals, your conscience, your heart,
    And you will be mine until.......death do us part.

    ***************

    I hope the meaning of this helps someone. I am going to print it and show it to my teenager.

    Thanks again,
    Kim

  10. #10
    BSGjunkie is offline Member
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    Kim,

    I really like that poem. Unfortunitly I can appreciate the truth expressed in it. I have printed it out as well. Thanks!

    Keep us updated on your son!
    Junkie

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hi again,

    Monday AM. My teenager had diarrhea most of yesterday and took medication to try to stop it. He was up most of last night and said he could not sleep. He walked the floors and read and tried everything to get sleepy.

    QUESTIONS: Is is okay for him to take a Tylenol PM at night so he can get some sleep~??

    Do you just treat the symptoms as they show up when you are getting off this stuff~??

    THANKS AGAIN,

  12. #12
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Get him some immodium AD and give him 5-6 pills at once.Also when your out buy some advil gel caps for any aches or pains.The tylenol pm is fine,buy some sports drinks like gatoraide and get him to drink as many of these as he can.It will help keep him hydrated and also give him lots of electrolytes.Do whatever it takes to get him through it except giving him opiates of course.Good luck....Dave

    P.S. He's very lucky to have someone like you....Dave

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    Antiprepp1105 is offline Member
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    It seems as if he may have a problem, but if you get him some help im sure he will bounce right back. I am 16 myself and for about 2 months took about 5 or so percocet at a time once a day. I ran out and really didnt have any withdrawal at all. A little mild discomfort and sickness in the stomach but other that i was fine. I guess It can become a problem but for me it was really no big deal at all. I thought at that dose for that long i was gonna have it pretty bad but hey im young. And before you guys attack me I don't do them anymore and have just been browsing the forums and reading the stories of the rest of you.

    -D-

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    skipper7678 is offline New Member
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    I Have been clean for almost 2 years. I could not have won this battle without suboxone. I started with percs here and there on the weekend, that led me to oxcycodone,oxcycontin. I was the perfect son.These pills almost cost me my entire life and I had a docs perscription.If he is getting that sick in the morning, the problem is worse than you are being led to believe.It takes weeks of daily use to become physically addicted enough to get visibly sick.Look into suboxone if you think he can't stop without getting sick. Suboxone saved my life and at least 8 of my close friends.It fills receptors in the brain that are now used to being filled with dope,stops withdrawals and has a blocker so even if you take pills they will not do anything except put you into worse withdrawals than you can imagine. I have absolutly NO NO chance of ever touching another pill in my life. I would try to "ween" down.It's like eating potato chips,you can't have just one. That is like telling an alcoholic you can drink,but only 1 a day. Stay away from methadone it's just as much of a buzz,he will end up addicted to methadone. Hope this helps.from a guy who has been there and done that!!!

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hi everyone~!!

    Today is the very first day that my teenager, Justin did not get up biting my head off~!!

    I wake him every morning at 8:00 AM so he can be on the farm (next door) ready to work at 8:30. Until today, he has been screaming and yelling and fussing saying things like, "Leave me alone", "I'll get up in a da** minute", "Shut-up Mom, you are driving me crazy", "Da** give me a fu***** break", "Since you will not shut the fuc* up, I am not going to fuc**** work at all today", etc. Believe me, it got much worse than that. He talked to me like a dog.

    However, he is a whole different person now. YESTERDAY MORNING (Monday), he even got up by himself and went to work. Of course he was up most of the night and all day yesterday with diarrhea. He does not have that today and is not taking any medication for it.

    He took a Tylenol PM last night to help sleep but other than that, he is not taking anything.

    He has gained 5 pounds since last week. He even laughed and said he was going to have to watch his weight. He did not want to get back up to 210 pounds again.

    I assured him that it was mostly fluids that had put the 5 pounds on him. He said maybe he would start lifting weights with his uncle to keep the "fat man" away~!! LOL

    I hope and pray that I am not living in a "dream world" and things really are getting better.

    I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to read all this and especially those of you who took the time to follow this story and make comments.

    As for the 16 year old (who made comments), who has been here and done that, I would give you a hug for what you have done if I could. You are a smart kid~!! I know that one day you will grow up and do other great things for people. Perhaps you will become a drug counselor for teens and preteens~!! You are smart~!!

    I will continue to keep all of you updated on Justin's progress.

    Thanks again,
    Kim


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    Antiprepp1105 is offline Member
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    Good to know hes feeling better. Boy am I glad I never had any kind of withdrawal like that. THank you for you compliment 2pack. I was actually considereing becoming a pharmicist (spelling?) Although I don't do them anymore I still have a facination with all types of medication and would enjoy looking into them more. But that is off topic I hope he sticks with it and stays on track.

    -D-

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    BSGjunkie is offline Member
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    2pack,

    I'm glad to hear he's getting through it! I'm actually excited to hear he's going through WD, just because its reassuring that he's actually quiting.

    I must warn you, this will be something he FIGHTS for a long time. No matter what he tells you, he'll be thinking of pills all day for months. He'll need lots of will power to stay away from the evil things. He will probably give in at some point and at least take a few, once and addict, always an addict. Lets just hope when he fails, he catches himself before it gets bad. I fell two weeks ago and it was the first time I've ever been able to catch myself.

    Let him know you're there for him. The best situation possible would be if he feels comfortable and open enough with you to tell you about his cravings, or if he slips - but the only way he'll do that is if he knows he wont be judged for his faults.

    You're such a strong parent for being able to go through this, My heart and prayers go out to you and your son.

    Junkie

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    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hi everyone,

    We are going into week two of this situation. So far, so good. Justin is doing GREAT~!! He gets up and goes to work on the farm every single day. He no longer bites my head off when I wake him for work in the mornings. He and his brother are back to being best friends again. Remember, he and his older brother actually got into a fist fight in our laundry room last week when his brother FINALLY told on Justin and his pill popping habits.

    Justin is really shaping up. He has nice color to his skin again. I did not realize until I knew what was happening that he was really looking so "yellow".

    He has not gained any extra weight besides the 5 pounds so far. He says he gets tired during the day but manages to keep going until he turns in around midnight. He is drinking Gatorade and iced tea.

    Another difference that I have noticed is that when he comes home at night (yes he goes to town 7 days a week) is that when he comes home now, he will sit in the den and actually talk to us for a few minutes before going to bed.

    Before this all came about, he came in and went straight to the bathroom and then to his bedroom with the door closed for the night.

    Also he no longer has that "drunk sailor" mouth with all the dirty words either. He seems to be more mature when it comes to actually carrying on a conversation~!!

    You guys have helped us sooooooo much~!! I have sent others that I know to this website in hopes that they can get help too. This place was a Godsend~!!

    I will continue to keep you informed of his progress.

    Thanks again,
    Kim

  19. #19
    2pack is offline New Member
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    Hello everyone,

    I wanted to give you all an update on Justin as we head into week three of him leaving the pills behind.

    He is doing GREAT~!! He has gained 9 pounds so far. He is working 5 days a week now and even worked this past Saturday~!! He has NEVER offered to work on weekends.

    His attitude has taken a complete turn around. He can actually sit around with the rest of the family and carry on a conversation with out getting uptight and leaving the room.

    He has not been sick anymore. It seems good that he is not having the headaches, vomiting, stomach cramps, diarrhea, etc. He is a whole new kid~!!

    I just hope and pray that he keeps up the good work. I keep close tabs on him without him knowing it. So far, so good. He is keeping himself clean and staying away from the few kids he was hanging around with when all of this trouble started back last summer.

    I will continue to keep you posted. I appreciate all of your help with this. I sincerely hope that this thread will help some other person get off the pills~!!

    Kindest Regards,
    Kim

  20. #20
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Well good for him and you.There is nothing worse then to see someone you love killing themselves with drugs.He is at a very vulnerable time right now as he may be thinking " hey,I got this pill thing licked.Now maybe I could take a couple pills every now and then and keep it under control".This happen alot and the addict relapses and has to start over,so it's just something I thought you should know.Other than that have a good day......Dave

  21. #21
    2pack is offline New Member
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    Well, we just found out again tonight that our son is back on OxyContin. He looks like death warmed over. His weight is down to just under 150 and he is skinny as a rail.

    He is so grouchy you cannot stand to hardly be around him. He works around the farm here with the rest of the family----when he works at all.

    What can we do? HELP~!!


  22. #22
    Baby Steps is offline Senior Member
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    Hello and Welcome back unfortunately 2 Pack. Your son needs to be admitted to a rehab or send him to this board. He hasn't hit bottom yet therefore he will continue to use and tell himself and everyone else he doesn't have a problem but the fact is he has a very serious problem. Please search your area for an ALNON group for support. They can give you support and guidence and hopefully a way to get your son into intervention.

    Please continue to come here for support and let us know how you, your son and family are doing. Get on your knees and pray that God will deliver him from this addiction. Keep researching until you have a full understanding of what you are really dealing with because it is much more than you think.

    Please stay strong, tough love but gentle words. We are here for you if you need any advice and My Heart just breaks for you and your family and your son. I will keep you in my prayers and please stay in touch. Hang in there 2pak!!

    Hugz,

    Baby Steps

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    tom316 is offline Member
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    2 pack,throw your son straight into rehab.at his age that may be his only hope. You know as well as I do every teenager thinks they know it all but your son has no clue! This stuff will ruin his life.Do whatever it takes to get him into rehab.Hang in there!

  24. #24
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    I agree with the rest,get him into rehab.Rehab will give him the tools he needs should he go back on opiates again.He doesn't really know how to handle this addiction and rehab will give him the tools he needs that he can't get from us or loving parents.Let's us know how you and he is doing......Dave

  25. #25
    makisupa is offline Junior Member
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    SOME OTHER THING i HEARD.

    The body is going to need Proteins. Some how , Opiates block the absorbsion of the vital nutrients we need as humans. Proteins are the Building blocks of life. Lack of these things add too the fatigue and lazyness. So at first try to stay away from RED MEATS. Too much for the stomache I guess. Try fish, chicken, etc... Also I draml PediLyte (?) Its the stuff you give new borms when they have watery stool. It really helped my stomache out and added nutrients. Also, get IMMOTIUM AD (?) To stem off the gass build up in the Gastro Tract and get Anti-diarreha pills. if you get rid of the gas, and use the AD to kinda stop you up, but not too much/ I wouldnt Pill form Vitamins untill stomache pain is over. Vitamins need to be taken on an FULL stomache. They are are very hard on the stomache, most are.


    there was some other things, but I forget for now. I will write if I remember

  26. #26
    2pack is offline New Member
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    It is noon here and I just got out of bed myself. We had a long night without much sleep because of worrying over this.

    My son is still sleeping. I went in earlier and touched him to make sure he was okay before I went back and laid down for another hour.

    I read back over this whole post that I started in May of 2006 and had a nice cry. Today he is acting just like he did then.

    He tells us that we don't love him and we don't listen to him or do anything for him..............I have NEVER heard such, "I feel sorry for myself" attitude in my life~!!

    We have 4 sons. He is the youngest and the only one who still lives at home. If you ask all them, they will tell you that we spoiled him rotten---that he gets everything he wants. Well I wish I know where to go from here.

    I APPRECIATE all of you who have taken the time to write and pray for "the kid" as we all call him and the rest of our family.

    I am going to look around on the computer now and see if I can find a group that my husband and I can attend so we can figure out what in the world to do that is in our area. We live in the woods.

    By the way, "the kid" (our son) has NOT told us he is doing a thing wrong. Last night we kept him in the den talking for over an hour. He nearly fell asleep on us several times stilling straight up on the couch. My husband ask him if he was "doing something". He said that he nerves were bad yesterday (he and his dad had an argument and he said he could not wait to move out, etc....) and "the kid" said he took a XANAX to calm his nerves.

    It was something MORE than a single Xanax. He acted as if he had a 1/2 gallon of liquor to drink only WITHOUT the smell. NO smell at all.

    "The kid" told us that he was doing nothing but smoking weed. He said that he was angry because we thought he was back on pills. He said he would never do pills. Being a Mom, I wanted to believe him.

    BUT, he sleeps a lot during the day, works about 15 hours per week, has all the problems with his stomach again, his skin is cold feeling while he is sleeping, he is skinny and don't eat much, he leaves home everyday around 3 or 4 PM, comes home at night and can barely walk, dry mouth, slurred speech, eyes half open, etc.

    His girlfriend of nearly 3 years says she knows NOTHING about all this. She has NONE of these symptoms. She also lives with us.

    ONE MORE THING, how in the world do you get an "adult" 19 year old into rehab when the 19 year old does NOT want to go~!!?? In North Carolina, if someone is OVER 18 it is up to them and NOT the parents or anyone else except a judge. A judge will not put them there unless they break the law SEVERAL TIMES........

    Please forgive my "book".

    Thanks folks,


  27. #27
    2pack is offline New Member
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    I wanted to show you guys this website:

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

    You may want to bookmark it so you can show it to others you are helping. Without you peeps, the rest of us would be lost.

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all your help~!!

  28. #28
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Sounds like he's abusing benzodiazepines and suffering from depression.I would get him in to your doctor and have him go over him.Like you say at 19 your hands are tied as he's responsible for himself.Have you asked him if he's feeling depressed???Sleeping especially in the daytime is a good sign that he may be suffering from depression.This is a terrible thing to go through as I went through it for well over 20 years.I hope you're able to get him some help,poor guy......Dave

  29. #29
    2pack is offline New Member
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    Depression? That is putting it mildly I think. He has cried off and on for the past few days saying no one loves him or cares about him.

    That is NOT true~!! He has everything handed to him on a silver platter.

    We just don't know what to do. He refuses to go to the doctor. He FINALLY told us tonight before storming out of the house and leaving that he was taking OXYCODON and PERCOCET "sometimes" to get high.

    He does not drink. He just does the pills and weed.

    I have no idea how he takes the pills. We searched his bedroom and found 2 goldish/tan pills, round with the numbers "751" on one side and the letter "M" or either a "W" on the other.

    Anyone know what that is? We did not tell him we found them YET.

    We told him that we just knew he was doing pills again........The whole family is torn apart and no one knows what to do. He is such a good, handsome kid. I hate that this is happening to him.

    Thanks for your input~!!

    God Bless,

  30. #30
    sydbean is offline Member
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    2Pack ~ First of all I think you need to let go of calling him "the kid". Honestly, you need to see that he is an ADULT man that needs to make some adult decisions. I don't know if you have ever had the chance to watch the show on tv called Intervention. If not it may be worth looking for. It shows over and over different families doing interventions for different reasons etc. The idea is a family, friends and community come together and choose 3-5 of the people that are closest to the individual and they sit down and talk to the person.

    It is very clear that he is an adult now and you can't "make" him go to rehab. He is an adult and he must make that decision. What you can do is very clearly outline what you are going to do. You tell him that you will no longer support his drug use. You lay out very clearly exactly what you will do if he does not choose, that day, that moment he MUST agree to go to treatment (it will be very important to have everything in place and a place ready with a bed available so if and when he agrees there is no break in the flow...he will need to go that very night...I want to let you know that is you find a local NA chapter and maybe even AA they will be willing to meet with you as much as it takes to get all your ducks in a row before you actually have the intervention)

    Once you let him know exactly what you are asking of him you tell him what is going to change if he does not decide to go to treatment. These things that you lay out to him MUST be true. Not empty threats and as much as it may break your heart you MUST follow through with them if he refuses treatment. It is both good and bad that he lives with you. Good because that is the first thing you need to tell him. You will no longer allow him to be in your home...for any reason....(yes that means no living there) that is UNTIL he seeks treatment. You will continue to mention the ways that you support him. i.e. you will no longer buy groceries for him and provide his meals. He will kick and scream and try to bargain and you must hold totally firm with him. He will either walk out the door and claim to not care and do what you will (trust me he WILL come back) or he will start to panic and will make all sorts of promises to stop doing drugs and to go to meeting whatever you want....etc. I think you get the idea. The only way the intervention will work is if you and your family decide ahead of time the terms of the intervention and you never once waiver from what you decide and tell him you won't do. Often each family member will write a letter to the person that they read aloud. It is good to do because with all the emotions flowing it can be very distracting. Each person ends there letter/speech with a simple phrase "so, will you please go get treatment today"

    Now remember if he decides "as an adult" that he just won't go than you must treat him like the adult he claims to be in making that decision. Yes, you will have to follow through on exactly what you said you would do. If he is not packing his bags to go to treatment than he has to be packing them to leave. Those are his only two choices. I think the picture will become very clear to him.

    This may sound harsh and it is. Drug abuse/use is not a pretty thing. But this form of an intervention is proven to work. If you can be strong and stick to it (like I said use your resources and call a local NN/or AA if they can't directly help you at that time they will let you know who can. There are people that do interventions with families as a job)

    I can tell you from all that I have seen if you do this and you follow what you say it may take some uncomfortable days of allowing him to lick his wounded pride and to have worn out his welcome on a friends couch but he will come around and he will go to treatment. It's never a guarantee but from reading your posts I have a feel for how much love your family has for each other so I see it as only success is possible!!! He might leave that first night but he will come home and you will send him off to the treatment center under an agreed condition that once he goes he must stay and complete the course etc.

    You will get your son back. It may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do and I highly suggest if you have not seen the show you watch it very carefully. It is your chance to save him and I think you can do it..NO I know you can do it. All that love I hear in your posts...He needs you now more than ever before.

    If ever there was a gift that you could give to your son it would be to help him get past this now. Don't let it fester and grow. Help him now...this minute...not "tomorrow", not "later", not after this or that event, NOW...He needs you! You can do this !

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Say this to yourself throughout the day and really believe in what it says/means.

    God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    and The wisdom to know the difference!

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