As the title says...this is my first experience with any sort of forums, and unfortunately i dont know where to turn. You see my wife has been addicted to painkillers (Mainly Lortab) for at least the past 5 years. At least that's when I first realized there was an issue. I remember some seriously strange behavior and emotional outbursts that just didn't seem right at the time. Combined that with the different look in her eyes and I knew it was the pills. Well...years later and umpteen different times trying to quit, go through withdrawals, moodswings, and having the whole house in dissarray...here we are again! We have two small children together, and two other 12 year olds from previous. With four kids in the house, me working as much as i can to pay the bills, I know it cant be easy or maybe impossible for her to get through any length of time clean before she's ready to explode. That time frame is usually about two to three days after she says she has quit. I never know what to truly believe because of all the lies, sneakyness, and doctor hopping. Over the years she has had a million reasons why she has needed the pills. Some legit...and I'm sure most of them just a product of the addiction. It has been a big roller coaster ride with more downs than ups! I'm tired of even having a conversation about it when it continually takes time away from our children. there have been so many times when the kids are waiting for us to do something fun, just to have us behind closed doors in another drawn out discussion on this issue! I'm not doing it anymore!!! It's always when I catch her lying and then the first initial day or two after that my wife seems really convinced of her problem problem and admits she needs help. After that she becomes very volitale and wants to blame everything and everybody (mainly me) for her unhappiness! I know she need help I can't give her. I know she needs some sort of group counseling or rehab, or both. She knows it too...but it always ends up with her finding reasons not to go. Wtih that said ... she has already been to a 5 day cleanout center about two years ago. She lost her sister last year to similar problems and that hasn't shaken her enough! Nothing ever seems to work and last. I'm willing to do anything...including leaving if that's what it takes. I'm nervous every time she takes the kids somewhere that it might be the day she has some sort of real problem and then I would never forgive myself. My family is my whole world. I fell like some women must feel... when they live with an abusive husband. You keep telling yourself that things are OK or will get better, and then they get worse! Please give me any advise you have,and thank you for taking the time to read this.