[caz007]

I am on Day 4 of being off Hydrocodone 10/325, took 6-8 a day for almost 2 yrs........I thought it would get better as the days went by but it is getting worse....I still cannot sleep, eat or function.........I think the worst part is the fatigue....it takes every ounce of energy to get to the bathroom which I'm in every 10 minutes!!! Should I consider a rehab? is this dangerous? are they expensive? I am so confused and scared....I have 2 small children that I am neglecting because I can't get out of bed long enough to make them a meal....help me please....I want this ******************** out of my system for good but I don't want to ruin everything around me. Shouldn't I have felt a little better by now? some energy? I'm about to give up, I would rather die than feel this misery....anyone with any words please help.

[nixon]

I am on Day 4 of being off Hydrocodone 10/325, took 6-8 a day for almost 2 yrs........I thought it would get better as the days went by but it is getting worse....I still cannot sleep, eat or function.........I think the worst part is the fatigue....it takes every ounce of energy to get to the bathroom which I'm in every 10 minutes!!! Should I consider a rehab? is this dangerous? are they expensive? I am so confused and scared....I have 2 small children that I am neglecting because I can't get out of bed long enough to make them a meal....help me please....I want this ******************** out of my system for good but I don't want to ruin everything around me. Shouldn't I have felt a little better by now? some energy? I'm about to give up, I would rather die than feel this misery....anyone with any words please help.

I don't have children, but I've often wondered how I would cope with such a task while going through withdrawal. Would I do nothing, or would I realize the importance of the matter. I'd probably do nothing.

As terrible as that sounds, you cannot neglect your children. Take your pain out on yourself, not them. You're going to be ok. From what it sounds like, you weren't on THAT high of a dose, so beleive it or not, you're getting pretty close to the end of the 'horrible' part of withdrawal i.e. the physical and emotional agony. Each day will begin to get a tiny tiny bit easier. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but soon. You should look forward to that day. It WILL come. Whatever you do, do not resort to the pills. If you speak to a number of members in here, you'll notice that many of them carried their addictions to unimaginable heights, destroying relationships and their lives in general. They were on much higher doses, and for a much longer period of time. The biggest mistake any of them ever made was to relapse. Once you relapse, it gets harder and harder each time you come off of them.

If you feel up to it, talk to a specialist about a drug called suboxen. You may or may not be a candidate for it, but it takes away all of the withdrawal symptoms. And you're in luck too - because your (relatively) low dosage will probably allow you to be on the suboxen temporarily and then come off of it. Others just trade in their addiction for that instead, which is still better than the PKs.

Hang in there. You've got 4 days under your belt, 4 of the hardest days you'll experience. Don't loose hope, especially not now. Do it for your children. They need you.

[pdxRx]

I am on Day 4 of being off Hydrocodone 10/325, took 6-8 a day for almost 2 yrs........I thought it would get better as the days went by but it is getting worse....I still cannot sleep, eat or function.........I think the worst part is the fatigue....it takes every ounce of energy to get to the bathroom which I'm in every 10 minutes!!! Should I consider a rehab? is this dangerous? are they expensive? I am so confused and scared....I have 2 small children that I am neglecting because I can't get out of bed long enough to make them a meal....help me please....I want this ******************** out of my system for good but I don't want to ruin everything around me. Shouldn't I have felt a little better by now? some energy? I'm about to give up, I would rather die than feel this misery....anyone with any words please help.

I know exactly what you are going through, I took about the same dosage for the same time period and coming off then really sucks. But let me tell you that it is possible and it does get better. You need to take thing one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Don't get to caught up in what will happen in the future. In my opinion you should starting feeling a little better each day very soon. At least physically, emotionally this may be another hurdle for you.

Its important that you are taking care of yourself. Get yourself some over the counter pain relievers (tylenol or whatever), get some imodium if you are having stomach problems. Drink lots and lots of fluids, water, gatorade, fruit juice. Make yourself eat something however minor. Your body needs fuel especially when it is sick.

Can you get a relative or a close freind to come help you from time to time with the children. What you are trying to do is tremendously hard and you should not be scared to asked your loved ones for help! It could be the difference between success the first time around or having to go through this again in the future.

It sounds like you are going through all the normal W/D symptoms. Hot/cold flashes, nausea, diarhea, insomnia, depression, aches and pains, extreme fatigue. Believe me these are all normal things for you body to go through after several years of opioid dependence. The good thing is that in general it is not life threatening. But it sure feels like it!!!. Drink lots of fluids, get some food in your body, and take imodium to help you keep it there. LOL it is awful. Take as many hot baths and showers as you can between child care this will help your aching body alot.

Please keep coming back, lots of people will have very positive things to say to support you. Come over to the Painkillers addiction thread in the Featured Conditions section. There is lots of knowledge and support there for you.

YOu can Do this, for yourself! for you kids!

One day at a Time!

[chefgirl]

Hi help meee,

I can relate completly to how you feel as I went thru the same thing bakc in December..I detoxed myself and it was literally the worst thing I had ever been thru and while lying on the my bathroom floor at 3am because I could not sleep and could not leave the bathroom I made promises with myself and god that I would never put another pill in my mouth. After a few weeks of my body getting back to normal I felt so good....I was going to the gym everyday, reconnecting with people I had isolated myself from and getting my life back....I could not believe how I had let drugs control my life and how much time and energy I spent trying to figure out how to get them.....but over the past few weeks I have been dealing with some pretty bad stuff and I relapsed and began using again....and now I feel I did it all for nothing...I have not gotten back to amount that I was using before I quit but have used when I start having panic attacks about things.....I have now contacted people trying to get a sponser and go to meetings which I should of done from the beginning...so I guess my point is...don't think that once you have detoxed everything will be normal....do everything to continue your recovery. One thing I have found out that this is a disease and you cannot do it on your own...for what ever reason you started taking them in the first place it will always be a struggle....I still have a hard time believing I am so dependent on something to make me feel good and that I am not able to cope with bad things in my life without them...

Again just be patient with the w/d process..it takes your body time to get it all out of your system...all the previous advice is right on. I would try to get some help with your kids especially if they don't know... you can't hide it and that is way too much to take on. I remember how great I felt and wished I had not gone back. I have found this forum to be very helpful so keep checking in......and as I keeping saying to myself "take it one day at a time" ....

Oh another thing....since you probably are not sleeping all that much..a movie I watched during my process was "28 days" with Sandra Bullock...where she is in rehab for alcohol addiction and it was kinda uplifting and very real....I thought...

Good Luck

[caz007]

Thank you ALL sooo much for your words of encouragement and knowledge...I know that so many people have been through this and made it, it just seems impossible at the time. I went for a drive today and sang to the radio, just thinking of good things...that really helped take my mind off my aches and emotions....Funny thing, as I returned home, a UPS ticket at my door for my refill had come, will be back tomorrow.......terrified of it. Will try not to be here, I do not trust myself. I told my mother and she will help me with my kids, thank God. Another night is approaching and I get depressed, knowing I will be up all alone until morning......sleep aids just do not work at this point. I keep thinking tomorrow will be day 5, that seems to be most ppl's magic number, hope it is mine. Will keep you posted and thank you all again....sounds corny but you are all saving my life.

[caz007]

I'm alive!! I actually slept last night....woke up and was able to get out of bed and feel again. I don't think I am totally there but I do feel hope, something that has not been in my mind as of yet.
My question is...although I am ridding my body of this aweful drug, and hopefully it stays gone....if I take a pill, say, in a month, is it going to bring me back to stage one????
I still suffer from chronic migranes and will take everything except a narcotic, but just in case it's unbearable, will taking just one ruin all I have gone through?
Any advice will help...thanks

[mpvt]

Usually addicts in recovery have to stay away from opiate or they could face a relapse.In your case it's a little different seeing that you have acute pain.You will have to really show your will power when faced with a migrane.If you have a day were you need to take an opiate for the pain then try not to take anymore until the next attack.If you can do that then you may be able to get away with it but remember you're setting yourself up for potential relapse so be very aware when you do take that opiate.Good luck.....Dave

[chefgirl]

I am so glad to hear you made it thru the 5 day mark..I know at the time it seems it will never end and it is the most miserable feeling, especially when you are not being able to sleep and not dwell on it....it will take your body some time to readjust. I felt so weak for about 2 weeks and my stomach was a wreck so just try to eat really bland types of foods...getting out is the best thing you can do. I remember walking to get my mail was a huge ordeal yet I felt I accomplished so much. I am not sure where you are but I know the warmer weather helps my mental state a ton.

As far as taking one...be careful....I don't know much about meds for migraines but there has to be something out there that is not a narcotic....but if you take something you are just running the risk of "stirring" up the urges and addiction..I know I recently relapsed after I swore to myself I would never put another pill in my mouth...I have not resorted back to the amount or frequency but I crave them really bad. I remember reading on this forum when I was going thru the w/d a lady saying she had quit but just wanted to see if she could handle taking one and she relapsed, so it is just a really touchy situation. I would talk with your doctor or look online to see if you have any options. I am so paranoid now of something happening where I have to have pain medicine and being scared to death to take it. Its just like an alchoholic cannot just have 1 beer..but I know you are in a different type of situation....

Again I am happy you survived the horrible 5 days....just take care of yourself and realize that it is something you will continue to have to work on......

Chefgirl

[caz007]

Hi all, well, today is Day8 and I am feeling wonderful....I was up at 7am, something I havn't done on weekends in a cpl yrs....I feel so full of energy and and ready for anything....I have no desire to put a pill in my mouth! Thank you to everyone that gave support and advice along my way, it is well appreciated. I lost about 13 lbs last week but I feel good. I still cannot eat that much just yet but I'm sure that will resume as well. To anyone considering going off these horrible things I say just do it! Yes, the first 4 full days sucks but after that your life starts fresh again...I did it and I have another chance at life....because I was not living, getting up taking pills only to feel good for a few hours then get tired have to sleep, wake up and more pills....what a horrible cycle......never again!!! All the members here kept me confident and strong and without you I may have failed. Thank you again, and my children thank you!!

[Rastopop]

[QUOTE question is...although I am ridding my body of this aweful drug, and hopefully it stays gone....if I take a pill, say, in a month, is it going to bring me back to stage one????
I still suffer from chronic migranes and will take everything except a narcotic, but just in case it's unbearable, will taking just one ruin all I have gone through?
Any advice will help...thanks[/QUOTE]

I know where you're coming from with the migraines, as I get them myself. Not chronic, though. That's rather scary.

But, there are a few things to consider...

First, without even talking about opioids (I'll get to that in a second), there are so many other treatments for migraines now that you're doing yourself a disservice not seeing a specialist. I have no idea what you're spending on Vicodin. If you're getting it from your doctor, then you probably have insurance. If you have insurance, then you could probably see a migraine specialist (you typically have to be properly referred for insurance to cover - not always the case, but talk to your doctor). If you *aren't* getting the pills from your doctor, as I imagine is the case since most docs wouldn't prescribe Vicodin for migraines, wouldn't feel comfortable doing it for *years* on end (perhaps acutely, but not for maintenance), and *should* have sent you to a specialist a long time ago. Running with this assumption, you've probably spent a lot of dough on pills, so there's no reason you couldn't go for the specialist and one of the other meds. Opioids are a terrible solution anyway - they'll kill the pain, but won't do anything for the condition. You either want to stop migraines before they start (beta blockers/calcium channel blockers are given for this) or you want to take one of the many new fancy purpose-built drugs to deal with them when they arrive. It isn't just about pain control - it's also about minimizing the risk of migraines. Incidence of other neurological conditions (not especially pleasant ones, either) is much higher in those of us with migraines. The best solution is to not get them in the first place, which is what a specialist would work with you to do.

Now, if it turns out you already have gone to a specialist and tried the usual things, then I'll apologize and move onto the next point (hey - want to be thorough)

Hydrocodone is a short acting opioid. It was out of your system days before you started to feel better (that's why it's an "every 4-6 hours" drug). Withdrawals have nothing at all to do with the presence of the drug in your system, or any accumulated somethingorothers. It's just the adjustments your body has made to the presence of opioids. Things change up in your head. It sucks, but there you go.

It can take a long time for your brain to get back to a more or less normal state. A month isn't at all good enough.

It probably won't kill you to take one of the pills for pain, but ask yourself if that's really why you're doing it. I don't know you, and I don't know what kind of pain you're in, so I won't judge, but I do know that *I* would have gone to great lengths to have come up with a reason to take something. If you feel comfortable that you'd just be taking them for the pain and not just for kicks, then... well, it's your choice. Again, I'd push for the specialist route, but we all live our own lives here.

If you want to be able to go back to taking hydrocodone safely for acute treatment of your migraines, then you probably can. It's the "chronic" thing I wonder about. By chronic, do you mean you're having them everyday? Because that's one thing. I don't know how "chronic" migraines are diagnosed, and since the word chronic doesn't impart any specific time period, it's really hard to say.

There are people in here who will argue night and day that you can never go back and take another pill without becoming a full-blown addict, but it's really an individual thing. People are quite varied - such that no person in here could decide for you whether it's OK or not. Some people can hop on and off opioids without much of a problem. Other people can't.

Also, you're probably much more likely to meet people in here with serious problems than not. If you didn't have a serious problem, would you come and post to a forum like this? Maybe. Probably not.

You have to make the choice yourself, but, again, you'll need to make sure your reasons really are what you're telling yourself they are. I don't mean to doubt your word - I don't know you - but in my own experience, it's pretty easy to reason with your own brain when it comes to feeding it little pilly euphorias...