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Help to get off Vicodin
  1. #1
    MissMelissa23 is offline New Member
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    Default Help to get off Vicodin

    Hi, I am very new to this so am not quite sure what to say. But here goes.. I am highly addicted to hydro i love the stuff it give me such great pleasure. But on the other hand I don't like it. It makes me an evil person and so grumpy all the time. But when the pill wears off i want more and more. I would probably overdoes if my husband would let me have them all. Lately i have not been wanting to take them. I know this don't sound like much but I take 5 10mg vikes a day. How should I detox? i have gone cold turkey before but don't want to do that this time. Thank you ahead of time!

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMelissa23 View Post
    Hi, I am very new to this so am not quite sure what to say. But here goes.. I am highly addicted to hydro i love the stuff it give me such great pleasure. But on the other hand I don't like it. It makes me an evil person and so grumpy all the time. But when the pill wears off i want more and more. I would probably overdoes if my husband would let me have them all. Lately i have not been wanting to take them. I know this don't sound like much but I take 5 10mg vikes a day. How should I detox? i have gone cold turkey before but don't want to do that this time. Thank you ahead of time!


    Melissa ... You have a few choices. There is cold turkey, there is what is called the Thomas Recipe, there is subutex/suboxone. No more than what you are taking I would either cold turkey or do the Thomas Recipe. But you have to decide that this is what you really want. It sounds like you haven't really made up your mind that you WANT this. I mean none of us want to cold turkey. It sucks. Sounds like you have reservations. Are you doing this because you need to please people like your husband or are you really ready to do what it takes to stay clean? Detoxing is simple. Staying clean is an entirely different thing. We can help you with the detox but there is lot more to this than just a detox. Please don't take what I am saying the wrong way. I am not judging you. Just trying to point out what seems kind of obvious to me. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes including a cold turkey if that gets us clean. Will be looking for your reply. God bless.

  3. #3
    MissMelissa23 is offline New Member
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    Ok well I am kind of haveing reservations about quitting. The real reason I want to is because I just don't like the weird things it is doing to my body. I am really scared of having liver damage or failure. I also because of these pills developed Anxiety which took over my life for a few months. I have two very small children and want to live as long as possible. I just have so much to do that I dont want to go cold turkey because i won't be able to care for them when I am sick.

    Don't worry I have seen your replies a lot here Robert and anything you say I wont take the wrong way. You seem to know what you are talking about.

    My husband is just looking out for my safety. Thanks for replying!

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMelissa23 View Post
    Ok well I am kind of haveing reservations about quitting. The real reason I want to is because I just don't like the weird things it is doing to my body. I am really scared of having liver damage or failure. I also because of these pills developed Anxiety which took over my life for a few months. I have two very small children and want to live as long as possible. I just have so much to do that I dont want to go cold turkey because i won't be able to care for them when I am sick.

    Don't worry I have seen your replies a lot here Robert and anything you say I wont take the wrong way. You seem to know what you are talking about.

    My husband is just looking out for my safety. Thanks for replying!


    Melissa .. you have every reason in the world to stop this craziness. Your health concerns are valid. These pills are garbage for our bodies especially the liver. Your babies need their mom back. That is the main thing.

    Look over on the NEED TO TALK forum. There is a new thread there that was just started titled Thomas Recipe Needed. This is a tried and proven method to detox with minimal symptoms. If you don't do a cold turkey this is the best way I know to do this. Let me know what else I can do. If you decide to begin the Thomas Recipe we will be here to help you. God bless.

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    MissMelissa23 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Melissa .. you have every reason in the world to stop this craziness. Your health concerns are valid. These pills are garbage for our bodies especially the liver. Your babies need their mom back. That is the main thing.

    Look over on the NEED TO TALK forum. There is a new thread there that was just started titled Thomas Recipe Needed. This is a tried and proven method to detox with minimal symptoms. If you don't do a cold turkey this is the best way I know to do this. Let me know what else I can do. If you decide to begin the Thomas Recipe we will be here to help you. God bless.
    Ok this is my plan I am going to taper for a few days then stop completely. WD have never been that bad for me so i am not scared of that. Its just the mental thoughts afterward. I am so glad i have found this forum it's going to be something I need in the weeks to come. Thanks!

  6. #6
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    Hi Melissa
    Im 3 weeks clean,I did the taper and then quit.I really excited for you,
    let me know if i can help...

  7. #7
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default I know I am addicted, please help!

    Hi Everyone, I am new to this form. Funny to say, but even though I have not and will not meet any of you in person, but I am addicted to Vicodin I know that I do not take as much as some users do, which is only 5-6 per day of 750's or 500's, whichever ones I have at the time, but the problem is that I need them or shall I say want them everyday. I have to have one first thing in the morning to get me going, then a half of one a little bit after that, then one when I leave work and 2 to 3 when it's getting close to bed time. I have it all scheduled out, like it is part of a routine, like brushing my teeth. It began when my dentist gave me valium for a jaw issue (TMJ), 10mg of valium before bedtime, I did this for 1 1/2 years. I was so naive that after my prescription was out I thought to just stop taking it. I had no idea that I my body was physically addicted to it, OMG that was when all my aches and pains and total hell begun! The withdrawal from that was the most terrible episode I have ever been through in my life. I literally thought I was going to die, the anxiety, the pains were the worst. So I was then given vicodin to help with the pain, so I basically went from one drug to another. Now I am dealing with the fear of having to come off of this! Yes, I do love how this drug makes me feel ~ I can't believe I am writing this, but at the same time it feels healing in a way. I could never tell my husband or any of my friends, I live with this secret and it's time to stop. I am so afraid of withdrawing from it CT, will my body freak out? Could I have convulsions? I have so many questions but no one to turn to. Is it easier to come off of it slowly or is that just a waste of time and you eventually go back on it. I need to stop this, I have a beautiful family and I know that this has taken control over me and not the other way around...even though it is only a few a day, it's 1 more than I need period. If there is anyone out there who has any advice to help me come off of this please respond with words of hope, truth and encouragement!!!
    I pray for God to help me because I know that I am not strong enough to do this on my own. I am helpless and not in control...He is.
    Thank you for listening to my story, as I am sure many of you have heard before.....
    Lily-B

  8. #8
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    Hi Lily-b
    Well girlfriend we are going to get along just fine.LOL I was addicted to vicodin, oxycontin, klonopin.
    If you ask me you have gotten through the hardest part,and that was getting off the Valium, when i stopped taking my klonopin, I had panic attacks for a few months.never want to do that again...
    You are going to be fine.If you want to taper down,Its not a waist of time but it will just stretch it out longer,just start taking less every day,and take than farther apart.or you could just flush them and tell everyone you have a very bad flu.That is what your going to feel like for about 4 or 5 days.then it would be over...please let us know what you decide to do,so we can help you through this,
    Talk to you soon,Melinda

  9. #9
    lyds is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lily-b View Post
    Hi Everyone, I am new to this form. Funny to say, but even though I have not and will not meet any of you in person, but I am addicted to Vicodin I know that I do not take as much as some users do, which is only 5-6 per day of 750's or 500's, whichever ones I have at the time, but the problem is that I need them or shall I say want them everyday. I have to have one first thing in the morning to get me going, then a half of one a little bit after that, then one when I leave work and 2 to 3 when it's getting close to bed time. I have it all scheduled out, like it is part of a routine, like brushing my teeth. It began when my dentist gave me valium for a jaw issue (TMJ), 10mg of valium before bedtime, I did this for 1 1/2 years. I was so naive that after my prescription was out I thought to just stop taking it. I had no idea that I my body was physically addicted to it, OMG that was when all my aches and pains and total hell begun! The withdrawal from that was the most terrible episode I have ever been through in my life. I literally thought I was going to die, the anxiety, the pains were the worst. So I was then given vicodin to help with the pain, so I basically went from one drug to another. Now I am dealing with the fear of having to come off of this! Yes, I do love how this drug makes me feel ~ I can't believe I am writing this, but at the same time it feels healing in a way. I could never tell my husband or any of my friends, I live with this secret and it's time to stop. I am so afraid of withdrawing from it CT, will my body freak out? Could I have convulsions? I have so many questions but no one to turn to. Is it easier to come off of it slowly or is that just a waste of time and you eventually go back on it. I need to stop this, I have a beautiful family and I know that this has taken control over me and not the other way around...even though it is only a few a day, it's 1 more than I need period. If there is anyone out there who has any advice to help me come off of this please respond with words of hope, truth and encouragement!!!
    I pray for God to help me because I know that I am not strong enough to do this on my own. I am helpless and not in control...He is.
    Thank you for listening to my story, as I am sure many of you have heard before.....
    Lily-B
    Your post took me back. I was addicted to MS-Contin. Wicked stuff, let me tell you. Anyhoo, I remember how my addiction ruled me. I planned everything around my pills. Nuts. I think that is one of the things I like the most about being clean. I don't have to count out pills and start to freak out when I realize I've taken a little too many and if I don't start a taper I'll be out before my next refill. Ugh. How I hated that.

    I am not a doctor but I don't think you'll deal with convulsions on such a low dosage.

    Getting clean is hard. As Robert said, the detox, while painful, is the easy part. Keeping clean is the hardest thing you'll do. BUT, you can do it. Once you get passed the worst of it every day is a little bit better. I'll never forget the first day I didn't even think about pills until the end of the day. And, even then I thought about them in the whole "Hey! I didn't think about pills today" way. It feels so great.

    It's been awhile since I've been here and I don't make it over as often as I would like, but this board was very key in my recovery. Lean on the good people here. They want to help.
    Clean Date: 1-20-07

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by lyds View Post
    Your post took me back. I was addicted to MS-Contin. Wicked stuff, let me tell you. Anyhoo, I remember how my addiction ruled me. I planned everything around my pills. Nuts. I think that is one of the things I like the most about being clean. I don't have to count out pills and start to freak out when I realize I've taken a little too many and if I don't start a taper I'll be out before my next refill. Ugh. How I hated that.

    I am not a doctor but I don't think you'll deal with convulsions on such a low dosage.

    Getting clean is hard. As Robert said, the detox, while painful, is the easy part. Keeping clean is the hardest thing you'll do. BUT, you can do it. Once you get passed the worst of it every day is a little bit better. I'll never forget the first day I didn't even think about pills until the end of the day. And, even then I thought about them in the whole "Hey! I didn't think about pills today" way. It feels so great.

    It's been awhile since I've been here and I don't make it over as often as I would like, but this board was very key in my recovery. Lean on the good people here. They want to help.



    lyds ... it's good to see you posting again. I haven't noticed you on the forum in some time. I remember about 8 months ago or so when there was an ongoing battle on the forum about this being nothing more than "informative entertainment" I believe was the way that one of the members described this forum. You got rather annoyed. I did too. It was you and Vduda arguing with one of the ladies about the value of the forum. Remember that one??? Anyway I hope that you will stick around and share some of your experience. I like seeing people here who have something to say. God bless.

  11. #11
    lyds is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    lyds ... it's good to see you posting again. I haven't noticed you on the forum in some time. I remember about 8 months ago or so when there was an ongoing battle on the forum about this being nothing more than "informative entertainment" I believe was the way that one of the members described this forum. You got rather annoyed. I did too. It was you and Vduda arguing with one of the ladies about the value of the forum. Remember that one??? Anyway I hope that you will stick around and share some of your experience. I like seeing people here who have something to say. God bless.
    Oh my gosh, Robert! I kind of shoved that "episode" to the back of my brain. But, oh yeah, I remember. I thought the term "informative entertainment" was so totally off-putting. Informative? Yep. But, entertainment? Some of us saw this board as a lifeline. NA meetings are awesome and key, but having the same type of support online is key, too!

    Anyway, thanks for remembering me. I will try and be more available to the folks that might be helped by my experience, though I will say, you and Melinda have done an excellent job at that! God bless right back at you! Without Him, I'd be a failure at this!
    Clean Date: 1-20-07

  12. #12
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default Hi Melinda7.5

    Wow, I feel free being able to talk about this openly and not be ashamed of my addiction. I don't know how it happened, but it did! Crazy thing is that I do plan my day around these freaking pills. I know I don't take as many as some ppl do, like 30 a day, but I do know that no matter how many I take, I do need them on a daily basis. I was ready to just stop taking them last week, then I panicked. It's like I don't know how I am going to function without them. it's like they OWN me I started to freak thinking that I was not going to take them, is it that I am not strong enough or ready yet? I was in therapy but never dug into that issue much. I was ashamed to tell my therapist, at one point she advised me to seek treatment with an addiction group, well how am I going to explain that to my husband, plus I can't go anywhere in town, don't want to see anyone I might know...is that normal to feel this way? I do know that I take them when I am really stressed out, or very depressed. It helps me deal with it better some how. I am not a drinker, do not like alcohol ~ but I do know that an addiction is an addiction no matter which drug we choose to take to help ease the pain. So I know that my addiction is not only physical, but emotional as well. I never in a million years thought that I would ever be in this type of predicament, and it sucks. I pray so hard and ask for God to give me the strength to fight it, but I find myself saying "ok, tomorrow I will" then tomorrow comes and goes and I am still in the same boat. What is wrong with me? Yes I am afraid of the withdrawal symptoms, but I can't use that as the entire excuse, I am afraid of living and dealing with life without them! That is the bottom line. Isn't that what drugs do when they have taken control of us and not the other way around? Is there something that I can take to help ease the obsessive thinking of taking it? Something that will help take my mind off of it? I know I have so many questions, but this is all new to me, with me opening up to all of you. It's like in the morning, I have a routine: wake up, wash my face, make coffee then take a 750mg, after it kicks in I have a cigarette with my coffee...it's as if they were meant to all go together. Then a little bit later I will take a 1/2 of one. Then I am good to go! How sick is that? It's a routine that I have been doing for 3 years, I am so tired of it...and yet am so weak (not being able to stop this madness) at the same time. I hope I don't seem like a cry baby to any of you, just sharing my feelings as openly as I can.
    Thank you for listening.
    Lily-B

  13. #13
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    Hi lily-b
    I know what you mean being able to talk about you addiction. When i found this site it was a gift from god,that is the only way to explain it.
    I don't think any of us thought we would get addicted to the drugs we were taking.It just kind of sneaks up on you.
    I planed my day around taking pills to, I would count them to make sure I had enough to last me.and I never did.LOL
    It was such a nightmare,I finally got sick of it and I slowly tapered down and was able to quit,But I got allot of power from this forum,and the people here.
    I understand how you feel about going to the meetings,I felt the same way in the beginning,but I just went to my first one the other day.It was really kind of fun.I to was scared someone would see me.but I got over it...
    I think it is allot easier to stop the pain pills over the benzos,OMG,that was so hard...
    I didn't think I could cope in this world without my pills either,But let me tell you life is so much better without them,your soul just comes back to life and you feel hole again.
    Start telling yourself today I'm going to do better not tomorrow, TODAY...
    and everyday you get up,tell yourself,I will do better today than I did yestarday...loard give me the strenght I need to make it today.that is what I did,you can do this we just need to make a plan that you can stick to.
    This is a good place to share your feelings and don't ever feel like you are being a crybaby,we need to stick together.That is where the power is.
    keep posting and let us know how you are doing,
    Talk to you soon,Melinda

  14. #14
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default lily-b

    We have not had the opportunity to discuss anything yet as you are new. But I just want to say that I always get excited when someone like you who is having problems with addictions or anything else emphasizes in their first post how they are praying to God every day for help. He has never let me down yet. If you truly have faith and aren't just going through the motions with a "mechanical" prayer of desperation we sometimes say when backed into a corner He will not abandon you. He promises that to us. Jesus says, "Ask and you shall receive." That is pretty simple it seems to me. All things are possible through Christ for those with true faith. Doesn't mean He will give us the lottery if we ask but I am confident you understand where I am coming from.

    It's certainly normal to not want others to see us in recovery meetings especially if we are in a town where everyone knows us. There is a lot to be said for anonymity. It's normal that we don't want others to see our weaknesses. But our weaknesses can be transformed into our strengths. You are doing this for your growth. Try to not worry about how others perceive you. We only have to answer to God to ourself and to our significant other if we have one. Your recovery should only improve you personal relationships and your relationship with God.

    Keep posting as when we share about our problems instead of keeping them inside it takes away some of the power the problems have on us. They become something suddenly that we are not hiding anymore. It's really a miraculous thing how it works. That is a huge benefit of sharing verbally in a recovery meeting. I hope you try some NA meetings and do them regularly. Give them a try for six months. Then make a judgement. You will be amazed at how they enable you deal with so many issues. It would be great if your husband would go to some of them with you. You don't need him there all the time, as you need some privacy even from him. But his understanding will help immensely.

    As I mentioned please continue to post and share about what is happening. We have been there before and can offer lots of suggestions to make this more tolerable. Most important don't use no matter what. God bless.
    Last edited by Robert_325; 11-04-2008 at 10:58 AM.

  15. #15
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default Thank you Robert!

    Reading your words brought tears to my eyes because I know that all you are saying about the Lord is so true. Here's the thing, my husband does not know that I am addicted, not sure what his reaction will be. Probably one of shock because of how well I hide it, I have learned to be "normal" while taking them, at least they all think I am. But internally and mentally I know I am not myself while on them. I have two pills left and that's that. If I needed too, I can call a friend and she will give me some to last. So as of right now, the two pills I have left are the last two I will take. "God please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference", Amen! I pray with all my heart that I will have the strength to beat this, and I know that the strength will have to come from God, for I am to weak to do this on my own. I give it all to Him. But please tell me Robert, is going cold turkey going to make me so sick and maybe have convulsions or anything strange happen to me? I have tried to count, and I do take anywhere from 5 - 7 pills a day, everyday. I know you are not a Dr., but have seen and heard so many stories from others. But I am afraid if I don't do it this way then it will just drag on and on, and I will keep making up excuses...know what I mean? I recently came off of Cymbalta - I am almost 3 months clean from it. That was one hell of an experience. The withdrawal affects were horrible, it took me at least 2 1/2 months to be completely off of it. I know that is a totally different type of drug, but that is where my fear is coming from.

    Thank you so much, to all of you for your gracious support and kindness and for letting me be me, expressing my fears and worries. I know that admitting that I am an addict is the first step to healing.
    Lily-b

  16. #16
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    Hi lily-b
    I just wanted to tell you that I went cold turkey,from my pain pills and its like you have a bad flu for a week or so,you just have to want to stop taking them.
    I have heard about the withdrawals from cymbalta they sound really bad to me,It happened to my friend...YIKES...
    I think you will do fine getting off the other pills...LOL
    Talk to you soon,Melinda

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    kas03 is offline New Member
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    I have been taking 500 mg hydrocodones 2 or 3 times daily for the past few weeks, and I am beginning to feel as though I need them. This is the third prescription I have ever had for it, and each time I love them too much and stop just before it gets too far. I must say though I am beginning to worry about it this time... I have come to realize I am an "all or nothing" person with a very addictive personality... What I mean by this is that if I have them in my possession, I will take them, regardless of whether I need them for pain or not. I have issues with anxiety and my temper, and when I take vicodin I just feel like a happier, calmer person. This is especially a problem for me at work. I wait tables, and I feel like I am happier to be there and give better service when I take them. Also my husband and I have not been getting along lately, and I have been pretty unhappy. But 30 mins after I take my pill I feel like I can cope better and I have a better day...

    Anyway, I have 28 pills left and after those are gone I do not plan on trying to get more... Does anyone know if I will likely experience any withdrawal symptoms? I am taking a relatively small dose, 500 mg usually only twice a day (which is actually what I am prescribed for a foot injury... the thing is though I find myself taking them even when my foot does not hurt...), and the most I ever take in 1 day is 3 pills. I feel kinda stupid asking this because I know everyone is different, but I am just wondering about how long it takes for the physical aspect of addiction to kick in. I am already feeling like I am psychologically addicted...

    Lily-b, good luck with quitting. Your post made me think of my own situation, and while I know our situations are different and you have been taking these pills longer than I have, I could relate to what you said about how they made you feel. I wish you luck and think you should be very proud of yourself for admitting that you are addicted and making the decision that you want to stop.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas03 View Post
    I have been taking 500 mg hydrocodones 2 or 3 times daily for the past few weeks, and I am beginning to feel as though I need them. This is the third prescription I have ever had for it, and each time I love them too much and stop just before it gets too far. I must say though I am beginning to worry about it this time... I have come to realize I am an "all or nothing" person with a very addictive personality... What I mean by this is that if I have them in my possession, I will take them, regardless of whether I need them for pain or not. I have issues with anxiety and my temper, and when I take vicodin I just feel like a happier, calmer person. This is especially a problem for me at work. I wait tables, and I feel like I am happier to be there and give better service when I take them. Also my husband and I have not been getting along lately, and I have been pretty unhappy. But 30 mins after I take my pill I feel like I can cope better and I have a better day...

    Anyway, I have 28 pills left and after those are gone I do not plan on trying to get more... Does anyone know if I will likely experience any withdrawal symptoms? I am taking a relatively small dose, 500 mg usually only twice a day (which is actually what I am prescribed for a foot injury... the thing is though I find myself taking them even when my foot does not hurt...), and the most I ever take in 1 day is 3 pills. I feel kinda stupid asking this because I know everyone is different, but I am just wondering about how long it takes for the physical aspect of addiction to kick in. I am already feeling like I am psychologically addicted...

    Lily-b, good luck with quitting. Your post made me think of my own situation, and while I know our situations are different and you have been taking these pills longer than I have, I could relate to what you said about how they made you feel. I wish you luck and think you should be very proud of yourself for admitting that you are addicted and making the decision that you want to stop.
    Hi kas03
    If I looked back three years ago. that is what I was doing,just letting the drug lure me in...I could work all day then do a second job at night.
    OH,I was miss social...talk ,talk, talk...then in a couple months 1 pill didn't work any more,so I thought oh,,I will just take two....and from then on out it was more and more...till I was chewing up oxys every couple hours,along with my vics...I think I was spending about 2 grand a month on pills...
    this went on for three years...I have my own business and just about ran it into the ground...I finally decided to get clean,so I tapered off my oxy and was just taking vics then I tapered off of them.so if I were you I would start taking 2 a day then I would go to 1 a day for a few days and you should have no problems getting off of them.but trust me.these pills can ruin your life.I have been clean now for three months now and I'm happy and strong again.the effects on drugs are still hanging around me,my husband and I are getting divorced after seven years of marriage,because he still wants to take the drugs that almost distrode me and I don't want to be around them anymore,
    sorry I know you didn't want my life story but I just wanted to show you what these little fun happy pills could do to you...
    keep us posted and let us know how you are. Melinda

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by lily-b View Post
    Reading your words brought tears to my eyes because I know that all you are saying about the Lord is so true. Here's the thing, my husband does not know that I am addicted, not sure what his reaction will be. Probably one of shock because of how well I hide it, I have learned to be "normal" while taking them, at least they all think I am. But internally and mentally I know I am not myself while on them. I have two pills left and that's that. If I needed too, I can call a friend and she will give me some to last. So as of right now, the two pills I have left are the last two I will take. "God please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference", Amen! I pray with all my heart that I will have the strength to beat this, and I know that the strength will have to come from God, for I am to weak to do this on my own. I give it all to Him. But please tell me Robert, is going cold turkey going to make me so sick and maybe have convulsions or anything strange happen to me? I have tried to count, and I do take anywhere from 5 - 7 pills a day, everyday. I know you are not a Dr., but have seen and heard so many stories from others. But I am afraid if I don't do it this way then it will just drag on and on, and I will keep making up excuses...know what I mean? I recently came off of Cymbalta - I am almost 3 months clean from it. That was one hell of an experience. The withdrawal affects were horrible, it took me at least 2 1/2 months to be completely off of it. I know that is a totally different type of drug, but that is where my fear is coming from.

    Thank you so much, to all of you for your gracious support and kindness and for letting me be me, expressing my fears and worries. I know that admitting that I am an addict is the first step to healing.
    Lily-b





    The detox won't be pleasant and you may feel like you want to die but you won't. Just relax. You can taper down if you are really scared and just reduce what you take by a pill every few days, even every week if you have to. Personally I would just flush what I have left and get it over with. You will be sick for 4-5 days and then every day will be better. That is the shortest way to do this. Stay in touch. God bless.

  20. #20
    hkyjon33 is offline Member
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    Default your in my prayers lil

    Heya lil, just thought i would share my story with ya...maybe it might help ya along (i know it helped to see others post i.e. Robert and Mel and Sis thank u guys so much btw) I was addicted to hydro for a while, about 1-2 yrs to be exact. at my worst point i was taking 10-12 750s a day. I made up my mind one day and told myself i REALLY had to quit this time after many failed attempts. It was the hardest thing i have done in my entire life b/c i knew how much i loved em. I was doing the same thing by planning my days around them and vacations. I never wanted to leave to anywhere w/o my supply of pills. But than i found this site and it changed my life. It gave me a way to express my emotions and thoughts with people that KNOW what i am going through b/c they themselfs have been threw it. I would try to talk to my wife and friends (giving little info as possible and using the *i got a friend that....* act) but they didnt understand and just would judge. This site is free of all that judgement and shame witch is y i like it so much(last thing i want is to get a lecture and judgement while withdrawling)...So i started a thread and just let my fingers do the talking. Everyone here was so insiteful and gave me the strength to go through the W/D's and that i something u need b/c this is a trying and emotional experiance. i was sick for 5-7 days but everyday was better than the last. I am a christian as well so i turned to the lord as well for guidence and he gave me the strength i needed as well. Prayer is a strong thing and i know that w/o it, i wouldnt of got threw this. Robert i right, ask and u shall recieve. Also dont let his word fall apon def ears meaning u have to open ure ears, eyes and heart to the lord COMPLETLY. You WILL get threw this. If you have had the flu and survived u can survive this. Thats all it is, a bad flu...try to think of it in that since, that kind of helped me. As Robert said as well...your children need there mother and your husband needs his wife. My wife didnt know that i was withdrawling just like your husband doesnt know u are going to. I used the flu excuse just saying "must be a bad flu". I couldnt handle the judgement and disapointment that i knew it would cause her. Than the guild and shame of keeping something this big was to much and i told her. I was suprized at the way she reacted and she was another HUGE part in my recovery. Im not saying to tell him one way or the other, thats your call but when i took those vows the same as you, i said in sickness or i health, until death do its part and you know what? we are still alive =)
    Anyways, i hope any of this helps u threw and just have faith that tommarow will be better than today. Keep posting, it really helps and if u want to read my post its called Well....here we go (or something to that effect haha) and its in featured conditons. U are in my prayers as well as others on this site. May God bless u and help u threw this time of need.

    P.S. ive been clean for going on 3 months and ive never felt better.. im finaly free of the shakles that were those pills...no more planning out days and doses and that feels SOOOOOO great. YOU CAN DO IT!!! We on this site are all a testamony of that. What doesnt kill u, makes u stronger and by no means is this going to kill u.

  21. #21
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hkyjon33 View Post
    Heya lil, just thought i would share my story with ya...maybe it might help ya along (i know it helped to see others post i.e. Robert and Mel and Sis thank u guys so much btw) I was addicted to hydro for a while, about 1-2 yrs to be exact. at my worst point i was taking 10-12 750s a day. I made up my mind one day and told myself i REALLY had to quit this time after many failed attempts. It was the hardest thing i have done in my entire life b/c i knew how much i loved em. I was doing the same thing by planning my days around them and vacations. I never wanted to leave to anywhere w/o my supply of pills. But than i found this site and it changed my life. It gave me a way to express my emotions and thoughts with people that KNOW what i am going through b/c they themselfs have been threw it. I would try to talk to my wife and friends (giving little info as possible and using the *i got a friend that....* act) but they didnt understand and just would judge. This site is free of all that judgement and shame witch is y i like it so much(last thing i want is to get a lecture and judgement while withdrawling)...So i started a thread and just let my fingers do the talking. Everyone here was so insiteful and gave me the strength to go through the W/D's and that i something u need b/c this is a trying and emotional experiance. i was sick for 5-7 days but everyday was better than the last. I am a christian as well so i turned to the lord as well for guidence and he gave me the strength i needed as well. Prayer is a strong thing and i know that w/o it, i wouldnt of got threw this. Robert i right, ask and u shall recieve. Also dont let his word fall apon def ears meaning u have to open ure ears, eyes and heart to the lord COMPLETLY. You WILL get threw this. If you have had the flu and survived u can survive this. Thats all it is, a bad flu...try to think of it in that since, that kind of helped me. As Robert said as well...your children need there mother and your husband needs his wife. My wife didnt know that i was withdrawling just like your husband doesnt know u are going to. I used the flu excuse just saying "must be a bad flu". I couldnt handle the judgement and disapointment that i knew it would cause her. Than the guild and shame of keeping something this big was to much and i told her. I was suprized at the way she reacted and she was another HUGE part in my recovery. Im not saying to tell him one way or the other, thats your call but when i took those vows the same as you, i said in sickness or i health, until death do its part and you know what? we are still alive =)
    Anyways, i hope any of this helps u threw and just have faith that tommarow will be better than today. Keep posting, it really helps and if u want to read my post its called Well....here we go (or something to that effect haha) and its in featured conditons. U are in my prayers as well as others on this site. May God bless u and help u threw this time of need.

    P.S. ive been clean for going on 3 months and ive never felt better.. im finaly free of the shakles that were those pills...no more planning out days and doses and that feels SOOOOOO great. YOU CAN DO IT!!! We on this site are all a testamony of that. What doesnt kill u, makes u stronger and by no means is this going to kill u.



    Thanks for the post. It's great to see you doing so well. Feels pretty good to have a little time clean and free from the pills doesnt it. I remember how you struggled. Seeing posts like this and so much change in someone's life is why I keep coming here every day. It's amazing what happens when we turn it all over to Him and let it go. God bless.

  22. #22
    kas03 is offline New Member
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    Default

    Hi Melinda, thanks for your reply. I don't mind hearing your life story at all, it actually helps reinforce my concerns and my desire to nip this in the bud before it gets to be too serious of a problem. I am sorry to hear about your husband, and it is unfortunate, but I am glad that you recognize that in order to stay clean you really need to distance yourself from anyone who is not clean. Congratulations on being clean for 3 months!

    My foot isn't even healed completely, and being that I am very active and running around on my feet all day, it is taking forever to heal. I am concerned that I will still be in pain once my pills are gone. But reading all these posts and seeing this behavior in myself (and knowing how addictive my personality has ALWAYS been), I can see that this will be a huge problem if I go back to the doctor to get a refill.

    I know how dangerous these "happy fun pills" are (I like how you described them as that, because that is exactly what they feel like to me), and it is disturbing to me because knowing all that I do I still see myself falling into their trap. I am actually studying psychology in school, and go back and forth between wanting to work with either children or people with drug addictions (I haven't decided yet), but regardless of where I end up working, the way addictions work fascinate me, and at the same time it drives me crazy that it could happen to me.

    As I said before, I like myself better when I am on these pills. When I am at work and I start to get irritated and wish I could just go home, I take a pill and I am feeling happier and more social shortly after. My daughter is almost 5 years old, and when I am on Vicodin I am so much more patient and playful with her. Even with my husband, who as I said has been getting on my last nerve lately and our relationship has been on the rocks for some time now, if I am on vicodin I am much more relaxed and less confrontational with him. I also take have Ativan for when I am too stressed out (I was given a prescription for that for panic attacks I was having a couple years ago, but take them very rarely and have not had a problem with panic attacks in a year now), and while Ativan does calm me down if I am too nervous or anxious, the feeling I get is so different and so much less satisfying than the one I get from Vicodin.

    Anyway sorry this post is so long... it really is therapeutic for me to write all this out. I have people to talk to but no one that I really tell the whole story to as I am right now. Thanks for the advice about how to get off of them with no problem. I will continue to take them twice a day until I am down to a few pills and then take them once a day til they are gone, so I do not expect the physical withdrawal will be a problem based on what I have read... I just hope the psychological craving that I am sure I will have is not too severe!!

  23. #23
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Hey...HKY...where you been ?????

    Quote Originally Posted by hkyjon33 View Post
    Heya lil, just thought i would share my story with ya...maybe it might help ya along (i know it helped to see others post i.e. Robert and Mel and Sis thank u guys so much btw) I was addicted to hydro for a while, about 1-2 yrs to be exact. at my worst point i was taking 10-12 750s a day. I made up my mind one day and told myself i REALLY had to quit this time after many failed attempts. It was the hardest thing i have done in my entire life b/c i knew how much i loved em. I was doing the same thing by planning my days around them and vacations. I never wanted to leave to anywhere w/o my supply of pills. But than i found this site and it changed my life. It gave me a way to express my emotions and thoughts with people that KNOW what i am going through b/c they themselfs have been threw it. I would try to talk to my wife and friends (giving little info as possible and using the *i got a friend that....* act) but they didnt understand and just would judge. This site is free of all that judgement and shame witch is y i like it so much(last thing i want is to get a lecture and judgement while withdrawling)...So i started a thread and just let my fingers do the talking. Everyone here was so insiteful and gave me the strength to go through the W/D's and that i something u need b/c this is a trying and emotional experiance. i was sick for 5-7 days but everyday was better than the last. I am a christian as well so i turned to the lord as well for guidence and he gave me the strength i needed as well. Prayer is a strong thing and i know that w/o it, i wouldnt of got threw this. Robert i right, ask and u shall recieve. Also dont let his word fall apon def ears meaning u have to open ure ears, eyes and heart to the lord COMPLETLY. You WILL get threw this. If you have had the flu and survived u can survive this. Thats all it is, a bad flu...try to think of it in that since, that kind of helped me. As Robert said as well...your children need there mother and your husband needs his wife. My wife didnt know that i was withdrawling just like your husband doesnt know u are going to. I used the flu excuse just saying "must be a bad flu". I couldnt handle the judgement and disapointment that i knew it would cause her. Than the guild and shame of keeping something this big was to much and i told her. I was suprized at the way she reacted and she was another HUGE part in my recovery. Im not saying to tell him one way or the other, thats your call but when i took those vows the same as you, i said in sickness or i health, until death do its part and you know what? we are still alive =)
    Anyways, i hope any of this helps u threw and just have faith that tommarow will be better than today. Keep posting, it really helps and if u want to read my post its called Well....here we go (or something to that effect haha) and its in featured conditons. U are in my prayers as well as others on this site. May God bless u and help u threw this time of need.

    P.S. ive been clean for going on 3 months and ive never felt better.. im finaly free of the shakles that were those pills...no more planning out days and doses and that feels SOOOOOO great. YOU CAN DO IT!!! We on this site are all a testamony of that. What doesnt kill u, makes u stronger and by no means is this going to kill u.
    Hey....hky
    I have been thinking about you!!! how in the heck are you dude....
    Stop in and say hi a little more....
    Talk to you soon,Melinda

  24. #24
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default Thank you Everyone....

    I want to thank each and everyone of you for your input and great words of wisdom and advice. I know that we each have our own unique story, but no matter how they differ, we somehow ended up in the same boat...a sinking one if I may. Some of you seem so much stronger though and much better swimmers, well that is how I am feeling at this point.

    I have so much emotional baggage that I have been carrying these past few years, hence the addiction. It seemed to help me get through it, which in reality it never did, it only helped me stuff it even further down so that I was unable to feel the pain of it all. It is something very personal, but no matter what the problem is, I know I have not dealt with it completely. Well how could I when I had something to mask my pain. I guess one of my fears is that when I stop my addiction, the pain will overcome me, plus all of the other fun stuff that follows when one goes cold turkey! I know it sounds as if I am making one excuse after another. Why, well I think because I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown, and afraid of how I will react being free of a drug.

    When I was taking valium for my TMJ, I was so naive and didn't know that I was physically and emotionally addicted to the stuff, I took it at night every night for 1 1/2 years, then went off cold turkey, OMG was that some serious stuff...thought I was literally going over the edge. Then my Dr. prescribed Klonopin, which I am still on and hopefully once off of the Vicodin I can ease off of the Klonopin. I have so much to do, including on working on ME. What's so funny to me is that when I think of an addict I think of someone on the streets, someone who has nothing, someone who is at the bottom, not someone like me, who has a beautiful home, nice cars, nice clothes, etc. But in reality, none of that even matters to me. It's hard for me to explain how I feel, I guess that is why I am here trying to talk to all of you. No one in a million years would expect me to say "I am an addict". I would shock them all. I am a prisoner by choice, a choice that snuck up on me and took over.

    At this time I think the best way for me to come off of it is to do it slowly, with the fears that I have from my past withdrawal symptoms of Valium and Cymbalta, it has brought me to that choice. I will leave the pills at home, that way I cannot take them anytime during the day. Then once I am use to not having them during the day, then it will seem easier to stop the morning routine, then lead me to stop the night-time routine. I know that most of you are probably thinking that this is not going to work. I guess one of my fears too is what do I do when I feel the need to take one, what do I do with that obsession, the need? Do I read a book, take a walk, what? You know how that feels, don't you? What did you do? I know that Prayer will be the biggest part of this, it will probably be my only choice in this. God will be with me the entire time. I am just really confused right now, feeling really down, not knowing if this is the right thing to do, or just quit cold turkey and go through the pain and flu like symptoms. My gosh, this is some crazy stuff, which has taken over me. I hate it, I hate it. A big part of me wishes I would come down with a horrible flu that would keep me from even wanting to take the Vicodin, then I have a reason that will help me stop without me even having to think of it. I know that sounds silly, but when one is desperate I guess you start thinking of all kinds of ways to kick this horrible habit.

    Lily-B

  25. #25
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default Lily-b

    Rest assured if you are like me it wouldn't matter how sick you became you would still take your pills. If nothing else that would just be another excuse to use. I've been pretty sick and I never considered stopping over that.

    If you think you can handle leaving the bottle at home during the day and trying to taper that way then that is what you should do. It's no one's place here to determine how you do this. All we do is share our experience and make suggestions. But it isn't our place to judge you for your decision. We are here to offer support so long as your plan is constructive and has at least some logic to it. I think it makes perfect sense if you can do it. Melinda tapered, several have tapered. I just couldn't do it. I would take everything in sight and then get more.

    I was a HUGE benzo addict for over 25 years. I used every benzo there is and klonopin was one of my favorites and I always loved valium. That is a sickness right there just to say I loved any medication. Benzo detox was so much harder than opiate detox for me. I totally understand where you are coming from with the klonopin. There is nothing wrong with dealing with the klonopin problem after the opiates. Recovery is a process not an event. Just try to get better every day. That is working a plan of recovery. You need to be happy with your plan. That is your inventory not mine or anyone else's.

    Not all of us end up being street people before getting clean. I did pretty well in business for a long time. I was VP of Operations and sat on the board of directors for a decent size company when I decided to get clean. I had a couple grand in my billfold as pocket money when I checked into rehab the first time. I thank God every day that I got clean before I had to end up in a shelter. The only reason I didn't end up there was that I made enough money to cover my habits. But in reality I was still just as bad off as the street person. I just wasn't sleeping on the street physically. Emotionally and spiritually I was DEAD though.

    Do this the way you need to do it and end up successful. As long as you make it across the finish line that is what counts. Let us know how we can help. Good luck and God bless.
    Last edited by Robert_325; 11-10-2008 at 01:35 AM.

  26. #26
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default Robert

    Wow, your story is incredible and you are such a strong person to do what you did and to have that kind of strength is amazing, but we both know where you received it from!

    I want to mention that in no way did I mean to judge or criticize anyone here on the board about of what my views about a "drug addict", that is just what I picture in my head. But like you said, we are all dead when we have gone down that road, no matter how much is in your wallet, job, or what kind of home you live in.

    Thank you for your patience, I have to admit that after typing my post last night that I might be hit with all kinds of negative feedback...haha, one of my problems, always thinking ahead and never living in the moment. Wonder what this is like?

    I am praying to God that this plan will work, and actually I think I can do alright while at work, it's not taking it til at least 8pm that will be the biggest challenge for me. I will definitely keep you all posted on how I do today.

    For some reason I woke up with the worst anxiety at 3:27 this morning, don't know why but it was in the pit of my stomach, I wanted to scream. Haven't felt like that since I was withdrawing from the Valium, I am just praying that I don't go through that once I start to withdrawal. I haven't even started and already my body is freaking out. See there I go again fearing the unknown. I have a good friend who told me after 5 years of being on Vicodin, it took her only 3 days to come clean from it. She said she had the shakes for a couple of days and that was that. Makes it sound easy doesn't it? I guess we are all different and all react differently. I however really feel that my body is way to sensitive.

    Thank you again, and I will keep all of you posted on my tapering off idea.
    Lily-b

  27. #27
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Default

    Hi, Lilly. I'm Money Chick.... Know why thats my name? Cause while I was a junkie from hell, I owned a HUGE mortgage brokerage. In active addiction.

    You can click on my name and if you have lots of time, read my story. I'm getting close to 60 days continously clean though, and I want to talk to you about the emotional side of getting clean.

    Long story short, I could quit. I just couldn't stay quit. Not because of the physical side of wd's. but because of my mind. This last time I learned the most important thing.

    I control my mind. Period. If I could keep my mind focused, not let fear over come me, I could get clean and get through it. I say this so often I sound like a broken record- but you HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. You, not the drugs, or fear, or anything else.

    Don't let your mind wander off to the what ifs. What will happen will happen. I feel like alot of wds are started in our minds. If I feared shakes, I would get them so bad. If I feared the chills, they came with a vengance.

    Do you see what I mean?

    Really, really think about this.

    I'll be back later to talk more. I'm going to clean my house now. (And I can do it sober! WOW!!!)

  28. #28
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default Money_Chick

    Wow, your post was pretty powerful. I get what you are saying and tomorrow will be my first day of not taking any V's in the morning and the rest of the day ~ forever I am praying with all my might. I tried yesterday by doing my morning fix, then wait til evening ~ well that didn't work. I know what I have to do, just stop and go through hell before I can get to heaven! I brought myself to this point, so I know I will have to suffer the consequences unfortunately. And hopefully once I am clean, it will be a huge lesson learned in becoming addicted to that type of drug. Funny thing is, I have no clue what kind of drug is in Vicodin, and what it is that makes it so addicting, only thing I know is that I like, no LOVE the feeling. Seems that lately though the feeling I so called LOVE is not the same, it's more of "I take this because I need to". The enjoyment of it has left, so I think that is what has brought me to this point, and seeking help. Am I afriad, hell yeah I am. But I have been through worse, and I know that I can. After reading so many posts on this forum, I see it can be done.

    It's weird, when I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking just like that. Why, for my children's health. And here I am taking a drug that I don't need to take and I am not looking into what this drug is doing to my body, but if I found out I was pregnant, I would stop in a heartbeat.

    ps, I tried clicking onto your name and reading about your story, but was unable to. Is there a trick to it? I am new to this forum and only log in and click to reply to a post, lol.

    Thanks for the great tips! They will definitely come in handy starting tomorrow. Eeew, my tummy just did a flip as I typed that out.......

    Lily-b

  29. #29
    lily-b is offline New Member
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    Default reason to join meetings...

    Well I guess this is one reason I should probably look into joining some type of drug rehab meeting of some sort. This website is for use when you need random questions answered, yes there is support but not the kind I need. I keep checking in to see if I have gotten anything back from someone I posted to and I haven't, I know everyone is so busy and I am not upset, I've just come to the realization that I am in this battle pretty much on my own unless I do join a group.

    Thank you to everyone who has helped me. I wish you the best to those of you who are struggling with an addiction as I am. These past two days have been difficult, but I will survive!

    Lily-b

  30. #30
    Anonymous Guest

    Default

    Hi lily-b
    We are here...what's the matter? did someone not see one of your posts?
    sometimes they get lost. But most of the time we are pretty good...
    what was it that you needed,we would be happy to help you...
    Let us know,Talk to you soon, Melinda

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