[datahamster]

I would really appreciate some help/advice. I was prescribed oxycodone by my
doctor about 3 years ago, for mild-moderate chronic back and neck pain of
about 20 years. SO not a good idea! I've had depression for a long time,
but I think it was generally mild, compared to what I've been enduring the past year, and have become suicidal in the past few months, just very very depressed.

My Paxil, which I've taken for years, stopped working about a year ago, although I still take them, as no other SSRI has worked. So that leaves the Oxycodone, since the onset of this huge depression started about 1 year into this drug, I think, but I honestly can't remember now! I just know that I've never felt so messed-up before I took the Oxy.

So I feel total apathy, can barely do any housework, don't bother cooking for myself, etc. as I'm too unmotivated. I'm so confused that I can hardly do grocery shopping anymore. I just feel this horrible bleak depression, and can't find joy in anything anymore, though I used to have many varied interests and had a great sense of humor. Also, am often really exhausted and find it hard to get to
sleep and really hard to wake up.

Can someone please tell me---is it possible that Oxycodone is causing this? BTW, I'm addicted to it, of course, but it's lost almost all effect on me, certainly doesn't help with pain. I would have to
take an enormous amount for it to do that. Has anyone experienced such depression from it?
Also, I've been cutting down, am down to 6 10mg. tabs a day, and intend to taper off of it, I hope, but am not very confident just yet.
Many thanks, in advance,
Datahamster

[mitchigan]

Hi Data,

Yes it sounds as your symptoms are in-line with opiate abuse. Most of us have visited this site because of the same reasons. After time the effectiveness of opiate pain relief decreases and we begin to take more to obtain results. Thus begins the downward spiral. The lousy feeling is what motivates many of us to try to quit. The simple truth is that opiate pain relief should only be used for very short periods. Many doctors will only prescribe a 10 day max treatment for pain relief, others just don't seem to care. You sound like a good candidate for detox and alternate pain control. Suicidal....? Very serious...try to discuss this with your doctor as this is not a good thing to ignore. Wishing you the best possible, hope this helped!

[money_chick]

Yes, t can and will cause depression over the long term. I would suggest you continue to taper down, then address your depression after being off.

A change in ad's may help too. Prozac seems to have good results as does wellbutrin. And you may find you dont need an ad after getting off opiates.

[datahamster]

Thanks so much, Mitchigan and Money chick, I appreciate your validation and ideas. I really want to find out for sure if it's the Oxy that's causing this severe depression, as that would make it so much easier to taper off, you know? Cause I know it will be hard.
From what you said, it sounds like a vicious circle---you feel so ********py that you become
powerless to do much, even get off this evil stuff! With me, I have so many other problems in my life, it's hard to pin down the main culprit. I'd love to hear from a few other people that have felt severe depression from this!!! Thanks again.
Datahamster

[MaisieC]

Hi Datahamster,

I'm sorry you're going through this. You bet those pills can cause depression. They touch the opiate receptors in the brain, and that messes up whatever natural mood equilibrium you have. The body eventually comes to rely on the pills to regulate mood. Then you develop a tolerance, and you're toast. The opiates will totally void out your antidepressant.

This is exactly what happened to me. As a matter of fact, I started abusing opiates in order to deal with depression. It got impossible for my doctor to treat me, because I was self-medicating.

I remember one very bad period in my life when I was using heavily. I would get up in the morning, very depressed, and pop some percocets. I could feel my mood lifting, and it would stay there for about half an hour, and then I would feel suicidal again. That was the worst time of my life.

Please do talk to your doctor about this as soon as you can. You can get it straightened out and feel better again. And please let us know how you're doing. This is a great community where people are very supportive. :-)

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by datahamster

I would really appreciate some help/advice. I was prescribed oxycodone by my
doctor about 3 years ago, for mild-moderate chronic back and neck pain of
about 20 years. SO not a good idea! I've had depression for a long time,
but I think it was generally mild, compared to what I've been enduring the past year, and have become suicidal in the past few months, just very very depressed.

My Paxil, which I've taken for years, stopped working about a year ago, although I still take them, as no other SSRI has worked. So that leaves the Oxycodone, since the onset of this huge depression started about 1 year into this drug, I think, but I honestly can't remember now! I just know that I've never felt so messed-up before I took the Oxy.

So I feel total apathy, can barely do any housework, don't bother cooking for myself, etc. as I'm too unmotivated. I'm so confused that I can hardly do grocery shopping anymore. I just feel this horrible bleak depression, and can't find joy in anything anymore, though I used to have many varied interests and had a great sense of humor. Also, am often really exhausted and find it hard to get to
sleep and really hard to wake up.

Can someone please tell me---is it possible that Oxycodone is causing this? BTW, I'm addicted to it, of course, but it's lost almost all effect on me, certainly doesn't help with pain. I would have to
take an enormous amount for it to do that. Has anyone experienced such depression from it?
Also, I've been cutting down, am down to 6 10mg. tabs a day, and intend to taper off of it, I hope, but am not very confident just yet.
Many thanks, in advance,
Datahamster

As your body becomes acclimated to the med your body wants more.You end up having some w/d, even staying on the same dose over time.That is how a lot of us get in trouble me take more to compensate.Mitchigan was right about that .Yes it is very possible that this complicating is your depression.Good luck.MM

[datahamster]

Very interesting and helpful info, thanks so much Maisie and Musicman.
Maisie, that was very eye-opening for me, when you said that opiates will
totally void out your AD's!!!! Yikes.....this feels about right!

And Musicman, huge congrats on 140 days sober, you are an inspiration!

I stayed at 60mg. Oxycodone for the past week or so, and starting today,
am progressing down to 50 mg! I just feel so bad from it, and feel like 20 years
older. I hope to be off of it in about 2 weeks. I'm also starting therapy with
a good counsellor and attending a very good, holistic daytime rehab program,
which goes for 8 weeks. You get acupuncture, good info, and all kinds of
stress reduction stuff like yoga. That's in about 10 days, it begins.

It seems to me that the "feel" of the Oxy depression is different, more
almost tortured. Anyone feel that way? Like mentally/emotionally you are
trapped, and "in a corner" sort of. It just feels different than regular
depression, and I don't mean "better" in any way......I used to have a great
sense of humor and now I hardly even smile or laugh.
Thanks so much for your feedback, it's keepin' me going.
Leigh

[Sue13]

Hi all,

I can tell you that 25 days off all those pills has drastically changed my mood for the better. Once I got past the w/d, and back into life again, it is quite amazing what we give up for that elusive "high".

I did take Wellbutrin for a while but I am pretty much off those too.

Sue

[datahamster]

Sue, thanks very much, and congrats on this huge accomplishment! I'm
following in your footsteps,
Hugs,
Leigh

[lifesuxdethsux]

Hi need help ,I found this group looking for info on deppression and longterm pain meds oxy and methodone. I am A adict I see no way out since I need the meds for pain and to feel normal at usual doses,I have bin on oxy for several years I save them up and abuse them about twice every few weeks along with pot.The pot by its self isnt A problem its mixing the two that is the cycle I have bin on for several years.I keep thinking the methodone will get me threw after I run out of oxy till the next script but it doesnt.I am concerned that my deppression is caused by the long term use.I only half want to quite because opiats have greatly improved my life,they also have helped with OCD symptoms.The problem is I am dead deppressed I go from 6 oxy 5 methd dayly when I 'm taking as directed and twice that when not about once A week .Can going from that to just methodone cause severe deppression?I am allso on lexapro,adavan a benzo,clonidine,wellbutren,and more. I have no confidence that they are working anymore I have bin on them for to long?do they just stop working?they worked for 3 years ,all of them.I feel it would likely be next to impossible to get off them all.Truely my life was allot better for along time exspeacialy after first starting the pain pills.It apears to be over now.I have lost interesed in everything and nothing is very much fun anymore.I can not stop this cycle of getting really loaded once A week.there seems no solution really down right now and compulsivly thinking and planing ways to die..

[MaisieC]

Originally Posted by lifesuxdethsux

Hi need help ,I found this group looking for info on deppression and longterm pain meds oxy and methodone. I am A adict I see no way out since I need the meds for pain and to feel normal at usual doses,I have bin on oxy for several years I save them up and abuse them about twice every few weeks along with pot.The pot by its self isnt A problem its mixing the two that is the cycle I have bin on for several years.I keep thinking the methodone will get me threw after I run out of oxy till the next script but it doesnt.I am concerned that my deppression is caused by the long term use.I only half want to quite because opiats have greatly improved my life,they also have helped with OCD symptoms.The problem is I am dead deppressed I go from 6 oxy 5 methd dayly when I 'm taking as directed and twice that when not about once A week .Can going from that to just methodone cause severe deppression?I am allso on lexapro,adavan a benzo,clonidine,wellbutren,and more. I have no confidence that they are working anymore I have bin on them for to long?do they just stop working?they worked for 3 years ,all of them.I feel it would likely be next to impossible to get off them all.Truely my life was allot better for along time exspeacialy after first starting the pain pills.It apears to be over now.I have lost interesed in everything and nothing is very much fun anymore.I can not stop this cycle of getting really loaded once A week.there seems no solution really down right now and compulsivly thinking and planing ways to die..

Hi there,

I'm sorry you're going through all this. Let me just get this straight: you're taking oxy for pain, and you need it? But you're also saving it up to take at a higher dose to get high on? What is your regular dosage, and how much do you have to take to get high?

I think it's very likely that what you're doing with the oxys has made your depression a lot worse. You know that opiates touch the opiate receptors in your brain, and your brain therefore gets conditioned to having that chemical boost to "happiness." The trouble is that you develop a tolerance and need more and more. So you can end up a lot more depressed than you started out. Plus the way you're jumping around with the dosage is bound to mess up your brain.

I have heard of antidepressants suddenly not helping any more, for no apparent reason. But I don't think this is the case here. There's plenty of reason that your meds aren't helping your emotional state. It's the oxys that are making it impossible for those meds to do their job. I know, because I've done this: abused opiates while taking antidepressant medication. My experience was that the opiates voided out the antidepressants. My doctor even thought I was manic because my moods changed a lot, and he put me on lithium! Well, I'm not manic, I was just jerking my brain around and not telling the doctor the truth. This is pretty serious stuff, and you really ought to stop as soon as you can.

Your life is NOT over. You have some work ahead of you, but I know you can do it and get your equilibrium back if you really want to. First of all, though, you have to want to. If you're ambivalent, it's going to be next to impossible. If you're ready to quit, people here can help you and will be very supportive. I know you're feeling helpless right now and probably don't feel a lot of resolve. But you have to make up your mind if you want to change. Are you ready to quit this?

You CAN stop the cycle of getting loaded once a week. Why do you say you cannot? That's one of the first things you need to do. Is it that you don't want to? That's different from cannot, though I understand you're feeling very stuck right now. But you do have a choice about what you do.

Hang in there, and take care of yourself. Please let us know what you decide you want to do.

[mpvt]

If you are going to be on pain meds for life then you need to look in to methadone. It's very unusual to build large tolerences to methadone.I started out at 400mgs a day and 7 years later I'm down to 120mgs a day and my back pain is under pretty good control. As chronic pain patients we will always have some pain. What a lot of pain patients tend to do is take a pill and think that's it. Youneed to get active both mentally and physically otherwise you will fall into depression and incontrolled pain.Good luck and talk to your doctor about your options. A pain doctor would be best at this point......Dave

[datahamster]

Just posting a quick note on how I'm doing, since starting this link. I've got down to about 4 tablets of the 5 mg. Oxycodones daily, and have been stuck here
for about 2-months. I've been having severe major depression still, and feel
like I'm stuck in tar. But I think perhaps this will continue until I totally get
off this stuff--does anyone have a thought on this? I'm rather surprised that
such a small amount might be causing such a whopper of a depression! It's
only 20 mg., or so . I think I need a small kick in the butt, lol! Any takers?
It also seems to be killing off my anti-depressants.
Regards,
datahamster

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by datahamster

Just posting a quick note on how I'm doing, since starting this link. I've got down to about 4 tablets of the 5 mg. Oxycodones daily, and have been stuck here
for about 2-months. I've been having severe major depression still, and feel
like I'm stuck in tar. But I think perhaps this will continue until I totally get
off this stuff--does anyone have a thought on this? I'm rather surprised that
such a small amount might be causing such a whopper of a depression! It's
only 20 mg., or so . I think I need a small kick in the butt, lol! Any takers?
It also seems to be killing off my anti-depressants.
Regards,
datahamster

Hi Data
I was stuck at 2 five mg vics...it was a long road...how are you taking them...in the morning, night ???
I just started dropping them off ...the morning was the hardest for me to give up...
But you can do this...trust me I'm not that tough...so if I can do it you can to...
I would drop off another 10 mg then just quit...I had a couple bad days but then I started working my way up...and I'm still climbing
come on !!!!
keep posting it will help you quit...couse I will be talking your ear off till you do....
talk to you soon, Melinda

[datahamster]

Melinda, so nice to hear from you :-)) Actually, I take one 5 mg. in the a.m.,
but then try and space the other 4 throughout the day, lol.

do YOU think it's possible that 20 mg. can cause this depression?

And how severe was your withdrawal from 10 mgs, was it bad? I'm such a
chicken, lol! I'm now determined to keep taking less.

Thanks much
Data

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by datahamster

Melinda, so nice to hear from you :-)) Actually, I take one 5 mg. in the a.m.,
but then try and space the other 4 throughout the day, lol.

do YOU think it's possible that 20 mg. can cause this depression?

And how severe was your withdrawal from 10 mgs, was it bad? I'm such a
chicken, lol! I'm now determined to keep taking less.

Thanks much
Data

Hi data
I was taking oxycontin...40mg but I was taking two at a time and I would bite (chew) them to get get rid of the time release.I know sick...
so I was taking 16 at a time then I would throw in a couple of 10mg vics for a kicker...So when I started my taper on them is when I got the sickest...
by the time I got down to 2 five mg vic...I pretty much had it down it was more of the mental thing of letting them go and saying good by to those little devil pills...It's kinda of funny...I tore up all of my pics from those days and I won't wear any clothes that I wore then I threw them all away.I just can't stand to think about those days anymore...
you know I live with pain every day ...but for me that is ok...
you can do this and you will be so glad you did just drop 5mg a week...you will get there but you have to keep posting so you make yourself accountable...
I will be praying for you...
you have the strength in you I promise...
Talk to you soon , Melinda

[datahamster]

Wow Melissa, you did really well to get off them. At one point, I was at 200mg., lol
I can totally relate to throwing out all the stuff you associate with that time,
I think I would too.

I really want to take the next step, like down to 3 pills, not four. The depression is so severe that I sometimes have like a panic/suicide attack, and
feel I need to take an Ativan to calm down. THEN of course, I need 10 mg. of
Oxy to keep going thru the day. This is so messed up. This depression has
become a freakin' monster, just waiting to finish me off. Nothing is helping, not any anti-d's, etc. nothing. Not going out, going to NA meetings, nothing.
No good therapists here, it seems....
If I could be sure that 20 mg. of Oxy could be causing all of this hell, it would
give me incredible motivation--I'm really on my last legs here, nothing and no one is helping.
Melissa, would it be possible to get your direct email addy?
Hugs,
Leigh

[magsj]

Originally Posted by lifesuxdethsux

Hi need help ,I found this group looking for info on deppression and longterm pain meds oxy and methodone. I am A adict I see no way out since I need the meds for pain and to feel normal at usual doses,I have bin on oxy for several years I save them up and abuse them about twice every few weeks along with pot.The pot by its self isnt A problem its mixing the two that is the cycle I have bin on for several years.I keep thinking the methodone will get me threw after I run out of oxy till the next script but it doesnt.I am concerned that my deppression is caused by the long term use.I only half want to quite because opiats have greatly improved my life,they also have helped with OCD symptoms.The problem is I am dead deppressed I go from 6 oxy 5 methd dayly when I 'm taking as directed and twice that when not about once A week .Can going from that to just methodone cause severe deppression?I am allso on lexapro,adavan a benzo,clonidine,wellbutren,and more. I have no confidence that they are working anymore I have bin on them for to long?do they just stop working?they worked for 3 years ,all of them.I feel it would likely be next to impossible to get off them all.Truely my life was allot better for along time exspeacialy after first starting the pain pills.It apears to be over now.I have lost interesed in everything and nothing is very much fun anymore.I can not stop this cycle of getting really loaded once A week.there seems no solution really down right now and compulsivly thinking and planing ways to die..

Dear Lifesux and Datamaster:

I too suffered from long-term major depression. I was taking Methadone and Norco for back pain and thought I could not live without them due to the pain. I do know that opiates really mess with your dopamine function, dopamine is your natural "feel good" brain chemical. Opiates highjack your dopamine production and receptors and in time your brain stops making it's own dopamine and the receptors shut down because your brain has been sturated by synthetic opiates (oxy, methadone, hydrocodone, etc) and doesn't think it needs to make any of it's own, thus leading to protracted depression. I battled depression for 14 years and also started taking opiates because I thought it was the ONLY thing that made me feel better; at that time I just didn't care, I couldn't take the depression any longer.

After 5 years of opiates and the depression eventually getting even worse (yes there were times when I didn't care if I died and even wanted to) I knew I had to do something. It took me A YEAR to get up the courage to make a change. I was scared to death of withdrawal. I was in such a daze from the methadone and Norco that I struggled even finding where to go for help. It was a nightmare. Finally, I found this site. This site gave me the impitus and courage to move towards getting my life back. I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE and not very long ago. With the help and support of the people in this little "community" I am on my way. Just 1 week after stopping the methadone and Norco and starting Suboxone (to taper off of) I already felt my depression lifting. The clarity I have now is UNBELIEVABLE and my depression is MUCH improved.

I am telling you this because I didn't think I could live without pain medication either, but, in fact, a lot of my pain has actually improved. Opiates can cause their own pain syndrome. Don't give up. I know you feel like you are so far in and messed up right now that you just can't imagine finding your way out. Listen to what the people here are telling you. They are living proof that it can be done. If you decide you want to get off the pain medication, Robert, Melinda, Musicman and others will help you.

I want to give you some HOPE. Best wishes, most of us have been in your shoes.

mags

[Robert_325]

I was on every AD and at the highest doses and all they really for me was make me gain weight and mess with my thought process. They are the most over-prescribed med around, even worse than vics. Some need them but the drs determined finally that I was just mad because I was sick and in pain. So I got off the ADs.

I took opiates at the rate like thirty 30mg roxies, 30-40 lorcets, all per day plus other assorted garbage. When I got off certainly I was depressed. I just lost my best friend. And I did this for decades day after day.

It takes years to build up these addictions and it all doesn't often go away in a few weeks. It takes time. People need to have realistic attitudes about what they are going to face. And then work with people who have done this and know what they are talking about by experience. Street smarts go a long ways. At least that is my opinion. God bless.

[datahamster]

to Mags and Robert, bless you both for posting and giving me hope, I truly
appreciate that. I do agree with what you guys said, and I'm actually doing
alot better than my last post indicates I am still at a low dosage, but am
getting ready to take "the leap"! I already have some clonidine, but am a bit
worried about taking too much since I already take blood pressure meds?

Anyhow, Yes, I'm almost ready. Mags, I found what you said about the dopamine effect very interesting, it's the same thing that AD's do to our
serotonin, so no wonder we finally get so incredibly depressed! I also recently saw a very highly trained Naturopath, and he told me that Oxy affects our Hypo-adrenal pituitary axis (HPA axis), so he said that yes, in his
opinion Oxy can affect our whole system and mood, definitely.

Robert, it seems you have to same experience with the anti-d's that I do. I guess the poor ad's just aren't powerful enough to overcome the Oxy, and
everything it's causing.
Don't think I can find a Suboxone dr. up here, and was told anyway that it's very very expensive, so probably won't use those. But am going to take action soon. and again, many thanks to all of you, I will be in touch. And the
weather is finally improving, which really helps, mood-wise!
Leigh

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by datahamster

Wow Melissa, you did really well to get off them. At one point, I was at 200mg., lol
I can totally relate to throwing out all the stuff you associate with that time,
I think I would too.

I really want to take the next step, like down to 3 pills, not four. The depression is so severe that I sometimes have like a panic/suicide attack, and
feel I need to take an Ativan to calm down. THEN of course, I need 10 mg. of
Oxy to keep going thru the day. This is so messed up. This depression has
become a freakin' monster, just waiting to finish me off. Nothing is helping, not any anti-d's, etc. nothing. Not going out, going to NA meetings, nothing.
No good therapists here, it seems....
If I could be sure that 20 mg. of Oxy could be causing all of this hell, it would
give me incredible motivation--I'm really on my last legs here, nothing and no one is helping.
Melissa, would it be possible to get your direct email addy?
Hugs,
Leigh

Hi Leigh
Sorry I missed this post...if you click on my screen name melinda7.5 it will send you to my e-mail and you can send me a mssg...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[datahamster]

Thanks much Melinda. But I thought I'd poll everyone who reads this link.
I've been at a low dosage of the Oxycodone for several weeks now, like
about 20 - 30 mg? This last week, I went up a little as I wanted to check
something out related to my depression. What I really want to do is QUIT
NOW! I'm wondering, does it make a big difference in how bad you feel, whether you stop at 20 mg. or 40 mg., etc.? I'm so freaked out about the
withdrawal that I'm spending way more time on this horrid drug that I want to.
Also, can anyone give me a rough idea of how many days before I could
start doing "normal" things?
Would much appreciate your advice,
Leigh

[magsj]

Dear Leigh-

I am so sorry you are struggling so with depression. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I have been right where you are, absolutely despairing and desperate. I got sooo tired of people telling me "oh, it will get better", "give it some time", "try THIS antidepressant but, of coure, it will take 6 weeks to start working if it does"...... There are times I just wanted to drop kick everyone. I wanted to scream "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'M DYING HERE!"....ugh. The only thing I CAN tell you is that since stopping Methadone and Norco I definitely feel less depressed (and I have only been off of them for about 2 weeks). Don't get me wrong, I'm not jumping for joy yet, but I do feel better.

As far as stopping the oxy all together and how much withdrawal you will have, I am not really an expert yet on that, but I suspect you would have a good deal of withdrawal and I don't think you need that on top of the depression. It sounds like you are frantic. Are you at all able to kind of calm youself down a bit and, with the help of some of the others here, come up with a better plan that will not put you into such sudden withdrawal? I am sure some of the people that know what they are doing here will get back to you soon. I am sure there is a better way to get off of the oxy's than just stopping them suddenly. You don't need any more pain, the pain of depression is more than one should ever have to deal with.

Hang in there. I'll keep track of how you are doing.

mags

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by datahamster

Thanks much Melinda. But I thought I'd poll everyone who reads this link.
I've been at a low dosage of the Oxycodone for several weeks now, like
about 20 - 30 mg? This last week, I went up a little as I wanted to check
something out related to my depression. What I really want to do is QUIT
NOW! I'm wondering, does it make a big difference in how bad you feel, whether you stop at 20 mg. or 40 mg., etc.? I'm so freaked out about the
withdrawal that I'm spending way more time on this horrid drug that I want to.
Also, can anyone give me a rough idea of how many days before I could
start doing "normal" things?
Would much appreciate your advice,
Leigh

Hi data
Your talking to master at the taper game...LOL...I was taking oxycontin and perc's and vic's and klonopin and soma's ....LOL and I tapered off all of those...so to answer your question If it was me I would go down to 10 or 20 mg and jump off when I got down that far I just quit I was sick for about 4 days but not the kind of sick that most of the people are on here...I was like that when I quit the oxycontin ...your ready I think you should go for it.
Do the Thomas recipe...do you have that if not Ill get it for you...
Let us know how your doing...
Melinda

[datahamster]

Thanks much to Mags and Melinda!

Mags, what you were saying about wanting to drop-kick people who offer
such lousy unhelpful advice, I can totally relate! I really believe that response comes out of my depression somewhat too, it's makes me very
irritable. (the depression does, I mean)

Melinda, that was very helpful advice, thanks much. That's who I need is the
taper-down queen, lol! Yes, I'm getting very very close to dumping the Oxy
altogether, but I want to make sure I've tapered down as much as humanly
possible, so another few days to a week will do it. And I'll also make sure that
I don't have any important activities planned, just in case.
Yes, I do have the Thomas protocol, thanks very much. I printed it out just
a few days ago, and already have Clonidine.
Will be in touch soon :-))
Data