[annieraspberry]

Hi all,

I've spent the last few days reading a dozen or so of the first pages of postings and realized that I wanted to introduce myself now and share my story. I've been on 20mg of Lexapro for the last year (prescribed for depression and GAD) and now that I find myself in a better place emotionally and personally, I decided recently that I wanted to get off this drug because 1) I think it was just a band-aid for my problems and didn't allow me to get to the root of them to heal, 2) I feel like it's deadened me a bit, and 3) it's completely out of sync with the rest of my life which I try to live as naturally as possible (organic, whole, natural, etc in all respects). I really just couldn't have this 'poison' on my system anymore and if going off it causes me to feel as sad and depressed as I was prior to going on it, so be it. At least I will be able to deal with those issues, feel my pain, and know that I'm nut numbing myself anymore.

Anyways, those are the reasons why I chose to stop. Now, however, five days into stopping cold-turkey, I'm overwhelmed by how absolutely **** I feel physically. Definitely have the almost-debilitating mind ZAPS, the extreme tiredness, the nausea (the ride home on the metro last night I almost literally threw-up), I alternate between chills and feeling overly warm, my whole body just hurts with the zaps and the fatigue. I'm stubborn and do NOT want to go back onto the lexapro but MY WORD this is impacting me so much more painfully than I anticipated. Some of you have suggested that it may be 6 weeks or so before I don't feel these symptoms and, let me tell you, from this angle, 6 weeks seems like an interminably long time!! I don't have the luxury of taking time off from work so I find this is definitely impacting my performance, it's so distracting!! and so hard to motivate myself to do my job when all I can focus on is how horrible I feel. I really have to believe this is going to pass ... I can't believe now that I ever went on it in the first place. I certainly NEVER will again, if only to avoid this withdrawal symptoms.

I know this is a long, rambling message, and still there is so much more I feel I could say, but for now, hello, and thanks for being there for the advice and stories. Misery sure does love company.

Annie