[bishop33]

I am a new member to this site as came across it looking up info on xanax withdrawl! Long story short...this is my second attempt to stop taking xanax...obviously its an extremely hard drug to stop. I was first prescribied xanax after having my first ever panic attack at the age of 30...and have been cursed w/ them ever since (a thread for another day)...i still ponder what triggered the very first attack as its been three years now since i've felt "normal"...anyway...i'm going on my 10th day not taking xanax and drinking alcohol as this time around seems a bit less traumatic then the first...but also am on 40mg a day paxil...i still feel as though my heart will explode at any given moment and had to resign from my job as can barely manage driving! When does it get better as is amazing how quickly i forgot how addicted i was! Help..Please. Thanks.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

I am a new member to this site as came across it looking up info on xanax withdrawl! Long story short...this is my second attempt to stop taking xanax...obviously its an extremely hard drug to stop. I was first prescribied xanax after having my first ever panic attack at the age of 30...and have been cursed w/ them ever since (a thread for another day)...i still ponder what triggered the very first attack as its been three years now since i've felt "normal"...anyway...i'm going on my 10th day not taking xanax and drinking alcohol as this time around seems a bit less traumatic then the first...but also am on 40mg a day paxil...i still feel as though my heart will explode at any given moment and had to resign from my job as can barely manage driving! When does it get better as is amazing how quickly i forgot how addicted i was! Help..Please. Thanks.

I have detoxed from benzos twice. I used them for over 25 years. I've taken every benzo there is in mass quantities. When I finally detoxed the last time I had been taking 15-20mg of xanax per day and 6-8mg of klonopin per day. The detox was hell. I had seizures, electric shock syndrome, couldn't sleep without the horrid dreams, the entire episode I thought would kill me for sure. I know xanax detox.

The thing about xanax is the very short half life. We use it, then its out of our bodies in a short time. So if we are addicted to it we suffer w/d symptoms quickly as it is so fast acting. Being fast acting makes it a commonly prescribed med for panic attacks. That is fine but only for a short time. They are so very addicting.

How much xanax were you taking at the end??? Your answer will determine what advice I give you. Will look for your reply. God bless.

[bishop33]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

How much xanax were you taking at the end??? Your answer will determine what advice I give you. Will look for your reply. God bless.

Thank you Robert...and in response I was taking around 6mg a day of xanax and was also on 6mg of klonopin along w/ heavy drinking every evening.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

Thank you Robert...and in response I was taking around 6mg a day of xanax and was also on 6mg of klonopin along w/ heavy drinking every evening.

This is a very dangerous detox to do cold turkey. It really is. Especially if you alcohol levels were toxic too. The same things I mentioned happening to me could happen to you very easily. You should DEFINITELY be taking an anti-convulsant medication like dilantin or depakote. You could easily have a seizure doing the detox like this and should take medication to help prevent it. It's not inevitable or anything, but the danger is a serious risk.

I would have recommended that you detox with a taper using the benzo with the longest half life. That is valium, klonopin is second longest. After being into this deal ten days now it would probably be going backwards to start taking benzos again now. But you need the aforementioned medication. Please talk to the dr about it.

You could easily have another week or two of benzo detox. It is worse than opiates and you have been taking a significant dose. Way too much actually. Stay in touch and keep us posted. This could conceiveably take a month total. God bless.

[bishop33]

Robert...the problem I am having now is that the thought of going to the doctor and making it through w/o any benzo's seems impossible as my bed as become my "safe spot" for lack of better...I am however lucky to have a girlfriend who is helping me and supporting me but our living arrangements arent the healthiest (long story)...wondering how to overcome all this as currently seems impossible as cant imagine how I would be feeling if I wasnt on paxil!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

Robert...the problem I am having now is that the thought of going to the doctor and making it through w/o any benzo's seems impossible as my bed as become my "safe spot" for lack of better...I am however lucky to have a girlfriend who is helping me and supporting me but our living arrangements arent the healthiest (long story)...wondering how to overcome all this as currently seems impossible as cant imagine how I would be feeling if I wasnt on paxil!

I am not playing games about the dilantin, depakote or something for the seizures. Doesn't really matter if you are uncomfortable with it or not. You need the medication and need to call the dr regardless of what you do next. I am serious.

I hate paxil but would not tell anyone to stop an AD. Consequences could be too severe. But you are doing something else just as serious with the benzos.

If you can't handle the cold turkey detox I can direct you how to do this with a taper using the right medication and methods. But you still need the other medication. I will try to help you if you want me to. But only if you will get the medication you need so I know you will be safe. I won't be involved in placing someone in danger. I know you have to understand that. I just want you to be safe doing this. God bless.

[bishop33]

Understood about dilantin/depakote or something for the seizures as have a call into my current doctor's nurse...and would like as much help and support as possible hince my joining this site as I hope to some day return the favor! This is hands down the most difficult and disabling thing I have ever faced...and I so want to be me again!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

Understood about dilantin/depakote or something for the seizures as have a call into my current doctor's nurse...and would like as much help and support as possible hince my joining this site as I hope to some day return the favor! This is hands down the most difficult and disabling thing I have ever faced...and I so want to be me again!

It's a terribly difficult thing to do. Believe me I understand. I am glad you will get the meds for seizures. That will help keep you safe doing this.

So tell me about your benzo w/d symptoms. You said it has been worse. Tell me about what is happening please.

Also I would ask that you go to Google and do a search for The Ashton Method or The Ashton Manual. Dr Heather Ashton is from the UK and one of the foremost authorities on benzo detox. She talks about and explains why you should do a benzo detox with another benzo having the longest half life. Read the Google link to the Ashton Method/Ashton Manual. My following suggestions will then make a lot more sense if you do the read first. God bless.

[bishop33]

Robert...you seem extremely sagacious as I read about the Ashton Method and am curious as to at day 10 if I should take another benzo?...I realize I'm all over the board in my thoughts but my thoughts are just that...I feel as though I'm crazy and maybe I am as at this point I'm not certain what is the best for me...???

[Robert_325]

I agree with you. I don't want you to take any benzos at this point. In my first post or so to you I mentioned that after almost two weeks it would be stepping backwards. But I understood you to say that you were having such problems, not hardly able to get out of your bed. That isn't good at all. That sounds potentially like serious depression. I am basing my suggestions only on what you are saying.

I was hoping after seeing the Ashton Method you would ask me questions just like you did. I thought this is what you were wanting to do and I actually wanted to discourage you. You said in your post, "....making it through without any benzos seems impossible ..." But even though I don't recommend it at this point I would be willing to help with a taper even if not my first choice. The goal is you being off benzos however it has to happen.

You can do things like get outside and walk around the block doing some exercise. That helps some with the restlessness and it gets you out of bed and your home. Hot showers and baths help too. But you need to get up. You will feel better just doing that. We can't just stay in bed.

You have got a good week, very possible longer before you feel better. The sleep problems could last a lot longer. I didn't sleep for close to three months when I got off benzos. I still don't sleep really well and it's been years.

You should get the medication I suggested and continue with your detox at this point. Just let us know how you are doing and we can offer some suggestions as you go along. Bottom line there is no formula for making any detox comfortable let alone a benzo detox. Keep us posted. God bless.

[bishop33]

Almost forgot...as far as what is happening and how I feel...it's so hard to describe but I have a huge "inward nervousness" feeling...it's like I have this lump in my heart as it's always there and the only thing that takes it right away is benzos as is instant...my heart races when I think about getting caught in traffic and such...I'm not sure if i described it well enough but at this point all I know is that I SO WANT IT TO GO AWAY!!!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Bishop
I just wanted to give you some support and tell you it will get better,
I have gone Thur what you are going thru about 4 months ago and i know its not fun,I'm allot better now,no more panic attacks,I sleep about 5 hr a night
so it is getting better,just wanted you to know your not alone.
and all those feelings will go away,just give it some time.
If you listen to what Robert says you will be fine.
Talk to ya later,melinda

[Robert_325]

That is about as accurate of a description of an ongoing panic attack and general anxiety disorder as I can think of. That is why the dr gave you the benzos and is a specific symptom of benzo w/d. That is why I said this is not going away after a week like a RX pain pill addiction. Benzo detox usually takes longer.

You have made it almost two weeks now. NO WAY you want to give in now. You are doing well even with the side effects. They are not your fault and are symptoms. You've just got to suck it up and get through this. Just don't forget that prescription I suggested.

Remember what this was like when you are done. Don't forget what freakin garbage benzos are. I hate benzos now. I am militant about it. But I will do whatever it takes including using another benzo if it will help get someone off. Remember that when this is over you never have to use again. God bless.

[bishop33]

Thanks Melinda.....it's hard to believe that there are actually others that have felt the way I'm feeling...it's hard to imagine that after going thru this once I feel right back into it...it's funny because my composure looks ok yet inside Im a mess!!!!

[bishop33]

Robert...I so need and thak you for the optimism and sagacious replies as I so want to rush the process but know better and yet this is my second shot at it...I just realized that it will be interesting to go back and read this and see how much I progress weekly if not daily...as I am so hopeful!

[Robert_325]

You already sound better than your initial post. This will be a good read for you in a few weeks when you are a different person. Just stay focused.

I don't know your beliefs but when I went through my final benzo detox it was me surrendering to all this and letting God have control that finally got me past the worst days. It's amazing that when I asked for help through Jesus Christ that most of my real problems disappeared. There is nothing to lose by trying but a bad habit. He hasn't let me down yet. God bless.

[bishop33]

It's funny you mentioned that Robert as I tend to always go to God when I have issues and yet when things are good a tend to slip away...I was just telling my girlfriend that it seems that those who have gone through this tend to have God w/ them which I truly admire and respect...concerning my w/d's ...why are benzos so hard to detox from???

[Robert_325]

Benzos are so tough because they directly affect the central nervous system (CNS).

Go to the search box at the top of this page and type in xanax, klonopin, ativan, any of them. Read what it says these drugs do. They affect our entire thought and reception process in our brains. We become accustomed to not truly processing things as these meds keep things from bothering us, or putting us into the panic mode. Then when we start to detox all of these thoughts which are just our reality start bombarding us. We have been shelving these thoughts for so long that its hard to deal with them.

It's amazing how we blow off God when things are good, but beg Him when things are tough. That is such a slap to faith. I did it too don't worry. I can't count the times I used the prayer, "God just get me through this and it won't happen again." God doesn't bargain. He just wants us to talk to Him. Remember that the miracles only happen at tough times. It's by having faith when we are being really stretched that we get to experience the true grace of Jesus Christ. Good luck and God bless.

[bishop33]

Robert...I'm in such agreement w/ alot of what you say...hince another random question for you related to this...what triggers a panic attack to begin with? As i suffered from depression as a teenager and ADD/ADHD as a child but it wasnt until I was 30 when I had first panic attack out of no where...I was healthy and in shape working out 5 to 6 days a week and at the time my only vices were alcohol and ciigarettes...I suppose I'm just searching for answers and solutions...???

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

Robert...I'm in such agreement w/ alot of what you say...hince another random question for you related to this...what triggers a panic attack to begin with? As i suffered from depression as a teenager and ADD/ADHD as a child but it wasnt until I was 30 when I had first panic attack out of no where...I was healthy and in shape working out 5 to 6 days a week and at the time my only vices were alcohol and ciigarettes...I suppose I'm just searching for answers and solutions...???

Chemicals in the brain that control our emotional reaction to certain stimuli become unbalanced ... hence the panic attack. The benzos help to regain that balance very quickly. They are very effective drugs for the short term. Benzos work so well that we become convinced they are our life saver as our anxiety, depression, etc are so debilitating. There hasn't had any relief in a long time for many of us. The longer we stay on this track the more depression and anxiety are actually CAUSED by the benzos unless the dose is increased regularly as we build a tolerance. Then we need more medication or we get progressively worse. It's a never ending cycle unless we make the choice to end it. That is easier said than done but totally possible. God bless.

[bishop33]

11th day...well i dont feel any different today...although i did notice that even in my "safety zone" aka the bedroom...i still can produce anxiety w/ my thoughts...even to a panic attack level which i dont remember being able to do (not a favorable ability)...anyway...im not sure what to do now as i had scheduled an appointment w/ my Dr. for tomorrow yet w/o a benzo I cant even ride w/ my girlfriend to the vet for her dog let alone take myself to the Dr. ...benzos are so very bad!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

11th day...well i dont feel any different today...although i did notice that even in my "safety zone" aka the bedroom...i still can produce anxiety w/ my thoughts...even to a panic attack level which i dont remember being able to do (not a favorable ability)...anyway...im not sure what to do now as i had scheduled an appointment w/ my Dr. for tomorrow yet w/o a benzo I cant even ride w/ my girlfriend to the vet for her dog let alone take myself to the Dr. ...benzos are so very bad!

Like I said yesterday you need to get out of the bedroom. That needs to be the first thing you do as this is just adding to the problem. Maybe you should nail the door shut to it so you can't even go in there. I am serious here and not being a wise guy, but if you are unable to get out of the house to go to the dr then you need to call an ambulance to take you. This is being blown totally out of proportion.

You have to make a conscience effort to help yourself. I can't do it for you while sitting at my computer. It's got to be you that takes action or I'm serious ... you need to call an ambulance to take you to the ER. If you can't do it then give me your name, address, phone and I will call an ambulance service myself.

Benzos are bad but you need to step up and be an adult about this. If that isn't possible then call an ambulance. I have NO idea what else to tell you. You have totally tied my hands. You are likely to have another good week or more of this. You can't be like this everyday and there is absolutely nothing that I can do to help you while you are hiding out in your bedroom. Think about what you are doing. This is insane and makes NO sense whatsoever. God bless.

[melinda7.5]

Hi bishop
If you listen to what you just said about producing anxiety with your thoughts
you can switch that also,try to think good thoughts,I went through panic attacks when i got off the benzos,they don't last forever,if you can remember that it helps.
there are some great books on tape that can make your attacks go away
they really helped me,let me know if want to know more about them.
every day you will be getting better just hardley enough to notice.
but every day your body is healing and relearning how to live with out
benzos. keep posting if you need to talk,melinda

[bishop33]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Like I said yesterday you need to get out of the bedroom. That needs to be the first thing you do as this is just adding to the problem. Maybe you should nail the door shut to it so you can't even go in there. I am serious here and not being a wise guy, but if you are unable to get out of the house to go to the dr then you need to call an ambulance to take you. This is being blown totally out of proportion.

You have to make a conscience effort to help yourself. I can't do it for you while sitting at my computer. It's got to be you that takes action or I'm serious ... you need to call an ambulance to take you to the ER. If you can't do it then give me your name, address, phone and I will call an ambulance service myself.

Benzos are bad but you need to step up and be an adult about this. If that isn't possible then call an ambulance. I have NO idea what else to tell you. You have totally tied my hands. You are likely to have another good week or more of this. You can't be like this everyday and there is absolutely nothing that I can do to help you while you are hiding out in your bedroom. Think about what you are doing. This is insane and makes NO sense whatsoever. God bless.

It is insane as I have never denied...just describing how I feel and trying to get input...I've had a rough couple of days due to what I believe now is paxil w/d ontop of my xanax and alcohol w/d...all I know is that I feel so out of control...meaning I feel my body has control over my mind (for lack of better). Kinda sucks when the Dr. that prescribed me all these meds wont even call something in for me to just make it into the office! Why? As thats insane to me!

[bishop33]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi bishop
If you listen to what you just said about producing anxiety with your thoughts
you can switch that also,try to think good thoughts,I went through panic attacks when i got off the benzos,they don't last forever,if you can remember that it helps.
there are some great books on tape that can make your attacks go away
they really helped me,let me know if want to know more about them.
every day you will be getting better just hardley enough to notice.
but every day your body is healing and relearning how to live with out
benzos. keep posting if you need to talk,melinda

I'm trying to be asstrong as I can mentally yet I know its my mind contributing to all this! Talking and being able to express my thoughts and concerns does help a lot! Thank you for the support!

[melinda7.5]

Let us know if you need to talk or if there is somthing we can help with...
melinda

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by bishop33

It is insane as I have never denied...just describing how I feel and trying to get input...I've had a rough couple of days due to what I believe now is paxil w/d ontop of my xanax and alcohol w/d...all I know is that I feel so out of control...meaning I feel my body has control over my mind (for lack of better). Kinda sucks when the Dr. that prescribed me all these meds wont even call something in for me to just make it into the office! Why? As thats insane to me!

I am certainly not taking up for the dr who has prescribed all the meds that have you in this condition. But you have to ask yourself that if you were the dr how would you know what to give someone without even seeing them. Drs have patients calling them all day long wanting scripts called in. Not saying you are trying just to get drugs from the dr, but some people do that. The dr has to see you in person to make an accurate diagnosis of the problem. He is responsible if he prescribes something over the phone and it affects you adversely.

You really should FORCE yourself to go see him or else like I said before go to the ER. For one thing the paxil mixed with benzos can cause respiratory depression. That is very serious. This rollercoaster needs to stop even if it means going into a rehab and getting off some of this trash. But you have to get out of bed even to go to the hospital. If you won't get out of your room there is nothing anyone here can really do for you. I have tried but you are not following any suggestions that I make. You simply refuse and stay in your room in bed. I can't do anything to help you if you won't take any advice and act on it. God bless.

[bishop33]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

I am certainly not taking up for the dr who has prescribed all the meds that have you in this condition. But you have to ask yourself that if you were the dr how would you know what to give someone without even seeing them. Drs have patients calling them all day long wanting scripts called in. Not saying you are trying just to get drugs from the dr, but some people do that. The dr has to see you in person to make an accurate diagnosis of the problem. He is responsible if he prescribes something over the phone and it affects you adversely.

You really should FORCE yourself to go see him or else like I said before go to the ER. For one thing the paxil mixed with benzos can cause respiratory depression. That is very serious. This rollercoaster needs to stop even if it means going into a rehab and getting off some of this trash. But you have to get out of bed even to go to the hospital. If you won't get out of your room there is nothing anyone here can really do for you. I have tried but you are not following any suggestions that I make. You simply refuse and stay in your room in bed. I can't do anything to help you if you won't take any advice and act on it. God bless.

Despite what one may think...I am trying the best I can...I dont think my condition requires an ambulance ride as I'm just REALLY REALLY uncomfortable as I am trying to find someone that has a xanax or two so I can at least make it to the doctor! Which my Dr. must know my condition as have been going to her for over a year and a half now...so if I call the nurse and she looks at my "chart" she must realize I do infact have an anxiety disorder!...as I have had Dr.'s in the past that have called in a few meds in order for me to hold my composure long enough to sit through an appointment! One way or another I will get just enough to make it to the doctor even if I have to purchase online.

[Robert_325]

I would think that if you called the dr and told them you would come right in if they would call you in 2 xanax as you are totally beside yourself the dr will probably say that if you can make it to the pharmacy then you can make it to their office. That is what I would expect at least. Yes most drs call in meds all the time. Yours probably does too. But she likely wants to see you in your present condition so she can evaluate you more accurately. Think about that.

I don't really know what to say about all this. The detox can't last too much longer, at least not the worst of it. Realize though that as long as you keep yourself in isolation your symptoms will be worse than if you got outside and did something. All you are focusing on is your condition. You need to be thinking about something constructive. And as long as you are locked in your room that is going to be next to impossible. All you will be focusing on is how crummy you feel. God bless.

[bishop33]

Understood...and my doctor has seen me like this and seen me during several panic attacks...which I did ask for just 2 xanax so I could make it in and they said no...thats all I need...I think at this point I am going to try the Ashton Method so that I can at least be somewhat productive during this as cold turkey isnt working in my favor this time around...once I locate an online pharmacy for the valuim and hopefully recieve it...whats next?