[shybaybe2003]

I am getting vicodin filled tomorrow. IT will only be for 40 pills, its my last refill, Im not gonna try to get anymore, even if i do hurt mentally and physically. Im in therapy, and am getting referred to an addiction specialist, so thats good. I am goona refill it, its like an obsession I have to do it one last time. I know its against everything your supposed to do, I have only been clean 5 days, but im not here for judgement about that. I even told my therapist, Who i met for the first time today i was gonna get it. Im just decding if i should try some kind of taper method or what will help with my energy and depression when i am off of them

[melinda7.5]

Hi shybaybe
I not trying to sound like I'm judging you.I have been where your at more times than I can count...
The point I want to make is until you decide you want to quit more than anything else in your life...the taper just wont work...
If you want to try I would be more than happy to help you...
But you have to want to quit...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[MaisieC]

Why would you worry about setting up a taper now? You're clean already. Five days is a lot! So you want to relapse but relapse with a plan in place to get clean again? I totally understand the impulse to use one more time. If you really have to do that, then get high ONCE and flush the rest of the pills; don't use for a week and thus ensure that you'll go through withdrawal again and need to taper.

I'm not judging you in a moral sense, but please understand that this idea is really kind of screwy, and I am judging that. You say in the title of your thread that you need help, but it sounds like you're asking for help to plan your relapse and recovery from that relapse. Am I misunderstanding this?

[Sue13]

I am with Maisie-5 days! You are pretty much out of the woods...but I have done what you are? (since your post was yesterday) doing many times. As Melinda says, you have to want to quit. I guess in some way I was between a rock and a hard place when I tapered with the help here, (tapered back up 2 days!) and then (knowing the bf had another 50 pills in his possession, and was "holding" for me script for 200 more) one very tearful night I realized that with 250 pills (which "should" have gotten me into May) I was going to be out in, at best, a month and a half...of agony.

Then what? That would have been about 2 weeks ago, and I am pretty sure I would have been either dead, in the depths of despair and withdrawal, with no self-esteem, and I would have lost the respect of all around me.

Somehow that morning, I found the strength to throw out what I had, prevail on the bf to throw out the rest, and the script. That was two months ago. Two months that I didn't have to live each day in hell.

I did pray that night, and it is my belief that God helped me that extra yard.

I hope you get the help you need here, from your inner strength, and whatever power may be out there.

Wishing you success,
Sue

[shybaybe2003]

that was so stupid. It was like an obsession, I had the refill so I HAD to get it filled. I know it was stupid. I would be about 10 days clean now, Instead of just going into my second. But i am dead serious. I need all the help I can get.i am going to not just get clean but stay clean. I have come up with every excuse in the book to use vics, but in the end it all comes back to one thing-addiction. But im am not gonnna blame that becasue i still have a mind and the ability to choose.

[melinda7.5]

See you are determind...I know you going to do it this time..I just posted to you on the other thread...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[Anglfangs]

Oh man, you went ahead and got the refill. Hon, if you were off five days you were half way through the hardest part. I'm sure your pissed at yourself for it, but start tapering down again on your last script (this one). If you can, (not if you want to) once you have cut yourself down to a quater or half of 1 pill you need to stop.

You will go through the sweats and not sleeping again but I know you can do it.(and you know you can). You just have to get through the first two weeks of physical addiction ....alll the rest is mental. You might not sleep for up to six months depending on how much you were taking or for how long, but it is worth it to be free from them the rest of your life right?

Your kind of down to your last straw right now. If you really do not need these for pain, stop before they start to cause pain. If you use pain medication, specially opiates for long peiods of time they can cause just as much pain to your body from numbing your nervous system and that starts feeling "normal" to you. Maybe you should try an NA meeting, there are plenty of them all overthe US just look them up in your area in the phone book. Someone will be able to provide you personal support and give you a place to go or someone to call when you want to use. Hope I helped....

[male43nj]

Hello all!!
Just joined today, hoping one day soon to "kick the habit" as they say. I cant get over how supportful everyone is on here. i think i found the right site to help me.

Shy, do you have anyone who you can give the pills to that can help with the tapering off? if you could do cold turkey, more power to you. I couldnt, cant now, and arent going to even fool myself that i could. i am a firm beleiver in the tapering off method. maybe someone could hold the pills after you get the script filled and set up a REASONABLE timeframe and daily limit for you. i stress reasonable cause ive come up with a million excuses why i need a perc or vic if the tapering is too much at once.

But, whatever you do, i hope it works. i will check these forums a few times a week, and i'm looking forward to yours and more sucess stories. i think when i'm ready they will help me!

Bill