[xcalibure]

I've been hooked on prescription pain pills for about two years now. I know I'm hooked because I no longer take them for pain but for the high that they give me. The drug I've used the longest has been Percocett, at about 10 pills a day of the 5/325mg strength. I've spoken with my doctor about my addiction and we tried cold turkey. My body couldn't handle that and I was out doctor shopping after only two days, going to dentists, the ER, wherever I could someone to write me a script. Next we tried a taper schedule that I arranged and thought for sure I could stick with. However it turns out I was kidding myself. I wasn't ready for that step and showed it by acting stupid and taking all of my prescribed doses well before the next refill date, i.e., a ten day supply at 6 pills a day was gone in five or less. And as the ten days progressed they fell shorter and shorter. I've come to my doctor with this also. He says I'm not stupid, I'm just a person who's body likes narcotics which is very true. My question for those former addicts or anyone familiar with addiction is what do I do now? I know cold turkey is not an option. I'll be out doctor shopping in no time. I think the taper would work, the difference now and when I went through the taper is that I realize now it's not a game nor am I "in love" with the drugs anymore and I want to quit. In other words I'm taking the necessary steps to help myself, i.e. N/A, my church, family, and anything else I can put around me that will be a positive influence where as before I was dishonest and only saying I was. At this point I know I want to quit, I don’t want this to be my life anymore. I don’t want to hurt my family anymore. I want this to end but I also want to be successful in beating it. Not clean for a week then getting high again. Are there any suggestions on where to go from here? Would I be able to do another taper with a stronger will and taking it seriously, not as a pass to free pills to binge on? I think I can, I know I’m wrong for the way I treated it and I feel the guilt of it everyday. I was also dishonest to get pain pills while on a contract with my Dr to taper off of them. What should I do now? Any advice would be helpful.

[PoppyQueen]

Then get on Suboxone. It takes away your desire to use pain killers. I know because I'm on it for 3 weeks now. I have no interest in taking narcotics. Suboxone also takes away at least 80% of withdrawal symptoms within 20 minutes of ingestion.

Go to www.suboxone.com or do a search on this forum for Suboxone and you'll get tons of info.

Good luck!

PQ

[xcalibure]

Unfortunately I was told by two different doctors that no one in the state is licensed to use Suboxone. I guess it takes a particular license that most seasoned doctors do not want to mess with but is becoming the norm now out of med school, but unfortunately I can't wait for them to become MD's to help me. But yeah, that was my first thought too. Thanks.

[PoppyQueen]

Did you go here and look in your state, and then by county?

http://www.suboxone.com/patients/res..._a_doctor.aspx

In my state (NJ), there's one in every county.

I wish you luck,

PQ

[xcalibure]

I've tried being honest with my doctor, I asked him to try another taper under the advice of two doctors, one a psychiatrist. Also with backing from an NA sponsor. He basically blew off the whole thing. The doctors I confided in said that at my former dosage, which was around 12-15 pills/day that cutting that supply in half was to quick of a taper. Going from 15 to 6 just caused my body to withdrawal to quickly. I kindly explained this to him and he dismissed both doctors saying, that because I wasn't vomiting, seating, shaking, drooling, etc. that I wasn't having real withdrawal. I even tried to go to the clinic here in town and they refused to touch me because of the advice from my primary care doctor. I have an appointment with a new PCP (Primary Care Physician) but it isn't until Nov. 1st and I don't know what to due in the meantime....any advice? I don't want to start doctor shopping through dentist to get pills. Unfortunately in my little town the clinic, ER, and my physician are all linked together. So when one won't help you, no one will. I'm being completely honest with everyone about my addiction and trying to seek help but NO ONE CARES, except the people who really can't help me at this point. I'm on day 2 without narcotics and I'm about to go crazy and start doctor shopping so I can do the taper myself. Any ideas? Honesty hasn't helped me any. I even visited our local rehab but the detox ward looks like a morgue, a scary place in the basement of a building where they strap you to a gurney and have you go through withdrawl without any help. I'm not to that point, I can beat this with one last taper, I'm positive of it. No on the Suboxone too, my doctor said I don't need it and there's no one to prescribe it. Has anyone else went through this trouble to get help? It seems discriminating, if I was a heroin user I could get Methadone like candy to help but for pills users, no help, and that's literally what my doctor said.

[tigerman]

Try clonidine & darvocet.It worked for me,so far. BUT I really wanted to quit. Every time I think about painkillers I want to throw up.Whatever you read it is mind over matter,I promise.I know U have it in you!!