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Detox from Percocet Addiction
Detox from Percocet Addiction
Hi everyone. I am in my 43rd hour of withdrawl. (Still counting hours...little steps..hopefully someday..i'm counting days..then months..). I started on Vic's several years ago for a long term chronic back problem which no Doctor's are recommending surgery for at this point. I have tried all of the non-narcotic medicines but the do absolutely nothing for my back pain...doesn't even take the edgeo off.). So I started on Vic's took those for the back pain, then for stress, etc. Eventually I became dependent on them. I would mix the Vic's and the perks when i got perks. Then i went only with perks because I felt more of a euphoria with them. Used to take maybe 20-30mg of perks a day. Then that wasn't enough, and increased my dosage. Up until a few days ago...i was snorting 75-90mg a day. I used to buy from someone who gets two scripts, one for 10mg and one for 15 mg. I would crush up a 15 (small green pill) with the 10mg perks (white pills) and snort 25mg at a time. Then that wasn't enough..and I was doing 2 10's and 1 15 and that wasnt' enough... Anyways...it ended up about 90mg a day. I would call my supplier and say...idk..give me 10 whites 5 greens. I would say to her...ok..this should do for the week..i'll call you on the weekend for my weekend order. But i'd be calling her two days later because I would snort them all up. So this past weekend..i ran out on Saturday afternoon, 4:30p.m. i did my last snort of 25mg. On Sunday I felt miserable and to make things worse, my supplier said she was too busy to supply me with some. So the entire day and night i just hung around, slept, laid on the bed, felt ****py, and at night..hardly slept. Restless legs, mind, feel miserable. So Monday morning I decided I'd try to wean myself off. So I called my supplier bought only two whites and 1 green (35mg total). Snorted those up....felt good for about 6 hours..then....started feeling miserable..but not horrible. So I thought maybe I could cold turkey. But I also know I needed help. I called my companies Employee Assistance Program...talked to a counselor and they referred me to a Doctor's practice..about a 50 min drive for me. I went there today. They prescribed 8 med's for me to take over the next two days to curb the withdrawl symptomps. Librium for the anxiety, Quinine Sulfate for the muscle cramps, doxepin- an antidepressant) Cata[res- a patch for the jitters, chills, shakes, ambien to help me sleep, baclofen - muscle relaxant, nabumetone - a kind of non-narcotic pain killer for my back pain). Anyways...i took the librium and the muscle relaxant and applied the patch, and the nabumetone. Tonight I am supposed to take about 5 meds. This is a home detox method. Haven't even told my wife. I have to hide my patch on my arm from her for the next 5 days. The Doctor only prescribes 2 days worth of med's and then you have to go back, get a urine sample, and get more prescriptions if needed. However, since I went thru the first 41 hours cold turkey with medium discomfort, I think by 2 days...i'm hoping i can beat the worst of the withdrawl symptoms. I know I have the mental part of it to work on and I plan on seeking help for that too. Guess I finally figured out I"m not superman and have finally shoved aside the macho BS. The insomnia and restlessness at night and the lack of energy is the tough part right now. But hopefully the meds will help me get thru the next couple of days. I have cold turkeyed before and was actually clean for about 8 weeks and then I thought..hey..i can have a few perks now...i won't get addicted again..i'm too smart for that now. BIG MISTAKE! Now I realize I am addicted for life. But I refuse to use my entire life. So i'm taking my first few steps. I don't know what I am going to do about my back pain. Without the pills, my pain is magnified a 100x more. But I'm thinking maybe the withdrawl magnifies that. I dont' know. I dont' have all the answers. Hell, I don't have any answers.
So let me leave you with this. I would truly appreciate your feedback and support. I am 48, hold a good job, great wife and family, well respected in my community. But i realize, pills are not prejudice and I am no different (better or worse) then anyone else. I just have so much to live for...and so much more to lose.
hi what a story i definalty know how you feel i was on pain meds for 2 years straight and i detoxed myself cold turkey at home. the first 3 days were the hardest. all i did was sleep and drink water to help flush out the meds .
after the 3rd day i felt a bit better the phsical withdrawl was over but the mental part was only beginig. I manged to get through it with support...if your interested i have a thread in "featured drugs" called "5 days clean so far....." it tells all about my experience with pain meds and addiction.
I ve been clean now for a month and i feel great and you will too rember withdrwl doesnt last for ever!
you will beat it trust me theres light at the end of the tunnel!
luv n hugs
You should have a look at buprenorphene.Go to www.suboxone.com and read up on it.There is a doctor locator there to and you can get a list of prescribing doctors in your area.Good luck and I hope you beat this because you do have too much to lose....Dave
Thanks for your words of encouragement and support. Am back counting hours again....40 so far but the goodnews....my supplier left the State and now I have no access to any more pills. Hopefully this is what I needed to stay clean. Dont feel so great now but that will change in a few days. The mental addiction is the toughest battle since it's pretty much a life-long one. The withdrawls are temporary..the urge is forever. I need to figure out how I will deal with the mental addiction.
Hope you are well in your recovery. Keep the faith!
I know it's a hard battle as I'm dealing with the prob as we speak. My story is under recognized addiction if u wanna read it. I had went 5 days with nothing and was actually not feeling to bad. Then I got a script for 20 vics which I gave into. Today, I'm back on day 1 again. Its such a vicious cycle isn't it. I dont feel to bad right now but my body feels like dead weight. I hope we can do this! I guess we have no choice huh?
Abbey...I know what you mean. Easy access to pills makes it that much more difficult to stay clean. Fortunately my supplier moved to Florida Monday so I have no access to perks unless I see a Doctor and ask them for some. And I wont' do that because I think inside they know whey I need them, so thats out of the question. But don't you know, I bought some pills from her right up until she drove away from Florida. So I am without pills and have no idea where to access any. I"m not the kind of person who will drive through the "sleezy" parts of our town asking for pills. So I have no choice but to stay clean and fight thru this. It's actually a good choice but not one I think I consciously made. So I hope I never come across another supply of pills because I fear I will use them again.
Perhaps afer a few days when I feel better and I am more energetic, I can get beyond the urge and temptation and focus on more important things in my life.
Hope you do well in your recovery. Day 1 is a start. I will have 48 hours at 5:00 p.m. today. Today and the next couple days will be the hardest I believe. But I guess I'll find out soon enough.
Take care and be strong!
I thought I'd pop in to see how ur doing today? I'm doing farely well, the mental cravings are the worst for me. I have a busy day today so hopefully keeping busy wil help, ya know! Keep in touch, I want to hear how ur doing.
I'm so-so. Thanks for asking Abbey. How are u today?
Just no energy and had a restless night trying to sleep. One would think that after working 14 hours straight, I would be exhausted and collapse and sleep like a baby. But I slept for 4 hours..then tossed and turned the rest of the night.
I'm on day 3 and missing my pills, but luckily I can't get them anywhere. Hopefully the urge and mental part will take care of itself after more prolonged sobriety.
How are you doing today? What do you do to keep your mind off the pills? I miss how much energy I got from them, how sociable I was, more sexual energy, etc. Right now..i'm a blob....lol. Little energy or enthusiasm. Hopefully this will change soon.
Hope you are well. Be strong and stay clean!
i read your story and just wanted to offer some words of encouregment. i relate to how you miss feeling energetic and social on pills, i am that same way. on the worst days of my wd, i didnt even come out of my room for like 3 days. my roommate was very concerned, so were my friends, because that was so unlike me. im tapering off them, and have been doing ok, but like you have been really restless at night and trouble sleeping. ive detoxed many times before (not proud to say that!) my pain isnt so much chronic, but i get injured a lot as a competitive snowboarder, so i keep going on and off them, but i abuse them (take more than prescribed) so i keep getting hooked.
if you are having "restless legs" at night, try increasing your potassium in your diet, i have been eating lots of bananas, sounds crazy but it seems to be helping. i also take klonopin and a soma before bed and that is a life saver. not sleeping is the worst!
the longer you are not taking the pills, the less you'll think about them. as time goes by, you start to forget what the high really feels like and you don't crave it so much. really, the mental part gets better, just hang in there!
"I'd rather be snowboarding."
Thanks for the advice. Am 3 hours away from 3 full days. 5:00 p.m. EST is my target time for each day. I was given some doxepin and librium for the anxiety and restlessness and ambien for sleeping. But when I took a librium and a couple hours later the doxepin, I felt like I was completely doped. The next morning, I didnt' want to get out of bed. But I had to come to work and dont' you know my schedule was jammed and I had to work 14 hours straight. UGH! Longest day of my life I think. My body is achy, my back is killing me, and I can't concentrate here at work. I find myself just trying to do things to pass time other then my real work. I just took a ride in my car to enjoy the beautiful weather and all I thought about while I was driving was the pills and how nice it would feel to crush a few, snort them, and feel normal again. Hopefully, that kind of thinking will be a thing of the past and my energy comes back and I feel normal again without the pills. Luckily, my supplier left the state and I have no access to any unless I want to go to a Doctor and beg for something for my back. And I just can't do that. Too embarrassed just thinking about it. Especially since I"m so close to 3 days. I"m hoping tomorrow I"m a little less antsy and my energy a little better. Time will tell. Just wish I could fast forward a couple of weeks. But I am responsible for my own situation and I guess I'm paying the piper. ( My piper is very rich by now...LOL).
Anway, thanks again. Your words lifted my spirits. Be strong and above all....be clean!!!
Hey there justaguy~
I'm glad to see your stayin clean. It does get easier. I was on day 6 until I had a root canal done today and gave in to a measely 20 vics. SAD! I couldnt get to pharm quick enough and had to pop 4 of them. If I was smart I'd use the 20 for a tapering, but damn I cant control myself when I have them. The mental part is the hardest. I sit and dwell all day and think, If only I had a couple more, or dwell on the feeling. But u wanna know what? I'm not even impressed with the feeling I had when I took the four. Why did I even give in? Now in 2 days I'll be a cryin depressed fool all over again. Whatever u do, try not to give in to temptation, as it will get better, i know its hard to believe but I was actually starting to learn how to do things sober again. When u do give in, u'll wish u hadnt because that feelin just aint what it, and what u dwell it would be. I will keep u in my thoughts. I will look for ur future posts.
Sorry to hear you gave in. I completely understand the entire process. You know in your mind that you shouldn't do any pills, even when given the opportunity. But the voice in your head telling you to go for it, always seems to win out. I'm sure if my supplier was still in the State, I'd be doing some as my willpower just isn't there yet. Maybe when I feel more close to normal and I have more energy will I then be able to fight any future temptation. I just miss the energy and calmness and the social personality it gives me. Maybe I will gain all that back soon when I"m more sober.
Today is day 4. About 88 hours into it. Feeling just slightly better today, but still a bit achy and not much energy. Looking forward to a better tomorrow and day after that.
What strenghty vic's are you taking?
I"m sure you know you will go thru withdrawl symptoms again and so your battle will start all over. I am hoping I am not as lucky (or unlucky depending how you look at it) to come across anymore pills. Yet I find myself constantly thinking about them. Which tells me that if I found some, I'd be snorting them in a heartbeat.
Anyway, keep in touch. I am concerned about your upcoming withdrawl when then vic's run out. Hopefully you have some meds from your Doctor to counteract the withdrawl symptoms.
so glad to hear you are sticking it out! these first days going cold turkey are SO hard. good to hear your dr has given you some meds to ease the wd's. that has helped me a lot. i've been contemplating which is worse, going through this cold turkey or doing the tapering thing. cold turkey the wd's are worse, but you get better FASTER, but then you get so much more sick. on the other hand, when you taper, (which is what im doing) its hard because you have pills, and you are constantly tempted to grab a handful and eat them, get back that "pain free euphoria". always thinking about pills! i hate it. although i woke up the other night, in cold sweats, restless, couldn't stop moving or go back to sleep (i had recently lowered my dose quite a bit, maybe too much for taper) and i took 2.5 mg's of vicoden, not enough to get "high" or even get pain relief, but enough to put me comfortably back to sleep for the rest of the night.
either way, it's a nightmare!
hang in there, and let us know how you are doing!
"I'd rather be snowboarding."
new to site. I here everyone taking about tapering off. i am addicted to vikes and have 18 pills to last 7 days[:0] i have taken 6 hydrocodone es/day for three striaght weeks and i will only take 4 today...at least try. what do i do from there 3,2,1,1/2 or what[?] I have never even tried to taper or even heard of it, but i also hear you talk about thinking of pills and having no fun w/o them. this is where i am and just wanted your help or opinions on my situation.
thanks for any insight,
everyone reacts differently to coming off narcotics, so the taper schedule should really be dependant on how you are feeling. the longer you've been on the meds, the slower the taper should prob. be. a suggestion based on what my dr. has told me --- take 1 pill out every 5 - 7 days until you are down to 1 every other day for a week, then you can stop. the thing is if you only have 18 pills you'll need a quick taper. if you've only been on for 3 weeks this time that shouldn't be too much of a problem.
if you took 4 today and yesterday, then:
3 on sunday
2 on monday
2 on tuesday
1 on wed.
1 on thurs.
1 on fri.
unfortunately, forget about getting high, you have a tolerance, so as you move down, these lower doses prob. wont give you that. but you'd be surprised how little of a dose it takes to keep away the wd's. and yes, like going cold turkey, you will be thinking about pills and wanting them. the mental cravings are just as bad, but the physical wd's are minimal. if you can, have someone else hold your pills and dole out your dosage. the hardest part about tapering is you need the disipline to not grab a handful and take them!
best wishes and good luck!
"I'd rather be snowboarding."
Just thought I'd pop in to see how ur holdin' on? I see u havent typed fpr a few days, and was concerned. Well yes, yesterday was day 1 AGAIN for my wd's. the vics I was taken were only 5mgs, so yes i would take 3-4 at a time, beings my tolerance for the pain part was high. Yesterday, was very hard for me. I was quite depressed all day, and even lastnight and today have some flu symptoms. Puking, aching, restless and just not comfortable. I feel horrible today, and just keep dwelling on how I could be feeling. I hope ur sticking to your guns and not using. Update me and let me know how ur doin'
Hope you are feeling better by now. Sounds like the usual withdrawl symptoms. They are tough to deal with. I haven't been online for a few days because I took a 4 day weekend. I was exactly 6 days straight and for some reason, I used pills over a two day period. I was able to get some which won't happen again as there are no more to be had. At least no where I know of. But it took me two seconds to give in once I knew they were available. So I am now at 51 hours. Really not much in terms of withdrawl symptoms. Just a bit edgy and depressed and still lacking the energy but all in all, not too bad.
I hope you are still clean. By now you should be on day 4 so hopefully you are feeling stronger today and the symptoms aren't so bad. Hang in there. I'm praying for you (and me), and all those others who are fighting this addiction.
Im at 24hours into withdrawal - flu like symptoms, freezing cold yet it's warm out.
I have a half pill left, and it's going to stay there, on top of that closet.
I just spent an hour admitting to a good friend the problem I have, it was very difficult for me as so many of my friends see me as a person with such great strength, having surivived through a really traumatic experience of losing my husband and having to raise my daughter on my own now.
I started my own thread "I have half a pill left", if you'd like to read what I wrote there.
For me this is the reinforcement I need, as I am now looking forward to the the day when I can look forward to an event, like a bbq, or get together with friends without taking that little pill to enhance my mood and feelings.
I wish all of you luck, knowing the withdrawal symptoms are like, you have my sympathy.
It's torture on earth...
I've been thinking of you. Glad to see your not doing bad. Pills always seem to fall in your lap, when ur doing so good. I actually came across more today but will last only 2 days. Its so hard that when your offered a script or know someone, its hard to say no at this point in our game. Ya know what I mean? Anyways, keep up the good work and I'm here if u ever need me. I guess we all are gonna have our down falls once in aawhile, right? is that normal, really? i notice to that if i only use for a couple days then the wd is not so bad, just that mental issue, I havent been able to get ahold of yet. keep in touch!
Outdrlvr....you have my sympathy and understanding of what you are going through. I have cold turkeyed a few times. But recently, I went to a clinic that prescribed med's to ease the withdrawl. Mostly anxiety pills (librium), ambien for sleep, and NSAIDS for my back pain (which didn't do much at all for my back pain). I have to admit, it did help me through withdrawl. Why suffer so much if your withdrawl pain can be controlled. Keep on posting, others will respond and offer you good advice. Just hang in there. The first 3 or 4 days are the hardest then by day 5 I bet you will start feeling better.
Abey...when I read what you write, it sounds like me writing. The withdrawl is almost gone for me. Just a bit antsy at times and still a bit depressed since my "entertainment" (the pills) are no longer around. Now I have to relearn how to be sociable and personable around others without the drugs. I'm sure it will come if I stay clean. The mental part, building the willpower not to give in if I come across some pills, is the tough part. Right now, my willpower is weak and I am vulnerable. Luckily, I have no access to pills unless I went to a doctor and complained about my back or whatever else. And I used to do that but not anymore. I felt cheap when I did that. Even though the backpain was legit, I need to control the pain some other way.
Anyways, I hope you are staying clean. I am now 61 hours clean and feeling ok today. Have a long conference to attend today so that will hopefully help keep my mind off the pills. I have found that drinking lots of water helps flush out the impurities in my system and I actually sleep better and feel better after a few days.
Hang in there! Be strong..and be clean today!
It's day two for me...
I slept well for 6 hours, pretty good - I know the horrors of withdrawal all too well - but this is the first time I've told anyone about it.
I have a wonderful friend who is a professional in helping people in situations similar to mine. I'll be going to spend the day at his place, he has a swimming pool and a whirlpool there. It'll be a great distraction from my obsession.
Im happy to say that half pill remains high up on top of that closet (there's an odd space between the top of that closet and the ceiling... haha, perhaps I've found the reason for it!). I could climb up there, but I was grinning last night at having beaten my enemy. Crazy huh? All this struggle willpower over one stupid tiny half a pill!!! But now I've told someone about it, it has to stay there. I can be stubborn that way.
My friend told me about a friend who has a problem with alcohol, he said he'd keep one bottle of beer in the fridge. For him it was a comfort knowing it was there, but he would never touch it.
Justaguy - thankyou for your response, it's wonderful to know someone is listening, at times support for a person can be that enough in itself.
I spent yesterday feeling sorry for myself, in tears at times, just dealing with the chills and sweats at other times.
I drank lots (litres) of water... anything to help flush this stuff out of my body.
I have been taking some natural supplements, to ease the withdrawal symptoms. I don't know if they're working or not, but at least I don't feel so exhausted. I really don't want to take anything else, I'd rather stick to cold turkey, Im afraid of becoming dependent on something else. I am weak.
Day one for me was the biggest hurdle, it's been a long time since I've had a "Day One", and it feels like a great accomplishment.
It's hard to sit still, Im constantly bouncing my legs, they ache like crazy, not just an ache but like a "charged ache", I guess thats the restless legs that people talk about.
Im glad I slept. I hope I can sleep again tonight.
Im incredibly active, I love backpacking, skiing, being outdoors, but I became scared a week ago because my body was just not handling the exercise the way it usually does. I became wiped out so easily, which made no sense because Im in great physical shape.
I can't wait to be clean and get my life back again.
Have a great day to you all, and may your suffering be lessened, and your will be strengthened.
I've been reading your posts and it seems you have the will power that it takes, that's wonderful. For me it doesnt come that easily. I had started a CT, a couple weeks ago, well it lasted about 6 days then had some dental procedures done which lead to more pills. I did give in and take them only 20. (lasted me two days) I am very disappointed in myself, as u see I actually had started feelin' better. The physical wd's had pretty much left then came the mental part. I deal with depression anyways so I had double depress. I wemt another few days with no pills then bam, had a rootcanal. took more pills for that. As i sit here tonight, I am very down. While I was thinking I had accomplished something with being clean for those 6 days, I thought it was undercontrol just taking a few vics here and there for the dental probs. It has hit me very hard today, that the fact is I have lost control again. I have notta left and will be starting CT once again tomarrow. I'm scared! The physical part will kick in again, after having that part over before now Ive done this to myself again. The cravings are the hardest and learning how to leave the house and socialize even with my own kids without even one pill in me. Ive got to do this. Really, I'm such a agitated witch with my kids and hubby when I am popping pills, why would I want to continue that way? I dont. I need the strength to continue to stay clean and just to make it thru the first 3 days. I admire you for leaving that half there. I never could. Id have to take it thinking okay my as well just pop it, last one left. Stay strong! Thats all I can say as of right now, who am I to say anymore.
I saw your other post on my thread, but I'll respond to you here.
Beleive me, I had the biggest struggle with that half pill yesterday. Today was much easier, as I was out of the house until now, at a dear friends place whom I have told everything about my problem.
I feel like such a loser for letting my life come to this, and I beat myself up harshly over it. I look at my beautiful daugther and think "what kind of a mother am I"... but I realise this happens to many people, and for a strong reason - these pills make you feel great! To begin with, and well as you are well aware it slowly dwindles and then eats away at your life as you chase that wonderful feeling you had when you first started taking them. At least thats how it was for me.
My hubby passed away four years ago, not long after I had started taking these pills. To begin with, actually up until the last four months it was easy to control how many I would take per day, never allowing myself to run out. They took away my grieving pain to some extent, allowing me to function without being so sad all the time. I didnt want anti depressants, been there, done that. Since these magic pills would take away my back pain and make me feel happier well I thought that was great. I knew they were addictive, but I thought I was stronger than that.
I dont know what happened, but last month I found myself looking to feel better, but I wasn't. Slowly I was feeling worse, so I'd take a couple more to feel stronger, but they didn't give the desired effect.
I was really hating the way these pills were taking away my strength. I was horrified to find my heart would race, taking a few steps at a time up that mountain when only the weekend before it had been so easy. I know now it was the drugs.
My friend who is in the professional field, told me today some of the symptoms I've been experiencing of late (rapid heart beat, weight gain, food cravings, etc etc... list goes on), many are related to these drugs.
I can't wait to flush out these toxins, I have been drinking 5 litres of water, plus juice, and taking natural supplements which I beleive has eased the pain a lot for me. Mostly it was the lack of energy that was getting to me, I get very depressed if I don't manage to accomplish many things in a day.
Well.... I don't know about the willpower thing, at the moment it's a case of not being able to get my hands on more than one or two pills, from a friend. That will last at best two days, since before cutting them out entirely I'd tapered down my dose considerably.
Then what... this pain again? No thanks.
Right now is the easy part, I got through day 1, that battle with that half pill. I really considred taking it so I wouldn't have the argument with myself, but dam... this evening I feel so good that it's still there!
In three weeks from now I'll be able to go in and get a prescription. That will be my real test then. It's not easy to get hold of these drugs here, (I live in canada) - or if it is, I don't want to know how.
If I go doctor shopping I have to fess who my family doc is, then reports get sent to him. I don't want to go to the streets to pay for these, that scares me.
So right now it's simple. They just aren't available to me, not unless I go beg my doctor. And I don't want to do that, Im tired of this addiction.
I think that's the key - I really am sick of this trap, and what it's done to my life.
Im cranky on them, I have no patience, I have to take an extra one so I can be nice to someone for a while, then my mood gets worse. Awful.
Every little trauma in my life would be a major disaster, feeling sorry for myself, victimised... aaahhh well I could go on.
Its been a tough four years for me, I had a wonderful marriage that mother nature decided to end for me.
But, I am blessed with my beautiful daughter, and for her, and myself, I will beat this.
Abey, thankyou for responding, and your kind words.
I know you can get through this too. Don't be hard on yourself, beleive me if a doc gave me a handful of pills tomorrow Im not so sure I'd be able to say no either, as much as I'd like to think Im sick of the things.
I have sweats again this evening, and muscle aches. My legs ache like crazy, and Im not looking forward to sleep tonight. It wont come easy (yes, this isn't the first time I have gone through this).
Please feel free to respond, here or on my own thread, for me it's a great comfort to know there's someone out there who can understand, although I wish for neither you or anyone to be in the same boat I am.
Drink lots of water, and do whatever you can to get you through that first day, I know, it's the biggest hurdle because of the physical symptoms.
If you wish to send me an email I can tell you the herbal supplements I take, Im positive they help, for without them I'd be a heaping mess, curled up on my couch. Instead today I got out, went to my friends, swam a few laps in the swimming pool, went for an hour's walk. Usually through withdrawal I barely have energy to turn the computer on, let alone sit here and type.
May peace, and comfort come to everyone here...
End of day two.... "phew"...
Day 4 and feeling better now each day. Back pain is still and issue and bothers me most at night when I lay down to watch TV and then try to fall asleep. I awake about 3:00 a.m. every morning and can't get back to sleep so I get up, watch some tv, have some coffee and begin the day. After cooking dinner when I come home from work and doing the usual cleaning and laundry, by 7:00 p.m. I'm exhausted. My energy is still not up to par but I think that will come back a little bit more each day I stay clean. My thoughts are no longer constantly on pills which is a good thing. I feel today I am at a crossroads and I am really looking forward to tomorrow when I hope to have a bit more energy, get back to the gym and do some house work.
Abey, I hope you find the strength to stay clean again. I know it's a tough battle but I think if you get to day 4 your willpower will be that much greater.
Outdrlvr...you are doing well and after today will be thru probably the most uncomfortable part of withdrawl. Hang in there. You are doing great. Just don't give in. And if I were you, I'd flush the half-pill, afterall, if you took it, would you really feel it anyway? Why not just toss it, instead of it sitting there and teasing you? Calling to you. Dump it and inside you will feel so much better after doing so.
You all be strong this weekend and I hope to find you all clean on Monday as I have no doubt I will be clean today, and hopefully everyday thereafter.
justaguy - you are doing really well too!
You're one day ahead of me! Stay strong..
I know it sounds odd, like a tease, but that half pill gives me more strength beleive it or not. It's a reminder now that I managed to beat it that first day, for me which was the toughest day. I know I wouldn't feel anything if I took it, which is why I had the strength to leave it on day one. Now it's much easier.
I guess now my body finally thinks Im serious, I have stomach cramps, I feel nauseated and my head hurts. But the aches and pains are dwindling.
Ugh, this really sucks doesn't it?
I know I'll feel better tomorrow.
Abey I hope you are reading this, that the kind support you receive here is giving you the strength you need.
We all know it's really hard, but we all know we can do this right?
Hmm. I thought my last two replies were posted but they never made it. Anyway, I am 1 hour away from 7 days. Feeling better each day. Still miss the pills and the effects they had on me in terms of making you more personable and eliminating the boredome but I'll get thru that too. Hope you all are doing well.
Abey dear, how you doin?
Day 6 for me!
Aside from the stomach cramps, and headache I don't feel too bad.
I read somewhere it takes 7-10 days to feel better from these symptoms, so Im looking forward to tomorrow, hoping I wont be disappointed..
I look forward to the day when I can count the months, instead of the days. Although looking back on that day 1 I was counting the hours.
hey there-justaguy, and outdrlvr
Ive been very busy lately, trying to get some remodeling done which an appraiser is coming tomarrow. And guess what? I've been using again. I cant believe I do so well for a couple days then back to popping them again. Of course, I give myself the excuse cuz they give me energy to accomplish the things Ive been having to get done. Its so weirde though. My tolerance had been extremely high, which means Ive been taking even more than I had before....aboout 80 mgs of percs daily. My stress levels have rose since I started using again, and i get so irriated so easily with my kids and hubby as well. I keep telling myself, well this is the only way I can get my work done. I know better than that though, if I would just stick with the ct for at least 7-10 days my energy would come back and I would be able to things sober again, then my nerves would calm as well. My kids prob wonderin been wondering why I'm so short tempered lately, pills do that to me. I took my last one tonight, and I cant get fill till this weekend. I'm not looking forward to it, at all as I know the wd symptoms are gonna be worse. How am I gonna make it thru. I need these to function, it seems. otherwise it about kills me to have to get off the couch, especially when I have chronic pain anyways...back pain. I know tomarroe I'll be crying and depressed wondering if I can even ever make life normal again.
I'm glad u two are doing so good. You two are so strong, I admire you! I dont know if I have that strenghth in me anymore, to quit even if I wanted to anymore. Good luck to both of you. I enjoy reading your posts and u two are really wonderful people to me. Hope to hear from u both real soon. I'll be checking off and on for your posts to me. Please pray for me, I ask the lord to take this addiction from me and to give me the strenghth to be able to live without popping pills everyday, just to feel normal. I just hope one day I can say, I'm a winner. (will that day ecver come for me) this miracle pills have such a hold on me phyiscally and mentally. you both are always in my prayers as well. I hope we can become friends and depend on one another if needed.
Abbey - I will talk to you tommorrow... it is 11pm here for me, and despite having slept most of today, Im still exhausted. I know tomorrow I will be a little bit stronger... day 7 - yes, first time in years for me I have gone a week without painkillers.
The first day is the biggest battle... for me it was. I still have the enemy, that half pill on top of the closet, it's almost a comfort now knowing it's there.. so far I have beat it. But, I wont say this is the end of the ball and chain, there's still a tough battle ahead of me, I know it!
For now all I can say is I wish you peace and strength, and yes, I will be your friend. I know what it's like to need someone who can relate.
Big hug to you, I know it's tough. I wish I had more words of wisdom, but only being a week into clean I don't feel the right to say anything more.... I don't know how much strength I have. For now I feel stubborn, my body has rebelled, demanded, yet my mind has stayed strong - what a war to win.
Peace, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Day 8 and I am feeling so much better each day now. The progress of returning to normal (pill free) seems to be greater each day now. The first few days of wd are the toughest and the progress seems slow during the first four days or so. But what a difference between day 5 and 6 and then 6 and 7, and now 8. I even made it to the gym at 5:30 a.m. this morning. My sleep is improving a little bit each day also. I guess I am fortunate not to have pills readily available to me to give into the urge. But I feel my willpower getting stronger each day also. However, I am also aware that at any moment, I could stumble unknowingly across some pills and that will be the real test.
Outdrlvr....DON'T give up. You are doing tremendous. Just remember the first 5 days of your withdrawl. Do you want to go thru that again? You are through the most difficult part. Believe me, each day that passes, you will feel that much better and stronger. Just don't give in to temptation no matter what.
Abey...I understand your predicament as I was in that situation many times. I am lucky not to have easy access to pills. Although I could call my Doc and ask for some for my back, I always felt like I was deceiving him even though the requests (most of them) were legit. I think your easy access to pills is going to be a problem until you can divorce yourself from them long enough to get clean. You have another wd battle to wage and I hope you can endure these next few days of withdrawl. But if you can hang in till Sat., will you fill the script or do you have the strength to say no? I know how the pills make us feel like super human beings and give us the energy to get thru the day and do our work, but it's all a facade. I am finding my energy returning more and more each day now and I am actually feeling pretty good. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week at 5:30am. I went maybe 5 times the last two months. Today was the first day I felt good and decided to get some exercise at the gym. I feel even better now. I don't know where you will find the strength to toss that bottle or script, but it's the only way to get clean. Easy access to more pills only means you will be doing it all over again. I don't have an answer for you. Eventually only you can decide when you have had enough. I was lucky...I lost my supplier. I hope and pray that you just find a way to beat this once and for all. Believe me, first 3 days are the toughest, afer that it gets a bit easier, and by day 7, you will be feeling so much better. Just get to day 7 somehow. For your sake and your familys. I know you can do it. Do you know you can do it?