[squidius]

Hi MeandMy,

how are you? I fell off and cashed in that prescription, but the good news is, that I am only taking 5 or 6 20's a day vs 2 or 3 80's a day. I am trying to soooooo hard to stop this ****, but it's getting to me and I have a lot of **** going on right now and just want to feel good right now. I am back on the hunt for a dealer in Toronto Canada who sells OXY's. I don't know what to do. I am ready to wheen off these things, but at the same time, I am thinking why not just tame em for another month or so, then get off them...

It's my fight and I am trying to do it right, but it's hard and I don't have any drive to stop right now. This is soooo hard for me.

How are you doing? How is your son and how are you holding up? Are you completely free and clear, or What is happening? I know you were at like 6 days, but where are we now???? I am hoping that your reply is going to be sunny and warm with lots of happines radiating through my laptop screen with your words of success...!

Talk to me Me and my girl, you are my hope!

[meANDmygirl]

well its been a while now and i figured i would check out the site to see how things were going for everyone especially you squidious. It was august that you last sent a reply and you werent doing to good! How are you now? I am doing great it is really wierd for me i dont rely on percs anymore but i have to say my cravings have not gone away and they are on my mind everyday...I am dealing with some stress and of course it is the first thing i want to get my mind off some things [}] I dont know if it every really goes away but it seems as if it just gets easier to deal with.. I'll tell ya though i never want to go through the wd pains every again... that sucked enough just to take them recreationaly. anyway today is a real ****y day for me but i would love to know how you are!!!

trust in yourself

[northvangirl]

Hi,
First I would like to say that I am so happy I found this board, it gives me hope. I am a 31 year old professional female, but I am a functioning drug addict. I have been addicted to Oxycocet (percocet) for 2 years now. At one point I was taking up to 18-20 pills per day, I have weaned myself down to 12 per day but I want to stop taking them all together. My RX is for 4 per day, but I don't want to even take that anymore. I don't know whether to quit cold turkey (my doc advised me not to do this as you can have a heart attack!!) or if I should wean myself down slowly. What kind of side effects should I expect from withdrawal? I know when I go too long between doses I get this feeling of dread, sometimes some slight shaking and an all over ache. Should I take a week off of work and just tough it out at home? I don't know how to do this and I don't have anyone to ask! Any advice would be so helpful. I think I've made an important step in mentally setting my mind to not wanting to take them but I need to actually make the physical step of doing so. I am tired of my whole life revolving around these pills, of feeling so tired and drained all the time. Mostly i just want to be healthy again, I want to feel good without the use of drugs....can someone help me? I did get an RX for lorazapam and clonozapam (anti anxiety pills) when I first thought of doing this to help with the anxiety once I decide to quit all together. As well, I have been prescribed zopiclone to help me sleep. Additionally, when I started talking to my doc about wanting to stop taking them (she isn't aware of the extent of my addiction at all) she put me on effexor, she said that it is a seratonine reuptake inhibitor which will help me withdraw...this is so much drugs in my body!Tell me what I need to do to stop these pills, what I can expect when I quit etc. Thank you so much, and good luck to all of you that are starting, are working on it now, or even considering quitting...

Thanks so much,
northvangirl

[Tim777]

The lorazapam and clonozapam is just another addiction waiting to happen. If you have a monthly prescription for 4 Oxycets a day, I suggest taking them as scheduled, one every six hours. If you need to take a week off work to get used to that dosage and get over what little withdrawals you will experience then do so. And trust me, you may feel like the withdrawals are bad getting used to that dosage, but I go through ninety 40mg Oxycontins & ninety 15mg Oxycodones inside a three week period of time & generally am without, cold turkey, 10 days out of every month. I can tell you about withdrawals so trust me when I say you will get through your withdrawal adjusting to your RX prescribe dosage without issue. You may a few body aches, flu like symptoms. But your withdrawals will subside quicker because you are keeping a certain amount of the drug in your system. And once you have successfully done this, and after an amount of time that you feel comfortable with, ask your MD to reduce the dosage to ween you off the Oxycet. This will be the best way as far as dealing with withdrawals, and besides, what's the hurry. You spent 2yrs abusing, so spend six months slowly weening the proper, safe way. I understand the frustration, but think about this logically.

So take a week to get used to your RX prescribed dosage and when you feel good about it, ask your MD to ween you off.

[battlinperks]

I've been trying to taper down on the perks but today i gave in and went to see a doctor. it was extremely difficult to take 3 (10/350) after taking 30 a day. i started tapering down on thursday and today i was in extreme pain and discomfort so my fiance went on the internet and did some research and found suboxone. we found a doctor that does out-patient and went to see him. he prescribed the suboxone and i have to admit i dont have the urge and i took a few motrins and feel better. the suboxone and motrin helped and now i actually feel that i can quit. the past 3 days were miserable until i took suboxone. the 3 perks a day did nothing for me. i cant say im glad to see that im not the only one with this problem but, it is kinda comforting knowing that there are other people out there going thru the same thing im going thru. its a life-long fight. i fell off the wagon three times already and i hope this is the last time. im trying to start a family and i dont want my kids to have a drug addict for a parent. i work hard and the perks helped me deal with the stress and they were there to keep me company when im the last one in the office working late. but its time we go our separate ways. i wish you all the best with your detox and i hope you win the battle against this disease.

[LORDHELPME7721]

I'd sure like it if people responded more often on here...I see some of the dates and there are several days in between sometimes. Even 24hours or more between posts. For me, this is all I have. and to have to wait such a long time for a reply is unacceptable. Does anybody know of a better board where responses are quick? I know there are tons of peopel just like me looking for somebody to msg back and forth with anonymously about their addictions... So I just want to urge people to reply more! :-) :-)
-LordhelpMe. 60mg hydro/day. clean date xx-xx-xx

[mpvt]

Weaning down on short acting opiates like percocets,or vicodins is useless.Unless you can give them to someone who will dole them out on scheduale.
Suboxone would your best bet with this type of addiction.Good luck.....Dave

[alonenomore]

Dear LORDHELPME..i just found this site last night or should i say early this morning while up all night doing Lortab and Adderall, waiting for dealer to get her oxy on tues morning so i can get my favorite ones. I have been battling pain pill addiction off and on for 20 years now, i am spending SO MUCH money, my husband is going to notice soon, and i am having to take more and more to feel normal. I am not myself, dont even know myself. I was pursuing my dream of obtaining my master's in social work and was even in an advanced one year program and guess what? i self destructed myself out of grad school! While on amphetamines and opiates. I can get by if i don't use the amphetamines which are usually my daughters (which she really needs and her mother steals them, GREAT), sometimes my dealer has Dexedrines, but anyway i am scared and tired of lying and hiding and going to the ATM and swallowing so many flipping pills. I was even snortin the oxy 40s sometimes. I have now heard of Suboxone and am very interested in going that route. My husband and doc have weaned me off once last november, and my husband did again just about six weeks ago, lasted two f...ing days.

[LORDHELPME7721]

thank you alonenomore for the reply...glad you found the site...you should keep posting and keeping yourself in check. what is amphetimines?
What is with this suboxone craze? I see it alot but I really hate to replace my addiction. I dont know. I should probably have more faith in technology i guess. I think its a good thing though for people who really WANT to quit and for people who are really deeply addicted to a large magnitude of their drug of choice.
MPVT, why do you say that weaning is useless? It seems logical to wean, but maybe you are right for most it is just fooling ourselves!

[Junkie781]

hey lordhelpme:

I don't know if you're still paying attention to this thread and I just found it this moment, but I thought I'd reply and just tell you that I know how you feel.....I've been taking a similar amount of OC and Oxy's for a long time and I stopped using last Friday, haven't had any since then, just.starting.to.feel.better....I've drank a bit in those days and this morning I burned a roach (marijuana) to calm myself down, but I also reached out to my substance abuse counselor and I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 8:00am....baby steps....anyway....

[steve sponaugle]

Attention Deficit Disorders are also often present, in opiate dependence, and require treatment, when present.

Lunesta and Ambien can be very helpful for insomnia. Severe rebound insomnia sometimes requires Seroquel.

Ferritin, serum iron and transferrin should be measured, to rule out iron malabsorption.

BEWARE OF DEALERS AT NA MEETINGS

I actually recommend AA, instead of NA, for opiate dependent people -Since alcohol can be legally purchased, alcohol dealers do not frequent AA meetings and opiate dealers are seldom there looking for customers.

Sometimes it is possible to find an NA program hosted, by a treatment program, which allows outsiders to participate. Since many programs are in locked units, with their own security, these settings do not attract as many dealers. (Most dealers do not want to be locked inside a meeting room, with security officers who have handcuffs and arrest authority - It reminds many of them, of prison and jail) AA is the only 12 step meeting available in many small communities, and they understand this and are usually tolerant of other chemically dependent people, who want 12 step fellowship and support.

[lightangel79]

I have been on percocet for a long time now for constant chest pain (sometimes it gets so bad i feel like i'm having a heart attack). I typically take 3 a day, but cut down to 2 a day, and then off completely for three days now and i feel horrible. I cant sleep at night, i feel like i have these electric volts going through my body constantly. The doctor perscribed me with more, so i'm thinking i will need to wean off them properly (taper down from 2 a day to 1 a day, and then half or something?) because this not sleeping at night for three nights in a row is getting silly. My husband has been extremely understanding, and i think he's the only one who understands the pain i have to endure each day. After this month, i am planning on weaning off completely, i feel like i can do it but i dont get what this electric shock feeling through my arms and legs all the time is about. I have to keep moving! I guess the question i had for whoever can answer this for me is...if i taper off to halves instead of a whole pill (eg: 1 to half and then down to nothing) will that work? I decided to post this because its 4 in the morning now and i still cant sleep. I dont feel the ache all over the body thing so much anymore, but the insomnia really does stick around! Does anyone know how i can help that? I tried talking sleeping pills (regular tylenol pm) but it seems to make the "electric shock" feeling worse. Any suggestions? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you,

Nikki.

[mpvt]

Hang in there Nikki you're almost through the worst of it.I'm copy the Thomas Recipe for you.After about the fifth day you will really notice a turn around in how you feel.Start drinking the sport drinks and take lots of hot hot baths.and follow the recipe as best you can.Keep posting,you can do this!!!!!!!.......Dave

Pain, Addiction & Withdrawal Support
> The Thomas Recipe for Cold Turkey Withdrawal
PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
THOMAS RECIPE
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
Thomas [/i][/b]

[lightangel79]

Hi Thomas,

I am already on the vitamins you mentioned in your method, i take them everyday and have noticed a drastic improvement in the withdrawl process. In fact, the "electric shock" feeling in my arms and legs is no where near as bad as it was when i have withdrawled in the past without taking any vitamins whatsoever. Unfortionately, i have a serious but very rare genetic blood disorder called Acute Intermittent Porphyria. It basically means that i'm allergic to a lot of medication (like the others you mentioned for depression and anxiety). So i have to go about this in the more natural way, because if i take that medication i would have an acute attack which can easily and most likely lead to death (resperatory failiure). Thank you for your response, and i will use the taper off slowly method as well, until i am down to half a pill a day and then nothing. I'm sure it wont be as bad as i think, like you said, with each day it gets a lot better i have noticed that your body naturally fights toxins so each time you wean down its not as bad. Thank you for your help and support, i want to be off these things and find another route if i can, a safer route, something i can live with.

Nikki.

[typicalgirl]

Hi all,
I am a new member to this forum and have looked over all of the posts on here because, before today, I was battling a drug addition by myself. Actually, my husband had caught me almost a year ago snorting perks and flipped out. That night I was ready to quit just so I wouldn't lose him or my family. However, after only two days of not sleeping I snuck and started right back up. I would make up lies to go to the store just so I could snort a pill. I would sneak at work because I knew that I risked the chance of getting caught at home supporting my addiction. You see it all started a while back when my Dad started getting a script for 120/mo. I take care of him and realized that he could not take 4/day without being out of it. (At least that is what I told myself. Looking back I now realize that there has been several times where I did not give him any at all because I took them all.) I made him go through what I am now on several occasions without even knowing it. Nice-huh!
Anyway, I would tell myself that it was just a recreational thing and that I could stop at any time, but I soon found out that the feeling of being high, being more socialable, having more energy, more sexual and all of the other things along with it was taking over my life. In addition to all of the positives there were negatives. I became mad at my husband for trying to make me quit something that made me feel so good. I later realized that after I would snort a perk, I would get very mean and agitated with the people I loved, but mostly because they would not allow me to do what I was doing. Again, still hiding the addiction from everyone- including myself! This New Years, my husband and I sat down to evaluate how far we have come in our relationship and why we were falling apart. I was treating him very mean, sneaking around just so I could have energy or feel good. At that point I decided to use the taper method and slowing wing myself off. Bad idea! I would try to only take 3 a day, then 2...but for one reason or another I found that if I didn't take all 4 then there were going to be extra and had the chance to take another one later. Since they were there in front of me I had no control of slimming down.
So, my husband was able to get a great job about 2hrs away and I started looking for one in the area as well so we could move closer. We, as luck would have it, I found a GREAT job, until I found out that I had to pass a hair test. AHHHH! I have spent over $300 on quick fixes to detox my body and hair just to get this wonderful position. Somewhere in the mix, I knew that I would have to quit for at least a week to have a chance of passing. That is when I started researching and found this forum.
I have looked over it several times before I decided to send a post. However, I have to say that I don't feel so alone anymore. This also has given me the courage to tell my husband. (I told him today over the phone.) I also took my Dad, and his pills, to an aunt's house while I am battling the wd's since I am not strong enough to say no. Yesterday I was at 24hrs when I had to have one more. Afterwards, I felt like ********************! I took all of the things used to keep this addiction a secret and threw them out the window going down the freeway so I could not go back. That is also when I realized that I could not have them in my face everyday.
So, today at 3, I will be at 24hrs. I have been taking the detox pills from NutraClean and still feel like ********************. I doubt that I pass the hair test now, but at least in the end me facing that I have an addiction was worth not passing. I just don't know how to subside the wd's. I went to the doctor yesterday and made up this story that I was in an accident and needed something to relax my muscles. I also asked for something to help me sleep since the pain from this made up accident was unbearable. I don't know what I would have done if she gave me perks or even another narcotic. I am thankful that she didn't even though deep down inside I was mad at her too for not giving me what I really wanted.
Anyway, I already take requip for RLS and today the doc has given me Diazepam for sleeping and cyclobenzaprine for the muscle pain as I have taken at least 4-5 hot baths a night just to feel normal. Not saying that I have slept at all yet. Some of the drugs listed on this forum must be prescribed by a doctor and I don't want to tell a doctor. If I do I think that they will flag your chart forever. Maybe I should so I never have to deal with this again, but don't want to as I believe that they would always look down upon me. This is the same reason why I didn't want to tell my husband, but thankfully he is going to help me work through it. Unfortunately for me is that he is only home two days out of the week until I can find a job closer to him. Not much for support, but not his fault.
So, this is all that I have. Today is Thursday and I am now at 24hrs. Hopefully by Monday I will be able to have the energy to go back to work. (Remember I made up the lie that I was in an accident so I could get meds and stay home.) I'm not feeling too bad right now, but I know that the worst is still to come. I still have to attempt to sleep tonight.
I don't feel that I am a bad person regardless of all of the people that I have hurt in the process of my addiction. I think that taking the step to eliminate the pills and taking the step and actually saying that I have an addition is a lot. Any advice anyone is able to give would be greatly appreciated. Good luck to all battling this fight on their own because I have been there.

[typicalgirl]

Hi again,
There have not been any posts since my last one yesterday, but I had to write that I am still on track. As of right now I am at 51hrs clean from perks. My body feels so weak even though I am taking B-12 Vitamins to help boost my energy levels. Also remember that I am going through the Nutra Cleane program so I don't know if I am getting a "double whammy" at the same time. I can't really eat anything because of the Nutra Cleane system they only allow you to eat steamed veggie and either baked or grilled chicken, fish, or turkey. Oh, by the way it cannot be anything prepackaged due to sodium levels. I guess this is one of those times when you sit back and actually see what you have done with your life.
Putting my body through all of this hopefully will keep me off of them. I don't EVER want to feel like this again. I was, however, able to sleep a little bit after taking more than the recommended dose of the sleeping pills my doc gave me. It cannot be healthy, but not sleeping just keeps my energy levels down.
I really wish someone would post something on here because this is the only way that I can get all of this out. Remember my husband is not at home during the week so I feel as if I am battling all of this by myself. Don't get me wrong he does call when he can, but I don't want my problems worry him while he is away and helpless. Does anyone know how long this feeling lasts? I seen in previous posts that you feel better after the 4th day, but all of the clinic ads online state that it will take six weeks. SIX WEEKS!!!! Who actually has that amount of time just to take off work? Maybe that is why you only see celebs going to clinics. The rest of us must suffer at home and try to hold back the temptation. Does this may us stronger...maybe!
You see, yesterday, I took all of the pills out of the house so that I could not access them. Lately I really have only wanted them at night so I could get back to sleeping normal. I have attempted to take myself off them little by little, but that didn't work as my mind would know that there would be extra and nobody would notice.
So here I am quitting cold turkey. Trust me when I say that I do not want to go back and relive this experience all over again as I see so many do. I am hoping that this pain will remind me of how much control one little pill has over my body. Never again!!!!
I hope that someone will at least reply to this message to keep me strong because as I said before I really don't have any support group during the week.

[jeannie9899]

I have been reading everybody's post for a couple of days now. My husband admitted himself into a detox clinic this morning to get off of Percocet. What a terrible drug to come off of. We have both been taking them for three years. He also has other additions such as alcohol and felt that he needed extra help. I am going to try to do this with all of your help. I have the worse leg cramps ever and broke down and took something tonight. I guess you can say I am trying to wing myself. It doesn't work... I have been there and done that. So NO MORE!!!! I need each and everyone of you right now. I have to get through the first five days....... I did it in August and I know I can do it again! This things has taken sooo many things from my family! Say a special little prayer for me tonight and I will keep you all posted tomorrow! Hugs to each of you and good luck with your struggles as well! Oh by the way, I talked to my husband tonight and the doctor put him on Suboxone and he says he feels great. Even commented that he feels like going to the Gym.... he hasn't taken any percocents since Friday. I am glad he is over the worse part, but a part of me is jealous!!! I want to be that far out! Jeannie9899

[jeannie9899]

Good luck! I am just starting my journey and could also use your support! Maybe we could be there for each other! My husband is in detox right now and will be until the doctor thinks he is able to come home. I will be saying a special little prayer for you tonight! HUGSSSSS

[msmarsha41]

Originally Posted by jeannie9899

Good luck! I am just starting my journey and could also use your support! Maybe we could be there for each other! My husband is in detox right now and will be until the doctor thinks he is able to come home. I will be saying a special little prayer for you tonight! HUGSSSSS

...hi i really dont know why i chose this one to reply because i usually dont but i think that the support that u have your husband is great and pleas dont ever give up on him,you cannot afford to if u truly love him.what he is going through is not easy by any means.addiction is a terrible disease and beleive me it is a disease,like cancer,the only differnce is that u can to attemp to control it on your own and its not easy at all.its horrible,the withdrawls are one thing,but staying clean is all together a different story,allthough he's lucky he has you for support most of us have to go it alone.and i could never tell u just how hard it is to begin with,if you have'nt been through it you'll never know but just know that he needs all of your support,without giving up.please never give up on him ,if he truly dont wanna be on the pills no more never give up on him.i just hope that he is truly done.most of us addicts go through many times of saying that were done and dont want to do it no more but the smallest thing can send us right back into it,if u have a bad day u think "i've had a real bad day i need to relax ,after the day i've had i deserve it"thats all it takes and there we go again saying all over,forgetting how hard it was to detox,the pure hell we went through,wishing we could die because it's just too hard to do,all thats quickly forgotten,then we think well one pill wont hurt ,then her we go again.this will never be easy i'd be lying to you if i told you that it would be. so keep doing just what you are doing and suport him in every way that you can and remember that after detox comes a very delicate stage,you almost have to try real hard to keep him happy or whatever you have to do but he's real delicate rite now the smallest thing can reverse everything that he's done,just be patient and with gods help he can kick this for good,i hope that he does and i hoe that he realizes what a good wife that he has,for being so suppotrive,most people would choose to give up rather than go through this but just be stong for him he really needs it rite now.pray for him and have him ask god every day to give him the strengh to make it another day and to thank him for every good day that he has thats important it has helped for me. and for you,why didnt you go to treatment with him ? i know that you need to also,and then you wouldnt have to be envious of him because he feels fine and you dont.and dont be hard on yourself because you had to take something,its all part of recovery,and so is relapse,this is something that you both are gonna have to do together.one CANNOT use and the other wanna stay clean,it will NEVER work,work together and recover together.and as far as the suboxone goes it is a great drug.i wish i couldve been kept on it but it is VERY expensive,and most insuance wont cover it,so he's lucky for that,but i think u need it too.u have no cravings on that drug. oh and the leg cramps girl do i feel your pain it's sooo bad you just wanna jump outta yor skin,i considerd suiside it was soooo bad i couldnt takt it and i dont know anyone who when they feel like that ,wouldnt take a pill tp fix it,its pure hell!,,,well hang in there my prayers are with you both..marsha

[msmarsha41]

Originally Posted by typicalgirl

Hi again,
There have not been any posts since my last one yesterday, but I had to write that I am still on track. As of right now I am at 51hrs clean from perks. My body feels so weak even though I am taking B-12 Vitamins to help boost my energy levels. Also remember that I am going through the Nutra Cleane program so I don't know if I am getting a "double whammy" at the same time. I can't really eat anything because of the Nutra Cleane system they only allow you to eat steamed veggie and either baked or grilled chicken, fish, or turkey. Oh, by the way it cannot be anything prepackaged due to sodium levels. I guess this is one of those times when you sit back and actually see what you have done with your life.
Putting my body through all of this hopefully will keep me off of them. I don't EVER want to feel like this again. I was, however, able to sleep a little bit after taking more than the recommended dose of the sleeping pills my doc gave me. It cannot be healthy, but not sleeping just keeps my energy levels down.
I really wish someone would post something on here because this is the only way that I can get all of this out. Remember my husband is not at home during the week so I feel as if I am battling all of this by myself. Don't get me wrong he does call when he can, but I don't want my problems worry him while he is away and helpless. Does anyone know how long this feeling lasts? I seen in previous posts that you feel better after the 4th day, but all of the clinic ads online state that it will take six weeks. SIX WEEKS!!!! Who actually has that amount of time just to take off work? Maybe that is why you only see celebs going to clinics. The rest of us must suffer at home and try to hold back the temptation. Does this may us stronger...maybe!
You see, yesterday, I took all of the pills out of the house so that I could not access them. Lately I really have only wanted them at night so I could get back to sleeping normal. I have attempted to take myself off them little by little, but that didn't work as my mind would know that there would be extra and nobody would notice.
So here I am quitting cold turkey. Trust me when I say that I do not want to go back and relive this experience all over again as I see so many do. I am hoping that this pain will remind me of how much control one little pill has over my body. Never again!!!!
I hope that someone will at least reply to this message to keep me strong because as I said before I really don't have any support group during the week.

the real bad part is the not sleeping im in my 3rd day and im so tired of tossing and turning,praying to god i'd fall asleep.but this is by far my 1st time but im hoping my last.i've been trough it do many times and 6weeks is soo not true every day that you go,it gets better,just get up and find something to do besides lay aroud,get outta the house do anythig,you will feel better by getting up and doing thins i know you dont feel like it but make youself and before you know it youll start to get better and just think that every hour or day that goes by is another that yove made it and and keep going for another day or hour and refuse to reset your time,just think of starting over and thats the worst part.good luck and keep in touch please,,marsha

[jeannie9899]

Marsha, thanks so much for your comment. My husband is doing just great. I went to my doctor today and had a heart to heart with her about my problem. She gave me a precription for 14 percocet to take two a day for seven days and then I go back to her. BUT when you have been doing 12-14 a day it is going to be very hard to just do 2 when you have them right at hand.... ya know what I mean? yesterday I didnt have but one so I was able to do it! but she is also referring me to the doctor that my husband is seeing to get the Suboxone, so hopefully this will help me too. I am just wondering how hard it is to come off of the Suboxone. I did talk to my husband this morning and he is doing very good. Feeling great and ready to come home now. I told him that I know it's hard but he really needs to stay in there as long as he needs too. I love him so much and want him to be successful and I dont want to let him down either. Keep praying for me and you too are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeannie

[typicalgirl]

Jeannie and Marsha,
My last post on this thread has been a while ago because before me it seemed as if nobody really would reply. So I have been posting notes on the thread called Painkiller Addiction, which has helped out a lot, as they seem to reply a little more there.
Anyway, right now I am in the 6th day and feel better already. I didn't tell my doc what was going on, but was able to get some sleeping pills and muscle relaxers for the shocks that were going through my body. I tried to walk a little yesterday and it seemed to suck the life out of me.
Today has absolutely been better, never thought that I would say that. But once you reach and achieve day 5 you will start seeing your old self come out again. I understand that some people are more fortunate to go and get on the new suboxone, but again I didn't want to tell my doctor. Nonetheless, the only way I was able to make it through all of the pain myself was to give myself small goals.
For instance, once I made it to day 5 I treated myself to a nice steak dinner. My next goal is to make it to two weeks. (I extended the goal since the wd's are not that bad now) Once I do, then I will congrat myself with something else.
You see, my situation is difficult as I must have these pills in the house everyday so I may give them to my Dad-who is 90yrs old. So, everyday 4x's a day, I have to hold one of these pills and remind myself of the pain. If I start thinking that I can take one without getting addicted- well that is how this all started in the first place. I have to be strong for myself and my Dad and I don't want him to go to an assisted living place just because of my problems. I have hurt him too much already.
So, I will battle the mental cravings day to day and hope and pray that the misery with last in my mind to stay clean. I understand how hard it is to battle this on your own with noone to turn to. Believe me when I say that it does get better as the days go by, even if those days last forever.
In closing, for today, my suggestion is to set small goals and reward yourself on a job well done as each day is an accomplishment. You all are in my prayers and I will check this thread, and the other, daily just to help me stay strong.

[lovemywife]

Kudos to all of you battling this horrible disease! Let me first say that I'm not the one battling this addiction, my wife is! I sit here in tears reading your pain and desire to battle against this horrible dilemna. I met my wife over 3 years ago, as we were both going through divorces. To say we found our soulmates would be a gross understatement. When we met and moved forward in our relationship we could easily share with one another the dreaded "skeletons in our closet" w/out fear of rejection. It was so magical and undescribable the feelings we have for each other. My wife battled coccaine addiction 6 years ago, hit bottom, and put herself through rehab, as she realized she would end up dead if not. She told me of this stage in her life and I felt so proud of her. However, after many months...I was noticing frequent trips to the bathroom which had me concerned. My wife is a "looker" to say the least and has a perfect figure, one of envy! I was concerned that she was bilemic (think that's the term) as I thought she was making herself throw up. I confronted friends of hers about my concern and they said they never saw her doing such, which helped soothe my fears. I then confronted her about it, and she assured me that she was not doing that! Yet the trips continued...whether out w/ friends in public, sitting at home watching a movie, out partying, (drinking and dancing) she would disappear for 10--15 minutes every time. I would get so confused and wander why in the middle of a movie that I know she was enjoying, or whatever the situation was, she would tell me to not pause it, she'd be right back. Finally one day she made the mistake of leaving her purse in the bathroom, and I rummaged through it. I wandered what was going on. To say my heart sank, and the most empty feeling I've ever felt in my life flooded over me again is an understatement! I found a dollar bill rolled up tight like a straw w/ white powder in it, a credit card with white powder on the edges, and a pill crusher with a razor blade attached to it, along with a few pills. I detested drugs, and told her as much so many times during our courting....told her if I ever found out she was using drugs I'd be gone so fast! I had previously dated a girl who I found out was doing drugs and watched the wrecklessness in which she lived searching for OC's and anything to snort, and vowed to never let that be something anyone I was going to date be allowed to do. She knew this, as I constantly brought it up. I've never seen coke before, or too many drugs, other than "weed", so I was sure she was doing coke again. I didn't say anything at first, but she knew something was wrong immediately. All I had to say was "you shouldn't of left your purse sitting in the bathroom". She was speechless and I could see the desperation on her face. I accused her of doing coke, and she promised me that wasn't what it was. To make a long story short...I became enlightened in an instant what percocet addiction was. In no uncertain terms..I told her if she wanted me to stay, she had to quit right then and there cold turkey! I knew nothing of the side effects or severity of the addiction, and honestly at that point didn't care! I made her call all her contacts in her phone in front of me and told them they better never contact her again. I was a prick to say the least. She was doing 10-12 a day..but snorting them. (That's the only thing I haven't noticed on this thread, is everyones level or method of the addiction, taking them orally or crushing and snorting...as I would be anxious to know) She did not have a script for them...was paying street value for them, $5 a pill. You do the math...about $1800 a month. We weren't hurting for money, so I didn't notice the money side of it. That later became a sore spot for me. This was 2 years ago that I found this out. Where are we today?
I never left...although threatening to do so. We have detoxed successfully together 2 prior times...but not completely or properly. I controlled the pills and gave her the necessary dosage to wean herself off them and would always take 3-4 days to do so. But after time, I would give in to her discomfort and allow her to do "JUST ONE" to help her out, so I thought. Both times, it led to her being fully addicted again through a short period of time. I had an accident at work, and to deal with the money end of things and not wanting to see $1800 a month go out the window, was able to convince the doctor to prescribe me percocet for the injuries, although not needing to take them, as I deal with pain much better. I am prescribed 180 a month, 6 a day, and she takes them all still. She has told me that this addiction to percocet is far worse than her coke addiction was to kick. She said that coke was a mental addiction, and percocet is a physical addiction. She is the greatest mom I've ever seen, of 3 boys, who have no clue what is going on. The greatest wife I could ever hope for! And the most beautiful woman I've ever known! But all told, she will tell you she's not half the person she even was when we met. She doesn't spend the time with her children they deserve, and now me, and yet it's enough for us to survive! She's killing herself slowly and she knows it! We both know it! She finally again realized that it was time to once and for all overcome this addiction and detox completely, FINAL! Both times we've been able to do so with valium, to help knock her out and sleep (which we found on the street) but taking them on a prescribed basis. Also I am prescribed Xanax, and Flexiril for my prior injury. I moderate her drugs for her and wean her down off the percocet slowly, so her body doesn't go in to shock and have the severe w/drawals. She is currently sleeping, starting day 3 of detox at home, and we're hopeful of having her back on her feet in 2 more days. No one knows of her battle or addiction in the family, so we are there for each other. We fought a lot over this addiction and what it was doing to our marraige, knowing we would never abandon each other know matter how rough it was on the other person. However...I miss my wife tremendously! I miss the person I know she really is and capable of being again! She misses that person as well! WE WILL WIN THIS BATTLE THIS TIME...it's my deepest wish! I just wanted to write and join this forum to be of any support or help I could be to any of you! I never FULLY understood this addiction til tonight...reading all of your posts! I feel I was less of a person for not understanding it completely! I was selfish to see how this addiction was effecting me and the boys, rather than it was her and her battle! I am deeply sorry for that! My thoughts and well wishes are with all of you...and I know that just like all of you who have fears of not being able to come forward or get the easiest treatment available (Seboxin) to overcome it, that you CAN do this! Make sure you have the closest person to you that you can confide in...show them this thread....make them help you...as you can't do it alone. We've failed twice, having one another! I couldn't imagine not having someone to help you through this. And yes I do feel your pain and anguish of not being able to tell a doctor about your addiction because of black marking you, or inisisting you check yourself in to a treatment center, in which most of can't afford either financially or socially! If I can be your rock or stregnth...I will, and I know my wife will as well when she's on her feet again. I will monitor this thread closely...and think of you all! Please do the same for us! We all need each other! If you have any questions, I'm here...if you need to talk, I'm here! I am so thankful I googled this addiction and found all of you tonight!

Lovemywife's husband forever,
Ed

[msmarsha41]

Originally Posted by jeannie9899

Marsha, thanks so much for your comment. My husband is doing just great. I went to my doctor today and had a heart to heart with her about my problem. She gave me a precription for 14 percocet to take two a day for seven days and then I go back to her. BUT when you have been doing 12-14 a day it is going to be very hard to just do 2 when you have them right at hand.... ya know what I mean? yesterday I didnt have but one so I was able to do it! but she is also referring me to the doctor that my husband is seeing to get the Suboxone, so hopefully this will help me too. I am just wondering how hard it is to come off of the Suboxone. I did talk to my husband this morning and he is doing very good. Feeling great and ready to come home now. I told him that I know it's hard but he really needs to stay in there as long as he needs too. I love him so much and want him to be successful and I dont want to let him down either. Keep praying for me and you too are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeannie

hi jeannie how are u doing? better i hope. and how is your husband? is he home yet?hopefully he stayed till he knew he was ready, but are you ready for him to come home? you really have to get control of your problem before you can deal with his.
I heard you say that you went to the DR. and told her your problem,well i'm glad that you did that,now maybe she wont give you as many but the problem with you holding on to the pills youself is that theyre probably aready gone,theres no way that you can keep them on you and not take more than you know you should. i know you have good intentions and say yhat your only gonna take 2-3 a day but thats unrealistic,you cant do it alone,but if you have great,but i know me,i could never do it either i have them or i dont ,theres no taking only a couple,i know that it sounds good but it hard to do. maybe you can find someone (not your husband)hold them for you and make sure they only give you 3 a day max then 2,but thats if you have someone who lives close and knows what you are going through. that you can trust......god i hope you can do this but in your house thres two of you going through the same thing,thats tough,both trying at the same time.hopefully you guys can make it through this ********************...........anyway i didnt make it i had someone bring me some vicoden for a dollar a peice and i couldnt say no..i have no willpower.so im gonna have to start this withdrawl ******************** again....i know you are probably thinking what does she know about this when she still does it,weel i've been doing this for 14 years.i have grat advice on how to stop and all that but if you are not ready you will never stop...ever..till you are ready,and if you are doing it for someone else it will never work either,i just hope to god both of you are ready to stop....well jeannie please keep me posted im curious how your husband is doing. keep trying..stay strong.& keep praying that really helps,..w/b marsha

[msmarsha41]

Originally Posted by typicalgirl

Jeannie and Marsha,
My last post on this thread has been a while ago because before me it seemed as if nobody really would reply. So I have been posting notes on the thread called Painkiller Addiction, which has helped out a lot, as they seem to reply a little more there.
Anyway, right now I am in the 6th day and feel better already. I didn't tell my doc what was going on, but was able to get some sleeping pills and muscle relaxers for the shocks that were going through my body. I tried to walk a little yesterday and it seemed to suck the life out of me.
Today has absolutely been better, never thought that I would say that. But once you reach and achieve day 5 you will start seeing your old self come out again. I understand that some people are more fortunate to go and get on the new suboxone, but again I didn't want to tell my doctor. Nonetheless, the only way I was able to make it through all of the pain myself was to give myself small goals.
For instance, once I made it to day 5 I treated myself to a nice steak dinner. My next goal is to make it to two weeks. (I extended the goal since the wd's are not that bad now) Once I do, then I will congrat myself with something else.
You see, my situation is difficult as I must have these pills in the house everyday so I may give them to my Dad-who is 90yrs old. So, everyday 4x's a day, I have to hold one of these pills and remind myself of the pain. If I start thinking that I can take one without getting addicted- well that is how this all started in the first place. I have to be strong for myself and my Dad and I don't want him to go to an assisted living place just because of my problems. I have hurt him too much already.
So, I will battle the mental cravings day to day and hope and pray that the misery with last in my mind to stay clean. I understand how hard it is to battle this on your own with noone to turn to. Believe me when I say that it does get better as the days go by, even if those days last forever.
In closing, for today, my suggestion is to set small goals and reward yourself on a job well done as each day is an accomplishment. You all are in my prayers and I will check this thread, and the other, daily just to help me stay strong.

how are you doing??hopefully good.me i've been better i messed up AGAIN! but im used to it ive been goin thruogh this for 14years,and it dont get any easier,its getting harder....i cant imagine trying to quit and have to have them in your house but what can you do,send him away because you are weak and cant control yorself? i cant imagine i know what your going through,i would try to quit and my husband would have an injury or something and next thing i know ..there gone and he's in pain,talk about feelin like ********************,but i dont think that you can help it.ii dont think that theres an addict out there whos been in that position and didnt help thereself,so dont beat youself up about it,i just wish i could tell you what to do about that.did you say you had some clean time? whats the longest youve ever made it??
you made it through the first 3 days and thats the hardest,after that it gets a little easier.but i have heard alot of good things about suboxone,i just wanna know if you have withdrawls from them when you stop.i dont know.......but i do know that if you are really seriuos the first step is tellig your doctor,to make sure you dont get any more,but thats only if your serious about quitting, keep up the good work and always praise yourself for every hour or day that you've made it...w/b soon marsha

[typicalgirl]

msmarsha41,
I am still on track regarless of how bad I wanted one yesterday. I am waiting on the hair test to come back and it is stressing me out so bad that I just want to feel good. I don't think that I am going to get it even though it is super important for my husband and I, so I am going into a depression state. Actually, I don't know if it is just because I am so mad at myself for not getting the job because of the addiction or the fact that nothing seems to go my way. When is it time to catch a break?
It seems as if I decide to go the straight and narrow and all of the reprocussions are coming back on me still. What is the use of not doing what I want if I am still pentilized?
I am staying strong just because of the wd's and the fact that I don't want to go through them again, but I was wondering- in my mind- that if I only take one that I will not go through the pain again. I didn't want to chance it as that is how it all started, but feel like ******************** either way.

[typicalgirl]

Hi again,
I was just reading my last post a couple of days ago and realized how angry I was about the whole situation. So, I recieved my call today and actually got the Job! Looking back, I just kept on praying and hoping that this new revolution was starting my life clean. Since I am now going to move, I am not going to have my Dad move with me and away from the family so the temptation of the pills are going to be gone as well. Not that I am happy that I will no longer take care of my father or anything, but I am releaved that I do not have to battle the mental cravings when it is so very easy to take just one.
Luckily, I have not slipped up yet, but think that the only reason I have not is because of the way I felt. I have to say, in my experience, that I had to go through the hell week to keep me away. I think that if I would have taken the Subs and not really have had to dealt with the reprocussions of the drug then I would have been more eager to go back to my old lifestyle.
So, tomorrow will be two weeks clean for me and I am feeling so much better. Just hang in there because the benefits at the end of the road are worth it.

[kinjiro]

I had a triple bypass last year. Since the surgery I had what they call phantom pains. They put me on percocet. After taking these for awhile. I ran out and had access to plenty of oxycontin. I was using them as a replacement, but thought I could control it. However; I quit and started feeling pretty bad. After searching the internet; I decided to check oxycontin withdrawl and found that I had 2 or 3 of the symptoms. After reading more into this, I searched for how to detox. I found this forum while searching and decided to make a post. I'm going to try the reduction method as you guys have been discussing. I cant go to the hospital due to no insurance, job, and almost no home. Long story, but it happened. Some very incredible posts. I realize none of us are bad people, and we all have feelings. If we didn't, we would not be telling about ourselves. This evening I took 1 oxycontin as to try to cope with the issues above. I don't feel great, but I can deal with it. In the morning it will be different. I will take a percocet in the morning and try to make it 4 to 6 hours. I don't know how to get past the sweating in front of people, but I will make it through. Untill tomorrow. May god bless all of you.

[losingmymind8888]

my daughter is coming off of perocets. She did the suboxin thing and got down to a quarter of one a day. She doesn't have anymore left. She is very restless, can't lay still, vomiting, stomch pains, back pains. She has not been on any suboxin's for 3 days. w/d started lat night. how long does this last? the suboxins she bought off the street for we have no doc's near here that do that. any advice would be greatly appreciated.
concerned mom

[Robert_325]

That means she stopped abruptly at 2mg. That is insane, way too high a dose to jump off cold. She should be tapering down further and needs more subs or she's going to be sick for some time. I mean very sick and with the long half life the w/d problems are just now beginning after three days. It's going to get bad if you don't get her more medication. Then I'll be happy to help you if you want. I've been doing this for a long time. God bless.