Detox from Percocet Addiction

shfug · #61 07-18-2006, 08:42 AM

Toolong,

If your doctor has disowned you, and the clinic won't give you any, where do you get the percocets other than you wife's?

I tried to get them online. I keep seeing that there are sights that you can supposedly get them with out a script, but that's just not true. You can't without a script.

My doctor called yesterday, and moved today's appt. to tomorrow. I have enough for today only. Not even for tonight before bed. I bet it will be a sleepless night for me tonight. He may not give me another perscription. If he doesn't, I'm forced into detox.

Good luck to you

TOOLONG · #62 07-18-2006, 10:28 AM

I am in Barrie and am thinking of going to a NA meeting to find the name of a doctor/councillor that could help me through this rough road I am headed down.

I had liver problems 15 years ago when I was on cocaine and booze. AA was my help then but quit going about 3 years ago. This is not a booze problem.

My memory is scaring me, my liver is scaring me and my bleary vision is scaring me. My back pain is scaring me and withdraw has me popping more.

Gives Scared to Dearth new meaning...... funny if it wasn't my life I was talking about.

Shfug, sorry I can't help you. I used my backpain to get more from a private clinic.

David I emailed you.

mpvt · #63 07-18-2006, 06:24 PM

Check your e-mail Toolong....Dave

TOOLONG · #64 07-19-2006, 08:58 AM

So I told my wife and we both cried. She got angry then held me and we cried some more. She wanted me to go to detox and I told her I couldn't because I am afraid of the pain of withdrawal plus my back and neck pain.

I asked her to help me to wean off the 12 a day. After sometime she said OK if I give her all my stuff and I follow her instuctions. I took her to my four hiding places and gave it all to her. I haven't felt this close to her in a long time.

I gave her the times I take it and we have begun to taper off. Really was awkward at first asking for pills that I had been hiding from her.

We both agree I didn't get sick over night and I will try 5 weeks to wean them down. When I get the sick feeling I ask and she gives me less then what I was taking. We are going from 12 to 8 a day for starters.

I am so fortunate to have her in my corner.

Dave I read your email twice, thank you. I am checking out a AA meeting later and understand that NA maynot accept me if I am taking some to wean off. My wife wants me to turn off all outside calls and just focus on getting better.

shfug · #65 07-20-2006, 03:21 AM

Toolong,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You are fortunate that you have someone to support you and pitch in and try and help. Best of luck. Like I said, I haven't been taking these meds for long, about 9 months now, but I have begun to LIKE them. I saw my doc today, and he gave me another perscription for 120 pills. The directions say 3 per day. I'll stay within the directions because I really don't need anymore as far as my pain goes. But frankly, I have to watch it because aside from the pain relief, I like the feeling they give me. I know it's only 3 or 4 per day that I take, but that's probably the way it kinda starts with everyone, then works in to more etc... Right?

I'll pray for you, and me, and everyone that's fighting this stuff.

TOOLONG · #66 07-20-2006, 04:39 AM

Shfug,

I remember the buzz off a half a perk when I started. Now it's two just to avoid withdrawal with no buzz.... and I know it will only get worse.

Do you have someone you can trust to give you one at a time when needed? Everyday it is too easy to take another then another, trying to get that light happy feeling. Tolerance gets built up as we chase that dragon.

Since becoming honest with my wife I find out she was ready to ask me to leave because she knew something was wrong. I have a weight off my shoulders as I am beoming honest with myself and her. I am not strong enough to say no to them if I hold the bottle.

Be careful this stuff will sneek up on you and destroy your life. Remember 3 a day is the not the minimum you are to take....it's the maximum!!

Foster

shfug · #67 07-20-2006, 02:37 PM

Toolong,

I read your comment and then stared at it for awhile before responding because it kinda hit me upside the head. Yes, my husband would be glad to keep them for me, hidden until the proper time to take it.

Funny, you said about taking more than what's prescibed if you have control of the bottle. Well, I got my prescription at about 4:00 PM yesterday, and I took one, then at 7:30, I took 1/2 and then at 11:00, after my husband went to bed, I took 1 1/2. I was telling myself that since I hadn't had the percocets for awhile, that I could do that this time, then starting tomorrow,(which is today) I'll just go to the two, or three that are on the bottle as the directions. I woke up feeling very, sort of hungover like feeling.

Well, after reading that last paragraph back to myself, that's a problem starting. Maybe I'll give them to my husband tonight to control for me. Boy, these pills seem too make you feel so good.

I am functioning with them just fine, cleaning my house, laundry, errands, cooking every night,etc... Anyway, better go. I have to get to my physical therapy appt.

Thanks for the straight forward talk

Lore'

NavyGrlhelp · #68 07-20-2006, 03:22 PM

Shfug,

I have been taking ULTRAMS for about 7 months. The day before yesterday i took 10-50mg at one time. That's a thousand mg!! I started taking them for kidney stone pain and now I take them because the VA gives my fiance 270 at a time (every three months). I don't get high off them anymore. I just take them to feel like I have the energy to take care of my son (2 mos) and keep my house clean. Today is day one and I want to die! I have been sweating...aching..I hate this! it's hard for me to know that there are 200 hidden (I know where). I just knew that i had to stop. There is no way that I could tell him that I am going through this. I don't think that he would understand in any way. It's crazy because I have never been addicted to anything! I have also been keeping up with this forum for a couple of months. I'm in the Navy and could NEVER go to detox!! I would lose my clearance...everything! So I have to do this on my own! I hope that you will feel free to contact me if you need someone to detox with

I'm scard and alone right now.

NavyGrlhelp · #69 07-20-2006, 08:35 PM

of course while you are on them you are doing fine cleaning house and such...they make you feel like you could clean your house for days! That's the problem...when you stop taking them you feel like you have to have them to have the motivation to clean and such...

TOOLONG · #70 07-21-2006, 07:45 AM

Navygirl,

You should see the Navy doctor and explain what happened. They will give you the help, medication and councelling you need, remember you are not the first one to have this problem.

We are as sick as our secrets....... you need to tell your fiancee. If you are like me, I was grumpy when I was coming down and spaced out when I was buzzing. I would forget what I had just said and was always worried about my wife finding my stash. At the end I was worried about overdosing and now that I came straight with my wife we are closer than we have been since I popped my first pill.

I have shown her the real me. Impossible while I keep my secret.

You maybe different.

shfug · #71 07-25-2006, 07:41 AM

Hi toolong and Navygirl,

Have been having some problems with the computer for a few days. Hope you are both doing fine. I'm doing fine. I go on vacation on the 30th and then get back home on Aug 12th. By that time, I won't have anymore pills. I was so glad doc prescribed this past one. I will finally be forced to go through this. At least I don't think he'll give me anymore. I was so disapointed though because he wrote me for 120, and the insurance would only let me have 90. I almost hope he won't give me more so I have to face this. And I also hope he'll give me more so that I can go through it later than sooner.

Weird. I hope you guys get through this ok. It's 4 am and I woke up and took one, so that I can get back to sleep.

Shfug

shfug · #72 07-25-2006, 07:52 AM

Navygirl,

What are ULTRAMS? Are they strong like the percocet 10/650 that I have been given? I've never heard of them. I was a bit shocked when I read how much you took all at once. What if you OD and the baby and all?

Maybe you could wean off. Of course, I now how that goes. That's been something I haven't done. I just have to wait until the doc won't give me another pill.

Toolong,

I'm glad to hear that you and your wife are closer from this. My husband knows that I have developed a liking to these pain pills, but he also knows that I will soon be "cut off" from them too fairly soon here, so he's probably not all that concern with my problem. What he doesn't know is how nervous I really am for the day that I have no more pills!!!

meANDmygirl · #73 07-30-2006, 08:17 PM

Hi all,

We are starting on our adventure to stop this monkey on our back. This is our second day and it seems so hard but yet it is good to know that we am not alone.Now we just ahve to hope and pray that itgets better fast because we are starting our lives together and we need eachother more than ever.I hope we do this the right way the first time. I think with hard work and some self trust we can beat this. Thank you guys for listening and I hope everyone does well tonight. Will this pain go away....It feels like it is consuming my very existance.

God Bless All

trust in yourself

squidius · #74 07-31-2006, 09:20 AM

Hi everyone,

just found your site in desperation and let me tell you, it is unfortunate, but such a relief to see that we are all the same, I feel like we have all been friends for years, can't explain!

I am currently getting off a 9 month percocet/Oxycodone use due to a hockey puck shattering my skull right in the lower middle of my forhead which gave has been nothing but hell to say the least as my sinus's are now f'd and will most likely always be inflamed.

I am trying to deal with the pain on my own after 9 months as I have a baby due in September and don't want to be that dad! I know that I probably have a good reason to take these little lovable treats, but I can't do the things that I normally would do, which was go out and have a few beers with the boys after hockey as I am afraid of my liver toxicity (yes, I still play! I am Canadian..) have a beverage when I get home from work, or even simple things like work out, because these really inhibit my breathing making it very uncomfortable, plus I feel so good, why would I need to work out get big and feel any better because on these I am king of the world and MR SOCIAL!!
Anyways,
I am coming out of this and have been slowly wheening myself off these things, flipping back and forth between oxy's and Perc's...Down from 2 80's = 32 perc's a day, all the way down to 8 a day and I still have about 9 20ml's of oxy's laying around that I can use in the case of emergency, but man, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life EVER!!!!!! I am a bit dizzy, tired BUT CAN'T SLEEP, was waking up and taking 2 perc's at like 5AM just to get back to bed, that stopped as I am taking oxy's before bed for the time release, but my head and back are killing me, not to mention my every 30 minute washroom routine. IS THIS NORMAL AND HOW LONG DOES IT LAST???

My fear -

My prescription renewal is almost ready again and I am afraid that I will cash in and have to go through this 2 week hell all over again!!

This is my first day without the aid of a single pill, I am at work writing this and I know that I have 9 little babies in my bag that I can use, but do i want to?? HELL YA, but then I am not clean and that is what is stopping me, but I am telling you, getting down from 32 to 8 a day, has been a two week ordeal as that is how long I have been getting off!

I have an outing this weekend that I have promised all my boys I would be at as I haven't been out in well, 9 months for a single beer and now, nobody calls me, nobody thinks I am up to doing anything. That in itself is a very poor feeling.

My Mother once told me that she took 52 percocet's before 11AM even hit and she was up at 8AM, so I come from that..We will often times help each other when we each get some, we will give each other a few to get by, why? I don't know, but that is the way it is. She has had many knee surgeries and has chronic arthritic issues, so I can't always blame her. She will most likely be a lifer, but I choose life, I choose to live!

Can someone help me out with this? as I Am ready to take 2 of these things to get through MONDAY!

squidius · #75 07-31-2006, 10:12 AM

Ok, I just took one 20MG of oxy plus a half! Had to do it, at work, going into a very important meeting with customers and could not be off my horse today, but man, do I feel great now! It's so funny how you can go from gut wrenching to this euphoria.... I am sorry to myself, but this is the choice that I had to make and sometimes the hardest strengthen you and in this case, the fact that I wasn't excited when I took the pill, I know I am on the path to recovery, in fact I was rather reluctant to take one..My plan, get my next prescription and go two a day, which is the equivalent of 8 perc's...This way, I can definetly not take them the days I don't need to without dying and if I need to take them, I know I can do it without destroying myself.

I don't know, I am so confused right now, what does everyone suggest?

PLEASE HELP!

meANDmygirl · #76 07-31-2006, 11:15 AM

squidius,
I am on day three of this crazy ride of wd. i feel like it is torture. my legs are killing my back feels like it is going to break in half my hands wont stop shaking my head pounding and energy level is zero! last night i told my fiance what was actually wrong with me. all the lying to him was really starting to kill me. we are starting a life together and he doesnt even know the real me but then again neither do i. he has been a great support although a little annoying at times because i just don't have the energy to keep up w him. no ones fault but my own. He is a very strong man and i love that he is here to support me and now we are both going to find out who I really am together..... I am telling you all this because you took that pill to be around people today not because you were in pain. you need to find yourself without using a little pill that will make you someone you are not. They would have loved you without taking that pill. if it was me i would have gone in to that meeting or whatever it was and gave them my all and if i needed to take the pill take it when the pain is at its worse! YOU DONT NEED IT TO BE SOCIAL. Thats what I keep telling myself and you should do the same. It is a really hard road to stay on track but if you want it bad enough you can do it..

keep the faith and your head up!

trust in yourself

squidius · #77 07-31-2006, 04:01 PM

Thanks MandmyG,

that was nice and inspiring. I have a question though, is this major headache and lower back pain normal?

Even though I took that 1.5 20MG today, that does not mean I am going to exceed my daily intake plan, but again, it is myself I am fooling and hurting if I don't.....

I am concerned that this head pain/pain I am experiencing is not from the lack of med's, but from the head injury I have sustained, are you experiencing any head pain in the sinus's area or in the head at all?

I am still on track and plan to pull through this with everyone's help on this site and then I plan on coming back and inspiring others to do the same. I figure that if I can beat the 2X 80MG's per day WD and make the 2 a day normal, then dropping off of that should be a breeze.....THOUGHTS?

meANDmygirl · #78 07-31-2006, 08:46 PM

squidius,

since you are still taking the meds you probably wont feel much of the withdrawl pain until you are completely free of the chemical in your body. I'm sure it is a little of wd since you are not taking as much but you still have the chemical in your system so you won't completely wd. I'm sure the pain you are experiencing is from your injury. But you can only be the judge of how bad the pain really is and if is truly bad enough for an oc or is it more of your mind tricking you into thinking you need it. Dont be your own worse enemy. I am on the ending of day 3 I had to take my 2 1/2 year old son to t-ball tonight all i could do was look at all the other mothers and say to myself why couldn't i have been like them. why am i sitting here with no energy and in a rediculous amount of pain and cant even enjoy my son's t-ball game!! It is so frustrating. it takes over your life without notice...I hate this feeling i just want the pain to go away... But anyway i hope i answered your question. if not i hope i helped in some way.. Keep your head up and dont let your mind play tricks on you!!!

trust in yourself

jerrymoore · #79 08-01-2006, 08:16 AM

just wondering why you all dont go to a methadone clinic for withdrawl. Heroin, Pills, same thing, they ll treat you apparently.?

Osagewoman · #80 08-01-2006, 09:36 AM

I just found this website yesterday and am so relieved to hear that others are going through what I am going through! Right now, I am feeling the beginnings of a migraine although I took half of my first lortab 10 @ 6:00 am. I sit here thinking of when I can take my second half around noon, and my last whole 10 @ 4:00 pm! That whole one will give me the energy to get through until 8:00 pm and then it's only a couple hours until bedtime. I have no trouble sleeping; in fact, when I am out at the end of each month (this week), I will do almost nothing except eat and sleep and lay around depressed because I don't have any! It's like saying goodbye to your best friend if I think about never having any again! My husband gets really mad at me at times like this, but he knows why and wants me to just quit...it's not that easy, as you all know!

Does this sound familiar, planning out the day using what pills you have? My husband only give me 2 Lortab 10's per day, but sometimes I 'steal' an extra here and there...he knows I 'need' them, but he's an alcoholic and knows why I do it. It's like you all have said, it sneaks up on you and takes control! It's the energy I get and the ease of social situations that cause me to keep taking them!

I know I'm not ready to quit, yet, but I have noticed a problem in recent months with one of my ears losing hearing. It happens several times a day and my doc says I have fluid buildup, so he gave me a scrip for that and for the extreme vertigo that accompanies the temporary deafness (it lasts about 15-20 seconds). I have read where the over-use of hydrocodone can cause deafness! Has anyone heard that? That would almost make me want to quit...almost I say!

I am watching and praying for all of you! Thank you for letting me tell someone about this without fear of reprisal!

squidius · #81 08-01-2006, 01:42 PM

Methadone is even harder to come off then OXY/PERCOCET. I know this because I knew two people that were on Methadone. One was for Perc's and the other was for street drugs, but when they went off methadone, they were almost in a coma!!! I know that I feel like absolute hell and that I have already been to my doctor for this migraine and guess what he gave me, yept, OXYCOCET..I told him that I was trying to get off these things and he said well, here is what I can do for you and threw me the prescription...I will be making a complaint to the medical board I think...These quacks seem to be making there money off people like us, 15 minute visit, bills Canadian OHIP which is our health coverage for one hour and makes his $400.00. At any rate, Methadone is not the answer, no chemicals are the answer and when you get to our point, it's that we want to be clean and free, not jumping from one addiction lilly pad to another, it just doesn't make sense. To be honest, I would rather be on these pain killers for my fractured skull then Methadone!

Me and my,

Great post, I loved it.

I can totally feel your anguish sitting there feeling so anti-social that you would rather put your head under first base and use that as a bag then talk to others at that point in time. Aching all over feeling miserable while your child hasn't a clue and wonders what the hell is going on! That is my inspiration, yes, you have inspired even more now as I am going to be a Father in September and don't want to be high when my boy/girl takes there first step...I wouldn't be able to cope with that....My mother used Crack my brothers and I were younger..I being 14 next one down 8 and 2..

I once stayed home from schoool without her knowledge,to guard my 2nd stereo that I earned hustling because the first one went missing somehow along with my brothers goalie equipment and my Gameboy..What I got was a pimped out Caddy pulling up our driveway with so much base my johnson was rattling. I went out and confronted this guy by kicking his front light in and what I got in return was a gun-butt over the head and then the gat itself shoved into my mouth and asked if I wanted to die while my mother was yelling at him to just give him the stuff and leave, not get off my son! Never told anybody this expect real clost friends, but I am letting go now..

So, I always told myself that I wouldn't subjct my children to anything remotely like that, hence my reason against this stuff, but pain is pain and I hate it, so it's a double edge sword. Do I want to be in bed with chronic pain, or do I want to be on pain meds and social? Tough call, or is it?

meANDmygirl · #82 08-01-2006, 06:27 PM

jerrymoore, like squidius said in his response why would you take another addicting drug to kick the addiction you already have....doesnt make sense apparently!

Squidius,
It is such a great feeling to be a parent i love my boy more than anything in this world even this addiction thats why i am stopping. No other reason but that. I looked into my son's eyes as i dropped him off at his fathers house this past weekend and he looked so sweat and inocent not tainted by this cruel society after i left him i immediately came home and called "my buddy" and got myself an oc 80 for friday night because he was out of 10mg percs. I was taking my fiance out for his 30th birthday and was going to be around people so i couldn't be straight and knew i would have gotten a headache. It felt like I was living two lives....Everyone says what a great mother I am and I always would think in the back of my mind Ya right thats what you think I need to take pills just to get through the day! What a ****ty feeling. I was up to about 10 of the 10mg percs a day and wasnt getting high but just keeping myself consistent with my everyday routines. But i try to think back at things and can't remember a lot of specifics and that is bothersome!!!! Like how long I have actually been taking them. I think it has been about 2 years now pretty consistently...Those things kill your memory after a while. Anyway i know you must be in a tremendous amount of pain with your injury but make sure every time you do take one of those pills you keep in the back of your mind that someday this little pill may be sitting in your son or daughters hand and you don't want him/her to give into that temptation or better yet be stealing them from your pill bottle because it can happen to anyone as you are witnessing even ones we love..I would give my life to avoid this nasty addiction to ever get close to my son. And you want to be able to remember all the 1st things that your baby does when he or she is born..... Dont let that bottle control you YOU control it!!!!!
Be strong, if not for you for your baby!!!!!

trust in yourself

lysergicdb0 · #83 08-01-2006, 07:34 PM

methadone is worse than the pills and heroin ive done it all i shot up and snorted heroin /oxycontin for 3 years and one day just quit cold turkey its hard but thats life. you can only stop if you want to stop. i would snort 160 mg oxycontin and only get well not even feel the euphoria and when i was shooting 4 at a time i knew it was time to stop theyre just overfowing around here. but it can be done. so if anyone is tryin to wean themselves off of pills or anything else theres hope.

oxymoron · #84 08-01-2006, 08:55 PM

lysergicdb0, how in the hell did you go cold turkey off an addiction that heavy? How long were you in a virtual coma? I'm on day one coming off a 640-800 mg oxy snort fest for the last month and I'm terrified of what's next. I do have 9 8 mg suboxones to wean me off but with the amount of opiates I've been doing, I have no idea if this will even work. Big work meeting tomorrow- I'm screwed- the dealer's out and it's pretty much gonna be hell for the next week I figure. Anybody have any idea about how I should go about taking the suboxone? When my addiction was 1 or 2 80's a day the doc said take 16 mg's a day but now that it's 8 or 10 80's a day I don't know what to do. Feedback appreciated

squidius · #85 08-02-2006, 09:44 AM

I would take 2 a day to start. Take one in the morning and cut the other one in half and take it at about 2 or 3 PM. Go home, but don't sleep just lay there or go work out (next to impossible) Then at about 9:30 - 10 PM take the other half or if you need to, take another whole one to get to sleep. I will tell you, if I can give you any advice, it's that sleep is your biggest ally. Without sleep you might as well be at home or high just to sleep....It's a deadly combonation as I went to my doctor yesterday after falling asleep at 2 and waking up at 4AM. He measured my blood pressure and told me that it was high, but not a concern for someone who has had the last couple of days like I did..So it can also be dangerous.

This is my humble advice and it seems to be working for me as I no longer have the shakes from my rapid drop in dosages. I am down to 8 a day from 32 perc's in OXY form....and I feel good, but I know that the next leg is going to suck even more which is no chemical's at all. At least this way, if I need to stop for a day, I can do it without going into a coma! Try it and let's see how that works for now because it has helped me tonnes. I haven't even come close to having an urge to take one yet today. 5 days ago I would have done anything.

Me and My,

You sound like such a loving mother/parent and your Fiance is a very lucky dude to have you because although you have this problem now, you are smart and down to Earth enough to want to drop it fast. Your son doesn't know, so don't worry about that..He will be just fine, I can tell you from first hand experience, don't let that beat you up. You have done what you have done, we are born to make mistakes and we are born to learn from them, that's what makes us human....It's going to be funny in 5 years when you think back to this point in your life and your going to miss it. Not the pill, but the fact that you didn't realize how good you were about to have. It's like when you meet someone that hasn't seen your favorite movie, you feel envious of them and think they are the luckiest person and you wish you could see it again for the first time. SAME THING, MAKE SENSE?????

Anyways, I am doing alot better today, the headache is going away and I believe it was a tension headache and nothing more. When I first dropped in dose I laid on the couch for 3 days straight and my neck muscles I believe got all crunked, but now, the pain is going and I am starting to feel a bit better....The next leg of this will tell it all.

Hope to hear from you soon!

J

squidius · #86 08-02-2006, 10:37 AM

I am just thinking back to about November. I was on Percocet, up to about 12 a day, but what ended up happening was I kept drinking coffee, lots of it. I guess the two combined in my system made me really sick and I actually threw up from it and couldn't take another perc for at least 4 days if my life depended on it! I was off them, free and clear, it was insane and great, but then I tempted fate again and decided to take another one because I had like 75 Perc's left. Low and behold, i haven't missed a day since then. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I wish I would have seized that opportunity, if I would have only known.

If anyone is reading this and you get the flu, or you feel like your sick and you don't have the urge to take anymore of these things. Throw emm down the toilet, but don't sell them, because you know what it's like and you wouldn't want to be the one to wreck lives.

Cheers,

J

meANDmygirl · #87 08-03-2006, 12:02 PM

Hey hows everyone doing today? I got to say that this really **cks today is day 6 and as far as the pain goes it has subsided tremendously I have just an ache in my legs now but still lower back pain and frequent headache's the thing that is terrible now is the anxiety level. Wow my hands are shaking so much it is even hard for me to type this post. I thought i would hang out with my little man today and stay in cause it is hot out and have a mommy and son day but i'm not doing as good as i wanted. I just called my doctor to see if I could get a refill on my anxiety meds. Dont really want to take them but i'm feaking out. I won't know until 4pm that is like torture! If i didnt take the entire bottle when i got them last month then i would have them but of course i took every last one! UGH i'm so aggrivated with this **it then i got a phone call from someone today looking for a # to one of the people I got my percs from. That set me off because of course it made me start thinking! I wont give in I wont do it I love my son and life with my fiance to much to ruin it! But it is such a struggle! Does this ever stop?

trust in yourself

cluelessNJ · #88 08-04-2006, 12:57 AM

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by meANDmygirl

Hey hows everyone doing today? I got to say that this really **cks today is day 6 and as far as the pain goes it has subsided tremendously I have just an ache in my legs now but still lower back pain and frequent headache's the thing that is terrible now is the anxiety level. Wow my hands are shaking so much it is even hard for me to type this post. I thought i would hang out with my little man today and stay in cause it is hot out and have a mommy and son day but i'm not doing as good as i wanted. I just called my doctor to see if I could get a refill on my anxiety meds. Dont really want to take them but i'm feaking out. I won't know until 4pm that is like torture! If i didnt take the entire bottle when i got them last month then i would have them but of course i took every last one! UGH i'm so aggrivated with this **it then i got a phone call from someone today looking for a # to one of the people I got my percs from. That set me off because of course it made me start thinking! I wont give in I wont do it I love my son and life with my fiance to much to ruin it! But it is such a struggle! Does this ever stop?trust in yourself

It does stop! The cravings and thoughts will become less and less with more clean time. I can promise you that. I rarely have cravings now. I admire that you are quitting for your son and fiance but also put yourself in there too. Love and respect yourself and your body too! Don't put that **** in your body. I wish the best for you and your family. Stay strong! Keep a positive attitude, it does wonders

!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

meANDmygirl · #89 08-06-2006, 09:49 AM

cluelessnj, First off congratulations thats great you have been clean for quite some time now that is awesome...keep up the great work!
thanks for the post it really helped to be reminded that eventually this will stop. Is it normal for the mood swings too? I think i'm doing pretty good as far as that goes. just a snap here and there and very emotional as far as sensitivity goes. Crying at a drop of a dime. It seems so hard to be sober because there are so many things in my life especially the past 2 years with my divorce and moving back with my parents they want everything done thier way and it is tough with a 2 1/2 year old little boy! Money is extremely tight and it makes me wonder if things will ever get better. I wanted to move out of state and make a new life for me,my son and fiance but my ex husband wont allow me to take him away even though he would still have him the miserable every other weekend!!! He doesn't get it he has no responsibilities execept picking up his new mercedes truck this week!!! UGGGGGH so annoying and it just seems like one or two percs just to have a mindless day wouldn't hurt but i know it will.....I guess i'll keep on trying to end this craziness that i created for myself. I'll tell ya though these past two days have been the worse as far as wanting to break!!! I'm tired, aggrivated, sad and just fed up!!!
Thanks for listening!
Take care of yourselves!

meANDmygirl · #90 08-06-2006, 09:50 AM

Squidius,

Everything ok??/??? Havent heard from you in a while! Just wanted to check up on you to make sure you are doing ok!!! Respond back just to let me know...
I'm concerned!

trust in yourself


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