Wow! I have not been this long without a pill in 2 1/2 years!!! It still is not easy though. Today was a crummy day, I think depression is the main problem now. Today I just had to force myself to do things like cook, clean, etc. I have been walking every afternoon, to the post office to check the mail, about 1 mile round trip, so today I had to MAKE myself do it. Sleeping is coming easier now, last night I was able to sleep all night without Flexiril. I am afraid that I will become addicted to the muscle relaxer if I am not careful, afraid that my body will start needing them to get to sleep. I only take 2 a day, and that is before I go to bed, but still...so I decided to try to sleep last night with no sleep aid, only
Ibuprofen for my back, and it worked! Even if it was 3 am when I last looked at the clock. My husband is now afraid that I am taking too many Ibuprofen, so I have started altering between
Tylenol and Ibuprofen. They don't make the pain go away, but they do make it tolerable. Anyway, I am almost a month into being free and it really feels great to think of it that way. It is hard to be around people that have a supply of the pain meds, like my Father In Law, he has to take
Hydrocodone 10's for his knees and feet...he is a disabled vet, and sometimes it drives me CRAZY knowing he has a bottle of the good stuff in the same room as me, and he always has it...he only takes them when he needs them like you are supposed to do, unlike me. So, when he is around, I try to think of other things, or do something that keeps my mind occupied. He knows that I have a problem, so he doesn't take them in front of me, he never lets me see the bottle, so that I don't start "feaming"...thank God for family and their love for us, right? I would like to say that he could leave his bottle lying around and I wouldn't think of sneaking a few out of it, but that is not true...just today I was wondering how I could get the bottle out of his pocket...ha! Fortunately, that is NOT possible. All in all, things are going well. My husband is being very supportive, each day he congratulates me for making it through another day. I can't wait for the day that he can say congratulations for overcoming the habit indefinately, but I know that day is still somewhere in the future, certainly not the very near future. I applaud everyone who has conquered this habit, ANY habit...it is definately the hardest thing I have ever done mentally and physically. Now, I am just trying to get through the mental part, after that I hope to be home free. I can not wait until the day that I can thank God for helping me become totally free. I hope that day comes...no, I know that day will come. I am really glad that I have found this place, to vent and to read other's venting, it helps to know that there are people that KNOW what this is like. I hope that one day I am able to help others as you guys are helping me. Thank you for the support.
Day 23!!!! 
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