[jms81]

Today is going to be day 1 of my heroin detox. I've decided to document it so this can help other addicts, and so that I to can receive some help. I've been addicted to opiates for about 10 years off an on. It started out just doing pain pills here and there, whenever I could get them. I loved the energy and confindence that pills gave me. Then I started looking in medicine cabinents wherever I went, especially gmas.

Needless to say that led to heroin. From about 21-23 non stop. Stole alot from my family. It sucks because deep down I would never do that sober. That landed me and my younger brother in a free recovery house in the ghetto of Baltimore MD. Good times. We where the only white people (im not racisist) in a house of about 15. Stayed 2 weeks, and was clean for about 2 years. That puts me at 25. Met another ex addict, and started doing pills again. Went back to heroin. During this last run I worked a full time job, in the IT field. I am now 28.

Off and on the last 3 years I tried subs and methadone. Both work great. I just didnt stay away from the users. I ended up trading subs for dope and was a full blown addict again. In July, my work found out about my addiction. They sent me to rehab. Insurance only paid for 12 days. I was clean for 17.
Started using again. I lost my job, sold my place, and moved back home. Thank God mom let me back in. I took some of the money I got from my place
and got into a methadone clinic. I was there for 11 days, at 65mg. It has been a long time since I felt that good. I was exercising everyday, and enjoying life once again. Well, I ran out of money. I stopped going to the clininc. I was keeping this from my family. Well, about 3 days off the methadone I thought I was going to die. My counselor called at day 4 to ask how I was. I said terrible. She says well you know by law we have to detox you 3 mg a day even if you dont have the money. What?? Nobody told me that!! I had already missed 3 days so oI was kicked out.

I went about 9 days without methadone and I couldn't take it any longer. Its is way worse than coming off dope. SO, started doing dope again. With my logical reasoning I thought I would just do it a times not everyday to help with methadone withdraw. Now I'm getting dope sick again. Stole a bunch of money from my mom, she is about to kick me out. She is really all I have, everyone else has written me off, for good reasons. I'm waiting on my 401k check to come so I can get back into the clinic. That was really working for me. Dont know when its coming, so I have to quit now, before I'm out on the streets. This should be fun. I really do want to quit. If I can do it cold turkey then screw the methadone.

[LondonToLA]

Hey. Thanks for being so honest. If I were you, I would connect with a suboxone doctor when you've hit 26 on the COWS worksheet, or even a little before you hit 26.

I'm on Suboxone for a heavy Norco addiction and I made it through two days of the WD prior to the induction of the subs.

Cold Turkey doesn't sound like a great way to get off of H - you'll be in serious pain & with subs (if used correctly) you don't need to be in pain while you detox.

[MaisieC]

Hi jms81,

Your withdrawal, as you probably know, will depend on how much dope you were doing. I'm sorry to say that my best friend died from her heroin habit, so I know a lot more about this than I want to (I only ever did pills, which created enough of a disaster in my life).

If you think you can do it, it's best to do cold turkey and get clean...if you think you can stay clean. Methadone clinics tend to discourage you from getting clean, because they want to keep you. The same is true for a lot of suboxone doctors. If you need the meth or the subs transitionally, that's better than continuing to do dope. But if you can get clean and stay there, that's the best solution.

If you decide to go CT, check out the Thomas recipe on this site. It can help a lot with withdrawals.

Even more importantly, I think, is to get yourself to NA meetings at least once a day. You're really at a critical turning point in your life. You have to do this. You've screwed up about as much as you can at this point. I'm not saying this to condemn you; Lord knows I've screwed up enough myself! I'm just stressing what you already know: you have to do it this time. You have to get serious about recovery and really embrace a program and work it.

Were you shooting or snorting? How much? Do you have a place you can stay while you detox? Someone to take care of you for a few days?

I think you can do this. Please hang in there.

Take care,
Maisie

[bev49]

Your story sounds alot like mine, just many years later. The only difference is, after 10 years of heroin addiction, I got on methadone maintenance. It was really cheap (in NY) so I stayed on. While in one way it was a godsend, in reality, its a business and people tend to stay on and on and on. Of course, going c/t is best. However, its then up to you to stay clean. Maise is so right on by saying you need N/A or some kind of serious support group. Only you know yourself. If you are honest with yourself and think c/t won't work, sub is the next best thing (shorter term than meth). As you've done it before, I'm sure you know about the COWS worksheet, not taking it til your in moderate/severe withdrawal, and coming down in good time. Then there is methadone detox, which lasts six months. They bring you up then down... Last resort would be methadone maintenance. Only if you know in your heart you aren't going to stop otherwise.