[Sue13]

Hi everyone,

I have been batting around these threads so much that I don't know where my own posts are so...I guess I'll start my own thread.

I stared a drastic taper of Hydrocodone last week from 10/day (which made my Dr. blanch) to 2/day.

Obviously the symptoms were awful: strange muscle aaches, headaches that would come and go, no happiness...but I want a "normal" life, whatever that is.

So...the last three days I have pleaded "flu" and "sick dog" and got through as best I could. First two nights were awful: about 3 AM I would get chilled to the bone-nothing could warm me, then I would sweat. Uninterrupted sleep was out of the question, which I finally helped with valium and a Hydro.

Last night was only 3 valium and 1/2 hydro, but I feel like a limp dishtowel today-is this normal? I did REALLY sleep though, and that was amazing.

Is this weakness normal? Will it get better? Any experience welcomed. I am planning to try today with 1 hydrocodone sometime to get me started, and then none till tomorrow.

Sue

[Princess2112]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Hi everyone,

I have been batting around these threads so much that I don't know where my own posts are so...I guess I'll start my own thread.

I stared a drastic taper of Hydrocodone last week from 10/day (which made my Dr. blanch) to 2/day.

Obviously the symptoms were awful: strange muscle aaches, headaches that would come and go, no happiness...but I want a "normal" life, whatever that is.

So...the last three days I have pleaded "flu" and "sick dog" and got through as best I could. First two nights were awful: about 3 AM I would get chilled to the bone-nothing could warm me, then I would sweat. Uninterrupted sleep was out of the question, which I finally helped with valium and a Hydro.

Last night was only 3 valium and 1/2 hydro, but I feel like a limp dishtowel today-is this normal? I did REALLY sleep though, and that was amazing.

Is this weakness normal? Will it get better? Any experience welcomed. I am planning to try today with 1 hydrocodone sometime to get me started, and then none till tomorrow.

Sue

I'm not going to give you any advice on what to do next, but I will tell you that what you are going through is totally normal. The bone-chilling chills were actually the worst for me. The weakness and lack of sleep are also normal. You are going through typical withdrawl. Trust me! I know what it's like! You have to get off of the hydro though and BE STRONG! Want it! There are programs and other ways to get off of it easier than the way you are doing it now that I am sure other people will chime in on, but it seems to me like you are almost there. A few more days. You will feel better each day, and you will also get your life back! It's a beautiful thing. Try some Thera-Flu and Immodium. They really worked well for me. Take advantage of over-the-counter medicines. They work too! Good luck and feel better!

If you find you just can't stop the hydro, listen to others on the board. I did it the hard way when I really didn't have to, but my situation was different from yours.

[Sue13]

Thanks for your reply; it gives me hope. I did however, get a call from a doctor that I had contacted about Suboxone. I have an appointment at 1:30. Should I forget it and just tough it out? Goodness knows I don't want to start another dependency.

Again, thanks for any opinions,

Sue

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Thanks for your reply; it gives me hope. I did however, get a call from a doctor that I had contacted about Suboxone. I have an appointment at 1:30. Should I forget it and just tough it out? Goodness knows I don't want to start another dependency.

Again, thanks for any opinions,

Sue

Hi Sue
If there is anyway you can do this without taking the suboxone.
That is what I would do.just tough it out...
I know you feel like cra* right now,but trust me it gets better.
I think it would help if you just stopped taking the pills tho and just got it over with it is kind of dragging it out for you.
I did the same thing so don't feel bad.
You are just so close.you will get our strength back I can remember the weakness that was hard I was working through it.
oh man that was hard.
But feeling better is only days away for you.
If you can just dump the rest of your pills.LOL

I wish you luck sue in what ever you choose to do.
You will get out of this mess one way or another.
I will talk to you soon, Melinda

[Sue13]

Melinda, I just chickened out and took one of my remaining 5-1/2 pills, before I read your post...and made the predictable paniced call to the dr. for more.

Also, went to the "suboxone dr." and learned a lot about what is known and not known about this stuff. He had not even ever heard of this site. We baby-boomers are in BIG trouble.

I also found out (reinforced by you) that taking ANY amount prolongs things. D*mn, I thought going from 10 10/500 to 1 10/500 in a week was amazing, and I thought sleeping last night without those bone-chilling sweat/cold times was also a sign of progress.

Back on the couch claiming "flu". Unbelievable that something so easily obtained can turn on you like this.

Sue

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, I just chickened out and took one of my remaining 5-1/2 pills, before I read your post...and made the predictable paniced call to the dr. for more.

Also, went to the "suboxone dr." and learned a lot about what is known and not known about this stuff. He had not even ever heard of this site. We baby-boomers are in BIG trouble.

I also found out (reinforced by you) that taking ANY amount prolongs things. D*mn, I thought going from 10 10/500 to 1 10/500 in a week was amazing, and I thought sleeping last night without those bone-chilling sweat/cold times was also a sign of progress.

Back on the couch claiming "flu". Unbelievable that something so easily obtained can turn on you like this.

Sue

Hi Sue
I just wanted you to know I did a lot of the same things you are doing.
Your going to make it...
I would be down to taking nothing and then mess it all up the next day.but I would start it all over the next day,get up and tell myself I will do better today than I did yesterday and after awhile you will get it right.
I got down to 5 mg vic's a day and that is when I stopped and that is when I found this forum and got some help from my friends here...
I know how bad you want to stop and i know you have the strength to do it...did you get more perc's from the doctor.if you did its OK I think it helped me to know i had a stash if i had to have them I ended up flushing ten 10mg vic's down the toilet..and girl that felt good.
Sue if I can help in any way,if you need to talk or anything...
I am here for you....
Talk to you soon,Melinda

[Sue13]

Melinda, you are my angel. I still don't know if my panic call to the Dr. produced anything but we will see. You give me hope to continue this *ell I am in anyway.

More TK tomorrow,

Sue

[Princess2112]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, you are my angel. I still don't know if my panic call to the Dr. produced anything but we will see. You give me hope to continue this *ell I am in anyway.

More TK tomorrow,

Sue

Hey Sue. I just wanted to tell you that high anxiety and panic attacks are part of detoxing. Your emotions are RAW for the first time in a long time and you are starting to FEEL again. It's normal hun. But don't get hooked on valium or zanax because then you are just jumping from one dependency to another and you will detox from benzos too. Just understand that when you get scared, and want to call your doctor, it's part of detoxing. Take a deep breath, and go for a walk if you can or come to this board. It will help. I think you have weened yourself down far enough to where you definitely can do this WITHOUT suboxone. Just a few more days. I am in my 15 th day of withdrawl from 9 years of 170 mg a day of oxys, and 2 valiums a day plus 4 months of suboxone and I went through a HORRIBLE withdrawl because I didn't do it right. I was too eager to just stop. I went AMA (against medical advice), because if it was up to my doctor, I'd still be on suboxone (which being on them for 4 months with valiums was ridiculous in the first place). You just hang in there! You are almost there!

[Sue13]

Thanks for the support. I guess I aam hanging in there but managed to have a ridiculous quarrel with the bf (because I was so off the walls).

So far this morning my hands are shaking, and i generally feel awful, but we have a dinner to go to, and xmas stuff to do, so hopefully I can put on a bright face. He doesn't know any of this, never has, and since I have a pretty good life with him he doesn't understand all these strange things that are going on.

It helps to know I have friends here,
Sue

[melinda7.5]

Hi Sue
Sorry to hear about the fight with your bf,Its hard when know one knows what you are going thru or how you are really feeling...
So I take it you didn't get the perc's from the doctor...
Does this mean you are going with out anything today ?
I know a week of this he** seems like forever right now.but you will have the rest of your life to feel good after you get done with your withdrawls.
Just try and think about you life down the road when you are back in control.
I just cant tell you enough how wonderful life is again...
Just take it one hour at a time...or 15 min at a time what ever you need to do to get thru this.
When I was on day 4 I was having a BBQ with about 60 people.LOL
I thought I was going to die...
So just try your best to get thru this,I now you have it in you...
May God be with you and give you strenght...
I will be thinking about you and praying for you....
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[LondonToLA]

Hey Sue13!

I totally and utterly know what you are going through. I am sad to say that I'm like a 5 time relapser, and my last dose (this time) of Hydro was 15mg on Friday night. Prior to that, I had been taking 30mg regularly for about 5 days. I fell off the flipping wagon and I picked the most inopportune time to WD because I'm on vacation with 3 other people in another city. I'm supposed to be having fun, but all I'm doing is WD'ing! I know that the people I am with think I'm just feeling under the weather, but dang, it's really really hard to WD and still be expected to act normal.

I'm really sorry U R going through WD's, but just know that the absolute he** you are going through right now is the same thing that I'm going through. You are not alone...I am here with you.

And to others on the board, the reason why I have not posted recently is because I was using. I suppose that's fairly typical though.

Thank you for all being a resource for me and Sue13 - hang in there! You may private message/e-mail me if you wish and I promise to respond as soon as I can. (Internet connection @ the hotel is spotty).

Take care & hugs.

London

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by LondonToLA

Hey Sue13!

I totally and utterly know what you are going through. I am sad to say that I'm like a 5 time relapser, and my last dose (this time) of Hydro was 15mg on Friday night. Prior to that, I had been taking 30mg regularly for about 5 days. I fell off the flipping wagon and I picked the most inopportune time to WD because I'm on vacation with 3 other people in another city. I'm supposed to be having fun, but all I'm doing is WD'ing! I know that the people I am with think I'm just feeling under the weather, but dang, it's really really hard to WD and still be expected to act normal.

I'm really sorry U R going through WD's, but just know that the absolute he** you are going through right now is the same thing that I'm going through. You are not alone...I am here with you.

And to others on the board, the reason why I have not posted recently is because I was using. I suppose that's fairly typical though.

Thank you for all being a resource for me and Sue13 - hang in there! You may private message/e-mail me if you wish and I promise to respond as soon as I can. (Internet connection @ the hotel is spotty).

Take care & hugs.

London

Hi London
I was wondering where you were...
Its really nice to see you back, you can still post, just because you mess up everyone else here has done the same thing.So don't feel bad we are here to help each other not to judge.So keep in touch and let us know how you are doing...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[Sue13]

Melinda, London,

I am limping along with 1-2 10 mg/day; I do feel much better, and sleep at night, but know even this has to stop.

London, I feel for you; every time I tried to quit it was always when there was a vacation coming; my stupid logic being that it would be easier when I was having "fun".

Please also feel free to PM me. Off to a couple of holiday parties today lol, and am hoping for at least a reasonable time.

Thinking of you, and certainly not "glad" to have company in this misery, but it helps to know there are others out there.

Hugs, Sue

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, London,

I am limping along with 1-2 10 mg/day; I do feel much better, and sleep at night, but know even this has to stop.

London, I feel for you; every time I tried to quit it was always when there was a vacation coming; my stupid logic being that it would be easier when I was having "fun".

Please also feel free to PM me. Off to a couple of holiday parties today lol, and am hoping for at least a reasonable time.

Thinking of you, and certainly not "glad" to have company in this misery, but it helps to know there are others out there.

Hugs, Sue

Hi Sue
I hope your Christmas parties went well and you had some fun.
You really are doing a great job on your taper if you can keep this up I'm sure you will be able to quit them right after Christmas.
Then you can put this mess all behind you for the new year.
Keep up the good work...I know how hard you are trying.
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[LondonToLA]

Thanks Sue & Melinda for your support. WD's sure do suck the wind out of a tornado. One of the things that is sort of lingering is my lack of appetite. I can eat bread, drink coffee, milk, and, strangely enough JuJuBes Candy, but I can't stomach a full normal meal. I tried to eat a Turkey, Stuffing, & Cranberry sauce dinner last night and I took one bite & was done. That's rare for me as I usually can eat like a horse!

I wonder how much longer this is going to last? My morning anxiety has seemed to wane which is a good thing.

Sue: I wonder how YOU are doing? Are you still on 1 - 2 Norco's a day? Have you tried a slow titration of your Hydro yet?

London.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by LondonToLA

Thanks Sue & Melinda for your support. WD's sure do suck the wind out of a tornado. One of the things that is sort of lingering is my lack of appetite. I can eat bread, drink coffee, milk, and, strangely enough JuJuBes Candy, but I can't stomach a full normal meal. I tried to eat a Turkey, Stuffing, & Cranberry sauce dinner last night and I took one bite & was done. That's rare for me as I usually can eat like a horse!

I wonder how much longer this is going to last? My morning anxiety has seemed to wane which is a good thing.

Sue: I wonder how YOU are doing? Are you still on 1 - 2 Norco's a day? Have you tried a slow titration of your Hydro yet?

London.

Hi London
Are you back from vacation? I hope you had a great time...
Trust me your appetite will be back, I'm sure before you want it to.LOL
Are you on day four now? It sounds like your doing great if you are.
your going to make it this time.
We are all really proud of you...
Talk to you soon,Melinda

[melinda7.5]

Hi Sue
I'm just being mother hen...LOL
I haven't heard from you and I was wondering how you are doing?
Merry Christmas to you...
Melinda

[Sue13]

Melinda, London and all,

I have given in and went to the Dr. with a serious discussion about addiction problems. I am beginning a slow taper: 4 10/500 Hydros a day, then next month 3/day, then 2/day etc. If I can cut down before then, well so much the better, but he seems to think I will do well on that. So....more TK.

Also had a frank discussion with the bf about all this, and as painful as it was, there it is-out in the open.

I am an emotional and physical wreck right now, so at 6 am-ish I will continue.

Good luck London,
Sue

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, London and all,

I have given in and went to the Dr. with a serious discussion about addiction problems. I am beginning a slow taper: 4 10/500 Hydros a day, then next month 3/day, then 2/day etc. If I can cut down before then, well so much the better, but he seems to think I will do well on that. So....more TK.

Also had a frank discussion with the bf about all this, and as painful as it was, there it is-out in the open.

I am an emotional and physical wreck right now, so at 6 am-ish I will continue.

Good luck London,
Sue

This is a process and whatever works for you is what you should do. Not all people can do this the same way. Getting clean is not an event so if it takes you a while that is fine.

I think it's smart to be honest with both the dr and your bf about what's going on. This ordeal is stressful enough on us without having to hide it from those close to us.

I wish you the best of luck with your efforts. God bless.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, London and all,

I have given in and went to the Dr. with a serious discussion about addiction problems. I am beginning a slow taper: 4 10/500 Hydros a day, then next month 3/day, then 2/day etc. If I can cut down before then, well so much the better, but he seems to think I will do well on that. So....more TK.

Also had a frank discussion with the bf about all this, and as painful as it was, there it is-out in the open.

I am an emotional and physical wreck right now, so at 6 am-ish I will continue.

Good luck London,
Sue

Hi Sue
I really think you did a good thing.I'm sure your doctor will be very helpful and get you through this.
I'm sure your bf will be a great support for you as well...
Your a very smart girl and you will get out of this mess it will just take a little time.
Let us know how you are doing...
Talk to you soon ,Melinda

Merry Christmas to all...

[Sue13]

Hi Melinda,

Again thanks for your incredible support; I wish I had had the guts to finish the cold turkey but the more I read the more I found that a lot of people who do that go back eventually to the addiction...and I was such a mess that the holidays were going to be a nightmare.

I do have a good Dr. and he has given me a non-narcotic sleep aid especially for pain, and another med for the depression that goes along with opiates. (He has me on 4 10/500 for 25 days, then will give me script for 3. If I can cut back a little sooner, that is fine but he emphatically urged me NOT to rush this.

As for the bf, well, we will see. He places a lot of value on trust, although he didn't see it as a breach of trust that he found, and read all my posts on another site. Oh well...

LondonToLa: How are you doing? If you had more nerve than me you should be out of this by now...

Sue

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Hi Melinda,

Again thanks for your incredible support; I wish I had had the guts to finish the cold turkey but the more I read the more I found that a lot of people who do that go back eventually to the addiction...and I was such a mess that the holidays were going to be a nightmare.

I do have a good Dr. and he has given me a non-narcotic sleep aid especially for pain, and another med for the depression that goes along with opiates. (He has me on 4 10/500 for 25 days, then will give me script for 3. If I can cut back a little sooner, that is fine but he emphatically urged me NOT to rush this.

As for the bf, well, we will see. He places a lot of value on trust, although he didn't see it as a breach of trust that he found, and read all my posts on another site. Oh well...

LondonToLa: How are you doing? If you had more nerve than me you should be out of this by now...

Sue

Hi Sue
I did a very long taper before I quit all of my pills.
You know what you want to do and your just doing it the best way for you.
Your making a plan and your going to do just fine we all have are own way of doing things.
But you still have to keep me posted on how you are doing.LOL
Merry Christmas Sue
Talk to you soon ,Melinda

Merry Christmas to all...

[Sue13]

Oh Melinda, thank you for checking in every day. I am feeling very normal for today...miracle! I WILL keep you posted,

Sue

A wonderful Xmas to you!

[Robert_325]

Sue ... you've come so far since you first posted! I wish the very best for you and wish you and yours a safe and Merry Christmas today. God bless my friend.

[LondonToLA]

Originally Posted by Sue13

Melinda, London and all,

I have given in and went to the Dr. with a serious discussion about addiction problems. I am beginning a slow taper: 4 10/500 Hydros a day, then next month 3/day, then 2/day etc. If I can cut down before then, well so much the better, but he seems to think I will do well on that. So....more TK.

Also had a frank discussion with the bf about all this, and as painful as it was, there it is-out in the open.

I am an emotional and physical wreck right now, so at 6 am-ish I will continue.

Good luck London,
Sue

Hi Sue. I am so happy that you spoke with your doctor about this & that he was willing to put you on a slow taper program. I am trying so hard to stay clean, but I have relapsed a little as I gave in to a few Tylenol #4's that I got access to. I don't even know which is more addictive: Codeine or Hydro, but I do know that relapsing makes me feel like a terrible person. So, Sue, I am not stronger than you: I am just as vulnerable as everyone else. I am trying, but quite honestly, not hard enough & I know that. I took two doses of 15mg Hydro today and yesterday I had 3 Tylenol #4's.

I also had a frank conversation w/my partner when I first realized that I had an addiction and, as it was for you, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am very proud of you Sue.

I must say that I am feeling a little low right now and know I need to be an adult & stop taking pills. I am also torn because I would be interested in a group-type therapy program, however; I personally refuse to be affiliated w/anything involving or sponsored by an organized religion. No offense to anyone meant: it's just my personal choice. And, you know what? I might be really wrong about that.

It's just all coming to a head right now & being away from the family during the Holidays doesn't help.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by LondonToLA

Hi Sue. I am so happy that you spoke with your doctor about this & that he was willing to put you on a slow taper program. I am trying so hard to stay clean, but I have relapsed a little as I gave in to a few Tylenol #4's that I got access to. I don't even know which is more addictive: Codeine or Hydro, but I do know that relapsing makes me feel like a terrible person. So, Sue, I am not stronger than you: I am just as vulnerable as everyone else. I am trying, but quite honestly, not hard enough & I know that. I took two doses of 15mg Hydro today and yesterday I had 3 Tylenol #4's.

I also had a frank conversation w/my partner when I first realized that I had an addiction and, as it was for you, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am very proud of you Sue.

I must say that I am feeling a little low right now and know I need to be an adult & stop taking pills. I am also torn because I would be interested in a group-type therapy program, however; I personally refuse to be affiliated w/anything involving or sponsored by an organized religion. No offense to anyone meant: it's just my personal choice. And, you know what? I might be really wrong about that.

It's just all coming to a head right now & being away from the family during the Holidays doesn't help.

Hi London
We are starting a (group quitting session)LOL... on January 1st and we wanted to know if you wanted to join in the fun...
There really is strength in numbers....
Let us know and we will get you signed up...

[LondonToLA]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi London
We are starting a (group quitting session)LOL... on January 1st and we wanted to know if you wanted to join in the fun...
There really is strength in numbers....
Let us know and we will get you signed up...

I have no other choice at this point, and as much as I would LOVE to stay on Hydros forever and ever, I know that I can't as it's not healthy. I have seen a psych since 1996 for a totally (maybe) unrelated disorder (OCD & anxiety) and I am going to him tomorrow to spill my guts. I've decided just to be honest & forthcoming w/him about this issue. I've basically cut all the ties that I have to hydro: told my friends about my dependence and I totally (intentionally) pissed off a dealer who I had connections with at one time. All my doctors (I go to a medical group for my primary care) know about my situation and soon my psych will too.

I've got to be honest and say that I really really like Hyrdos, but I've got to get off of them. I'm down to my last 10mg which I plan on titrating over the next 2 days.

Thanks again for all your support. I've got to get off these things, so sign me up for the Jan 1st quit-a-thon (though I'll probably have started earlier than that).

Sue: How are you doing with your medically supervised taper? Are you sticking to the taper schedule? I find that whenever I say I'm going to taper or titrate, I really end up just taking more than I need. Just wondering how things are going on the Sue-front.

[Sue13]

Yes, London, I am sticking to it to the letter. More later...Sue

[Sue13]

Well, OK, a little slipping and sliding here. I wish I could do better.

Down a bit on the Hydrocodone: 6-7, but I am supposed to be at 4. Seeing the Dr. tomorrow, and I think I should just be honest; any opinions?

Thanks,
Sue

[melinda7.5]

Hi Sue
I know it's so hard,I just wanted it so bad for myself, that I would do anything to get off those Damn Pills,
Since your doctor allready knows your having a problem with them I would just tell him the truth,maybe he can think of something else that can help.
Hang in there Sue dont give up on yourself...
We all want the very best for you