[in2deep]

hi people, i really need some help, im a 25 yr old female, had problems with alcohol, cannabis, ecstacy, cocaine & now codeine. I always substitute one thing for another. Ive been taking codeine in the form of nurofen plus for 3 years, this problem started slow but ended in me takin up to 30 tabs a day which only made me feel normal. This is my 4th attempt of stopping. I finally confessed all to my doctor who was actually really supportive & prescribed me diazepam & beta-blockers. Bizarrely for me i dont like the diazepam. I last took codeine on wednesday nite so this is day 4 of withdrawal. My legs are jerky & even with the diazepam im still struggling to sleep. A member of my family has just been taken seriously ill & this has now set me off searching for codeine, im desperate for it, i feel so ill & like i cant cope, i was doin well, i think because i wanted to stop but now these events hav knocked me for six, no-one knows about my problem, ive been secretly addicted to all sorts since i was 15 because i think i struggle emotionally with things. Codeine takes all that away. I dont want to give in but im struggling, im really struggling, i dont know what to do. Im jus sat now with my dog & car keys in my hand, trying not to just drive off, get some codeine & just stop all of this. What a weak person i am.

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
It seems like when we try to get clean things always come up...
Some how if you can just stay strong and get thru them we have won the day.
I think most of us on this forum are a little short on coping skills...That's why we get ourselves in trouble.

Your not a weak person...it has just been the way you deal with things in the past and until we find different ways to deal with things we tend to get ourselves in trouble...
If there is any thing I can help with let me know
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[in2deep]

well, ive just been on to my mums & there was a packet of nurofen plus on the table, after staring at them for a long time i decided against taking them & just left the house, im having to drive about to the hospital so instead had some diazepam & downed a can of redbull, this has stopped my rls & stopped the exhaustion, whether this is a good or safe combination i do not know but it has worked & im now very pleased that i resisting the easy option. My difficulty lies in that no1 has any idea of my problems, im having to carry on as normal, just doing my make up is an effort but im definately going to get some more redbull. Whether thats good or bad its better than codeine. When do you think this will stop? im on day 4 of withdrawal, will it get better from here? If im unlucky how long could it go on for? Thanks

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
great job on passing on the pills...The red bull wont hurt you...I happen to be a coffee freak myself...
I'm on my way out the door to church...I will check on you when I get home...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
I think day 4 should be your worst and things will start to get better...It did for me anyway...i always said I was coming down with the flu... see if you can do some exercise even if it's like 2 minutes at a time that will help allot...
Let us know how you are doing...

Melinda

[in2deep]

hey melinda thanks for your replies. I have a dog so i have to take him out no matter what so thats good for me. Can i ask you something....if i take codeine again will i always now get withdrawals from it? Like say in 2 months if i had a couple of pills would i get withdrawals from that? I know codeine is bad 4 my life but i cant imagine not ever feeling how it made me feel ever again. This is screaming relapse but im nervous as to what im going to take next, ive told my doc to not prescribe anymore diazepam at all coz i dont want to go there at all but i do my own head in, im constantly thinking, worrying & stressing so am always on the look out for something to take that away. Im going to be a wreck without it, at least im functional with codeine although leading myself to an early grave. I just wish i was a normal balanced person

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
This is where us addicts get in trouble...we think Oh I can do it just this once and if we could it would be OK, but after we take that pill we think oh that felt so good i going to just take one more....and then we are off and running.
IF we could use just once there would be no with drawal...but that is the hard part ( just once )...I have anxiety disorder so I understand about always worrying it sucks...I get in fights with myself all the time over stupid thing...worrying about things that are not even realistic...

Most people are not as balanced as they appear we all have are worries,
I have read so many books on this subject...You just have to say it is, what it is, and let the rest go...
I wish there was a magic pill, trust me I would be taking it...LOL
hang in there,let us know if we can help...
Melinda

[in2deep]

will i be an addict forever? Im sorry, im just having difficulty getin my head round this, i suppose after years of denial it starting to dawn on me what has happened to my life. Ive spent 11 years waiting for the next hit of something & all of a sudden im starting to despair. I read in another post about a guy who was an alcoholic & had been clean for 15 years but still thought about it every day. I dont think i could do that. The people who post on here seem very strong despite their problems. How can i think about this every day & not give in, im so impulsive. Ive been to doctors about my way of thinking & how i want to numb my brain to stop it goin a million miles an hour & they put me on anti depressants which really messed me up, i lost 6 months of my life, cant remember anything that happened at that time except cutting my wrists after which a pschiatrist cut me off from all medication & help hence my continuence to self medicate. I wont touch antidepressants ever again afta that, im sorry im rambling on but its dawning on me that now i have nothing at all to stop what im feeling & now its all flooding back & i feel almost hyper now. How do you pick between two evils?

[melinda7.5]

Well all I can tell you is that I am...I know if I take a pill I would be in trouble.
I would not stop at one...
I use take pills to numb myself...but now I just say screw it and deal with it...
and I also just try to live for today and not worry about what tomorrow will bring...I try to find happiness in today...
I have the racing brain thing also...it sucks...have you ever done any reading about anxiety disorder...that is one of the biggest symptom that there is...

I wont take any A/D either they might help some people but not me !!!
The biggest trick to life I think is learning to like yourself...and just letting things pass...

LOL...now you have had Melinda's school of physiology......sorry...
just think about today, and dont worry about tomorrow...

Melinda

[in2deep]

i dont know, im quite upset, not with anything you have said, just with the situation. Thanks for your posts though, they made me smile, thats something at least. Can i ask how long you have been clean for?

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
I have been clean now since august of 2008...
I was on a ton of pills I have fibro and DDD and anxiety disorder...
I started out with vic's and ended up on oxycontin and klonopin and a bunch of other stuff...
I went thru severe panic attacks when i stopped.....
But I'm OK now when I made it thru the withdrawals I don't think I have faced any thing worse in my life and I knew If I could do that I could do anything.
I have a 17 year old daughter at home...and we manage just fine...life is really good...
I had to learn how to take care of myself and be happy with myself...then everything is just iceing on the cake.
I took me a while im 49 years old...but better late than never...
A very wealthey older friend of mine told me most women dont even find out who they are untill they are in there 40's and looking back I think she is right.

Do you have a job or do you do things for yourself.things that make you happy ???

Melinda

[Businessman1]

Hi

If you are talking about Nurofen plus then I'm guess you are either in the UK or Oz where Codeine is sold without a prescription. Here in the US, Tylenol 4 is the common brand name product containing codeine and is only available with a prescription.

It is not as easy to avoid in the UK as Codeine is in a lot of over the counter headache and cough medicines.

Nurofen plus has 12.8 mg of Codeine which is not that much. It also has 200mg of ibuprofen. If you are having 30 pills/day I would be more worried about this. Too much Ibuprofen can be really bad for you and give you ulcers. One of the guys I work with got taken to hospital with internal bleeding from it... At least make sure you are not taking it on an empty stomach.

If you are suffering with lots of anxiety and using the codeine to help, maybe there are a few things you could try before the process of stopping the codeine. I am not sure if you still take other drugs but:
- Alcohol increases anxiety - especially on hangover days and the following 2- 3 days. Don't use alcohol to stop codeine cravings or you’ll end up craving codeine to help with the hangover
- Caffeine is terrible for anxiety so try and cut that out for a while. Just accept you are going to be tired. Sleeping is not that bad
- Come-downs from drugs like coke, MDMA and speed are the worst for anxiety and you would be very likely to crave the comforting feeling of opiates when you feel low from this. They also stop you sleeping
- Weed makes you paranoid and can also give you a lot of anxiety (not to mention super hungry). I have seen some people on here suggest it to stop you feeling nauseous but is sounds like you have enough to deal with…
- Being tired always makes everything feel worse so finding something to help you sleep is important


Other than that, there is tons of advice on getting off opiates on this forum. I am about to try and stop Oxycodone and people have been really helpful (Melinda included). I haven't seen many people asking about Codeine withdrawal here. Most of these posts are American where Hydrocodone seems to be the entry level opiate prescribed. Hydrocodone is not prescribed in the UK but as a rough guide, I think 5mg of Hydrocodone is = to around 30mg of codeine (I'm not 100% sure on that conversion). Strange how codeine can be bought at a gas station but hydrocodone is banned…

Good luck!

[brndout]

Originally Posted by in2deep

will i be an addict forever? Im sorry, im just having difficulty getin my head round this, i suppose after years of denial it starting to dawn on me what has happened to my life. Ive spent 11 years waiting for the next hit of something & all of a sudden im starting to despair. I read in another post about a guy who was an alcoholic & had been clean for 15 years but still thought about it every day. I dont think i could do that. The people who post on here seem very strong despite their problems. How can i think about this every day & not give in, im so impulsive. Ive been to doctors about my way of thinking & how i want to numb my brain to stop it goin a million miles an hour & they put me on anti depressants which really messed me up, i lost 6 months of my life, cant remember anything that happened at that time except cutting my wrists after which a pschiatrist cut me off from all medication & help hence my continuence to self medicate. I wont touch antidepressants ever again afta that, im sorry im rambling on but its dawning on me that now i have nothing at all to stop what im feeling & now its all flooding back & i feel almost hyper now. How do you pick between two evils?

Hi -This is Linda and i know exactly how your feeling . When I stopped all the feelings ,fear ,panic, and pain seemed to surface all at once . I could not breathe and had to breath into a paper sack because I would hyperventilate . I think my anxiety problem helped lead to my drug problem. I didn't want any benzos so I just had to talk myself through these times and they were short lived maybe two days . hang in there -it will be all right and you will feel so much better resisting the urge to use as you'll be right back where you didn't want to be

[in2deep]

hi guys thanks for all your replies. I havent been taking anything else whilst i was taking codeine, i started off with alcohol when i was 14/15 then after a bad experience swapped to cannabis, which i admit i took with x & coke, when my boyf told me to stop it or leave i stopped, replaced smoking cannabis with cigarettes & was doing ok until i got a tooth abcess & discovered nurofen plus & now here i am 3 years later. I used to do alot of cold water extractions to try save my insides & buy other peoples scripts for pure codeine. I dont know what today is goin to be like but im missing it, im missing it like mad. I dont think its my body that wants it so much now its my head. Im in between jobs at min so have alot of spare time which dosnt help in the slightest. Also i try to just sleep through the day but find it impossible, even though im exhausted i cant go to sleep, even with diazepam. It would be so much easier if i could just sleep through!

[Businessman1]

Maybe your doctor could give you something else to help you sleep. Diazepam isn't a sleeping pill. It knocks me out but they gave it to my mom before an op and it did nothing at all for her.

Maybe even something over the counter may help. In the US we have a sleeping aid called tylenol pm which is a mix of acetaminophen (which you call paracetamol) and Diphenhydramine HCl which is basically Benadryl. This makes me sleep and also helped my mom after her op.

You can't buy those two together in the UK (not sure why) but you can buy benadryl on it's own (you don't need the paracetamol to sleep). They normally sell it for hay fever but it makes you sleep too.

I'm not sure what brands they have for sleeping pills where you are but whatever they give you, remember it's only a short-term fix. Sleeping pills can also be addictive (doesn't modern medicine suck!).

Also, not sure what other symptoms you are feeling but when I stopped taking Vicodin, (admittedly after only taking it for a few months), alka seltzer helped me too. For some reason, for me, the feeling felt like a hangover from hell that would never go away..

It is harder if you're not doing anything all day. I'm stuck at home recovering from an op and being bored definitely doesn't help. Read some of the posts by Nelly005. She has written some great advice for me on what else you can do to make w/d a little easier.

[in2deep]

ive been suffering from cold like symptons & a bad stomach along with rls, although i have to admit im feeling quite a bit better today so i have not taken as much diazepam as the doctor said to but i dont think thats a bad thing. My boyf has introduced me to his xbox 360 so i have immersed myself in fable 2 which defo takes my mind off everything. Even better ive just had a phonecall to say i have a job interview tomorrow at a top marketing company on the request of the MD because he was that impressed with my cv! How great is that! This is day 5 of my wd & the main thing im feeling now is just tiredness & abit depressed but the days events are perking me up abit. Im proud of myself for sticking to it, if i was taking codeine i wouldnt have even applied for that job. Im just trying to maintain this positivity & bollocks to everything else. I just have to decide what to wear tomorrow now!

[Businessman1]

That's so great. See what a difference a day makes.

I've read a lot of posts on here from people saying that they felt better after day 4. Hopefully it will be the same for me!

"Bollocks" I love that word!

[Businessman1]

oh one more thing. wear whatever people at the company you are interviewing for wear. I interview people all the time. It helps them see how you would fit into their culture. I know this is not strictly a drug issue

[in2deep]

bollocks is one of my favourite expressions, if only i had a £1 for each time i said it. Im wearing a black suit tomorrow with a purple shirt under, better than white i think, everyone wears white & some killer boots, just had a dress rehearsal & have to say i look 5ft 6" of hotness! Lol. Im goin to do my nails now. For anyone who is going through what i have just been through, a project is good, it really helps, i made a castle out of lego earlier, now that was the dogs bollocks, a proper excuse to revert to childhood behaviour for an hour or 2! Keep busy - it works!

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by in2deep

bollocks is one of my favourite expressions, if only i had a £1 for each time i said it. Im wearing a black suit tomorrow with a purple shirt under, better than white i think, everyone wears white & some killer boots, just had a dress rehearsal & have to say i look 5ft 6" of hotness! Lol. Im goin to do my nails now. For anyone who is going through what i have just been through, a project is good, it really helps, i made a castle out of lego earlier, now that was the dogs bollocks, a proper excuse to revert to childhood behaviour for an hour or 2! Keep busy - it works!

Hi in2deep
WOW im really proud of you...you sound great...your going to kick A$$ and get that job tomorrow...you worked really hard at this so get out there and show them how it's done...

Let me know how it goes, Melinda

[in2deep]

ok i was doin al-rite i thought it was gona b ok fr6m here but something is happenin to me & ? Dont kno what it is. I started to feel strange, cant explain it, my whole body has gome tense & jerky, ive just realky hurt my knee, i actually heard it pop & now its killing, i feel all contorted, like ripping my hair out, i took 8mg of diazepam thinking this woule stop it but it hasnt at all, my breathing is f**** up, all i can hear is me breating & ears ringing, surely thir cant b happening now? Its day 5 of wd for gods sake, does any 1 know wat cud b cauping this , i havnt taken any other drugs except beta-blockers & diaz what my doc prescribed. Wat is going on? Its scary.

[Businessman1]

I couldn't tell from you post. Did you hurt your knee, then start getting "strange symptoms" or did you just start getting symptoms that included your knee hurting?

[in2deep]

i felt strange then hurt my knee. My boyfriend was very worried, apparently he heard a bang, came upstairs & i was on the floor havin some kind of fit. I dont remember this, i just remember what i posted before. I dont know what it was, never had anything like that happen to me before. I just feel very sick today & wish that interview wasnt today.

[Businessman1]

That's sounds like one for the doctor. I know if it was me who fainted and started fitting, I would be straight to A&E.

How did the interview go?

[Robert_325]

I agree that if you hit the floor, don't remember it, and you're boyfriend found you having a fit then you should see a dr. That could have been a seizure.

I'm not going to try and diagnose you over the internet but you should see a dr. They need to do some tests for your benefit. Let us know how you're doing. Hope the interview went well. God bless.

[in2deep]

hey my boyf wanted to take me to hospital but i didnt want to go, i hate hospitals, especially mine, once they look at my medical records their attitude changes towards me. I'm also very good with denial of problems.I've got an appointment with my gp on friday, ill tell her about it. I've been sick twice today, forced myself to go to that interview, it went really well though, have to go again tomorrow for a 9 hour assessment, im unsure if i'm going to be able to maintain my concentration for that long, im just so tired. I want codeine so bad. My life feels so empty without it, the rational part of me knows im doing the right thing but the obsessive-compulsive side of me wants it-BADLY, its like an angel whispering in one ear & the devil in the other

[Robert_325]

So listen to the angel and rebuke the devil. I know it isn't easy and lots of people don't realize how tough a codeine addiction can be. I understand it's tough.

You've been doing this to yourself for half your life. It's going to take some new activities, some new friends, some new everything. Take if from someone who had to change everything in my life at 50. It isn't easy but if STAYING clean is important enough that is what it takes.

Good luck tomorrow with the new job. You can do anything you set your mind on if you truly believe you can. God bless.

[intelmetal]

Listen to the angels and tell the devil to go back where he came from. Part of it is just in your mind. Every time the angels speak to you, LISTEN ! I f the devil raises his ugly head, JUST SAY NO ! I know easier said than done, but you can do it and the rewards will be unbelievable. I was coasting along on D.O.C. until God touched me and gave me the will power to seek help. I am so glad that this has happened to me, as I am now free from cravings, free from chasing drugs, free from the unknown, ( which can be the most intimidating part of this process. Just keep your faith and listen to those who have been sucessful on this forum. With the help of the regulars here, you will get through this if you really want to get off the meds. By the way, I am tapering off of subs w/ help from Robert and so many others and I know I will be sucessful. Keep coming back here, it is a big part of your recovery. This place is AWESOME !!!
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

[in2deep]

thanks for all your posts, there seems to be a lot of wisdom in these posts. I want to stay clean, but i dont think i want it enough, im not going to have any codeine- today, thankfully there is none in my house but i know deep down i will one day have some again. Have i stopped taking it prematurely? Should i have stopped taking it when i knew for sure i wanted to, ive had 6 days of hell & still im wanting it even after what i have just gone through. I just woke up thursday morning & went to doctors & told her without even thinking about it. Im looking for any justification to take some. I know there is no real justification. These are the words of a true addict aren't they. Does codeine cause damage to your body when its not mixed with anything else like paracetomol or ibuprofen or does it cause damage even on its own?

[Businessman1]

I think your situation is different to a lot of people on here. Most of the posts here seem to be from people who have issues getting off Oxycotin, Methadone and Vicodin etc. A key issue is that these people are reliant on either getting prescriptions or paying hefty street prices. One of the key risks is overdose or being exposed to more problematic drugs like Heroin.

Codeine is significantly weaker than these substances and you live in a place where you can buy it whenever you like without prescription just like ibuprofen. You clearly decided to stop for a reason. Perhaps because you were taking it in increasing quantities for not much benefit?

I'm not really clear what codeine actually does for you. It does not produce a particularly powerful high and it doesn't sound like you are in much physical pain. You were taking a silly amount of pills.

Your mind will play tricks on you when going through w/d. I sometimes convince myself that I'm in more pain than I really am when I want some Oxy and I've not started my w/d yet.

You have already made it to day 6, it would be a waste to start over. I sort of know how you feel. I don't really want to stop taking my Oxys but I know I need to because ultimately I don't want them to rule me. They make me feel nice inside but to my girlfriend I'm a zombie with terrible mood-swings. Everyone who has been taking them longer than me tells me that eventually that nice feeling will go and I will just need them not to feel sick.

I'm not sure what long-term damage codeine does to you (that's one for a doctor). I have read in a few places though that the cold-water extraction you were talking about doesn't really work that well is getting rid of the paracetamol which could be a liver issue for the amount you were taking.

Oh btw there are lots of the god-squad here in the US. Each to there own but don't be put of by all the jesus talk - they are just trying to share what helped them. If I see Jesus I'll know I've bee taking too many drugs! lol