[Tricia.wright]

I've been sober from a 100mg perc adiction that lasted 2 years. I like to think of myself as a very strong minded person n I really have no desire to go buy the pills and take them ever again. My addiction started so I could cope wit anxiety after a bad breakup. My problem now is the anxiety again it's so intense I'm on edge 24 7 can't sleep or eat right. I really have no good reason to feel like this that I see. I beat the addiction before I screwed anything up my life is good. My friends n family loves n supports me helped me wit wd n I beat that monster bc I said I would nobody made me do it nobody even new my problem. I have so much to b proud of I am 23 have a degree in mechanical engineering and make really good money. Mostwould say it's almost perfect but I am always worried about something I cannot describe what. Am I afraid of life in general? Is this normal for a recovering addict? It's only been 9 days I can at least say I really believe I won't give into the percs again but how can I feel normal again? I kinda wanna see a psych doc or somethin but I'm just scared they'll give me someother bs pill. Y replace perks wit sometiin else y can't I b happy content n calm on my own WTF!!! Anyone who feels like me or can relate just talk to me I feel like nobody gets it even other ppl I no that were addicts at one point.

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by Tricia.wright

I've been sober from a 100mg perc adiction that lasted 2 years. I like to think of myself as a very strong minded person n I really have no desire to go buy the pills and take them ever again. My addiction started so I could cope wit anxiety after a bad breakup. My problem now is the anxiety again it's so intense I'm on edge 24 7 can't sleep or eat right. I really have no good reason to feel like this that I see. I beat the addiction before I screwed anything up my life is good. My friends n family loves n supports me helped me wit wd n I beat that monster bc I said I would nobody made me do it nobody even new my problem. I have so much to b proud of I am 23 have a degree in mechanical engineering and make really good money. Mostwould say it's almost perfect but I am always worried about something I cannot describe what. Am I afraid of life in general? Is this normal for a recovering addict? It's only been 9 days I can at least say I really believe I won't give into the percs again but how can I feel normal again? I kinda wanna see a psych doc or somethin but I'm just scared they'll give me someother bs pill. Y replace perks wit sometiin else y can't I b happy content n calm on my own WTF!!! Anyone who feels like me or can relate just talk to me I feel like nobody gets it even other ppl I no that were addicts at one point.

Tricia,You probably do not want to hear this but I will tell you anyway.NA meetings will help you.I suffer from anxiety too.Getting into NA and working the 12 steps will hepl you get to the source of some of your issues.It just helps to go and talk and listen and have a support system.Some people use Valerian root for anxiety.I have not tried it.Its worth a shot though since you are obviuosly having some issues.Good luck.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Tricia.wright

I've been sober from a 100mg perc adiction that lasted 2 years. I like to think of myself as a very strong minded person n I really have no desire to go buy the pills and take them ever again. My addiction started so I could cope wit anxiety after a bad breakup. My problem now is the anxiety again it's so intense I'm on edge 24 7 can't sleep or eat right. I really have no good reason to feel like this that I see. I beat the addiction before I screwed anything up my life is good. My friends n family loves n supports me helped me wit wd n I beat that monster bc I said I would nobody made me do it nobody even new my problem. I have so much to b proud of I am 23 have a degree in mechanical engineering and make really good money. Mostwould say it's almost perfect but I am always worried about something I cannot describe what. Am I afraid of life in general? Is this normal for a recovering addict? It's only been 9 days I can at least say I really believe I won't give into the percs again but how can I feel normal again? I kinda wanna see a psych doc or somethin but I'm just scared they'll give me someother bs pill. Y replace perks wit sometiin else y can't I b happy content n calm on my own WTF!!! Anyone who feels like me or can relate just talk to me I feel like nobody gets it even other ppl I no that were addicts at one point.

Hi Trica
9 days is not enough time for your brain to heal.You just barely got the perc's out of your system...
You sound like a very smart young lady,be very proud of yourself...
Your anxiety should get better just give it a little more time.
When I quit my drugs and went thru w/d it took awhile for my anxiety to go down...
Just keep telling yourself everything is going to be ok...And your going to beat this and be right back on top where you want to be.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing...

Melinda

[Tricia.wright]

Hey guys thanks for the kind words.. Today started bad but got better as the hours passed. I've been forcing myself to work since day 5 of my sobriety and as hard as it is to concentrate and focus, burying myself in my work does help keep my mind from goin a mile a minute. I kinda feel lost right now like my mom wants me to talk to a psychologist or something but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I tried that right before my addiction started, the psychologist had me go to a psychiatrist and they wanted me to take meds for depression. I did not think I was depressed, who knows maybe I was wrong, but I obviously did not go with the meds they recommended. Those docs just give me a bad feeling like so judgemental after a couple one hour sessions, but on the other hand I did have a little bit of an anxiety problem even before my breakup, maybe I could use some help from them. We'll see what happens, I'm definitely gonna give myself more time to see if the anxiety persists, hopefully it will subside and I won't need anybody but the ppl who love me and support me. I'm sure its just because I havent really had to deal with feelings for so long, perks made any problem, conflict, or uneasy situation way more manageable. So I'm hopin I just need to time relearn to deal with feelings and emotions and all. And damn do I have some pent up energy, I need a freakin punching bag. Anyway, thanks to all who post on here, encourage eachother, and serve as an outlet. Getting these feelings out makes me feel better with every keystroke.

[Robert_325]

Tricia ... then go get yourself a freakin punching bag just like you said. LOL That is a lot better than starting on anti-depressants right now for what my opinion is worth to you. Of course you're feeling depression going through an opiate detox off the percs and all this other junk. Life is full of challenges some times. Don't know why people always want us to take anti-depressants because we are bummed out.

You are young, obviously bright and have everything in the world ahead for you in your life. You just need to get past this little bump in the road. Hang in there. Musicman's suggestion about recovery meetings is sure a lot better than taking some different drugs. You might want to consider that. : ( Keep us posted how you're doing. God bless.

[Tricia.wright]

I gotta few questions about some of the things my body is doin, I guess it's learnin how to be sober like I am LOL.. Anyway I have trouble sleepin and OTC stuff helps a lil I can sleep about 5 hrs but can't go back to sleep. The anxiety is part of that but I was curiuous how long the sleep thing might last. Also I been smokin cigs for years now they seem to add to my anxiety or make my stomach hurt.. I'm just gonna quit I guess but has anyone felt like that during recovery? With anything really not just cigs like somethin u enjoyed b4 n no longer do. BTW I notice a very slight but positive change in my anxiety day by day.. Just started work for the day n feeling pretty good just tired ugh. So ya I guess brighter days r ahead... I'm outta the dark tunnel the gloominess is slowly brightening.

[melinda7.5]

Hi Tricia
You got it right. It is learning how to do things sober again.It wont take you long, as soon as I got thru my first few day of work I actually worked allot better than when I was on the pills...I just didn't think so when I was taking them.
I still have sleep issues,but then again I always have had them.I take benadryl to help me go to sleep at night.

I was a smoker to and I started because I was stressed,but my anxiety went up also.
I think its because I don't exercise when I'm smoking...so that had to go also..

I'm really happy for you it sounds like you are well on your way.
If the thought comes back in your mind and says OH you can take just one today,DON'T DO IT !!! just remember the nightmare they have put you thru.
Hope you have a great day...
Melinda

[Tricia.wright]

Thx melinda I don't feel so singled out in this wit u guys sharing ur thoughts wit me. As for takin another perc ever again I WILL not that first 2 days of puke sweat tears and screaming scared the shyt outta me n I won't forget that as long as I live. What high is worth going that low? Thx again

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by Tricia.wright

Thx melinda I don't feel so singled out in this wit u guys sharing ur thoughts wit me. As for takin another perc ever again I WILL not that first 2 days of puke sweat tears and screaming scared the shyt outta me n I won't forget that as long as I live. What high is worth going that low? Thx again

One advantage that tapering or cold turkey detox has over suboxone is that horrible w/d feeling.That "low" feeling is a great motivation to stay clean.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by musicman48

One advantage that tapering or cold turkey detox has over suboxone is that horrible w/d feeling.That "low" feeling is a great motivation to stay clean.

Tricia .... Musicman is correct. When we think back to the horrid experience of cold turkey detox it should make us at least apprehensive about using again. I know that I would hate to think I ever had to do it again. Take care and God bless.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Tricia.wright

Thx melinda I don't feel so singled out in this wit u guys sharing ur thoughts wit me. As for takin another perc ever again I WILL not that first 2 days of puke sweat tears and screaming scared the shyt outta me n I won't forget that as long as I live. What high is worth going that low? Thx again

Hi Tricia
I have been clean now since AUG. But I will never forget what I went thru to get where I am today...
It was He11 The wost nightmare anyone could ever come up with...
I will never forget it.
Again, I want to say I'm very proud of you,you will go far in life with this behind you...
I always say if we can do this we can do anything..

Talk to you soon, Melinda

[batss]

Of coarse you're feeling Anxiety, you're recovering from addiction. Being an addict your world is full of rituals, and routines. Your world is all about getting the DOC and doing it. When that all stops, its like life stops. You have to relearn how to be a normal person again. You have to break your routines and rituals. And its really a really scary thing to go through. Physical withdrawals are painful, yes, but all in all easy to get through. The psychological part of addiction is a lot harder to overcome.

-Batsy's girlfriend

[Sue13]

How are you doing? I hope it is still going well. I just found this thread and about a couple of things you mentioned: as for the sleep-I have just learned to get up and do something. Usually I get sleepy and can then go back to bed.

And re-learning how to live life...I had to try new things. For me it was Tango-I started taking lessons and dancing my way to a comfort zone. Whatever you did before, add something new to it.

Sue

[shybaybe2003]

I too am recovering from addiction. I have fallen off the waghon so many times with vicodin. I even used to steal them. It is terrible. I am on day 9, I feel fine except i stil crave the vics. I am on lyrica which i am abusing, i do know, but it helps calm my nerves.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by shybaybe2003

I too am recovering from addiction. I have fallen off the waghon so many times with vicodin. I even used to steal them. It is terrible. I am on day 9, I feel fine except i stil crave the vics. I am on lyrica which i am abusing, i do know, but it helps calm my nerves.

That's all mental. There is nothing in lyrica that is nerve calming. All that is calming you is the fact that you're putting a pill in your mouth. Think about it. It's the truth. There is no reason to abuse lyrica, it can harm you doing that. God bless.

[python134r]

We come from a culture that wants instant relief. Especially addicts,even more!
I remember kicking cold turkey many times, meth detox, sub detox. After a while your body adjusts and becomes "normal".

Do yourself a favor, go to a meeting....N.A., AA......Keep going. Just remember it's hard without some kind of support.

Rich g

[billyshmoffer]

Tricia-
I have recently encountered some of the same issues you are facing. I am now 3 months sober. I highly recommend seeing a councilor that specializes in drug abuse. The only advice i can give is to take one day at a time. everything will get easier as time goes on, i am only 3 months sober and everything is already picking up for me. NA is also a great place to go, i have met many great friends who i can discuss my desire to use and they can relate.
Good Luck!
Billy

[pobb]

im on day 9 of cold turkey and all I can say is I understand all of what you have said. Even though you arent alone it certainly does feel like it ALOT of the time.

The anxiety seems to the be worst mental trait of withdrawal, your brain is trying to adjust to that all easy happy that came with the opites. There is no set days of how long this can last, and I can only say from experience that when the day comes, both you and I will be able feel better again.

Over the days i have started to realise there is alot I could have been doing for so long. However another trait of withdrawal is extreme lethargy when you just dont feel like doing a thing. I just hope you have plenty free days to rest up.

Im here if you need to talk.