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Chronic pain and wanting to get off my pain meds
Chronic pain and wanting to get off my pain meds
Hello to all who read this,
I am new to this website I did a Google search of how to get past the W/d's of Vicodin and Oxycontin, This is the most helpful site I have found that has real people with real problems on it. Here's my story, I have been on pain meds for over 7 years now I take them due to a bad car accident I was in and broken joints on my spine that were caused from being extremly over weight for so many years. In 2007 I had reduced drastically the ammount of pills I was taking on my own now mind you I was taking 3 40 mg Oxycontins a day plus 4 vicodins a day 2 Xanax a day and a host of other pills, I had a ton of energy and life back I would only take 1/2 of a 10 mg vicodin a day if that, Then the unthinkable happen the day after thanksgiving my father passed very unexpectedly from heart failure that's where my downward spiral began on the pills again...... I called my pain doctor and asked to be seen after spending weeks in bed. She got me in that same day and I walked out with 15 scripts. I couldn't function at all without my meds it was the only time I could smile, My children at the time were 6 and 9 and they were suffering also cause mom went from being very active and mind you I had lost over 100 pounds before this happened, To not getting off the couch and always crying I couldn't even cook anymore nothing matter but my pills then a little bit of me came back as long as the pills lasted. Then my heart had enough and I also had a heart attack ( my father died from heart failure) It should have been a wake up call but it wasn't I fell harder into my pills I stopped eating and lost another 100 pounds, My doctor kept telling " OH your doing so great with your weight loss" all the while I was suffering and starving myself so I could get the full feeling of the meds. Needless to say I lost myself in my pills when I would get my meds I was out of them within a week or two then I would go threw sever w/d's that would keep me in the bed until I could get my refills, then my yearly review came up and my doctor pulls a random UA on me and low and behold there was nothing in my system cause I had been out for 2 weeks So I told her what was going on and that I needed help so they put me on probation at the pain clinic and I had to come in when they called me within 20 mins or I could no longer be a patient at the clinic and that scarred the ******** out of me, and I was to sppoked about buying them from people off the street so that has never been an option for me. I finally got back on track. Then came the bad news.....
The last couple of months I have had a wake up call I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and I survived I had a very painfull operation that led to a post op infection and an even longer stay in the hospital but again I survived! The last couple of days I noticed that I have been counting my pills cause I know I am going to run out due to me taking them for the pain I still have due to the surgery and my normal pain but today when my youngest daughter asked me mom are you going to get mad cause your pills are almost gone that slapped me in the face and said WAKE UP STUPID!!!
I browsed the web and found out that part of what I was going threw was rage withdraws I would fly off the handle mind you I never hit my children and never would even in a rage I would just flip over th3e smallest things. So this is where I am asking my main questions.
1.) Can someone use Xanex to help with the w/d's of vicodin and oc
2.) How well can clonapin and cymbalta help.
3.) has anyone felt how I am feeling?
I really want to get off this medicine and resume living my life with my children and ideas and help would be helpful I can't do a lot of exercise so that for me is out of the question but I am willing to try anything I also want to stop smoking, More so for my health but also because the cost of smokes where I live are outrageous.
Thank you for listening to my long dra2wn out story but I thought all of it is better than parts.
Oh and just to let you know when I asked my pain Doctor about coming off my meds with that new subaxone she flipped and told me that if I even called one and got info I could be removed as a client I was floored. Also she told me that I would never lead a normal life without my pain meds even with me telling her I don't take them for the relief of pain anymore but to get high or just get that happy feeling since I have never drank or used street drugs I don't know the true feeling of being high. I am 6 weeks post-op and still have a lot of pain but my meds don't touch that pain they do however help with the extreme pain in my back, I was told a couple of years back by a Physical therapist that the pain in my back could be manageable with PT. I just need some help and professionally I'm not getting it so I figured that people going threw the same thing might be able to help more Thank you for your time and thoughts.
Im pulling up thr thonas recipe for you and i will check on you in the morning...
"PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
It sounds like that your pain management doctor likes keeping you drugged up. Probably because your pm dr might be getting kick backs from the drug companies for their meds being prescribed. I would look into getting a new doctor that would support your wanting to getting off the pain medications.
If you want to live life on your own terms,
You got to be willing to crash and burn
You don't have to live this way
Although I'm fairly new to this board, I am quite experienced with addiction and recovery - I struggled with addiction to pain pills for over 2 decades, and have been clean of ALL of them for over 5 years. (Before that, I had been clean for over 11 years, but did have a brief relapse in 2003. I just want you to know, YES, there is HOPE! In fact, that's the reason I post on these boards - to pass on that hope to others in need.
You don't have to live this way. It sounds so painfully familiar to me. Clearly, you need professional help to get beyond (1) the physical addiction and subsequent withdrawal, (2) the underlying emotional issues that brought you to this place, and (3) finding healthier coping skills to prevent you from turning to a pill whenever there is a crisis in your life.
For me, that help took the form of first an in-patient detox program, followed by long-term treatment at an in-patient facility for women. YES, it was a long process - YES, it was difficult - but I can not begin to tell you how much it changed my life (AND changed the lives of my children)! I'd be quick to do it again, even knowing it was difficult - it's worth it 1000 times over.
It's such a tricky form of addiction - rather insidious how it operates. We start out taking the pills for genuine pain, then it becomes our emotional crutch to deal with any aspect of life. We don't even know how to be "normal" without pills! It is terrifying to live that way, I know that so very well... the very idea of stopping is beyond comprehension. I read it in your words - you are taking these pills to get high (but trying to justify that they are for pain), and you are seeking other drugs to reduce the withdrawal of the pain meds. You are being victimized by a doctor who seems to be quite uneducated about addiction, which I'm afraid is all too common.
For me, finally, it became too difficult to live that way - and by then, the fear of the unknown (recovery) was less than the fear of continuing on with the pills as I had been. I do suggest in-patient detox -- they will be able to give you SAFER medications to help you with the withdrawal symptoms and monitor that you are not in any danger coming off them. Most of the staff of these facilities have been exactly where you are - addicts, themselves.
I am a different person today - completely. I am emotionally PRESENT with my husband and children - something I could not be, while taking pills. I have developed tremendous coping skills and an entirely new, positive perspective of life. It's not unlike having gone through a "near-death" experience - and emerging ever more grateful for life! I never knew I possessed the strength to get past addiction -- and I'm sure you have no idea how much more strength is within you.
If I can be of help, just let me know. God bless you in your journey.
A year later
It has been almost a year since I posted to this site, I have gotten better with my pain meds I only take 2 10 mil. of Percocet a day as needed for pain and most days I don't even take that. So life on pain meds has been changed. I know it's bad that I still take them, But I did have a huge melt down after I posted on here on June 11th 2009 my mother Yvette Schofield passed away in my home, this was heart wrenching I fell apart. I dove so far into pain meds that 4 months passed by and I had no clue cause I was so high when my pain meds weren't enough I sought even more I was spending 5000.00 a month on meds off the street. It took a nearly fatal over dose to help me wake up and see this was no good for me or my children whom I love so much so I switched pain doctors and my new one worked me through all the severe withdrawls but it was a touch and go due to allergies i HAVE TO MANY MEDS SO i SUFFERED greatly... and now I am at peace with my pain I do have to take a pill now and then when my back goes out but mostly i just wait and try to work it out i WILL never be out of pain I was diagnosed with stage 2 osteo arthiris and porosis so pain will always be there I just know more ways to cope now with my new dr's help.
Thank you to everyone who replied to my post it was very helpful!!