Childhood sexual abuse, depression & the psychiatrist who "hit" on me...

[Hamza009]

I first saw the psychiatrist 1997-2003 at a public hospital community mental health clinic, he helped me through a lot of my issues. I went to Europe for almost 5 years came back & started having more psychotherapy with him at his private clinic for my ongoing depression & complex PTSD. Within a few sessions he was making inappropriate suggestions & stroking my back suggestively as I left his rooms. I stopped seeing him & started seeing a female counselling psychologist who was OK. Then she began saying things in support of the psychiatrist... It turned out he had tracked down who I had started seeing for support. I have moved to another country & still his lies follows.

In the mean time the psychiatrist has spread it amongst the medical fraternity that I'm a sexual predator that claims being sexually assaulted by male therapists & medical personel when therapists refuse sexual advances. Bullsh*t!!

I've never come on to any other male, never even been attracted to another male. But this psychiatrist has a real vendetta against me, moving to another country & stll his lies follow me. He has convinced my family of origin what he is claiming is true, my church, physicians, everyone I have ever known has been told his lies and believes what he is saying is true. Because he is a professor of psychiatry, everyone is taking his word as Gospel. Even previous male therapists who I respected & trusted, I have since had a few of them "hit" on me for sex. When you are a heterosexual man, having been sexually abused as a child, the most devastating thing is to have this happen to you. The betrayal, & the trauma of that betrayal.

My father & siblings have a deep hatred of me due to sibling rivalry. My mother is a sociopath & cannot connect on an emotional level to what she & my family has subjected me to throughout my life. The only member of my family who supported me was my older sister who died aged 20 & I was 16. Both extended family & the many fiends I've made over the years refuse to have contact. The mental health clinics both private & public refuse to treat me - I can only access their crisis teams, in a crisis.

The only reason I have not ended my existance up until now has been my responsibility for my cat, but with him so ill he will not live for much longer, my reason for living will have gone. I do not regret that I will shortly be ending my life, my regret is that so many people were so easily persuaded to believe the stories the psychiatrist has told.

I'm sure there are many other people out there in cyber-space who have been through or are going through my experience. Believe me, there is no hope!! The medical & mental health "professionals" will gang-up against you, support each other, & if you happen to suicide because of their actions, they do not care. It simply gets rid of a problem because they don't want to admit to there being sexual predators in their profession who use their position to prey on people who are already victims.

You might say that there is always hope, turn to G-d, there has to be someone out there who will help, or similar. Believe me there isn't!! No-one wants to know you when there has been the label put on you of being a sexual predator, when all that you have done is refuse the sexual advances of a mental health "professional", for they hold all the cards, they can call up fellow "professionals" who will swear on oath, in support of their colleagues.

Being on a government pension means my income is limited, my savings nil, & hope of being able to remove myself from this situation is non-existant... In this situation there is only one way out, & it is to end my existance shortly after my beloved cat passes away.