[melissa_321]

I'm 22 years old and Ive been addicted to opiates since i was 18. I started off taking 5mg Lortab or Percocet, just for recreation. Then I started going to a pain management doctor because i was injured in a car accident and I had major back pain. I was perscribed 10mg Lortab. I took those and stayed at that dose for about 2 years. Eventually, money got tight and I couldnt afford to pay $100 a month just for Lortabs. I then got into shooting up heroin. (I know, stupid, huh?)It made me feel so incredible, thats all I cared about. Luckily, it was a phase and I only did that for a few months because I saw what it was doing to me. For the next year, I did pills here and there, whenever I could get the money to get some. I never really had bad withdrawel symptoms, but I always felt achey and depressed if I didnt have anything. The cravings were the worst part. Then about a year ago, I got introduced to another pain management in South Florida, near Miami, where they only perscribed 30mg Roxicodone. In the beginning, they gave me enough to take 5 a day. After only a couple months, my tolerence grew so rapidly, I had to have them give me enough for 6 a day. That still wasnt enough because I shared them with my boyfriend, who is also an addict (which started after we got together ) After a while, we started running out within 2 weeks of my visit. We would get so sick from the withdrawel symptoms, God it was hell. You cant eat, you cant sleep, your legs wont sit still, you have chills,but you're sweating, your body feels like its just shutting down and you think you're dying.It was too unbearable, I almost jumped out of our car on the interstate because i wanted to die because we were unable to get pills and i was so sick. So we decided to go to the Methadone clinic. It was good at first, we werent ever sick, never had to worry about getting pills, we were active and happy. But after a couple months, we both began gaining so much weight, we got hot flashes all the time, and we were constantly tierd and so lazy, it just wasnt working. Also, its was $100 a week, so i quit that cold turkey and started going back to my Doctor. My boyfriend eventually dropped out of the clinic as well and now we're back to square 1. We both are starting to take 2 roxy's at a time now, 4 or 5 times a day. You do the math. We've pawned so much of our stuff, our jewelry, the TV, his golf clubs, and even the engagement ring he got me for christmas, just so we could get our fix. Today, we're still in the same boat. Its a struggle everyday.Its constantly on my mind. Even if we have them, I still think about it all the time. If I could give 1 piece of advice out of my whole life, it would be to never start taking these things. If you're just taking Percocet, Lortab, or Vicodin, please only take it for the pain, when you need it. Because eventually your tolerence will go up so high, that those wont do a damn thing for you. The roxys are like crack in the pill world. So many pharmacies around here are getting robbed and people are doing whatever they can to get their hands on them. Please avoid those at all costs, they ruin lives, and its just not worth it. Choose life.

[Robert_325]

melissa .... before I get clean in 2002 I was taking thirty 30mg roxies, plus around thirty 10/650 lorcets, 20mg xanax, 6-8mg klonopin and 20-25 somas all each day ... plus other assorted garbage.

I completely understand your dilemma but please understand that you can survive this and you can come back from this if you really want to. You WILL feel like you want to die but you can recover. I will be happy to help you if you are interested.

I would suggest suboxone for your situation, but it can also be done using the Thomas Recipe for lessening cold turkey w/d symptoms if you are not able to afford the cost of suboxone therapy. Let me know if you want my help. Check out the following link and let me know what you think. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[mumbled]

hang in there. think of all the $ youll have were here

[python134r]

Melissa,

I too understand where you are and what you been thu, I live in Hollywood, Fl. and there is a pain management on every other block. Yes, I was a dope fiend for 20some odd years, did the oxy thing too.

My point is that there is a way to stop, it's hard but the rewards are great. You don't have to feel that ********ty feeling.
Robert suggestion of suboxone is a good one, if you can. I also did the meth thing too for a while but jumped off because I refused to take more than 40mg and they threw me off.
That was a good thing. I kicked in MCC NY{fed} cold turkey after weaning down to 10mg.

Today, with suboxone there is no reason to suffer anymore. The Thomas recipe helps too if you go that route.

We all know the dangers of opioids, many here have suffered to. I try to focus on the solution,> recovery.

I have to tell you from experience that it is extremely hard to get clean with a significant other who uses. Beside addiction there are codependency issues too. The only reason my significant other stopped is because she od'ed in 2007 and died, I got clean in 2006 with a brief fling with Pain meds in 2008 and finally stopped a way's back.
Never looked back.....

Rich g

[cantkickit]

damn thos eroxys are the devil, i know many people in you situation and about 2 months ago i was there as well, but with some suboxone time(a few months, currently not taking them) and help from these wonderful people you can do it. i like to think of all the stuff i had to pull off to use $75-$100 per day. its so much easier to get suboxone and let that be it, the rest of your month is open to enjoyable and regular life activities, holler if you need help--im getting clean myself and hope to be at the ending of that chapter-my name is tim

[ridetillwedie]

I read your post...and I thought for a min, did I sleep walk and post this in the form? lol What you said, EXACTLY , down to the period described me and my fiance. The only thing that was diff, is that I never shot up or was able to afford to go to a methadone clinic .Started off small (perc, Loratabs) We were both in a car accident, started taking roxicodone. We have been on them for over a year, and the withdrawals are unbearable! I can't handle them. I don't even take them to get high anymore, at first I admit, I felt good, but now, me and my fiance are on a schedule just so we wont get sick, 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 2 before bed. JUST so we wont withdrawal. We don't get high, or even a buzz. But I REALLY REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT GETTING a buzz ANYMORE! I hate them SOOO much, and people that have never had w/d symptoms, can never understand why people can't just quit. It's not just the "mental" but the physical that is the worst. I literally feel like I am dying, like my body is just breaking down, and I couldn't even make it past the 2nd day cold turkey. I can't even sleep to sleep the symptoms away. I wake up every 30 min. soaked in my own sweat, I'm so HOT but FREEZING at the same time! I go to the bathroom every 5 min, when there is NOTHING left to come out!!! I feel like there are spiders crawling in my arm, and I have to shake it like every 2min... Anxiety like you won't believe. I told my mom I just wanted to die...the 3rd and 4th day of it is the worst...and I couldn't even make it past the 2nd day. I wish I could be like everyone else, and wake up and NOT have to take something, just to feel NORMAL, like everyone else, and not so sick. Suboxone is even more expensive then these stupid pills, my insurance doesn't cover it either or a methadone clinic. It is like me and my fiance lost everything valuable to us. It's so embarrassing, I feel guilty, bills are always coming (me and my fiance own a business) And now, there is a HUGE shortage going on and if a pharmacy does have them, they are 6 bucks a piece. I'm stuck and just don't know what to do. When will this end, when will I have the courage to try and end this cycle myself. I'm just so scared of the withdrawals I have to go through.

[ARTIST658]

Originally Posted by ridetillwedie

I read your post...and I thought for a min, did I sleep walk and post this in the form? lol What you said, EXACTLY , down to the period described me and my fiance. The only thing that was diff, is that I never shot up or was able to afford to go to a methadone clinic .Started off small (perc, Loratabs) We were both in a car accident, started taking roxicodone. We have been on them for over a year, and the withdrawals are unbearable! I can't handle them. I don't even take them to get high anymore, at first I admit, I felt good, but now, me and my fiance are on a schedule just so we wont get sick, 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 2 before bed. JUST so we wont withdrawal. We don't get high, or even a buzz. But I REALLY REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT GETTING a buzz ANYMORE! I hate them SOOO much, and people that have never had w/d symptoms, can never understand why people can't just quit. It's not just the "mental" but the physical that is the worst. I literally feel like I am dying, like my body is just breaking down, and I couldn't even make it past the 2nd day cold turkey. I can't even sleep to sleep the symptoms away. I wake up every 30 min. soaked in my own sweat, I'm so HOT but FREEZING at the same time! I go to the bathroom every 5 min, when there is NOTHING left to come out!!! I feel like there are spiders crawling in my arm, and I have to shake it like every 2min... Anxiety like you won't believe. I told my mom I just wanted to die...the 3rd and 4th day of it is the worst...and I couldn't even make it past the 2nd day. I wish I could be like everyone else, and wake up and NOT have to take something, just to feel NORMAL, like everyone else, and not so sick. Suboxone is even more expensive then these stupid pills, my insurance doesn't cover it either or a methadone clinic. It is like me and my fiance lost everything valuable to us. It's so embarrassing, I feel guilty, bills are always coming (me and my fiance own a business) And now, there is a HUGE shortage going on and if a pharmacy does have them, they are 6 bucks a piece. I'm stuck and just don't know what to do. When will this end, when will I have the courage to try and end this cycle myself. I'm just so scared of the withdrawals I have to go through.

Dear Ride,

Your post may not get the attention it deserves, as you posted onto an older thread. It may be a good idea to start a new thread of your own. If you don't know how, just ask - and we can do it for you.

The best solution for you would probably be suboxone. Robert_325 is our resident expert on suboxone, and I'm sure he'd be willing to help you, if you'll follow his well-tested advice on doing so. Here's a link to his thread about suboxone: http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

Any expense for suboxone is certainly worth it, to get you off the nightmare roller coaster of the roxycodone. If you follow Robert's advice, he'll get you through it with minimal withdrawal symptoms. Don't try to do the subs on your own, as that is not a drug to just take "willy nilly" as needed. You can't continue on living this way - and the only way it is going to change is if you take action to change it.

God bless,
Ruth

[julesh]

Hey melissa, I would like to tell you that your not alone. I am 46 years old did not try drugs until 38. Started snorting oxycontin, then by 40 yrs old that high did not cut it, met the wrong people so i starting injecting! When oxycontin changed started on roxicodone 30mg. I live in NW florida and the pills here are a dollar a milligram. I got to the point where i lost everything in my life! You give up everything including those you love the most for your addiction. There is help i don't suggest methadone, or suboxene, they are both highly addictive. Rehab and god is the only way out! Believe me. That is the only thing to help. Good luck. Please get help don't end up using as long as i did! I ended up escorting to afford my habit! I spent $48000 i added it up in a seven month period. So add that times a 8 year period. I got up to doing 14 a day. The more money I made the more i spent. God Bless You... Juli:

[Robert_325]

Juli .... I know you are trying to help someone but this person posted three years ago, had only two posts and I wouldn't anticipate a reply as that person is long gone from here. God bless.