[TND464]

Hi, I have been reading this board for a few days and thought I would try and get some support myself. There are so many here that seam to have the same problem im having, my husband is addicted to pain meds and has been for about 4 years and im also at my wits end with it all. He has promised me so many times he was going to stop these but every time he promises he is right back on them and there is no sense trying to talk to him while he is high. I noticed so many say their spouse is nasty when they their being confronted with this problem, my husband is the opposite, to friendly. The business he is in has so many pain meds and he can get them like candy. He had a terrible fall back in 86 and has had 23 surgeries so I know he is in a lot of pain but he can not control his meds. He can at times take about 6 to 8 Vicodins in one setting and there has been times he actually has thrown up due to taking to many. I have tried so many things to get him off these, from fighting, not talking to him for 2 weeks at times, leaving for a few days and he can be good for a few days and even sometimes a few weeks but then he is right back to them. This is really depressing me and I feel so alone, my kids are older now so I don't see them much, It's so hard to find friends because most people work full time so I sit in my house all the time and have no desire to even look for a job just to get out and get my mind off of this. I have no one to talk to and its getting really scary, I feel so alone and don't know what to do. I know my husband will not go and get any help but I seriously feel like I am the one that needs help now, I honestly feel like im going to loose it and it hurts. Where can I turn to to get some kind of help?

Thank you for listening.

[Dave87666]

Hello,and welcome...I wish your husband would go get professional help,but like I have said before if the USER wont get help and its just forced on him then most likely the help will NOT work for him...As for you well coming to boards like this helps you to be able to vent,and also get a better idea of addiction and what its like,also lets you see that you,and your husband are not alone...I know that in all of my drug abusing history that meetings like Ala-non,and Nara-non(sp?) have helped out my loved ones..These meetings are like AA,and NA meetings except they are geared for the loved ones of users..If its hard to find those meetings near you then even going to an AA,or NA meeting and hearing first hand what users themselves go through,and what they have been through...If you start doing this you also have a good chance that your husband would start going with you to see what its all about,and why somthing new has caught your attention..It could end up saving his life,and your sanity....I hope this helps you some!

[mpvt]

Hi TND464: You are in a situtation that has become quite common unfortunately. Your husband sounds as though he is going to need pain control for his lifetime. If this is the case then he should look into methadone as it has a very long half life meaning that it lasts a long time (24-50hrs).He won't crave other opiates if he gets on a stable dose of methadone.The pain killing strength of methadone is much higher then say morphine and definately stronger then vicodan (hydrocodone).You yourself can look into Alanon,they deal with alcohol and drug addictions for family members.Look in the phone book for Alanon and make a call.There is no need for you to suffer and these people will help you aquire the tools you need to deal with the problems at home.Good luck to you and let us know how you and your husband are doing.......Dave

[lebre56]

sounds like you really need to give him ultimatum....you take control of his intake and slowly cut him down or he will lose you, because you can't take the insanity anymore. i am in my husbands hands right now and it has been working. but he has to want to and let you. i really think he needs a good dose of reality and what will happen if he doesnt...THEN YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THRU...believe it or not, you are his strength right now and he needs a wake up call.