Its been a while since I have been around these boards. Last time I was, I was in the middle of my second relapse since overdosing on a combo of opiates and
valium in september. Anyway, I now have over 40 days clean and would like to share my experience and advice to those still suffering....
Let me start by telling you all I have been an addict since the age of 14 (about 7 years). But over the past two and a half years, I developed a major addiction to Rx opiates and Benzodiazepines (valium,
xanax,
ativan, librium,
klonopin, etc...). A near-death experience was not enough to deter me. But, just before Christmas, I nearly lost my fiancee, my home, and just about everything I have. I was up to about 400 mg of
Oxycontin a day, topping it off with 120-200 mg of Valium on most days. Since I have no insurance, I couldnt afford rehab, and no hospitals in the area would detox me since I was not having DTs from alcohol. So I layed on my grandmothers couch for 4 days and kicked all by myself. The only reason I didnt go into convulsions is I take a med for my stomach condition which contains a small amount of Librium. Once it was all out of my body, I decided I didnt ever want to go through that again...nor did I want to go through the desparation, guilt, and anxiety of being a junky anymore. Since, I have been attending meetings, have a great sponsor, and I have turned my life over to the care of the Lord. I ask him every day to give me strength. And he does. I also attend an Intensive Outpatient program two nights a week for 3 hours at a time, and see a drug counselor individually as well. For those of you still suffering....stay away from
methadone maintanence. Its only delaying the inevitable...withdrawling. If you can get into a rehab or detox, great! If not, you have to stick it out for a few days. In the end, its worth it. AA (I chose AA because there is much more long-term sobriety) is opening my eyes to a whole new way of life. Im learning how to do things clean and sober that I never could. The people there truly care and will go to any length to help you. When I have too much time on my hands, I find something to occupy my time, and keep my mind off using. I read, draw, and most importantly-I write. Writing whats going on in my head has helped me a great deal.
Sleeping will be a big problem. It still is for me. Try taking some
benadryl (or for people like myself who dislike alcohol-NyQuil) to help you sleep. Your sleep will get better over time, though it may take a while.
Everyone is different, and these things may not work for everyone...But I encourage every suffering alcoholic and/or addict to really put the effort into recovery. Having someone there to help you and encourage you is extremely important. And Im sure most of you have someone...at least one person. Being free of the shame, guilt, fear, and emotional pain of being an addict is a truly amazing feeling. I wish the best to all of you who are still battling.
Graham
Advice from a recovering addict 
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