[No Tabs Ali]

HI,

My name is Ali and I have been addicted to lortab for a little over a year now. It started after having a surgery and progressed from there. After not being able to get them from the doctor anymore, I ended up buying them on the street. I was spending at least $100 a week if not $150 just to get my fix. I have a great career and a wonderful husband and my addiction is not only effecting me but everyone around me as well. With the help of my husand and my moms support I have now been clean for 4 days. I know it is not over but the withdraws are not as bad as the first 2 days. Yesterday was day 3 and with the help of my doc who prescribed lomodil for the diareah and reglan for nausea and vomitting I am now feeling a little better...actually...much better. I almost relapsed yesterday, a "friend" called and had some tabs to get rid of. I wanted them so bad I threw a fit crying to my husand...I just wanted the pain of the withdraws to go away. My husand calmed me down and made me realize that if I did that then I would have to start all over again and all that pain would just come back when I ran out. So I am very happy to say that it has been 4 days with no lortabs in my system and I am feelin pretty good at this moment. Who knows how I will feel tomorrow but for now I'm good and thats what matters. I'm taking it one day at a time

[Robert_325]

Congratulations. It usually starts getting better after four days or so. Each day should be a little better now. Stay in touch and let us know if we can help. God bless.

[No Tabs Ali]

I have been reading a lot of the threads and I see your name everywhere! Thank you for your response and concern. This is the hardsest thing I have ever had to do but I know if I put my mind to it I can do anything. I WILL overcome this addiction. I have a coworker who I consider my 2nd mom. She has been clean for 3 years now and to this day still attends NA meetings. I have been wanting to share my story with her and maybe even go to meetings but am ashamed to let her know about my addiction. I don't want her to think any differently of me. We are both managers where we work and I'm also afraid of our boss finding out and losing my job. What do you think?

[Robert_325]

I think it's a great idea to start going to NA. I made NA meetings DAILY for years. Don't know that I would have stayed clean without it. No one will judge you at all. You should go for it. God bless.

[No Tabs Ali]

Yesterday was a great day for me. I got out of the house for the first time in a week. Saw a movie with my hubby, movie sucked but it felt good to be out of bed and doing something besides crying and throwing up. Today will be my first day back to work in a week and to be honest I don't know if I can make it. My job is so stressful and the tabs always made me happier at work. I know that this is something I have to do though. I can't lay in this bed forever feeling sorry for myself. I am going to take Roberts advice and find some NA meetings to attend. Well...I'm off to work now. I will post tonight and let you all know how it goes. Thanks for listening and have a great day!

[No Tabs Ali]

Today was a great day! I talked to a good friend of mine at work today. I have been wanting to talk to her about my addiction for so long! She listened, like I knew she would, and gave me encouraging advice...THANK YOU! It's day 5 and I feel good. Of course it's still in my mind...I find myself craving but then I think about the days of misery I went through to get them out of my system. I never want to feel that way again! My appetite is back. I ate a lot today Going to sleep now

[melinda7.5]

Hi Ali

You are well on your way ...We are really proud of you...I have been clean now for a year and sometimes I still have to remind myself of the misery that pain pills did to me I'm like you and NEVER want to go back there...

Have a great day...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by No Tabs Ali

Today was a great day! I talked to a good friend of mine at work today. I have been wanting to talk to her about my addiction for so long! She listened, like I knew she would, and gave me encouraging advice...THANK YOU! It's day 5 and I feel good. Of course it's still in my mind...I find myself craving but then I think about the days of misery I went through to get them out of my system. I never want to feel that way again! My appetite is back. I ate a lot today Going to sleep now

Glad you talked with your friend. Hope the meetings work out for you. I'm sure they will. Everything starts getting better after day five. You're on your way now. Just remember that this is only the beginning. Staying clean is more difficult than getting clean. Those meetings will help if you really work at doing what they say. Keep us posted. God bless.

[No Tabs Ali]

Just woke up...it's almost noon (I work afternoon shifts) best night of sleep in a week! I got up and made breakfast, something i haven't done in months because all I ever wanted to do is take pills and didn't wanna eat because it would bring my high down. Anyway...man it feels good to be clean! I know I still have a long way to go but I'm on my way to a sober life and I"m lovin it. As far as the NA meetings...I'm not sure when I will start going...it's a little scary for me to think about...sharing my life with strangers face to face. I tend to be a little emotional at times and I don't think I am ready to go there yet. But that does not mean that I do not want to recover. I think the online chats are working fine for me now. It feels good to have everyones support. Thank you Robert and Melinda for your replies and I hope everyone has a happy and sober day! I will post more after work.

[No Tabs Ali]

Well...it's been a week I woke up with a really bad headache and my teeth are hurting. I didn't sleep well last night, tossed and turned a lot. It's okay though, I have made it through the wd's now it's just the cravings that come and go. I got a sponsor yesterday and will start attending meetings soon and working the 12 steps. Still a little nervous about that but I know it's something I need to do to stay clean. The online chat just isn't enough for me. The easy part for me I think was getting clean. The hard part will be staying clean. I never want to go back to that life! I WILL NOT go back to that. I thought I wanted my life before drugs back but after talking to my sponsor last night, she made me realize that I don't even want that life back. Something in that life led me to the drugs. I want a new life. A drug free life. I happy life with friends who love me for who I really am.

I'm off to start day 7 now Have a great day everyone!

[Robert_325]

Good for you! You're on the right track now. Working the 12 steps can do nothing but help you. Keep us posted. God bless.