[suieseeN]

I cannot say any of this is relevant to someone who takes a long acting opioid such as methadone.

I became addicted to oxycodone senior year from the combination of recreational use, my father passing away, and my girlfriend of 4.5 years breaking up with me. It wasn't due to any particular one of those, because none of them devastated me (I was prepared for my fathers passing), but a combination of them. As many can relate, becoming an addict is often the result of a combination of several unfortunate events happening in almost orchestrated accuracy, as if it were meant to be. See, If even one of the 10 events that lead to my addiction had not been present, it would have never happened. I don't believe in destiny, but I do believe Jeh. (god) allows certain events to take place as a testament. It's been about 2 years since I got addicted and I'm twenty years old now.

In my experience there are several main constituents to failing to get clean. It's ironic for me to say this, but don't believe everything you read. Everyone is different, if you read nothing but the hard aspects of recovery, then your recovery will be just that hard. If you assume the cravings will own your mind for months or years on end then that is exactly what's going to happen to you. The smartest idea is to model yourself after a positive experience. You must remind yourself of the FACT that time heals ANYTHING. You will absolutely return to normal if you so believe it. People have recovered from much worse things, don't underestimate your minds ability to adapt, after all, that's why your experiencing withdrawals in the first place, did you think about that ? Now here is the confusing part. Don't confuse expecting the worst with having a negative recovery model. Expecting the worst may sound negative, but it can actually lead to positive recovery. FOR EXAMPLE (don't you love these?) Freshman year in high school I played B Ball, the conditioning was HORRIBLE, the amount of running and physical pain was much worse than I expected, because I expected it to be easy, and that's the only reason it was hard. The next year I decided to run track, to test my athletic abilities, to prove to myself I could do it, and get an idea of how much pain I could tolerate. Well I expected that it would be difficult, it would push my limits. Well it wasn't half as bad as B Ball conditioning, even though I ran harder, longer, faster and pushed myself more, it was still more tolerable than the experience I had the year before, simply because of my expectations, my preparations, and conditioning.

Everyones pain and pain tolerance will vary. Wean yourself to a dosage in which the pain is tolerable. Make sure you're supervised always. Have an escape plan, since there can be thoughts of suicide, there is no sense of putting yourself in a situation in which you feel that's the only way out. If you HAVE to take another pill and start over because the pain is unbearable then thats what you have to do, just make sure they are in the control of someone else who knows this so that is the only condition in which you can take them. Only take enough to relieve symptoms, not get you high. If you do this then each time you start over the pain will be less and your pain tolerance will be higher, this may not be the case if you get high or completely normal. Do yourself a favor and get clonidine and or hydroxyzine, it's the difference between tolerable and intolerable and having to start over again. If you get these medications or others like them, take them as rarely as possible. If its tolerable then tolerate it, if its intolerable take only whats needed. The more pain you deal with today, the less painful it feels tomorrow. Remember this, with sleep aids or anti-anxiety medications, even non-narcotics, you can end up with worse insomnia and worse anxiety then what you were using those medications to treat. Know everyday will be better, and is another day you're closer to having your life back. If you're younger, you will be surprised at the little amount of time in which your body is capable of adapting and healing. I was already feeling better by hour 60, that in itself felt great. I was working out at the gym by day 5. I figured I would put all that adrenaline to use instead of trying to fight it. The more you use your brains natural reward system like working out or by accomplishing things, the quicker it will heal. During the first few days try to force yourself to leave the house. It will make the days much shorter, being busy in pain is better than being focused on it.

To put my addiction into perspective, at 5ft 10 inches I weighed 200lbs my senior year in high school and could bench press a max of 345lbs.
When I went to the gym two years later and 5 days into detoxing, I weighed 145lbs and could only bench 175lbs.
I weighed 155lbs and could bench 210lbs in 8th grade. Now imagine how I felt knowing my old 14yo self was stronger than I am now!

[lilbri]

Sound's good if your 20 years old what if your 50 and up.