[livid]

How many here are using these meds recreationally?

While I AM bi-polar and on meds for that from my neurodude, and I do suffer pretty constant anxiety I pretty much only use xanax for my own pleasure (relief as well, but more often with alcohol for the intense high, sometimes so much I get blackouts and here about what I did the next day). Other words even when I am able to get the scripts, I use then when I want and always with alcohol... save your lectures, I really don't care if my breathing ceases as I sleep or not. I've had 3 unsuccessful suicide attempts, so death isn't a black cloud to me.

I am an athiest and believe death is a total release from all the bull**** of life... complete non-existence... so not an ounce of fear of death here.

[froggiefreak23]

Your beliefs and attitude, coupled with your "habit" of abusing alcohol and xanax at the same time is dangerous. I'll pray for you.

[livid]

save your prayers for someone who isn't an atheist thank you.

[buffqueen297]

Hi Livid ,I feel pretty much the way u do cept I'm just afraid to put it out there like you.I abuse meds but they're all street drugs.I hate my life and wish I could stop but til life or I gets better it's just a vicious cycle.I think I am bipolar ,haven't got help for it,cause I don't want to take pill's that make fel drowsy or slow me down.Someday I will have to,I know this.Thanks for letting it out and not worrying about what others say.It takes guts,Michelle[8D]

michelle

[livid]

well Michelle... if you really think you are bi-polar I have a little good news for you. First read up all you can about it online, if you still think you have both mania AND deep depression, see a psych. The med I'm given for my bi-polar (Depakote) doesn't cause any of the bad side effects that SSRI anti-depressants do. NO sleepiness (for me, paxil and all those ones did this to me), NO sexual side effects, some light shaking of the hands (but I can deal with that), NO feeling of complete unmotivation. There are possible bad effects, but if monitored shouldn't be a problem for most.
My depression has eased greatly using this med. I still have my times, but I literally spent hours crying my eyes out everyday before... and for what seemed like no reason at all.

I'll be the first to say that life blows... but hang in there, there are ALWAYS good times ahead of you

[sindiel]

FYI - I'm also an atheist. I have bipolar disorder, anxiety attacks, etc. I have also made a serious suicide attempt and I can honestly say that I have never woken up so disappointed.

Here's the thing: we're all going to die anyway, right? So you have to find something to amuse yourself in the meantime. I'm a fan of Schadenfreude; it keeps me going. That and reading. (Have you tried The Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus?)

Soooo, basically you're going to do what you want. These are just thoughts.

[Yogasmer]

So why are you on here? Whenever I hear someone say I don't care I call BS! And that's cool...but if you are really this bad off why not get some real help? I myself am agnostic but I still rather enjoy life, I don't fear death, but when I am not in a full blown episode or "in my right mind" I rather love being alive. This attitude and anger is not YOU, it's something wrong with your brain chemistry and unless you are willing to change it then life will just continue to suck.

I am bi-polar, survivor of two suicide attempts, recovering coke, oxycodone, xanax, nicotine addict - I still struggle with alcohol and boy do i agree that a xanny with a few drinks can be fun at the time (been there done that) the price in rebound is too high!

If you have a history of suicide and continued suicidal thoughts you should not be taking benzo's without supervision if at all...perhaps without them you could see some joy in life...there is another side to life.

And allow those that believe to pray - if it isn't real it can't hurt us and if it is then why not accept the help!

[Arthu]

Don't be worry, Buy a generic medications GenericMedicationOnline.com from safe and secure place, Always beleive to pray thank u.

[lovelynikki]

I feel for you. Just believe in yourself, suicide is not the solution. I can relate with your experience because I have a friend of mine who is hopeless already because of the pain she bears,until her cousin introduced the PhoneConsultation.com. She tried to use this for her pain meds and they deliver within 3 days. This website really help her and she found them great. Why don't you tried them?

[doc.rose]

Originally Posted by livid

How many here are using these meds recreationally?

While I AM bi-polar and on meds for that from my neurodude, and I do suffer pretty constant anxiety I pretty much only use xanax for my own pleasure (relief as well, but more often with alcohol for the intense high, sometimes so much I get blackouts and here about what I did the next day). Other words even when I am able to get the scripts, I use then when I want and always with alcohol... save your lectures, I really don't care if my breathing ceases as I sleep or not. I've had 3 unsuccessful suicide attempts, so death isn't a black cloud to me.

I am an athiest and believe death is a total release from all the bull**** of life... complete non-existence... so not an ounce of fear of death here.

I know you say you don't care whether you live or die, but if you are posting on this site, I believe that this is a cry for help!! Living is fantastic!!

[BrandonSS90]

Well, if you maybe consider it. I have Muscular Dystrophy, severe scoliosis, constant chronic pain, tachy heart, past respiratory failure, severe anxiety, severe depression, and opioid dependent.

Have you ever considered that someone may have more problems than you ever dreamed of? Guess not.

And I have tried Xanax, and it was like I took a sugar pill. Didn't do nothing for me. I'm now on Ativan everyday.