Lisa, here I paraphrased an old post on addiction/dependency by the brilliant Zippysgoddess.
I think it's what you're looking for.
"Someone who is dependent on them [pain meds] is just that, dependent on that med to help alleviate their pain and symptoms so they can function at least a little, for some of each day, and do some of the stuff a normal person would. We don't like having to rely on this stuff, we would give it up immediately if we had another solution. Dependent people, like us, worry about the side effects, the long term damage and we don't enjoy them at all. Many times, people in severe pain don't even experience the euphoria, as you said you didn't, and I never have either, that is what draws so many others to abuse these drugs to begin. Our bodies are fighting each day, just to function and enable us to get out of bed. We come to dread the drowsiness, the constipation, the nausea and etc. that results from using them, and that comes back sometimes for no reason, and of course again, everytime we have to adjust a dosage.
We are the people, who no matter how much we take, are never truly pain free, but if we can get some relief, a little easement of our agony, just a little cessation, we will take what we can get.
However, if we turn around, and one day, we can no longer get our meds, we will go home in our misery and cry. An addict will beg, borrow, or steal, in most cases, though not all, to get their fix. They don't wait for their doc to prescribe something, they will play doctor, pharmacy, and emergency room shopping games to get their next fix. If their doc gives them a scrip for a months supply, they are out far, far sooner, and desperately trying to figure out how to get more sooner than the regular prescribing schedule. They are the people who panic when they discover that you can no longer have refills on Schedule I or II drugs, and they have to go to their docs monthly to get a new scrip, because they know they will be out long before that month is up and in dangerous withdrawal if they don't find more.
So, before you call yourself an addict, read some of the posts on these boards, you will see addicts who have stolen pills from their own mothers, from cancer ridden relatives on their deathbeds, just to selfishly get their next fix. Yes, there are some who will not stoop that low, but many forget about everyone but themselves and needing their next fix, and they forget how to care. Then you will see the drastic difference.
A person who uses them as prescribed, who goes to their doc and asks for help when their pain is out of control, but will not try to self medicate, or deliberately take 10 pills at a time to get help, is not an addict. I know, very frequently, just because we have to use these types of meds, we are lumped together, by misinformed people, doctor's, pharmacists and sometimes even our own families. It is very sad, but just one of those things we have to shrug off and plod on. If you use them as you are supposed to, and do not abuse them, or hurt others, or con the docs to get stuff you don't need, then you are not an addict."
HTP,
~Cats
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