[GivingItAGo]

Broke up with my girlfriend of three years on Thursday. Friday was the last time I took Methadone, we're at Tuesday here and trying to get by. Could use a bit of support.

I've been prescribed some meds, and purchased others on the street market. Vics stopped doing it for me and I moved onto Methadone - it took me over.

I'm not sure I want the girl back, but I know I need to be drug free.

Tomorrow at 11PM it will be five days. I've lurked on this site for a while and I know it can last longer than five days. The last round I went through was a 9 day Methadone binge, taking 10-15 MG a day and drinking with it. I've gone months without taking a day off, this time I happened to take 4-5 days off before I jumped back in.

I just want to be in control. Quitting this ******** will be the best thing for me. Congrats to you all who are sober, and continue to fight it everyday- it's not easy, but drugs hold the fog in your head, making you incapable of running your life, simply put. Taking control right here and now.... had a problem sleeping last night, woke up at 5:00AM after four hours of sleep, but managed to fall back to sleep - lots of emotions going through my head right now... and also trying to kick the habit. Push on til tomorrow...

[brndout]

Hi _This is Linda and I am sorry that you are in a bad way. I know that methadone w/d is long and if you are down to 10-15 `MG couldn't you switch to Suboxone and get off of this "merry go round ?" As far as taking control -I hope you mean taking control as in , NO MORE , not ("I think I can control it this time")

[Robert_325]

GivingItAGo ..... jumping off methadone is tough. You're not at a terribly high dose but even 10-15mg of methadone can be very uncomfortable. In addition W/D can last quite a bit longer with methadone than with other opiates.

I hate seeing you stopping abruptly at that high a dose. I agree with Linda that if you want off the methadone the most pain-free way to do it is with suboxone/subutex. If you don't do that I would taper off the methadone all the way to ZERO. But again, tapering is easier with subs than with methadone. You've just got to make sure you're doing it the right way with using subs.

If you decide you want to go that route I can help you. I'm here every day and over 50% of my time is spent just with those using subs. I can help you if you're interested. Let me know. Here is my link explaining how I suggest using subs. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[GivingItAGo]

Thanks Robert. I've seen you helping people alot on here, pretty cool of you to do.

Last night sucked big time, I was up until 7:00AM trying to sleep, it wasn't too comfortable. I have sleep apnea and finally fell asleep at 7AM *without* my breathing machine of course...here I am up at 11:00AM. I technically don't sleep at all when I don't use the machine since I have sleep interruptions all night, but I'll take what I can get here.

As for the Suboxone, I am open to the idea but I just don't want my insurance company finding out I ran into a big problem with opiates and I doubt I can afford that stuff without using the insurance.

Problem is I have a class that starts on the 22nd and I really need to be a good mental state to take it seriously and pass... that's my main concern.

I'm not fully convinced I need the Suboxone... but I'm unaware of what's to come - I've kicked this stuff without it before but my sleep patterns wern't right for a long time - I really can't afford to be only sleeping a few hours a night for the next weeks to come.

Xanex seems to help with sleep, I could grab some from a friend. Hell, I might even be able to score some Suboxone from a friend... would getting like a week's dose do anything for me?

[Robert_325]

It's impossible to even know what a "week's worth" of suboxone is. Everyone is different and I don't think a week would do it. IF you're going to go the suboxone route you need to plan on it for at least six weeks depending on how you do.

If you're talking about the 22nd of this month having a class starting I doubt seriously if your methadone w/d is over by then. Methadone w/d can last a month if you don't taper down to zero. You may be the exception but you would be a big exception. My experience is that you'll still be having w/d symptoms next week.

I understand the sleep apnea. Last sleep study I did they told me I was waking up 42 times an hour. I haven't slept good in years. I don't use a c-pap any longer though as my apnea is lots better than it used to be. I lost a BUNCH of weight about 5-6 years ago and that made lots of difference. Plus I HATE c-pap machines. Stay in touch. God bless.

[GivingItAGo]

If I go get Suboxone, are my insurance rates going to go through the roof? Will my parents know I got the drug for opiate addiction?

Thanks in advance. I'm also very very concerned about trading one thing for the next. Everyone says getting off Subs ain't easy either. To be honest, during the day I'm really not feeling too miserable.

I'm able to go to the gym, clean the house a little, and try to keep my head up... all while kicking Methadone *and* losing the relationship that mattered most - I'm just not fully convinced I need the ********.

As long as I'm able to get up, go to class daily... and study, I think I'd rather *not* take the Subs... but sleeping was DEFINITELY a challenge last night... a huge challenge.

[GivingItAGo]

I don't want to play the taper game... it's so ********ing hard. You chase, you wanna get "just a little high." I'm close to five days in, wouldn't it be counter-productive to go back and now start a taper? The half life of this garbage is 15-60 hours, with the mean being 22 hours - so I likely have most of it out by now.

Of course I understand that doesn't mean the w\d will be gone, but I just don't want to take a step back by putting more in my system...I want this done, and I want it done now.

[Robert_325]

All the half life means is that half is gone. Then you wait again for half of the remaining methadone to be gone. Then you wait for half of that to be gone. Then you wait for half of that to be gone, etc, etc. It's a long process. It's not a deal where half is gone in 22 hours and the other half gone in another 22 hours. Doesn't work like that.

Your insurance rates don't go up because you have a health insurance claim. It's not like having a car wreck on your auto insurance.

"Everyone" doesn't say how hard subs are, just the people who don't do it properly. I won't try to talk you into anything. I'm just sharing that you need to be ready to feel like hell for a while most likely if you persist with the cold turkey off methadone. I wish you the best of luck, I'm not trying to be a doomsayer. I hope you're the exception to the rule.

Wanting things done "NOW" is instant gratification. That is a big part of what got most of us here. Good luck and God bless.

[stw66]

Hows it going giving,After reading all your threads I had to reply.
I quit methadone about 7 months ago after being on it for 8 years,It was real hard, but the monotony of clinics,counselors and everything else that goes along with it made me want off. the length of your withdrawls can very depending on how long and how much methadone you were taking at the time you stopped.My advice to you is to continue like you are(take something for sleep only if you need it),excersize is one of the most important things you can do along with eating,drinking fluids and taking vitamins.I can only let you know what worked for me. There is no painfree way to to stop taking methadone other than substituting the methadone for another drug.
Take care and I hope you do well.

[GivingItAGo]

Thanks for the replies gang. I will look into a few Dr's in the area that can prescribe Subutex...not entirely sure my insurance will cover it, we will have to see.

Today I feel a little better, back hurts like hell.. but what are you gonna do? All in all, I feel okay actually. I'm sad, but I don't mind being emotional. Really the only thing that really gets to me is the lack of sleep.

Laying in bed last night until the sun was well in the sky was living hell... I passed out for a whole four hours only to be wide awake and unable to fall back asleep - such is life.

If I go to a Dr for Suboxen or whatever, should I tell them that I plan to only take it for six weeks? Don't they want a longer program? Should I lie to him if I do go? Tell him I'll work his plan?

Hopefully I can sleep tonight... I will likely take a bit of Xanex to help with that. I took two (I believe .5 MG pills) Sunday, but haven't had any pills since. Trying to be extremely careful not to get hooked to Benzos. Tonight I could really use a decent rest so I will probably go by my friend's house and score a few days worth.

Taking it day by day, I will keep you guys posted. Thanks for the support, it means alot.

[Robert_325]

Don't want to tell you to lie to your dr. I wouldn't offer any information unless I was probed. Get your meds and move on down the road.

Nod "yes" when appropriate, listen to what is suggested, I'm curious to see what the dr tells you to do. It will give you a good idea if your dr is like so many others or if he really knows what he's doing.

If you are like lots of others you will get a big prescription for 16mg per day and before anyone knows what is happening I'll have you clean. What is anyone going to say when you're clean after the fact?

A suggestion for you ... when you're lying in bed in the middle of the night and you can't get to sleep ... just get up! It's so much easier to spend the night awake up and doing something or watching tv or anything. Nothing is worse than lying in bed and tossing and turning all night. That is miserable, don't do it. God bless.

[GivingItAGo]

Robert... you're genuine concern for people really shows through in your posts. I am honored to have you behind me right now.

I got out and lifted weights today, and also did a bit of cardio... feel pretty good tonight actually.

My last dose was Friday 11PM ... 5MG - I have five days behind me. I'm taking it day by day... right now I'm handling it just fine.

I'm not 100% convinced I need to take Subs... but tomorrow I am going to look into Dr's that can prescribe it to me. I'll also find out if insurance company will cover it.

I'd like to avoid it if at all possible, I don't want to deal with this later... I want to deal with the pain now - not six weeks from now when I quit subs.

Feeling actually the best I have in 5 days at this current moment. I even saw my "connect" tonight at the local park and didn't feel the slightest bit tempted to ask him what he's carrying - even though I full well know he has about 20 10MG Dones with my name on them if I want 'em - I DON'T WANT METHADONE ANYMORE - I AM DONE WITH THAT GARBAGE.

Another update later tonight if I can't sleep. As for just getting up, that's what I was thinking last night... I'll be on here if I can't sleep and also clean the garage etc

Thanks, much love!!!

[GivingItAGo]

Took got back from a friend's house - actually in high spirits right now somehow, someway. Lost my love, lost my life... kickin the habit but somehow I'm actually fairly happy right now.

I just took 1MG of Xanex to help with sleep tonight. I'm not at a Benzo guy at all, but tonight I just need something to make sure I sleep okay. I've slept like absolute garbage the last few nights, tonight I need a solid 8 hours - I'm hopeful this 1MG will take care of that.

Wish me luck!

[melinda7.5]

Hi GivingItAGo
I just wanted to jump in and say,your doing great...I wish I could help you with the meth but I was a oxycontin girl...and that was hard enough...LOL
anyway happy day to you..
Talk to you later, Melinda

[mpvt]

Hi GivingItAGo:

Methadone is a totally different opiate then all the others. I have known many people who try and jump off like it's heroin and it just doesn't work the same way. I respect what you're doing and think you're doing a great job but I fear you will relapse before or during your teaching. The back pain will get worse and stay with you at least a month.
I really think Robert has the right idea here and that's to geet on a 6 week suboxone detox. This will let your brain chemistry recover at a more normal pace. Also you won't be in the physical and mental pain that you're starting to feel. Methadone withdrawls take about 5 days to start and they usually get worse for quite a while.
I've been an addict for over 30 years with 7 of them stable on methadone and I can tell you that what your trying to do will be extremely hard on you. Like I said methadone is rocket fuel compared to hydrocodone or oxycodone ect. You have to take a different route with this med.
You want to quit and that's obvious so use that attitude and listen to Robert and I can almost garuntee you that you will have success. Good luck and hang in there.....Dave

[GivingItAGo]

Made it through another night. I ended up taking 2MG of Xanex to sleep. Ironically, slept at my "connect's" house last night so I could score some Xanex. He gave me 20 .5MG pills, I figure at least I'll be able to sleep for the next four to five nights.

I really don't feel terrible during the day. My back pain is becoming worse however. I just saw my Chiropractor about an hour ago and he said it looks worse than it used to - DUH, I've been getting high as hell on Methadone instead of dealing with the pain the way I should be. I haven't seen him for six months... he said it ain't lookin pretty.

As for the Suboxone....my dealer is out of town for six days, last night was my last chance to score Methadone and I chose not to despite seeing the pills sitting on the counter.

Six weeks from now I will be attending a series of concerts and I do believe I will be doing some heavy drinking, as well as possible use of Mushrooms and\or Extascy. I think coming off the Subs and introducing more drugs will be just too much on my system, hell, it could be fatile for all I know.

I think I can make it through this tough period... tomorrow night is a week. The mental pain isn't awful, the physical pain in the back is becoming a bit much but if I just do some Yoga and see the Chiro I think I can get through.

Tonight again I will take 1-2MG of Xanex to sleep... I hope I'm not getting addicted to that ******** now. I only have 10MG total, so I highly doubt my body is going to get addicted in the short span of 6-7 days but I could be wrong?

[GivingItAGo]

Off to sleep again here tonight... just took 1.5 MG of Xanex to make sure I sleep. Tomorrow I'm heading outta town for a few days... would be nice to get outta my comfortable surroundings and spend time thinking time.

So far so good folks, unless it's about to get much worse, I really don't anticipate the need for Subs. I really appreciate the support you guys are giving me. Can anyone comment about the combination of Subs and possibly use of narcotics at the concert I'll be attending six weeks from now?

If I get into this class Monday and I'm feeling really ********ty, I might have no choice but to take the Sub route - simply can't fail this class.

As of right now, I'm in high spirits and have total faith that this is my time to set myself free.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by GivingItAGo

Off to sleep again here tonight... just took 1.5 MG of Xanex to make sure I sleep. Tomorrow I'm heading outta town for a few days... would be nice to get outta my comfortable surroundings and spend time thinking time.

So far so good folks, unless it's about to get much worse, I really don't anticipate the need for Subs. I really appreciate the support you guys are giving me. Can anyone comment about the combination of Subs and possibly use of narcotics at the concert I'll be attending six weeks from now?

If I get into this class Monday and I'm feeling really ********ty, I might have no choice but to take the Sub route - simply can't fail this class.

As of right now, I'm in high spirits and have total faith that this is my time to set myself free.

Even though you aren't doing this the way most of us are suggesting we are all still hopeful that you'll be successful. No one wants anything but good things for you. No one wants you to have to suffer just because we did. I think most addicts who see another person having NO problems in detox have to be a little envious. It's only human nature.

The xanax dose you're taking isn't too high so that sleep you're getting is obviously helping you. Lack of sleep is usually a huge problem in opiate detox. I hope things continue to go as they have for you and you make it through this as an exception to the rule. Have to admit I'm a little surprised so far but this isn't the first time I've been surprised by someone's detox results. Goes to prove there are no standard rules about opiate detox that are "absolute" for everyone.

We all know that everyone is a little different. When we make suggestions we have to advise according to what works most often for "the masses". The way you're doing this usually doesn't work out for most people. I'm sure you understand that we have to go with the rules for large numbers making suggestions.

I don't mind commenting on the use of suboxone and narcotics at your upcoming concert. You're presently beating all the odds with your detox. No way it should be going this easily! It couldn't be going ANY better than it is for you (but it's not over yet). You're now talking about using subs and narcotics over a concert? That is completely insane! I think that is totally asking for trouble, it's brushing off your current success as insignificant, you're not showing ANY gratitude for having such an easy time currently. It's like you are just trying to see how much you can get away with.

Stay focused on what you're trying to do and don't concern yourself if you can use drugs successfully at an upcoming concert. One minute you don't want any subs, nothing to help you as you're determined to not put any drugs in your system again. Now you're talking about using again already and that is nothing but a HUGE reservation you're keeping back. Reservations are nothing more than relapses waiting to happen.

You're young and I know how invulnerable we all feel in our twenties or thereabouts. We want to be able to party just like our friends do. But you're actually trying to plan a time in a short while so you'll be able to use the drug that put you here and you want to use it recreationally. Makes NO SENSE my friend. I sincerely hope that you trash that idea immediately. If you continue to think like that a relapse is inevitable, you're already making the plans in your head, you just haven't set the exact date yet. Please re-think that one. I'm right on this one dude, no questions asked. Please be careful and THINK!!!! Good luck and God bless.

[GivingItAGo]

Again thanks so much for the support Robert! I am very appreciative. I sit here proudly on Sunday night having spent the entire weekend sober besides a few beers and about a MG of Xanex at night to sleep - everything is going well. I'm more optimistic about life than I have been since I started taking the Dones. Perhaps my body is a bit stronger than some people who seem to struggle so badly around day 8-9? Mentally, I feel hard as nails and I am so proud to say I am in control again, I am not taking pain medication - ever, anymore. Not one single day.

My plan to "use drugs" at the concert DOES NOT INVOLVE opiates at all. I was referring to alcohol, maybe a mushroom cap or two one night... but perhaps not? I'm starting to feel like I don't need ANY drugs, not even the "once or twice a year" flirtation with mushrooms and other things.

I have "partied and stayed young" quite a bit in my life. I'm 27 years old, but I've gone down many paths. I never once developed a problem with any single drug I ever tried until the MDone. I was always well in control, and kicking ass in life. Drug use (no matter what drug) isn't healthy by any means, but I just never had any issues with being responsible and a good citizen while flirting with a few different chemicals a few times a year...it was not an issue ever.

Then I met Methadone which would eventually chew me up and spit me out. Destroy any real emotions I may have been feeling for the last year, and made me comfortably numb. I think partially the reason I'm having an easier time with this than some other people is because I kept my MG quite a bit lower than most people seem to work themselves up to with MDone.

Research tells me most MDone users are on 80+MG a day...I never went close to that high - not even close. I peaked out at 35MG a day and then woke up and asked myself what the ******** I was doing and stopped.

That was last Friday, and as the days pass... Methadone WILL NOT be a part of my life - no matter what. There is no choice, I can't touch the ********. There's now "just once more" bull******** that so many of you seem to have gone through painfully....I'm done.

I'm ready to deal with the back pain, it's far less severe than the mental pain the Methadone caused me.

To all you strong folks out there, figure out a way to get off of it if you are using opiates. Use Robert, use myself...I'm going to stick around for a little while and help others while receiving support from the others who have kicked. The light is at the end of the tunnel, you just need to get in the damn car and start driving instead of having the car in reverse for our whole lives.

[GivingItAGo]

On a side note, I'd love to say it's all been beautiful roses and doves, but at times mentally this has been a bit difficult. I am fairly emotional, I have cried a few times listening to music or whatever... I never cry, it's quite obvious the w\d are driving my emotions a bit here. My point is, it's definitely not completely easy at times... but honestly, even when I cry out of sadness, it feels AMAZINGLY GOOD! I have real emotions! I have the confidence to face what can be a cold world, and if that means crying... I'm gonna cry!! I also ended a 3.5 year relationship the same day I kicked Methadone, so my brain and body are going through quite a bit of transition right now - but I embrace that transition, and look forward to each and every moment of saying no to opiates - THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT - NOT EVEN A SINGLE PILL. If anyone is looking for a good self help book try "The Four Agreements" Very simple way to improve your life. I read it the day I kicked, and have gone back and read through several pages dozens of times to remind me how to stay positive - it's a great read.

[Robert_325]

This cold turkey detox is seemingly working for you and that is great! I'm glad to see you getting your life back. Just stay focused and keep us posted how you're doing.

I'm happy for you that you're getting this behind you while you're so young. You've got a long life ahead clean. That is very cool. God bless.

[GivingItAGo]

Update on the Xanex: I have 4MG left... probably will take one MG a night and that will be a total of about 10 or so days of taking the Xanex. Am I going to w\d from this ********? I don't even like the high, I just enjoy sleeping while w\ding from M-Done. Am I going to need a sleep aid you guys think? I'm exercising a ******** load, I would assume that will help with the sleeping?

I had a script for Ambien for a while but the Dr took it away when I told him about the episodes in which I completely blacked out and woke up in the middle of my sleep and did odd things that people would ask me about the next day. One of which was putting a pot on the burner with no water or food in it and putting the burner on high. Thank God for fire alarms!!!!!

I don't wanna be hooked to sleeping pills either, I had no problems kicking the Ambien but maybe I should grab something from my sleep specialist (sleep apnea patient) in the coming days? He won't give me the Ambien, and the other ones don't work as well... who knows, maybe I won't need anything

[GivingItAGo]

Sorry to post so many different posts, I should clear ALL thoughts then do one long post...anyhow...

so a few of the issues I'm having (outside of physical pain which I don't care about):

weird appetite...i weigh less than i have in 9-10 years. five foot 8 and i weigh 149 lbs...usually weigh around 168. i didnt eat much at all for first few days of kicking but I am eating again.

I sometimes feel like my body is craving certain foods I'm not giving it - I'm forcing down as much protein as possible but my stomach feels odd. Is this from the Done?

I also get a gag sometimes like I want to vomit... this too is from the drugs? I could feel my body craving carbs tonight so I ate a bunch of pasta but kind of feeling like throwing up again?? I haven't vomited at all, but I could if I let myself lol

What foods should I really be pushing? I'm drinking as much water as possible, and throwing in a Vitamin Water here and there because I know I probably am lacking sugar (i eat zero candy, zero soda, etc)

What the hell should I eat to help this process?

[GivingItAGo]

Do you guys typically have worse w\d during evening? My mental state isn't as clear once the sun goes down. It's amazing being able to be this in tune with my life again. I am in love.

[GivingItAGo]

Got diagnosed by Chiro today... slipped disc in L2 Vert. Knew it was way ********ed up but never had a clear diagnosis... just took the pills and tried to cope the best I could.

Gonna heal this the right way, slowly, carefully, with lots of exercise and yoga.

GOIN STRONG BABY!

In lots of ********ing pain, but let me tell you folks (if anyone is still paying attention here)... stop taking the pills. They ruin your mental state. Every situation is very different but it is my opinion than that the mental pain we receive from pain medications is far more difficult to deal with than physical pain. Of course, we are all so very different. I wish you all the best of luck in getting "healed"... regardless of the choice you make.

[melinda7.5]

Hey !!! Givingitago

Oh I know what you going thru I have DDD and my back gives me a hard time...
The one thing that really helps me is 8 min abs I swear when I do them my back says THANK YOU...

What kind of pills were you talking about in your last post......

Let us know how it's going...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[GivingItAGo]

Oops, sorry if that unclear Melinda.

I was referring to when I first developed serious back problems over a year ago. I was told I had bad problems, did Chiro sometimes... sometimes didn't. I was so ********ing high from eating pills that my back really didn't hurt. I moved up quickly to the big boys MDone. I'm clean and sober currently. Friday will be two weeks.... and I feel good most of the time, but intense bursts of anxiety for a few minutes from time to time.

Sometimes it's hard to keep the anxiety away, and discomfort....I just try to take each moment individually and refuse to take pain pills each time.

My last MG of Xanex is being eaten tonight... I hope the sleep problems don't kick in big time. I have taken about one MG of Xanex nightly for the last 10 or so days.

Time for those to go... I am just praying the sleep thing works out. I do have sleep apnea and can prescribed sleep meds if needed, but I prefer to take zero prescribed pills. You can do everything naturally if you put your mind to it.

In any case, Methadone sucks... it's the devil and should be illegal. It's so damn scary that they give out ******** with a half life such as the one with Done... so wrong.

Not to sound nasty or anything, I haven't used Peptmo at all, and today was the first day I was "regular" Does that mean I'm getting better?

[melinda7.5]

Hi GivingItAGo

LOL the pepto thing is a good sign...I would say you are well on your way...
The sleep will come especially with your aditude...
You have done such a great job I hope you are really proud of yourself...

Let us know how the sleep thing goes...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[GivingItAGo]

Will let you know how sleep works. Will try a little Benedryl... it's okay to take that the night after I took 1MG of Xanex right?

In tons of pain today... here I thought I was going to be saving money on not buying so much drugs, but I've been in the chriopracter every single day with little guarntee of success. Oh well. Such is life...

Struggling a bit right now, I also ended a 3.5 year relationship a few days prior to kicking so emotions are going crazy. I just hope I can sleep, that's all I want. I can deal with the pain!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Givingitago
yes you will be fine with that, I like Excedrin pm it seems to work a little better.
but either one will help...
Sorry to here about your relationship it's hard enough to do when things are going good...
but when it's done life will be better than before I promise and I bet your going to find someone better than you had before...
Hope you sleep good
Talk to you later, Melinda