Hi everybody
I was addicted to
lortab after being in a car accident about 5 years ago. I was prescribed lortab 10 for chronic back pain, and have been on it ever since. I was abusing it and built such a tolerance to it, I was taking 20-30 a day. It got to the point where I even felt lousy when I had the drug, I no longer got the "high" from it. I tried to quit cold turkey and the withdrawls are unbelieveable. I began seeking help for addiction.
I have been on
methadone treatment for 53 days now, and I cant say enough good things about it! The first several days, I had some withdrawl symptoms such as achiness and cramps, but NOTHING like going cold turkey. And then after the first few days, its like you come out of the darkness and into the light. You feel normal again. You can think and FEEL again! I know I heard alot of horror stories about methadone, it can be abused like any other narcotic. But if you are sick enough of being a drug addict like I was, you can have the willpower to get through it. Even though I still have some back pain (the methadone does help that also) I am willing to live through that to be drug free. I started out on 50mgs a day, and have lowered to 45mgs. Hopefully in 6mos as this rate I will be totally drug free
I was also assigned a counsler to help through the rough times. The cost of my treatment is $11 a day, which is nothing compared to what I was spending on lortabs (I was prescribed 180 lortabs a month by my doctor but I would run out in a little over a week and would have to buy off the street).
About a week into my treatment my husband left me. He couldnt handle learning about all the money I spent when I was an addict, and all the lies I told. I couldnt lie anymore. I told him and my parents and sister everything. He knew I was taking pain medicine, but he had no idea the extint of my addiction. It was like a weight being lifted telling my family about my addiction. It hurts that he couldnt have stuck with me when I needed him most. I wish he could be more understanding and compassionate, but I guess it was not meant to be. My parents and my sister have been very understanding and helpful though. They have shown me the meaning of unconditional love. And my counsler is helping me through my seperation with my husband (and ultimate divorce, I have tried to reconcile with him and he does not want to try). The guilt I had was overwhelming. How did I get to the point of addiction? What kind of mother and role model was I to my children? I felt of course that I tore my family apart. But she is helping me through this. She said that I am a perfectly decent role model to my children...that I am human and had a problem, and that I am facing my problem.
Even if you decide to go cold turkey, I highly recommend getting some kind of counsling also. Alot of the addiction is in your mind. Being on methadone, and slowly weaning myself off gives me the time to change my way of thinking. Even if you quit cold turkey and your body no longer craves the drug, your mind still will.
I wish you all the best of luck, I understand what you are going through. I hope you all can get the help you need, and try to be positive. I try to look at it as starting my life over and bettering myself. I had little if any self esteem left when I started treatment, and I am gaining more self respect everyday. I am happy to answer any questions anyone may have about methadone, just email me.
Deb