Hi everyone. I am in my 43rd hour of withdrawl. (Still counting hours...little steps..hopefully someday..i'm counting days..then months..). I started on Vic's several years ago for a long term chronic back problem which no Doctor's are recommending surgery for at this point. I have tried all of the non-narcotic medicines but the do absolutely nothing for my back pain...doesn't even take the edgeo off.). So I started on Vic's took those for the back pain, then for stress, etc. Eventually I became dependent on them. I would mix the Vic's and the perks when i got perks. Then i went only with perks because I felt more of a euphoria with them. Used to take maybe 20-30mg of perks a day. Then that wasn't enough, and increased my dosage. Up until a few days ago...i was snorting 75-90mg a day. I used to buy from someone who gets two scripts, one for 10mg and one for 15 mg. I would crush up a 15 (small green pill) with the 10mg perks (white pills) and snort 25mg at a time. Then that wasn't enough..and I was doing 2 10's and 1 15 and that wasnt' enough... Anyways...it ended up about 90mg a day. I would call my supplier and say...idk..give me 10 whites 5 greens. I would say to her...ok..this should do for the week..i'll call you on the weekend for my weekend order. But i'd be calling her two days later because I would snort them all up. So this past weekend..i ran out on Saturday afternoon, 4:30p.m. i did my last snort of 25mg. On Sunday I felt miserable and to make things worse, my supplier said she was too busy to supply me with some. So the entire day and night i just hung around, slept, laid on the bed, felt ****py, and at night..hardly slept. Restless legs, mind, feel miserable. So Monday morning I decided I'd try to wean myself off. So I called my supplier bought only two whites and 1 green (35mg total). Snorted those up....felt good for about 6 hours..then....started feeling miserable..but not horrible. So I thought maybe I could cold turkey. But I also know I needed help. I called my companies Employee Assistance Program...talked to a counselor and they referred me to a Doctor's practice..about a 50 min drive for me. I went there today. They prescribed 8 med's for me to take over the next two days to curb the withdrawl symptomps. Librium for the anxiety, Quinine Sulfate for the muscle cramps, doxepin- an antidepressant) Cata[res- a patch for the jitters, chills, shakes,
ambien to help me sleep,
baclofen - muscle relaxant, nabumetone - a kind of non-narcotic pain killer for my back pain). Anyways...i took the librium and the muscle relaxant and applied the patch, and the nabumetone. Tonight I am supposed to take about 5 meds. This is a home detox method. Haven't even told my wife. I have to hide my patch on my arm from her for the next 5 days. The Doctor only prescribes 2 days worth of med's and then you have to go back, get a urine sample, and get more prescriptions if needed. However, since I went thru the first 41 hours cold turkey with medium discomfort, I think by 2 days...i'm hoping i can beat the worst of the withdrawl symptoms. I know I have the mental part of it to work on and I plan on seeking help for that too. Guess I finally figured out I"m not superman and have finally shoved aside the macho BS. The insomnia and restlessness at night and the lack of energy is the tough part right now. But hopefully the meds will help me get thru the next couple of days. I have cold turkeyed before and was actually clean for about 8 weeks and then I thought..hey..i can have a few perks now...i won't get addicted again..i'm too smart for that now. BIG MISTAKE! Now I realize I am addicted for life. But I refuse to use my entire life. So i'm taking my first few steps. I don't know what I am going to do about my back pain. Without the pills, my pain is magnified a 100x more. But I'm thinking maybe the withdrawl magnifies that. I dont' know. I dont' have all the answers. Hell, I don't have any answers.
So let me leave you with this. I would truly appreciate your feedback and support. I am 48, hold a good job, great wife and family, well respected in my community. But i realize, pills are not prejudice and I am no different (better or worse) then anyone else. I just have so much to live for...and so much more to lose.