Hi Everyone, I am new to this. New enough to post a new thread instead of just add to this one! I figured it out though.
I have been addicted to Vicodin and
Percocet off and on for 20 years now. I won't bore you with the long story. Once again, I am on again and ready to say goodbye. Yes, I started because of Surgerys and learned to think that they were fun to have around. I have no control and at my worst have taken over 200mg in a day.
I read all these stories and I read about me. It's crazy that there are so many of us wanting to kick this. You would think if we were United we could actually accomplish something amazing like curing this! If there is such a thing.
Bottom line: We all want to feel good. We want to feel good about who we are and understand a little about why we are here.
Thank God for me understanding that I am capable of feeling great Sober and I even believe that I am actually happier, full of energy and excited with life if only I would give myself the time it takes to heal from this addiction. (Which I haven't for the past year) You would think this knowledge would have led me to be Sober now! That is the baffling part. My mind always lies to me and I actually believe it! That is addiction: One big fat lie laced with FEAR of life in general.
And yet, this knowledge is why I intend to quit (again) and not touch another. So here I reach out to you because I am starting my withdrawels going cold turkey tomorrow. Of course scared of whats to come and excited for making a step to get my life back. I want to feel "real" again. I want to feel that peaceful feeling when you wake up and hear the birds singing out your window and you feel that excitement with the day and whats to come. When you can actually make plans to do something with someone without fear of getting tired or being out of pills. I want to have spontanous laughter enter my life again and have some geniune moments and remain present in the moment.
So I dust off my sweater and get back into the game of life.
I do appreciate this forum. Thankyou for listening.