I sympathize with you on your problems with your husband. I know you said you never used drugs in your life.
I have a BS and have taken classes in medical school too... Plus I did research on chronic pain at another medical school. Knowing something and going thru it are two different things. I never would have guessed it would be this painful.
It is scary when you have pain all the time, and the only things that help you are addictive. So you face a decision quit and live in pain, or be an addict. You have to lay it out for him. He knows it is bad, (that is why he hides them) he feels guilty, ashamed, etc... he knows he shouldn't take so much. But it makes the pain go away. Don't we all deserve freedom from pain?
That is why quitting is hard for many people. They already have pain- that is why they have scrips for the darn meds anyhow, right?
Unfortunately dependence and addiction occurs with narcotic pain killers EVEN IF THE PT USES THEM AS Rx'ed! Trust me, I took the pills as scribed and it still happened to me.
I started taking rx pain killers for pain, surgery and all that... then when the pain subsided I took
tylenol instead of vicodin... only to suffer withdrawal!
See if you can try to get him to slowly taper the dose so he can quit. If he doesn't have enough self control to make himself slow down, you need to do it for him or ask him to go into rehabilitation.
When I found out I was having a problem quitting pain meds (increase in the pain I was taking it for, plus withdrawal symptoms), I immediately decided to taper my dose and get off these nasty things.
I won't lie to you, it is hard. Making it thru each day is a hurdle... I have to think in terms of hours. The pain is excruciating, I am taking so much tylenol and nsaids... and still the pain gnaws at me. Icy hot, heating pads, I use it all.
Before pain pills I couldn't get off my damn heating pad... and now that I have drastically decreased my dose I am right back on the heating pad.
Maybe he can try heat for his injury. Heat can interfere with signals going to nociceptors (pain receptors)
A little neuroscience... Substance P is involved in the transmission of pain impulses. Peripheral nerve damage increases substance P. When you take an opiate...it causes endorphin/enkephalin release... which down regulates substance p production resulting in perception of less pain. Thus when the drugs are taken away your body's own ability to produce it's natural pain killers (endorphins) is diminished... as a result your husband probably feels just as much pain (or maybe more) when he tries to quit the drugs as when he first started.
Part of quitting is accepting the pain. At least for me. That is hard. Put your hand on a hot stove top... you won't will you? Of course not because it causes pain. Living creatures have an innate pain avoidance response. By removing the pain meds from your husband all at once... it is like putting his hand on the hot stove top. It hurts like heck.
If someone threatens to hurt you, you are afraid... right? Same thing your husband will go thru when he quits. Empathy will get you farther than scolding...
I know it is hard to understand if you haven't had to go thru it. I never would have imagined it could be this bad. Worse yet, you really shouldn't have to be the strong one since it is not your fault. But he needs someone to stand by him and LOVINGLY FORCE him to quit.
He is lucky to have you. I know you don't understand where he is coming from. Try to remember he didn't choose to fall 20somethng feet and get hurt and have to take pills either... and I guarantee he didn't choose to get hooked on the same pills that gave him relief from pain.
Best thing you could prolly do is tell him that you know he is going thru a rough time and you are there for him.
Lots of people in the forum are saying
suboxone or
methadone are good to get you off. Remember they, too, are narcotics. In reality all he would be doing is trading one addiction for another. It helps some people. Some people it doesn't help. Try to wean him down... like if he normally takes 12 pills a day have him take only 11 this week... then 10 next week. It will still be rough, but not as bad.