I have flown my whole life - I grew up flying in small planes, both of my parents got their private pilots licenses and my dad has a Cessna 206 he flies on a regular basis.
I have never had a problem being in the air until I got one bad flight (albeit a short one) and that was all it took. When I got to the ground I was swearing off the friendly skies forever. When I HAD to fly again for business I thought holy sh*t, how am I going to get on this plane and go? I sucked up my pride and went to my MD and she gave me I believe
Ativan (originally, then switched to
Xanax/Klonopin or a Benzo of some type, I don't remember). It became my saving grace. I was calm enough to make it through (I have to sit near a window) and realize also that I needed to surrender COMPLETE control, what happens is out of my hands! As soon as those two things sort of settled in my brain, I was much better - not completely ok, but much better about it.
I still have anxiety today, but it is much more controlled, and I can at least get from point A to point B. I also recently flew with someone whose fears were worse than mine and it worked focusing on someone else!
Good Luck!!