Trust me, my friend xcalibure. I quit totally on my own decision also. The thoughts to use
will come back. I know a lot of addicts through NA, and they always come back. It is better to know that they will come back and be vigilant rather than thinking we have it beat and being blindsided. Your mind will play trick on you - maybe not this week or next week, but sooner or later it will. It has happened to every single painkiller addict that I know that has some good clean time. Somewhere down the road the idea of using again will seem like a really good idea in your head. It won't come straight at you either - your mind will try to trick you into thinking it is a good idea. It will whisper things like oh, I can handle just using a few, or I'm not really an addict, or I really am in pain so I can use a few... etc. The OTC pain meds are just as effective in reality if you stagger
tylenol and
motrin every 2 hours - maybe even more effective. I had a sponser tell me that it was going to become a good idea to use again when I was about 30 days clean. I thought he was ****ing crazy, and I thought there was no way.
Sure enough I came very close to relapsing around 45 days clean. You are doing really awesome to come this far already -
Stay vigilant!
Chrish
Quote:
quote:Originally posted by xcalibure
Thanks for all the hopeful words and encouragement chrish1, it means a lot. I wonder as well if this isn't psychosamantic, maybe my body trying to trick me. I'll probably give it a few more days and see how I feel. As far as the pills crossing my mind, it really doesn't, maybe because it was my choice to quit and not being made or forced to. But it's still seven days so who knows what is in store for me.
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Clean Date: 10/11/05
--There is light at the end of the tunnel--