Grief And Loss

GENERAL INFORMATION:

What is bereavement and grief? Losing a person or something important may cause feelings of bereavement and grief. Bereavement is a feeling of being deprived or suffering due to a loss or death of a loved one. Grief is a normal, healthy response to a loss. A person's grief is his experience and reaction after the loss or death. When someone dies, the people who were left behind may feel different for a while. You may cry a lot, feel angry, guilty, worthless, hopeless, helpless, or confused. Healing from a loss or death needs accepting, recovering from, and learning the meaning of the sad experience.

What are the stages of grief? As you experience loss and death of a loved one, you may have different feelings at different times. You may go through the following stages when you are dealing with grief:

• Shock, numbness, and denial: Even if death of a loved one was expected, it may still come as a surprise or shock. Shock may leave you feeling numb emotionally which may lasts for hours to days. The shock and numbness may happen right after the death of a loved one. You may also deny or find it hard to accept that someone close to you has died.
  
  
• Yearning and searching: During this period, you may get angry easily and feel anxious. You may miss and hold on to the memories of the person who died. You may feel guilty because of unfinished business at the time of his death. You may not have said all the things you want to say to your loved one. You may have had problems with him that were not solved. You may feel guilty for being the one who is still alive.
  
  
• Disorganized and despair: You may feel confused, lonely, and depressed. You may feel as though the pain and despair will not go away. There may be times that you isolate (separate) yourself from your family or friends. Once you slowly recover, you may try to reach out to them and enjoy their company again.
  
  
• Reorganization: As time passes by, you may learn to accept the changes in your life. You may finally say good-bye to your loved one and take control of your own life. You may now be ready to move on and develop new or present relationships.

What are the signs and symptoms of bereavement and grief? The loss and death of a person may cause shock and confusion at first. You may need time to go over and over the events around the death. You may think that mistakes were made, and feel guilty or angry. You may be in any of the following conditions after the death of a loved one:

• Feel worthless, hopeless, helpless, or confused.
  
  
• Get tired easily, crying often, and have a hard time enjoying things or having fun.
  
  
• Holding on to the dead person's memories, such as his clothing or other belongings.
  
  
• Poor concentration, not able to think clearly, or trouble making decisions.
  
  
• Problems eating, such as poor appetite or overeating.
  
  
• Sleeping too much or not getting enough sleep.

What are hospice services? Hospice services work with the patient during his remaining days, and also help the dying person's loved ones. Hospice care prepares you for your loss and offers continued help through bereavement programs after your loved one's death. these services help you prepare for the patient's passing, and give support through sad times after his death. After the patient dies, you and other family members or friends may enroll in hospice programs. You may join in formal bereavement programs during the first year after the patient's death. Caregivers provide support for survivors, and check if bereavement counseling or psychiatric help are needed.

What is palliative care? The main goal of palliative care is to relieve physical, psychological (mental), social, and spiritual suffering. This is usually given to those who have been diagnosed with any type of terminal illness. A terminal illness is an active and worsening condition which cannot be cured and is expected to lead to death. Aside from focusing on the quality of life of patients with advanced diseases, it also aims to help their families both before and after a patient's death. Survivors are given help to cope with the death of a loved one.

What can I do to cope with the loss? Accepting your loss, and the pain of the grief process is hard. You may feel angry, sad, or confused. Anything that might remind you of the loss can trigger these feelings. Events, anniversaries of special times, birthdays, holidays, and the dates of death may also bring these emotions. The following may help you cope with the death of a loved one:

• Express your thoughts, feelings, or guilt: Try painting, singing, playing a musical instrument, or writing poems, stories, or journal entries. Letting your feelings come out creatively is very helpful in coping with grief. Counseling and emotional support may be given by caregivers. You will be free to express your emotional needs to someone who is willing to listen. You and your family or friends may join support groups, or meet other families who have been through the same experience. Ask caregivers for more information about bereavement and support groups.
  
  
• Rest is important. Allow yourself time to heal. Grief is not something you can rush. Live and enjoy each day while looking forward to the future. Do not try to do everything all at the same time. Do only what is needed and let other things wait until later. Ask your family, friends, or caregivers for help.
  
  
• Share your feelings. Try saying what you really feel or share stories of the one who just passed away. Often just talking to someone you trust, or crying when you need to can be a big help.
  
  
• Take good care of yourself. Do not forget to look after yourself and other family members or friends. You must eat healthy food and keep yourself healthy. Try to get out of the house a little each day. Go for a walk or meet with a friend. Be sure to spend time with your family or friends. It is also important that you have time to yourself each day.

How will I know if I am unable to cope with the loss? You may be overcome by emotions brought on by grief, and have problems accepting the loss. You are unable to cope with the loss of your loved one when:

• Bereavement and grief is chronic (long-term).
  
  
• Grief reactions are delayed or very strong.
  
  
• Relationships, your job, or your school work are failing.
  
  
• Reckless behavior, such as substance abuse or heavy drinking, starts or worsens.
  
  
• True feelings are hidden or masked and you pretend that everything is okay.

Where can I find support and more information? Experiencing bereavement and grief due to the loss or death of a loved one is hard. You may feel angry, sad, helpless, or frightened. You may blame yourself, other people, or the caregivers and think something went wrong. These feelings are normal. You, your family, friends, and other survivors may want to join a support group. This is a group of people who may also have had a recent loss. Contact the following for more information:

• American Academy of Family Physicians
  PO Box 11210
  Shawnee Mission, KS 66207-1210
  Phone: 1-913-906-6000
  Web Address: http://www.aafp.org
  

• National Cancer Institute
  Phone: 1-800-422-6237
  Web Address: http://www.cancer.gov
  

CARE AGREEMENT:

You have the right to help plan your care. To help with this plan, you must learn about your health condition and how it may be treated. You can then discuss treatment options with your caregivers. Work with them to decide what care may be used to treat you. You always have the right to refuse treatment.

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