I won't touch SSRIs ever. I can't live my life being untreated. I have Bipolar I, anxiety, panic, and manic episodes, worse than ever. I deal with having the issues affecting my daily functions. I've recently been in a mania episode, and made some bad choices cause I'm struggling to control; I don't know what. I've been withdrawing into myself. I've been self medicating more often recently. I just don't want to feel depressed, so I have been doing whatever I can do to attempt avoidance.

I also deal with my partner not taking my personal issues seriously. I don't feel he has no understanding, or even attempt an effort. I start to share my thoughts and feelings pertaining to my mental state, but he either doesn't listen, or interrupt me with his inaccurate reasons for my behavior, or starts talking about himself. I feel misunderstood, lonely, and emotionally unsupported. My mental state has deteriorated and I feel I'm headed towards a place that's not positive or healthy. I need therapy and meds. Until then, anyone who can understand and relate, I would love to hear from you. I assume since I have nobody to hear me out, posting here could make some different.

Despair is what I'm feeling. Any words of support, understanding, and positive would be nice to hear! I have limited hope for the future of my ability to handle