... so I ate one of my father-in-law's hydromorphone 30mg last night because I'm the owner of two destroyed knees and the pain is unbearable to the point of making me suicidal. to top it off I'm suffering from depression. Im 6'4" 225 pounds and otherwise healthy. How much hydromorphone would be mortal to me?
So I'm 40 married and have twin 4 year old boys and a 4 month old daughter. I ran out of naproxen?
- Posted:
- 31 Jan 2011 by detrementle
- Topics:
- pain, hydromorphone, naproxen
Details:
Added 31 Jan 2011:
Im not looking for sympathy just the easiest way out, and a way that is the least messy to my wife.
Added 2 Feb 2011:
Sounds more melodramatic each time I read it. But it don sound wrong.
Added 3 Feb 2011:
I view this as a terminal illness more than anything else..one which also affects the wellbeing of my family.
Responses (9)
pattishan6131 Jan 2011
Please reconsider, your wife and other loved ones will always blame themselves as well as miss you terribly. Please let your doctor know the pain is this bad. Pain causes depression and then depression causes worse pain, it is an evil circle. If you are not having luck with your doctor helping you, find another one. Please stay with us. Pattishan
Anonymous 31 Jan 2011
Hi detrementle,
There are medications to fix that pain and the depression!!! Please go to your nearest ER and talk to a doc about how you feel.
Think of your children growing up without their father, think of your wife!
People love you, they will be devastated if you do this to yourself and them.
Please please go to hospital NOW!!!
sweetlemon
LaurieShay31 Jan 2011
Hi Detrementle,
Taking someone elses meds is not a good option. Hydromorphone is a strong painkiller and 30mg is a very high dose so don't take anymore. You have too much to live for and there is help out there.
Can you get the naproxen refilled? Please get to a doctor and get help for your pain and suicidal thoughts.
We care here and are available to talk, please keep in touch,
Laurie
msfino31 Jan 2011
Hey Det: Stop for a moment thinking about yourself. Being in chronic pain causes depression, this is a fact. Do you have a doctor? Do you have a pain doctor? Think about your wife, and especially your children. Do you know how difficult it is for four year olds to grow up without a father role model? Is that what you really want them to do? You expect your wife to find you, but what if it is one of your children? Do you have any idea what that will do to them for the rest of their lives?? Since you are healthy, there are many options for you. But for this to happen, you MUST see a doctor and tell them what you are FEELING! Go with your wife. I know that men feel like weaklings if they admit that they are not perfect. What does killing yourself say about you, and all the gossip around your poor wife and kids? You are NOT a weakling. The fact that your wrote to this group means that you are reaching out for help.
detrementle
1 Feb 2011
I'm an intelligent, self aware individual, I've taken the antidepressent drugs earlier in my life... there are three years I no longer remember... five years a a zombie... and to be a little cruel I am using this chat room to bounce my logic off. The life and love I have with my family is erroding and at times I am very afraid for the wellbeing of my babies and wife. I am currently seeing a psychologist and a mental health nurse. I'm a few courses away from completeing my own rpn training. I am not afraid to ask for help... the health care professionals have done thier job. They have clarified the confusion and chaos I used to feel. I'm comfortable with my decision in that I am positive I don't want to be an accomplished cripple/depressed father who has lost the ability to feel remorse.
msfino
1 Feb 2011
You are WRONG!! First if you had been honest with the psychologist, that doesn't' mean that you can't be an RN. Second, if you talked to the people who love you most, I'm sure they would not want to go through a death,and remember THAT for the rest of their lives. Is that what you want for your family?? I've been in chronic pain for 17 YEARS!! My children were young. They are happy professionals now. they don't remember the BAD times, only the GOOD!! If you asked them today at ages 22+, and 25 what they would have rather had, I guarantee you that they will choose ME, not the pain. You are being selfish, and you are depressed. That is why you want to choose this. Go find another anti-depressant, there are MANY, that do not make you forget or walk around like a zoombie.
caringsonbj31 Jan 2011
Patti is right, I have suffered from pain caused from after effects of polio, a couple weeks ago did 4 fractures in my back, It is not acceptable for you to suffer with this amount of pain, the doctor should know what you are having to cope with and also if he is not able to make things more comfortable for you then you should look (and you will find a doctor out there that will help you) once you get this vicious cycle under control things will seem much different than they do right now so please please reconsider your options, I have had pain severe enough to wonder if it was really worth keep on fighting but life is so very prescious, I even went as far as to have to have hospice, once the pain was managed then my view on life in general was totally different.
detrementle
1 Feb 2011
bless you for your kind and careful words. The more I read your comments the more I realize that speaking here was unfair to you. I grabbed my 4 year old twin son matthew and was a handsbreath from hitting im today for no reason other than he was too loud. I'm loosing my faith in my own humanity.
DzooBaby1 Feb 2011
You need to stop and reconsider. There is no way out for you that will not DESTROY your wife and children!! Not only will it be messy for your family it will be catastrophic!! You dont want to do that to your precious babies!! And also think of your father who will carry guilt to his grave and beyond that HE was the one who had the medicine that you killed yourself with. I had two cousins who commited suicide and our whole family has never been the same! They totally destroyed the lives around them too! Get some help NOW!!! Have you discussed this pain with your Drs? Have you told them how you feel in that the pain is so bad you are contemplating ending it all? There is ABSOLUTELY no reason for you to hurt this badly. There are medications and therapies that can help. PLEASE, PLEASE reach out to someone and get yourself help. Tell your wife you feel this way-someone! You have WAY, WAY too much to live for.
detrementle
1 Feb 2011
Hi DzooBaby,
Everyone dies... thats truth. I am not a believer in any faith. I don't need to know there is something after death. It's been a long time since I feared anything other than permanently harming my family.
DzooBaby
1 Feb 2011
I'm not much of a believer in faith either. I am not telling you to believe in an afterlife. I AM telling you tha you WILL destroy your WHOLE family if you commit suicide. I have been one left behind by a loved one who killed themselves and I've seen the lives destroyed. You are being very selfish indeed if you cannot think about how you are going to destroy your wife and children. They will not be better off without you. You will leave a huge, gaping whole in their very being. Get help man!
Cathleen1861 Feb 2011
I don't believe there is "a easiest way out". Everyone whose posted here has said it all perfectly already. We are all very worried about you. Can you please post something to let us know how you are? Do you have a plan? If so, you must contact someone you trust right away and tell them you plan to kill yourself and what the plan is. There are suicide hotlines in all the big cities, if you don't want to leave your home. You reached out to us once, can you do it again? Let us know what's going on, please, cathleen
detrementle
1 Feb 2011
Hi Cathleen,
this isn't something that is going to happen tommorrow..or the day after. My has known of my depression from the first day we met. She knows my pain and battles I face. And while she doesn't understand and isnt being an enabler by any means, she has seen the damage I've done when Ive been sick.
msfino
2 Feb 2011
And tell the truth, does she know what you plan to do also??? Why don't you trust her to put that past her, and see what she has to say??
smileyhappy1 Feb 2011
Hi Detrementle,
Never make descisions about your life when you are depressed. I went through a major depression in 2007. The meds I was on gave me a psychoatic episode. I got admitted to the hospital on my 45 birthday for 6 months before the doctors found the right medications for me. I had a loving husband and 2 kids. (Still do). I did try to commit suicide before I went in the hospital. I'm very lucky that it did not work. Because today my meds work and I am really happy with my family. I know that you think there is no God but there is. He is always watching over you. He sends people like me and others here into your life to help you. You reached out, you want help not death. Find a 24 hour crisis centre or get someone to take you to the hospital. The hospital always helps if you say you are suicidal. Don't give up, you are not alone to go through this. I will friend you if you want to write to me. Also you have alot of caring people here willing to help too. Keep in touch o.k. I will keep you in my prayers. God help me through this he can help you too.
1 Feb 2011
whatever you do PLEASE don't make the mistake of doing something that you cannot change, severe pain alters the way you look and think about things, U don't have to live this way, emergency rooms are there for a reason studies have been done on pain and its effects on beings as a whole, what would such a thing do to your family? Would you want one of them to destroy themselves if they were hurting? you would want to know so you could find a way somehow to help, they deserve a chance to help you help yourself, give someone out there a chance, Life is really worth the fight I have lived with pain since 2000, I have hurt so bad I was afraid I might not live You just don't give up it's easy but once it's done its a situation that can't be changed!! Unless I cared a whole lot I would not try as hard as I am to convince you of how much your life really means!! You matter just remember that, Please get the help you need and then allow us the chance to hear from you We do care
detrementle
2 Feb 2011
thankyou for your time
msfino
7 Feb 2011
Det: Have not heard from you in a while. How are you doing?? Have you seen a doctor? Did you talk to your wife? Please, please, let us know how you are!!!
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Please go to the ER, they can help you physically, we can all give you support, Please think about your precious Children.
this hasn't been a short term thing and I realize it is physical more than psychological... however to live the rest of my life... becoming a meaner... lesser... bitter person will drain my wife and scar my children in what i feel is a much greater way than an accident.
Your wife and Loved one don't want this for you and if things were turned around would you want your wife to just stop everything, out there their is a way, Once pain is out of control it has a profound affect on the way you look at things, once you are under control things totally change, you deserve better than doing something to yourself, Please Reconsider the whole thing
Killing yourself over this is a permanent to a temporary problem. Their are far greater things to help you these days then there used to be medically! PLEASE, if you love your family then do not make them live with the fact that maybe they didn't or couldn't do enough for you to help you during this time. What if your child was sick or had a situation same as yours? Would you want her to do this?
Think about it...