I now have a new Dr. She has me on Geodon and Lithium, and other meds. She just started me on Saphris Friday, 5mg at night, and to take the Geodon 80mg now only in the morning, and in a week increase my Nortriptyline to 75mg. All I know is I feel sick as a dog. Thought it was the nortriptyline as I inadvertantly took more than double of it for 4 or 5 days. The Saphris, I have never heard of, was in hopes to get me off both Geodon and Lithium. Partly because of the weight gain I have had when the meds were restarted. I lost my job, insurance, and was on a med holiday as a result. What the heck is this drug anyway... I have never heard of it? It does numb my tounge. Increased saliva. But the nausea, dyspepsia, dizzyness, weakness, tiredness, somnolence is about to make me want to throw every medication I own down the toilet. I'm in a position of having to be med compliant d/t legal matters from my last hospitalization so the father is trying for full custody. I guess I'm rambling a bit here. I think meds are poison and I don't understand this Saphris, and I don't want to take this crap no more. 'nough said. thanks for listening. Stephanas
Saphris - I have taken Geodon for years among many other meds?
- Posted:
- 1 Feb 2012 by stephanas
- Topics:
- geodon, bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, lithium, schizoaffective disorder, saphris
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Thanks Ruth.. yeah been feelin a little crazy again. All these meds and then my own med errors on top of the changes. I think the changes have been made due to my 30lb weight gain since August. I had lost over 60lbs, some with effort, and some after not being on meds. My doc didn't like the weight gain either. I guess I have to appreciate that. But right now I feel so sick. Its crazy to take meds to make you well that you know will make you sick, at least for a time, unless its chemo. There is cancer in my family and to you and yours who suffer with it, I am truly sorry. But the whole mental illness thing, i don't know, just really getting me tonight. Trying not to slip back into the dark places. There is much in my life going good right now. So not all bad I guess. Still no word on the outcome of the case for my kids two months ago. I'm engaged and have a wedding to plan for April.
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The meds just make me so sick and spun out everywhere, just trying to hang on through these adjustments. The only thing keeping me med compliant at this point is my kids. Its never been an issue before, but once I was off the damn cocktail of meds, life was a rainbow for a short time. I finally got plum crazy and certifiable after that so I know that I really do need them, not just a hunch that I might. My family never supported me on meds until the aftermath of no meds. Thanks for letting me talk to you and to whomever might be reading this. For tonight, its what I'm hanging onto and I'm glad I found this forum. I've seen some before here and there but never dove in. And it is hard to share with someone who has never been there. Thanks. Steph
Well, Steph, I'm not saying, nor would I ever, say anything bad about your family. But they are not the ones with the mental issues. You are. And if it makes you a better person for your kids, because I know it does me, than theres no shame in that. That's what God put doctor's and medicine here for. To help people. Sometimes you have to try a couple before you find the right one for you, and thats ok too. I have had to do that. I'm going to do that tomorrow. And I'm not ashamed of it one bit. If it will, and it will, make me a better mother to my child, and a better wife to my husband, than that is exactly what I am going to do, with my head held up. And you should too. This is your life, and you only have one shot at it. At least you can admit that you need something. That's half the battle right there. There are allot of people that are so messed up, because they refuse to take medication, and they need to. You know you need to, and are willing.
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Hats off to you, my friend. Hats off to you. Your not too proud. I am proud of you for that. And you should be proud of yourself too. It may be frustrating, but it will be ok. It will work out. There will be something found that will work for you. Have a little faith, my friend. Sometimes we just need a little faith. And then before you know it, things will turn around for you, because you had a little faith and a little hope. Thats how I've made it. Trust me. I've waited for two weeks for tomorrow to get here so I can see my doctor. I have hated the way I have felt. But I have had faith and hope. And guess what. Tomorrow's just a few hours away. Hang in there. Things will get better soon if you believe. I hope I have helped. Ruth
Ruth, thank you for your kind words and acknowledgements I had not even given to myself. I am curious what about the saphris you didn't like if that's ok. Maybe its not a good idea to share notes, i don't know. I get the driving thing for medical care. I moved from a major metropolitan area and medical care here is scarce, in high demand, and often 2 hours away. We are a one car family which makes this even more of a challenge. I have been chatting off and on with two dear friends in messages on facebook and I think just feeling connected to some of the few people I care about has helped. And then all the talking here today. I think I just needed this, and wanted feedback. I have a working diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder since '04, was Major Depression Recurrent Severe before that time and till today, PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety. It goes on and on.
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I was treated for Lyme disease when I was pregnant but all the pain symptoms on top of acute injuries I have sustained have lead to another series of doctors and tests and they now believe I have fibromyalgia. I'm just grateful at this point to be taken seriously about how I feel and what I have to go through to get through a day. Anyway was trying to say this new doctor is thinking I might be bipolar with psychotic features versus schizo. I see every comment I write here and to my friends tonight are all over the place. hopefully I level out and meds work better soon. Second back shot tomorrow morning so I should get to bed and try to relax about it. It seemed to help more than i thought it would the first time. And on a side note, I lost my job as an Assistant Patient Care Manager in a psychiatric hospital. I practiced psych nursing the majority of my years as a nurse. I would ultimately one day like to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I'm not sure cognitively I can do that anymore. I'm having trouble learning and retaining new material. I also had ECT in '04 which wiped out much of my nursing knowledge and entire chunks of my life are just missing to me. I had 3 or 4 treatments and when my family saw the state I was in they stopped the treatments early. I can say though that it saved my life. I let them do the ECT because I still didn't feel any better and was determined to die. The doctor who did the treatments lectured my divorced parents for stopping the treatments to prematurely to be beneficial in his opinion. Not sure what state of mind I would have had left if I received them all. But I sit here today writing to whoever it may help. I've been told I should have a blog, but don't know how to do that either lol. I was granted disability for the second time this October and its been a relief for so many reasons. Thats all for now. Steph
Let me tell you something. It is always ok to share. And yes, its ok to ask me what I didn't like about the Saphris. I still had allot of irritability and crankiness and I didn't want that because I have a four yr old, and I didn't want to be in a cranky mood around him. I can friend you and you can friend me back and we can have conversations between the two of us. If you don't know how I will tell you. I will friend you by clicking on your avatar, your picture. And click add friend. You will get something saying babyr has added you as a friend. There is a link that you can click on that will add me as your friend too, or you can go to my avatar, my little lamb, click on it, and click add friend and it will add me that way too, and that way we can ask each other private questions and stuff. I'm going to add you right now.