So I have only been taking the lexapro for less than two weeks, but it seems like a miracle drug so far. I'm so incredibly abitious now. Since I was about 11 or 12 years old, I've been suffering from depression. Not until I was about 17 did I start Effexor because I had awful social anxiety with severe flushing. I am 18 now, by the way. After a recent break up in March, I spiraled downhill. I was taking eight to twelve sleeping pills on a nightly basis, floosying around, smoking pot everyday when I never had before, drinking, all that fun stuff, but I was incredibly depressed all summer. Until recently, after a hospitalization for taking too many sleeping pills, I finally decided I had to force a doctor to try to switch my pills. So the walk in clinic doctor switched me to lexapro. (It had been a pain in the ass to get to my doctor and to go on time) Another issue I have now is not being able to commit to jobs. At all. I just don't show up, yes I know its horrible, but now I'm thinking of opening my own online store, flipping a few houses, maybe renting one out, learning the guitar, learning to skate, sewing my own dresses, and moving to a state I've wanted to live. I also had a recent run in with my deceased grandmother, through the radio. I realize how crazy that sounds, and believe me I felt crazy, but my faith that there is a good afterlife is strong, and that is not why I came on here.
Another thing about me is I'm a blabber. This is a new thing, too. I've always been the quiet girl in class.
I was thinking the other day about the way of thinking I had in middle elementary school, when I was the happiest in my life. I remember that I used to love to draw/design clothing and decorate things. I wanted to do productive things, even if it just included taking all the things out of my dresser drawer to reorganize it in a 8 year old's mind of organization. I loved to draw and paint, but I noticed in high school, I couldnt stand it. It's like the creative, ambitious part of my brain shut off in middle and high school, and now its been turned back on. I also have been having bi-curious thoughts lately? And I remember back when I would see naked people on a tv screen I preferred looking at women rather than men.
Am I crazy!? I want to know if this is something common or if Im going to sink back into awful depression in a month.
Thanks
Nicole