Quit Lexapro cold turkey - withdrawal help?

Thank you Kaismama and Seek. I made a personal disclosure at work to the occupational health and safety office about being bullied at work. She suggested I make a formal complaint to HR and she told the HR officer to meet with me. After making the complain I was fired a week later for not fitting into the org. A major medical research org where I managed donors. I went into shock so severely that I started hearing voices, spoke to people waking me in the middle of the night to fix me. I have suffered from the effects of stress before after my divorce In early 2008 and reluctantly went onto 10 mg lex then got off after a year and was fine. This time round I started on 10 mg lexapro in the morning , 200mg seroqual at 8pm and then 200mg of seroqual again before bed.

Expand this post...

After 4 months I was reduced to 200mg seroqual a nite and then 100mg quick release seroqual before bed and the 10 mg lex was increased to 20 because I was experiencing some withdrawal symptoms which was effecting my judgement to the point I had an accident. In all The drama of suffering stress and anxiety and depression I suffered huge blood loss due to a fibroid so I received 4 units of blood twice over a 4 week period until I had an emergency hystorectomy. After that I just slept my life away for the past 8 months, needing seroqual to sleep and lexapro to stay awake. I reached a point in feb when I decided that I was not coping with looking for a job and feeling drowsy on seroqual so I eased myself of that. Since then I have an aweful rash across my abdomen. When I mislaid my repeat prescription for lex 4 weeks ago I just decided I have had enough and I need to put myself back on the track I was used to. I believe I am manic I have more energy than the average 40 year old woman and usually only needed around 5 hours sleep. But as always one can be depressed without being manic but the other way around is never accepted and so psychologists keep trying to get me diagnosed as bipolar. My psychiatrist cant box me in so easily and while he won't say I manic, still supports that I get single episode stress related depression wit a specific cause. Unfortunately the last single episode of extreme stress related depression has left me suffering long term anxiety. The moment I start catastrophising and can't sleep I know things are about to lose shape fast and I get panicked and go though hell. Being droopy and edgy on meds was not helping so I just came off and trying to get past this by seeking support from preople like me who only know what this feels like cos they were in it themselves. Everyone including professionals think that we will pass it all once there's a label attached but I am not comfortable being called bipolar wen I am usually always happy and bouncy and I know how abnormal manic energy feels. I never got depressed I was too busy being happy for that. Being manic was a full time job. I had no time for depression and I honestly loved it. I hate this jittery fearful person I have become. I want the real me back only problem is I not sure how much of this withdrawal I can get away with before I need to go to my doctor and say I may need help again and the med cycle starts again.

Hi bill7340,

Expand this post...

I do not have a weak mind. My depression was not self. I drove home from work that day thinking I am a fighter and will just get another job and move on. A couple of days later while thinking positively my mind decided that instead of dealing with the shock and horror and consequences in a positive wat like you suggest, it was going to take control and repair itself first. I hate medication in any form but when I needed to close my mind, let it rest and let it cope with the stress of this experience so that I I could deal with what I needed to in order to move forward I needed the medication and it did help and when my mind was ready to do things for itself again it decided to get rid of the medication and go it alone. So to say I have a weak mind is something I can not agree with. Having a phd does not make you an expert any more than it education in psychology at masters level gave me. All the academic knowledge in the world did not prepare me to ignore what my mind needed to fix itself. The sad thing about all schools of thought is that it is driven by something that has nothing to with actually healing someone. Motivations are for academic achievement with theories that disregard the sufferer or by money like those drug companies.

I have come through the worst. And as a positive update I have let the boyfriend go. He has since slashed 2 sets of my tires now. But my mind is in a better place to deal with this and that's in large part to the credit of medication that allowed me to heal and evaluate how I would deal with issues when they arise again.

My life is one that is full of issues none of which I asked for. I did not inflict a psychotic bf onto myself. I didn't ask that the break into my house and have my dig attack him which resulted in my only true support to be impounded as a dangerous breed. I did not ask that I fight in court to get her back a fight that took 3 long months of no contact with my dog. I did not ask that I get evicted from my house with 4 children I didn't ask that I lose the last job I had because my OCD manager decided to infringe on my right to privacy by calling on My old workplace to gossip with his peers in The industry.
So in the past 3 months since commenting on here more Non self inflicted things went wrong and the truth is if I did not take the medication then I would beneeding it now todeal with all this. I can only suggest that if someone needs help use what is available at the time. Meds are good to help you repair but should've stopped once you have learnt to cope on your own. For some it's good diet and all your suggestions, some find the ongoing strength in religion. I believe to
Each his own. Taking a position that isolates an individual and making them
Think they are weak in their weakest moment does not constitute good advice. I know cos the more my friends said this is not you, you are strong the more stressed and depressed I became because they were setting an ideal that was unattainable at the time.

I suggest get the right dovtor psychologist and psychiatrist. Get ones that listen to your needs for that moment and are able to explain the different symptoms of your experience and help you through it.

Depression is an emotion just like happiness. They are not mutually exclusive but understanding that the both exist and not judging one better than the other will go a long way in teaching people to understand the mind Andean it is telling us we need for it to thrive and in my case survive.

During the height of my depression, I discovered the power of my mind and I was in awe. I saw 2 men standing at the side of my bed in medical attire telling me to get out of bed and deal with things and that I needed to fix it. Then when I fell asleep I would have dreams of my childhood home and my dead grandmother and uncle telling me they were sending me people to help me. I did not understand this to you it would be evidence of my weak mind but my psychologist explained that rhat part of my mind that believed I should be strong and fight surfaced as the 2 guys and the part of my mind that needed me to repart took me to a safe place and showed me the support of the one of could always run to. Trust is not a weak mind that us the power of the mind. Academics did not teach me that but my experience with a compassionate academic made me understand my mind.

People are on these drugs cos they need it to help them cope cos in some cases all the exercise and healthy eating did not make them feel any better so they use the drugs to mask the insufferable bad feels and give themselves a break from it. Then when they need to get off the deal with the withdrawal and all it's phases cos they want to live life without medication. Thats why we get on and then off and then again. Do you honestly think a person who is depressed for no reason is inflicting this on themselves? Why would they want that? Some deep seated need for attention as a 40 yr old. How attractive is that? Why would someone choose to be depressed and a burden to friends and family. For you to claim that it's a choice then you have a very bleak view of the people on general. Academically I have learnt that sociopaths and psychopaths do things for self gain and make no consideration for how others feel.

Expand this post...

Your view if depression amongst people reflects one that makes us all dependent, self inflicting individuals who are so obsessed with our own lives that we don't care how our moods and emotions effect others. Sucking it up and being happy is not always and option.

Chrissy, thanks for your reply.

I'm not surprised by your comments and understand you are coping, but how much longer do you want to continue on the same path that led you down the highway of hell? Everyone's life comes with many unwanted events, thus over time as these multiply and we forget just how many we have had to endure.

The sure number take a toll which we don't realize the long term affect. The number of events in our life explain how our brain gets overloaded and why we turn to our physicians. The problem are physicians, who are trained to make all of us feel better. If we are diagnosed with depression their only solution is RX thus hello Lexapro.

Expand this post...

Physicians offices are full of RX reps every day giving out samples of a new and better med. Physicians offices are overloaded with patients all suffering from different illnesses, therein lies the problem. Only a specialist can really determine whether you are suffering from depression. GP's deal with so many patients and it's so easy to prescribe an RX without spending time to find the underlying cause. Sounds like you fall into this category, my suggestion lifestyle simplification... See a professional

I need professional help for what exactly and who are these professionals if not my physician, my psychiatrist and my psychologist? What exactly do I need to tell them now that they have covered my childhood, my teenage depression, my diagnosed type A personality, my move across the world my divorce my ex bf my everything what exactly do you want me to pay them for?

What exactly is your phd in cos if it is in the field of psychology I have to question your knowledge and experience with individuals suffering depression other than yourself.

My degrees are in the field of psychology and human sciences. I have counselled people and I do understand non self inflicted depression amongst people who have no underlying cause.

Expand this post...

Please answer: why were you on meds for 10 years if you had no need for it? Are your friends constantly their for you every time you got depressed and went in search of your root causes? Do you have a psychiatrist treating you at the moment? Do you have a psychologist counselling you?

You do not know anything about my physician. She put me on meds because I needed it not because she had samples. I went to her because she has an associate degree in psychology and has written papers on depression. Btw I do not have depression I suffer anxiety and stress and yes it is because of my childhood my marriage and everything else I poured myself out about to professionals.

So how does rehashing it all every time I am depressed or manic help? Well it does not.

Therapy has taught me this. I can't stop my mind from choosing to repair itself but I can help it on its path of healing and if that means taking medication when I need it so be it. I will advocate for any person taking medication because when you need it most it helps. I would rather see someone allowing themselves time to heal than struggle on their own thinking that no one is listening professional or not.

To those that understand that some are predisposed to depression and bipolar and manic disorders I say don't let the know it alls tell you to suck it up. It's not always possible. And there are non judgemental people around who do understand, like those who supported me on this blog when I needed help.

I have learnt to know my limits and choose my battles. I know what signs I need to look out for so that I don't need to be dependent on medication even though my psychiatrist insisted I need to be on it for the long term.

Your comments are short sighted ill informed and lacking in depth as a result of it. Lexapro is not a resident evil. It does help when it is needed and if it is right for you. The withdrawals are intense and at its weakest scary. Getting off it will frustrate you and have you question it's authenticity in your healing that brought you to this place where you feel you can now go it alone. Good for you your meds did what you needed at the time. If your coming off it it's the toughest 4-6 weeks of all time. I took on a new job 6 weeks after I came off and I still felt mild symptoms but I got through. Thing fell apart again but I did not need to go back on meds because I learnt to look for the signs and use what I was taught to deal with things. It's not easy but I am able to deal with thing differently.

Good luck.