tlcandmoreMy brother has severe mental problems as well as being a hard-core drug addict. He is ADHD, OCD, paranoid schizophrenic and I believe he is also a psychopath or sociopath. I don't know if I am explaining this right as I have no experience with these disorders.
Without going into so much detail that this question would be 10 pages long I will try to explain a little of what we are dealing with. He is 48 yrs old and currently living with my 70+ yr old parents, who live across the street from us. We have tried everything under the sun to get him the help he so desperately needs, to no avail. When he does drugs (speed aka meth being his drug of choice) he goes off the deep end. He sees demons and thinks people are trying to sacrific him. That is just the tip of the iceberg. We have called the police many times and taken him to various hospitals but he ends up talking his way out of the situation. We have been told that unless he volunteers for help we have no recourse.
My question:
Is there any way we can have him committed? He is a danger to my parents and has come very close to doing them harm when in his drug-induced state - which is happening more and more frequently.
I don't know what to do or where to turn. Can anyone give me guidance? I am so afraid he is going to hurt my mom or dad. Please, if anyone has experience with this, I need your help. Thanks for any and all responses.
-Terri-
Please help me!! I have put off asking this question but now I am scared and desperate?
- Posted:
- 20 Mar 2012 by tlcandmore
- Topics:
- obsessive compulsive disorder, paranoid disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (adhd)
Responses (15)
Anonymous 20 Mar 2012
You need to talk to an attorney and maybe the attorney can get the district attorney to help forcibly commit him. Meth can cause schizophrenic like madness and seeing demons and feeling people are trying to kill him, indicates he could be very dangerous to himsef, your parents and anyone in his path. get an attorney and seek legal help to have him forcibly medicated and/ or hospitalized before he goes to jail or worse. Saying a prayer for you and your parents. Patti
lisajznj20 Mar 2012
I am not sure but I think the requirements for involuntary commitment of an adult vary from state to state. Look up "Baker's Act" I think that has something to do with it. Contacting an attorney is a great idea, but I think if another emergency situation comes up you should call the police and the nearest crisis center. Ask them to send an ambulance that your brother is threatening to harm himself and others. This can be a difficult step, but remember you may be saving his and/or your parents' lives. Methamphetamine can cause psychosis and your brother could be capable of anything. Sometimes it is hardest to help the ones we love the most. I wish your whole family the best, and my prayers are with you. Lisa Z.
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Hi Lisa,
I haven't talked to you before but have read many of your fantastic responses. As soon as I got your response I looked up the Baker's Act and it is exactly what we need. I am going to get the process started today. Thanks so much for caring and responding so quickly. It means more than you know, especially the prayers.
Your friend -Terri-
lisajznj
20 Mar 2012
Good morning Terri, I'm glad I could help and Echo's clarification was awesome. Don't be embarassed we all have things in our families that we wish we could change. But you are doing the right thing. My motto lately is, "Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but an expression of extreme courage!" I went through a lot of the same with my older brother (R.I.P.) and my Mom (R.I.P.). My brother was a very sick man with serious addiction problems and my Mom was an enabler. He would chase her around the house with a knife one night and then they were best friends the next day! It was hard to get involved because ultimately I would become the bad guy. So I just tried to protect my mom the best I could and my brother would make the rounds of jail and rehab. Things would be okay for awhile, then it would start all over again. My brother didn't make it past 41, he died of an alcohol induced diabetic seizure.
Anonymous 23 Mar 2012
echo0820 Mar 2012
Hey Terri - so sorry u & ur fam r going through this. How easy/hard it is 2 get an involuntary commitment does vary some from state 2 state, but the basic criteria r the same: someone can be Baker acted (called the Mental Hygiene Act in some states) for a 72 hr. hold if they're a danger 2 him/her self or others. It certainly sounds like he should b considered both. I'm kinda baffled & amazed that even w/ a history of u calling the proper authorities he's been able 2 talk his way out of it. Finding a good Family Practice Attorney could work, but where I am, there would still have 2 be a psychologist or psychiatrist in the mix. Unless u want 2 go the route of using an attorney 2 have him declared incompetent, which would force him 2 have a psych eval whether he agrees 2 it or not. The added plus in going that way is that he would have 2 get his own attorney 2 fight it.
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Echo sweetie thanks so much. To tell you the truth I SO appreciate the long msg and all the good info. I did look up the Baker's Act and I'm going to try to get that started today. I didn't want to post this question because I was embarrassed but I am glad I did now. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this site and people like you who are willing to help people like me that don't know where to turn. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks so much sweetie.
With love and appreciation -Terri-
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
I forgot to add that I will also look up the Myers Act. Also, you didn't overwhelm me just the opposite. I was already overwhelmed and your post gave me some hope. I don't have a problem doing what needs to be done here. We have tried to help him in every way possible. Now it's time to protect my parents!! So, thanks again sweetie.
A very grateful -Terri-
bumblebee9020 Mar 2012
Dear Terri,
My husband has a brother who was in a similar situation. Years ago he fell from a 3rd story building and hit his head. It did some brain damage and he started using drugs. In and out of jail. Taking advantage of his parents very badly, and hurting himself. I was going to suggest some of the above, but they allready did. I just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers my friend. It was very hard on my hubby. I know that. It has to be for you too. I'm here if you need to talk, as always. Big luvs and hugs, and God Bless. Ruthie
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Thanks Ruthie,
It's been a really rough day but we did get him on a 48 hour psych hold. Now we just need to figure out what to do next. It's killing me watching what he's doing to my parents. Even so it was hard watching them take him away in handcuffs. I appreciate the support and prayers.
Love ya girl -Terri-
bumblebee90
21 Mar 2012
Dear Terri,
I can only imagine how hard it was to see that, but remember everything happens for a reason, and this is the best thing for all parties involved. You have to see it that way and know now your parents can maybe have some peace. And you too. What was happening wasn't right. I love ya too girl, and hope you can have a somewhat peaceful night's sleep. I'm here if you need me. Ruthie
pledge20 Mar 2012
Just want to add this. Lots of great advice. Theres one possible glitch. Once anyone is commited under the Baker Act, it is out of the familys hands. They upon requesting, or his/her asking family members to ask that particular institutions administration be released and sent home is not possible. It is up to the doctors to determine when and if she/he might be released. Could be months, and months or longer. Just my thoughts, best wishes,pledge
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Hi Pledge,
I didn't know that and appreciate the info. This probably sounds cold but I believe he needs to be somewhere for months and months. Although, it's a scary thought that we would have no control over his care once he's in the system. Since we live in Texas it looks like the Baker Act is hard to get someone committed under anyway. It may be a moot point. I'm still looking for options that might work for him. Thanks for the good wishes. Take care my friend -Terri-
pledge
21 Mar 2012
I understand. Be well Terri and take care.
DzooBaby20 Mar 2012
It looks like you got some good advice. Calling adult protective services is a good idea and telling your parents Drs is a great idea! It is hard to believe that police could be so ineffective but they are! I have lost all faith and respect for many of them. I know there are good cops out there but so many of them are just worthless! I dont know if it is just that they are so overwhelmed or that they are jaded or perhaps just not paid enough to give a sh$t but I have seen them to be very ineffective and no help at all in many cases! I think that meth is one of the WORST drugs out there! It positively steals a persons soul! I'll be praying for you and your family! It sounds like there is definte reason for your concern. He is going to hurt someone without help and I dont want that help to come only after someone is hurt! You would think that if meth is involved the police would be right on it! I just shake my head girl! I'll be praying for you and your family!
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Hi Dzoo,
I know... I have been so frustrated with this whole mess. AND here's the kicker he's on parole!! You would think that we could get something done for that reason alone. Believe me we have tried. He has even given 2 dirty urine drug screens and instead of his PO violating him, he just stopped testing him. Can you believe that?
So, we called 911 this morning and they did come and pick him up but said that could only do a 48 hour hold. They told us in Texas it's VERY difficult to get someone committed under the Baker Act. I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. My parents are reluctant to do what needs to be done, so it falls to me. I've never dealt with anything like this but I'm hanging in there. Thanks for the prayers. Looks like I will need all I can get.
Much love and appreciation -Terri-
neferteri120 Mar 2012
Hi, ticandmore... just got on my computer and have seen what you have been going through and I am so sorry. It looks like you had a lot of great advice and hopefully have found some resolution to your problem. You would be surprised at how often this happens. I work in a field where I see it frequently. Thank you for having the courage to come forward and seek that help!! I hope all is better now... keep us all posted... you have a lot of people that care for you! :)
tlcandmore
20 Mar 2012
Hey sweetie - I have been working on this all day. We did finally get them to take him in for a 48 hour psych hold. I can't really find any help on what to do after that. Everyone that I've called just keep giving me the run around and referring me somewhere else. I'm not giving up though. There has to be an answer. Unfortunately, my parents don't want to do what needs to be done so I'm kinda between a rock and a hard place. I will make the tough decisions though if it means keeping them safe even if they don't like it. Thanks for the support and kind words. It means more than you know. It's good to hear from you even if it is under such bad circumstances.
Your friend -Terri-
21 Mar 2012
Dear Terri,
As you can see, there is a true outpouring of love and awesome support here for you during this very difficult situation. I told you there was NO reason to be embarrassed about asking for help. This is a situation others have faced as well. By asking for help, your friends and family here have shown you that you are not alone. Everyone is here for you and WE ALL LOVE YOU AND ARE CONCERNED FOR YOU! You have gotten a wealth of knowledge that has already begun to help you, hon. We are here for you whenever you need us. You only need ask. I've found that even in our worst moment, no one should ever feel embarrassed to come here and ask any questions. We are family here and love and support our own. You know how to reach me, hon.
In love and peace,
Tee
tlcandmore
22 Mar 2012
Tee - What a wonderful friend you've turned out to be!! Who knew that 2 people would be brought together by an ailment that we have in common. We don't suffer from the exact same thing, just as we are not exactly alike but being able to know what the other is going through has really brought us closer together. I have enjoyed getting to know you and having someone to share with. Just wanted to say I appreciate you. We are so blessed to be a part of the dc family. There is so much support and love here as we help each other through each battle and difficult situation.
Thanks to all who have supported me and held me up in prayer. Special thanks to you too Tee just for being you!!
Love and Hugs -Terri-
chris65 tlcandmore
22 Mar 2012
Hi Chris,
Thanks for responding to my cry for help. We were finally able to get someone out here yesterday and they took him in on a 48 hour psych hold. I don't know why it is 48 instead of 72 unless that's just what they do in Texas. We are trying to get further treatment for him and I found info that I think will allow them to do a 90 day involuntary commitment.
I really appreciate the feedback. Take care and best wishes.
Your friend -Terri-
madhatter...23 Mar 2012
PLEASE remember to protect YOURSELF too--not just your parents!
At some point he will fully realize that it is YOU behind everything, and then watch out!
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Mary, madhatter.
PS: I have NO info on this subject, but might suggest that you keep a diary, by date and time, of what is happening. This might come in handy later, if there are court proceedings...
tlcandmore
24 Mar 2012
Mary,
Thanks for the support and prayers. Fortunately my mom has kept a calendar where she has written all the things that have happened with my brother. She has also kept a list of all the things we have tried to get him the help he needs. It has been a stressful time for all of us but I think especially for me. It has been up to me to make the hard decisions and follow through with them. I really appreciate you thinking of me.
With love and hugs -Terri-
madhattersbash
24 Mar 2012
We are all here for you.
Best wishes,
Mary, mad hatter.
24 Mar 2012
Terri, in my opinion you're best alternative is the 90 day commitment. I know it is hard right now, but I would be willing to bet that with the right care: therapy, meds and support, your brother will have a chance to hopefully have a moment of clarity. A moment of clarity is just a realization of what he has been doing to himself and his family by his drug use and irrational behavior. It unfortunately is accompanied by a lot of guilt and shame. But with the right staff and group of peers at the hospital he will be able to learn some tools to cope with those feelings. Ninety days is a enough time for him to realize that you and your parents are just trying to help him. Don't lose hope this could be the beginning of a whole new life for him. He may be angry at first, and if he is maybe the best way for you to communicate with him is through letters. Tell him how much you love and care about him but that you and your parents are afraid for him and yourselves.
tlcandmore
24 Mar 2012
Lisa,
We are working frantically to get the 90 day commitment. The facility that he is in now is an acute care facility and they just get the patient stablized. He is still in really bad shape. I saw him today and he truly believes that there are demons trying to sacrifice him. He even thinks the doctors are in on it. We keep trying to tell him that this is just not true but he is convinced.
lisajznj
25 Mar 2012
Terri, He is showing symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. I can't imagine them releasing him until they at least get him on the right meds to stabilize those symptoms. Today there are amazing meds to help with hearing voices and paranoid delusions. They may only release him to another facility to that is better equipped to handle his situation. Make sure you are nurturing yourself through this difficult time and know you are doing the best you can with the resources you have. Some of his symptoms may also be induced by the abrupt withdrawal from the Meth and may alleviate on their own the longer he stays clean. Keep the faith and know that I am praying for your whole family! Lisa Z.
hillbilly...24 Mar 2012
Oh, Terri, I am so sorry for you, your family, and your brother. I went through the same exact thing with my mother. I had a terrible experience getting her the help she needed. I was told repeatedly 'until she actually tries to harm herself or someone else, nothing could be done.' Try contacting the law, to at least let them know you are aware of how bad things are. If your brother has a Dr., make an appointment to speak with him/her privately. Get people who know about this to write letters about how they feel about your brothers actions, whether it's fear of him, or fear of what might happen, make copies, show these to the Dr, and the law. This is all I can remember right now, I will try to think of what else I had to do. By the way, Momma had Paranoid Schizophrenic, it was awful, please let me know how it goes... you are in my prayers
tlcandmore
24 Mar 2012
Hi HBG,
You are so right about it being a terrible experience. It is so hard seeing him that way. Heartbreaking. He truly believes there are demons trying to sacrifice him. In fact, he just told me the doctors and other employees at the facility are in on it and that demons have taken some of them over. He even thinks they're fattening him up. I have never dealt with anything like this and I'm blown away by how convinced he is that this is really happening. He gets so angry that we don't believe him. You're right it is awful to see someone you love like that.
Thanks so much for the prayers and the emotional support. It's such a blessing to have this site and the friends I have made here. I would be lost otherwise.
With love and appreciation -Terri-
25 Mar 2012
Terri, my name is Anna, and you've been on my mind all day long. Are you by yourself in this, other than your parents? You really need to watch yourself, and your parents, because one of the many times the Dr.'s sent momma back home with me, she attacked me with one of my own butcher knives that I thought was well hidden. She knew who I was, but, "those people" told her I was gonna kill her... I feel so sorry for you... please keep in touch. I gotta go for tonight, but, I'll check back first thing in the morning. Take care & be safe... much love, Anna-aka-hillbillygirl45
tlcandmore
25 Mar 2012
Hi Anna,
I can see that you understand. I do have the support of my wonderful hubby. It's my parents that I really worry about. I do think they are finally taking this seriously though. This last episode he got my moms car keys somehow and when she tried to stop him from leaving he almost ran her down with her own car. He did knock her over and she could have been hurt badly. Even so they still don't think that he is a danger to them. They have decided he's a danger to himself. Thanks so much sweetie for the support. I'm trying to get rested up today for what I know is going to be a long and trying week. Wish me luck. I will keep you informed.
Much love and appreciation -Terri-
tigerwiger12 Sep 2012
Hello Terri, I am new to this sight and know from personal experience what you are going through. Of course I am only 28 and I am the one who was a threat to my love ones. I have found that my meds have done wonders in my life and have done a complete 340° turn ( still have a few glitches) and am wondering if your brother is refusing his meds or not?
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Ter, I totally agree with Patti... Mar
Thanks so much Patti. We have called the police here a couple of times but he always talks his way out of it. I didn't even think about an attorney. We also called the MHMR crisis line but because it was the weekend they said take him to the county hospital. He wouldn't go. So they said call 911 but like I said he talked his way out of it. The policeman also told us it is extremely difficult to get an adult committed involuntarily.
I will contact a lawyer tomorrow and see what I can find out. Thanks so much for the info and the quick responce. Most of all thanks for the prayers!!
You too Mar. Love you guys!! -Ter-
Hi Terri,
I don't have anything to add, you recieved great advice! I just want you to know that I will be thinking of you and your family.
Lara
x
Thanks Sweetie Lemon Lara Pie. I can always count on you and Mar for support. It means the world to me especially right now!! Both of you have been there for me since I joined DC and I couldn't ask for better friends.
Much love and big Texas hugs -Ter-
Ter, a big Irish hug... via Michigan!!
Have you googled the Baker Act yet? I hope your brother gets the help he needs and is no longer a threat to himself or anyone else.
Yes I did google it and have already spoken to my parents about it. It was exactly what we needed. Now we know what to do. I am about to start the process so wish me luck. I'm going to need it. Something tells me it's going to be a long day!!
Love ya sweetie -Ter-
Terri, you've got my prayers. Please, at the end of this day, IF you have the energy, please post to let us know you are OK. I will worry about you if you don't post.
I had to commit someone when I was 18 years old, and it was one of the most traumatizing thing in my entire life. But if committing someone saves their or someone else's life then it IS the best thing you can do for that person and the people around them. Be strong Terri.
Lara
x
Hi Ter, just popping in to wish you lots of luck. It's horrible thing to hae to go thru, but be strong as I know you are, & don't forget to take care of yourself. Love ya, Mar