Primary Nocturnal Enuresis - My stepson is 10 and still wets the bed. Is it normal?

One of my good friends and sorority sisters is a psychiatrist. She has been studying early childhood education for years. My mother-in-law is also an educator who has been in the field for over 30 years and is currently a elementary school principal set to retire. I gave you that background only so that you can understand where my opinion is coming from. As posted in another answer I responded to, please know that I am NOT an expert.

I too have ADHD, specifically AD/HD (I am of the combined type, got both ADD and ADHD); I have 2 young boys, am the eldest of 4 children and come from a HUGE family (i.e., I have 145 first cousins on my mother's side alone). I use to substitute teach and I have also worked as a social worker (I am currently preparing for the CA Bar exam... I am a 2007 law school grad), and I worked a lot with children who had either my diagnoses (ADD, ADHD, other learning disabilities like dyslexia) and autism.

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I have found that a lot of boys have wet the bed up until the age of 12 for various reasons, and not one was because of their diagnoses of ADD, ADHD or other learning disorders. Sometimes there are emotionally, psychological, or even biological factors that causes them to do so.

I think your stepson may have had issues (from being a child who suffered from drug abuse as a fetus) that may have had some affects on him that his body may still be dealing with, but he WILL come out of this. Him acting like he does not care MAY be a result of the exact opposite. Sometimes we (ADHD) tend to allow situations to appear one way to make it easier to deal with. Especially with boys, it is easier to pretend that something does NOT bother you or act like you don't care then to deal with the fact that something is wrong.

This little boy is on medication, he knows you all have issues with him wetting the bed, and I'm not too sure but I bet he may have some personal issues with his mother (or you even, depending on how long you have been his step mom b/c even if he is not close to her, he still knows about his mother). He has a lot going on in his mind and what is worse is that he possibly can TRULY NOT help it right now, but again, easier to act like you don't care versus letting out there is a problem.

In time, he will get better. I wish I could tell you sooner than later, but it seems (from what you wrote) that there definitely may be other factors attributed to him wetting the bed, not just because he has ADHD. Like seriously, I doubt ADDERALL would relieve him of wetting the bed.

Another sorority sister of mine deals with foster children and this issue you are dealing with is common in her life. She has actually adopted one of her foster kids (she is a social worker as well) and between the child she has adopted and some of the other children she has kept before their reunification process, they have eventually stopped wetting the bed. It didn't happen over night, but she understood that some things take more times then others because each of those children suffered different experiences in their life to cause them to wet in the bed.

YOU keep loving your stepson, be supportive and proactive as you are being, but make sure he understands you are not trying to punish him or making him to believe something is wrong with him. At 10 years old, he has not lived long enough to be a failure, or a problem child (if you will) or an issue because of his bed wetting.

You all will get through this, just keep loving him and constantly remind him that everything is and will be fine, keep limiting the liquids, be encouraging if and when he has a night where he does not wet the bed, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, be patient with him and this situation. It may seem as if it will never end, but it will. Things are going to be fine and he will get through this with your love and support.

If this IS a medical issue, you all will find out how to deal (like if something is wrong with his bladder, he has other issues going on in his body that makes him wet himself, etc.)
However, if this ONLY happens at night (like can he go throughout the day without peeing on himself or if he napped during the day, would he wet himself like he does at night) or in his bed, etc, it may be something emotional or psychological.

DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP OR STRESS OUT TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS! I know this is easier said then done because you always worry about your kids. However, know that you are not the first parent to experience this so please be encouraged, this too shall pass.

In terms of giving him more time to grow out of it, I suggest you continue to be proactive in your approach to assist him to not wet the bed as much, but yes, in time, he will grow out of it. Again, unless there is a medical issue in terms of lack of bladder control (please see an MD about that), it may be something else and through love and continued support, he will grow out of it.

I hope my answer helped. God bless you. Please feel free to respond or contact me if I can be of further support.

Hi I wish to share my story. I am twenty-three years old now, however I enuresis issues at night up until the age of twenty. I went to many different doctors and did find an anwser Vesicare 10 MG once nightly. I am now down to 5 MG once nightly it works and works well. I am a sound sleepier I tried restricting fluids bed wetting alarms had my parents wake me I even drank Gaterode as an exerise to increase my bladder size. I had a test done at Froedert medical college of WI. Basically I came with a full bladder and peed into a cup they meausred how big my bladder was how much it could hold how fast I went and then my bladder was filled back up and I had to tell them when I had to go. I had to go but my brain told me I could hold it. During the day my brain is a wake and can over ride my need to pee unnecessarly. At night I sleep to deep and don't wake up. I tried Impraime and DDAVP none of which worked for me.

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After being on Vesicare it's a miracle I always told my granmda who since has passed and myself that there was a cure and I found it. Don't wait until your step son is too old. I was also told I would grow out of it and never did I had medical reasons behind it I was diganoised with having bladder spasms. You are not alone there is help.

I hope this was helpful seek treatment from a good doctor I seen Dr. O'Conner and Erica Gumm directly under his supervisioin very nice people with great bed side manners. Good luck!!!