Hi, I have been taking percs and hydro (liquid and pill) for the past couple of years on/off. I have had several months clean and found that my addiction was mostly mental... until lately. This past summer I made a stupid (and I emphasize that that word greatly) decision to see a quack psychiatrist who put me on suboxone after I told him I was abusing pain pills here and there. He put me on 8mg a day. After being on the stuff nearly two months (and turning into an antisocial person my family didn't even recognize) I realized I had made a huge mistake and quit the stuff cold turkey. That only lasted a few days (the withdrawals were horrible) and I had never experienced opiate withdrawals before (except for some minor fatigue that would go away after a day or two) and I eventually started self medicating to treat the w/d's (taking benzo's such as xanax or taking other opiates such as hydro's or percs occassionally) Now if i go a day without an opiate or a benzo I feel like total crap and can't function AT ALL. I find to even do my school work (college senior, close to graduation), I have to have something to relieve the w/d's. I have been going to AA, as I stopped drinking (which I had a major issue with before and throughout my pill addiction) but I am still on the pills and don't want to tell my sponsor b/c of the fear that they will stop working with me b/c I'm not actually "sober" if I'm taking these medications. Can anyone give me any advice? I've been off the subs for over a month and still can't get through a week without taking something to alleviate feeling like death mentally and physically. Thanks and sorry for the lengthy question.
-John