He is really short tempered he is cursing all the time he gets mad about the smallest things and makes a big scene. Yesterday he got mad at my son because he misspelled some words uh I'm tired he needs help. He curses all the time and does not know how to control his anger at all it's embarrassing to bring him around family I'm really getting tired and i do love him but it needs to stop what can i do or give him to control him or put a stop to this please help me help him ?
12 Oct 2011
There is nothing you can do for this man aside from encouraging him to get help. He has to want the help first. Does he realise he has this problem? Is he abusive physically to you or your son? If he is, call the police!!
If not, if it is verbal, that is almost as bad as physical abuse!!
Please try talking to him when he is in a calm mood, if that ever happens... does it ever happen? IS he ever calm? If not, just bring the subject up when your son goes to bed, tell him his anger is destroying your family, let him know what he is doing to your son and you!!
I wish you all the best, and please stay with us, you need some support!!
13 Oct 2011
I feel for you and I totally understand. My husband can be a large jerk too. I think a lot of my husbands problem is unrelieved pain. He has torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders but being a man, he wont go to the Dr to either get it taken care of or to get some kind of pain meds. He comes home and hits the door and it begins-he yells and says nasty things to the kids, nasty things to me. Some days I dread his coming home. I love the man. I know there is a decent person inside there because he can be very sweet and thoughful when he wants to. My kids have been around it a good part of their lives and they wish I would leave him-they are 16 almost 17 and 20 now so they are not little. It breaks my heart to hear them say this because I know their father loves them very much. I have tried talking to my husband and it will work for awhile then he is back to the same ole stuff. I honestly dont think he realizes how bad he is.
Some days I wish I had a hidden camera so I could show him how he acts (then he wonders why I dont want to be intimate!) This is one example-he gets absolutely furious if someone flushes the toilet while he is in the shower in the evening. It does make the water hot but everyone else just adjusts the water and no big deal. Well for him it is a big deal. I told him "What are the kids supposed to do-keep their friends from using the bathroom and beside the fact that most people flush automatically without thinking about it!" So now he locks the hall bathroom when he showers in the master bath so no one goes in! The only thing you can really do is to talk to him but be prepared to give him reminders when he begins to slip. If you can get him to counselling that would be ideal. Like you said, it is the small things that he goes off on. It is never anything big. What it is that makes them so frustrated and bitter I have no idea but I do know what you go through!
12 Oct 2011
I agree with my friend sweetlemon, but wanted to add that alot of people don't even realize they do this. So try talking to him first of all & ask him if he realizes how he speaks to you & his son. Maybe he is having a difficult time at work or something & carries it home. It is also a sign of depression. I go thru this with my husband all the time. When it gets really bad & I just flat out ell him he needs a change in his meds or at least an increase. He says he doesn't realize he's being that way. Good luck to you & your husband. Oh, & you might want to talk to your son, & tell him Daddy just got some things on his mind, that he's really not angry with you. Poor little guy...
12 Oct 2011
Loopz I gotta as has he always had somewhat f a temper or is this completely new? Does he drink or d recreational drugs? Does he have any chronic illness? Cause my first reaction in any case where someone is having anger issues to the point where they can't control it near their children is to get the child out of the situation. Even if it is a medical situatin children can't handle understanding how to sort it all out they blame themselves. And then the consciences can follow them for life. But id it is medical you need to try to talk to him he may nt realize what is going on. Depending on his age can be anything from elstimimers to deprrssion. If your husband is dabbling in drugs or alcohol. It sounds very much like a drug induced rage.
Which you may not be aware of but I have seen lots of people not be able to control their anger when they have got into the nastiness of an addiction most of the time family members are the last to know if this is the case pack up get out!!! Call a wmens shelter get your birth cerificates ss cards money bank card phone numbers memorabila a prepaid phone if can and get out. If it is any physical violents at all grab your son call 911 and go eveything is replacable but those 2 things take care good luck pq me if need to take care litlmmmag. Jaime
12 Oct 2011
You guys are right (as always). Loopz, you can't do anything to make him stop acting out; all you can do is encourage him to get help. If he refuses (which he probably will as we men seldom see that are actions could ever be wrong), you'll either have to learn to deal with it OR lay down the law (I would suggest the second option) because when children are involved, they tend to make other people's problems or short-comings their own. A child will almost always think he/she has done something to cause behavior they see from others. Hope it all works out.
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