My boyfriend has been addicted to pain pills for quite some time now, probably three years or more. I did not know about it for a long time until it came out in the open some way or another. He mainly takes lortabs and percocets from what I know. He wants to quit and has tried quitting a few times. Each time he has tried quitting it has been cold turkey and he ended up relapsing. He did try Suboxone one time for a few days and he ran out and relapsed again. He now feels that if he goes and stays with someone for a month or so that will help him because he will be away from the people he can get them from. Is this the right way to do it? Should he try and eliminate the people he gets them from in all ways? Changing his number? I want to help him in any way possible. I know when he has withdraws he says it is the worst thing ever and I think the pain he feels from the withdraws makes him relapse. I am willing to be here for him through it all, as I've read through some posts on here it is not an easy process. Any suggestions how I can help him? It's not easy and can be hard for me as well, he's a great person and I think life would be much better without them.
29 Oct 2009
Wow, Brandy 37, I don't even know where to start with answers for you. Probably one of the first things to help you, and him too, is to get a better education on the disease of addiction. I have been to AA,NA, rehab x a million and it is not something that can be fixed overnight. One of the best books I have read on the subject is called "Healing the Addicted Brain", by Harold C. Urschel M.D. There are many theories on the hows and whys of addiction, and this book explains it in a way that makes much sense to me and explains how and why we addicts can't seem to get clean even though it many times costs us EVERYTHING that we love and then some. I had heard in rehab one time about our brains being wired differently and I do agree. I am convinced I was born this way as my mother has told me many times of when I was a baby with colic, screaming and screaming. The dr. gave her phenobarbital drops to sedate me and instead of putting me to sleep, it wired me 2/20.
Anyway, back to getting educated, I think that is a good place for you to start. Remember, he has to want it too, you can't do it for him. Changing people, places and things works only temporarily. When an addict needs their substance, they will find a way. It's just like rehab, you do real well when you're in there, but when you get back in the real world, you find yourself faced with the same old demons. I would recommend getting help from everywhere that he possibly can. Different things work/help different folks. Addiction is extreamly powerful and I've heard it a million times, but I really believe it, you need to go after recovery with the same intensity that he went after his drugs. I have abused drugs since I was 13 years old and I am now 53. I have tried many, many different ways to quit. I have been clean now since 8-6-09 and I'm doing it with alot of help from God, AA meetings, a psychiatrist who put me on Suboxone, which has been wonderful ( for me), and a wonderful licensed drug counselor who has become one of my dearest friends. Alot of time the drugs are only a symptom of other underlying issues. But it's not the same for everybody. Please find some GOOD sources of info on addiction. If money is an issue, the AA and NA meeting places have lots of literature which is at least a start. Once again, I highly recommend the book I told you about above. It not only explains the hows and whys of addiction but it gives a step by step plan on how for him to help himself stay sober. You will be in my prayers. If I can help in any way, you know where to find me. I will flag this conversation and my email will notify me when a comment comes . I usually check this site 2-3 times a day. I wish I had found it months ago.
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