Okay, hello everyone. Hope all is well and to those who are fighting the good fight, keep it up, because being clean is worth fighting for with every breath. I'm posting again because I'm having problems with my methadone, and this time instead of going to another forum I decided to create one to discuss these problems verbatum. Here's some background info on me first. I'm a two year OC, percocet, vicodin, morphine you name an opiate I abused it type of guy. Originally I was switched onto Subutex and I finally kicked a demon that had been plagueing me what seemed like forever. Even though it only was two years of my life it has affected me for the rest of it, because I have learned what lengths I will go to to get a high from these kinds of drugs. I was never living on the streets or anything like that, but stealing from relatives money and pills, my parents money, my brother, it just was sickening how I learned to twist people into believing what I wanted them to hear and then got money or drugs out of the situation. Anywho, I was on Subutex and then started having complications. Evidently subutex wasn't agreeing with me for some reason because I started kicking and having violent withdrawls every couple of doses and I was on a pretty low dose in the first place (about 8 to 12 mg a day). The doctors then decided to switch me to methadone. I didn't know much about methadone, only that it was strong as hell, and that heroin users were always prescribed it. I started methadone about three months ago. The first month was bliss, no high, no pain, just content. It flew by and my script stayed the same. The second month I lost about twenty of the pills (long story... believe me it's true), when they went flying down the drain in the early morning. In turn instead of going to the doctors I went to my medicine cabinet and took four milligrams of Subutex 48 hours after my last methadone dose. Lets just say that the next hours were pure hell, and I ended up calling my doctor to tell him what happened, and what a stupid thing I had done. He gave me my regular dose, told me he wasn't mad, and sent me on my way. Here's where the problem comes in, the original fifty milligram dose I was on... did't kill the symptoms! In fact it took twenty extra milligrams a day to kill the pain of the withdrawal. I plan on explaining this to my doctor, but that still means that I ran out early. Now the main and pressing question right now. It is currently 12:35 a.m. on Monday morning. I am withdrawing from the methadone. I haven't had anything methadone wise since Thursday morning at 2 a.m. Needless to say it's been way more than forty eight hours since my last methadone dose. I took a couple of vicodin last night so that I could work because I was afraid to take the sub. I'm worried about taking the sub because I don't want what happened last time to happen again, and now that I've taken the vicodin I'm terrified of taking the sub. Even though I'm sick and feel like hell and think that the sub would help there's this voice in my head that's telling me "it could happen again." So if anyone out there can give me some advice on this topic I would love to hear what people's opinions are. Last time I thought that I was withdrawing, and I was really just tired and sore from working on my feet all day. This time I'm having chills and the same other types of symptoms, and i have been working... but, i don't know i'm just worried about what's going to happen when i take the sub. any info would be awesome. thanks guys.

We were somewhere near barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold...