I have lived much longer than I ever expected to, and I believe in that worn out saying; "If I knew I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of myself!"
I've been though a lot in my life, both with life itself and especially with drugs. I started at 12 sniffing gasoline then on and up from there. I would list everything I’ve either abused or have been prescribed but it would be a very long list containing alcohol, street drugs (all the ones you smoke, snort and/or inject) and prescribed drugs; pain meds, anxiety, muscle relaxers, anti-psychotics, and everything in-between.
It would be much more efficient to say this; I have done everything, and I mean everything except sniff glue or smoke crack, and whatever it was I would always do more of it than you would or could. Very high tolerance to these substances and to pain, both which proved to be a curse later on in life.
I am blessed to have survived when you consider how I always took a lot more than anyone else, and I tried and/or done every drug there is to try (with the only 2 exceptions; sniffing glue (understandable considering how I started) and smoking crack, which became popular long after I came to my senses.
That was then, this is now. I survived a horrible full-year long withdrawal mess in 2005 when I abruptly stopped taking all the 13 prescribed meds I was on, which included 240mg of Methadone. In fact, one Dr. called me "The Miracle Man" just for the Methadone part of that. It took almost 3-years to really recover. I came out of that with RLS and my eyes will never be the same when it comes to sensitivity to light. It's 2012 and I still feel the after affects of this hideous hell ride.
Then in 2008 diagnosed with Stage 3 Malignant Melanoma, which to the amazement of every Dr involved, miraculously did not metastasize. I have completely disintegrated discs L5 through S1 and Spinal Stenosis, just July 16th I was not told the discs in my T-Spine are also weakening, pushing out to the sides. I live in constant, extreme pain. No relief, matter not if I sit, stand, lie on my back, I drag this pain around as if I were chained to a dead body
Also in my past I have had psychotic episodes, suicidal tendencies, cutting, and a plethora of other items I'd rather not list here.
I do not pretend to be a medical authority and will post responses if I can help, and from what I read here on this site I can indeed help a lot for those who need it. I am often labeled cruel, judgmental and evil by some of the self-proclaimed save the world authorities here (not the web admins either). If the truth hurts then let it hurt. I refuse to enable or coddle when abuse is obvious, or rampant ignorance is evident. We are not your fellow druggies here, and my little corner is all about pointing you to cease the game you play in your own world that does nothing to lead you to being clean and sober. I have lived the life of an addict and still label myself as such for once you are, you are. If you don't like what I say, take that opinion and a few bucks and take a bus ride, especially if you choose to jump on me in the public forum. I have been led by some to change my tact, some who have approached with respect, not venom.
I am a big believer in Recovery, the fact that I came through what I have done is all the proof needed. I have no compassion for people who continue to abuse and/or sell their prescriptions and/or support the street drug trade because of how difficult all that has made it on those of us who have a legitimate need for pain medication, and because this traffic is screwing up our youth, many of whom have barely tasted life.
I'm sorry if you're reading this because something I said sounded judgmental of offended you. What I have done with drugs in my time would have killed most people, and I came through a trial few could relate to. Does that make me a medical authority? No. Does is equip me to help those who have no hope? Yes. Hell yes.
There’s more, but that’s enough for now.
read less
