Danni926

Hello...my name is Danielle...42 year old female...i live in Newport, Delaware...i work in Regulatory Affairs & Operations for a small biotechnical... read more

Hello...my name is Danielle...42 year old female...i live in Newport, Delaware...i work in Regulatory Affairs & Operations for a small biotechnical pharmaceutical company (small molecule drugs for serious unmet medical needs) in Wilmington, DE. We have one commercial drug on the market, Jakafi® (ruxolitinib), the 1st & only product to be approved by the FDA for MF (Myelofibrosis). A recovering alcoholic, my sobriety date is February 24, 2006. I am also a recovering drug addict - cocaine, crank, crack, opiate pain killers....never heroin, never needles, & marijuana wasn't my thing though I've smoked it many times from the age of 14 up til my mid 30s...I had the hardest time kicking cocaine and opiate pain killers. My original clean date for opiates was November 11, 2005, but I made a choice to give it another shot February 27, 2010. I originally abused pills Dec 2001 til Nov 2005...i stopped cold turkey, detoxed at home because i was not working at the time, and was able to stay off of opiates for 4 years solid....obviously i wasn't done, though, because all it took was the dentist giving me an Rx for 12 vicoprofens and the next 7 months were the most nightmarishly intense opiate fueled months of my life. A whole new low, & I was taking more than ever & already stopped caring about money & not paying my bills in order to buy drugs. I've been taking suboxone since October 2010, the 8 mg orange tablet, I have tried the films and do not care for them. I am hoping I can either taper off of this stuff or switch to subutex once the last of the suboxone tablets are gone. I take much less suboxone now than i did in the early days. Some days I am ok with it, and other days I hate suboxone and become extremely anxious and depressed when i contemplate the whole idea of weaning off of this stuff. It's going to be the hardest thing I do, I'm guessing. The only diagnosis I've ever been professionally/medically given besides ADD is depression. I've taken several anti-d's since 2000 and had good experiences with most if not all of them, last taking celexa from 2009 until tapering off March 2012 to go on Wellbutrin, but after a month or so, it was not all that I read it would be and I was hugely disappointed. If I'd known it was going to be that way, I likely would have stuck with the celexa. January will be 9 months and a big part of me is ready to start a new one, I am just not sure which one is the one for me i have been on a suboxone program and off of opiates since 9/30/10...i started at 16-24 mg a day, and as of the last 2 months i have been taking 4 to 8 mg day...i am now at a place where i am trying to get a solid taper plan together... it's a confusing time, but i am glad to be here and hope to make the best decisions i can... i hope to meet new people, make new friendships, and hopefully help others as they help me with our experiences and suggestions, as well as shared knowledge of the good and the not so good with some of these meds many of us are trying in the hopes of feeling 'better', 'normal', less anxious, less sad, less suicidal, more motivated to get back into our lives, and overall 'even keel'...... Danielle (Danni)