pup6767

I started "liking" the way vicodin made me feel after a couple of infertility procedures but only used what was prescribed for that surgery and had... read more

I started "liking" the way vicodin made me feel after a couple of infertility procedures but only used what was prescribed for that surgery and had nor needed more....but I knew that I DID like the feeling. It wasn't until a few years later when I broke my leg and underwent surgery did I really start to abuse them. I was going through a difficult time in my life and found that they not only relieved the pain but also made me feel happier even though I had difficult things going on in my life.....and then a couple of back injuries which turned to chronic back conditions....and voila, I found that it was easy to get the drug prescribed by a pain specialist. So...I started treating all of my pain, emotional and physical, with Vicodin or the generic, hydrocodone.
My appetite grew for this substance as did my tolerance.......it grew and grew and grew. Eight years had passed and I had reached a number of 15-20 (10/325) pills a day to achieve what one---oh, so long ago--would do. I have been on 15- 20 tabs a day for the last 5-6 months leading into the reality of my addiction and admitting that I had a problem and that I needed to put a stop to all of the nonsense of revolving my life around getting pills. I had no idea that this drug was so addicting...but here I was addicted heavily to Vicodin. I prayed to God that He would lead me to find someone to whom I could admit this---I was so ashamed and embarrassed to tell a friend or family member. I also prayed so hard that God would take the craving away from me. I knew I did not want to go into withdrawal as I had tried to quit once before and the withdrawals were horrible. So...God did lead me to this wonderful and supportive and kind and loving group of individuals to whom I could finally tell about this horrible addiction. He also led me to find out about suboxone which does indeed take away the cravings of an opiate like Vicodin, helps you to not have to go through terrible withdrawal pains, and slowly helps you to be free for good from all opiates. I am currently on 2 mg strips twice a day and will someday soon start to wean down from those and be totally free. I have hope....I am healing.....and I have these wonderful people here to help me along the way as I also hope to mutually help them and others who have come here, like me, looking for help.............